I'm sorry. But I got my fiancée and chat hooked on this. And now it's just updated. Your life will never be the same again.

Edit: Save and refresh the newer version. Updated earlier to version 1.01.

Edit 2: Serious buffs ahead! Version 1.021 out! Also, from the older version, AUGH.

Edit 3: Success!

Edit 4: Version 1.028 out! Adds a whole ton of stuff, including achievements! List.

Edit 5: Version 1.031. Oh, no. The gods have forsaken us.

Edit 6: Version 1.036. Oh, my god, why. Okay, I think I'm going to test a reset, this is just brutal... 900 trillion for one upgrade.

cadiremar (11 months ago)

Hah! Just got the last upgrade! Now I'm impatiently waiting for the game update that adds "Kitten Workers"...

Ludicus

(11 months ago)

Blackker (11 months ago*)

Forgive me

Edit: seems like it got removed

Hovering over your link and reading the text has made me very afraid...

Osiris11235

(11 months ago)

You bring the likes of Jenna Jameson and Bree Olson to shame

Blackker

(11 months ago)

"Your body is now 98.5% semen". I was actually enjoying that game! x3

NCKKO

(11 months ago)

Me too, me too

Blackker

(11 months ago)

TheArgonaut69 (11 months ago)

I CAN'T STOP

NCKKO (11 months ago)

Need.new.upgrades.pls. I don't know what to do with my life right now.

JoeyBeanz (11 months ago)

With the update I am now getting 215 billion cookies per second lol

yeah lol the numbers change alot per update

Luller

(11 months ago)

this could mean there's achievements for clicking manually

edit: 5000 manual clicks doesn't give anything

Luller

(11 months ago*)

UNCANNY CLICKER - beat the clicking speed world record

JoeyBeanz

(11 months ago)

Did 50k manual, no achievement.

Blackker

(11 months ago)

thx

Luller

(11 months ago)

Well damn... I refreshed the page and went from 350 billion cps down to 195 million cps :(

JoeyBeanz

(11 months ago)

yeah so it seems :O and now it went even lower

Luller

(11 months ago*)

Yeah, I don't really want to update to 1.028 yet. My 3billion/sec would go down to 115million/sec

Blackker

(11 months ago)

You, sir, are also out of the cookie league. :(

thejadefalcon (Support)

(11 months ago)

Oh no, please don't do this :(

Blackker

(11 months ago)

I think you can get back to the league by resetting the game (this still keeps the achievements and also nets you 3 new ones:p)

Luller

(11 months ago)

Yeah I did that :(

All my cookies ;_;

Blackker

(11 months ago)

You bastard. :| You, sir, are out of the league.

thejadefalcon (Support)

(11 months ago)

einfachGaer (11 months ago)

What is the milk for? o.O

Lowis (11 months ago)

Where is the milk coming from?

not sure:S

Luller

(11 months ago)

I think they're linked to the achievements.

frozened

(11 months ago)

still dunno what it's for though

Luller

(11 months ago)

Kitten workers upgrade give you exponentially more cookies based on milk...or so it says.

frozened

(11 months ago)

yes, but what makes the milk % go up? It's a mystery!!!!

JoeyBeanz

(11 months ago)

getting achievements?

Luller

(11 months ago)

each achievement gives you 2% milk
confirmed by the source code of the game

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

Cool. At least that makes it easier to recover your score if you want the three reset achievements.

Osiris11235

(11 months ago*)

Lowis (11 months ago)

It just updated, and now there's chocolate below my cookie.

current version is 1.028 people, and there's a new stat "Hand-made cookies"

Luller

(11 months ago)

you could warn us cps is much worse...

Serene

(11 months ago)

Yeah, usually now I just launch the game in incognito mode, import my save check what's new before updating.

Blackker

(11 months ago)

I consider purposely using an older bugged version cheating

Luller

(11 months ago)

sCop3SCouT (11 months ago)

I'm speechless O.O

ravenouscarrot (11 months ago)

i have been playing this since i found it here 4 hours ago curse you!!!1

Chirimorin (11 months ago)

Jade, I doubt anyone has them all... I do know them all though ;)

jazzman0 (11 months ago)

So whats the thing about the milk?

Overvalued (11 months ago*)

I wonder from were those Kitten upgrades came, maybe from the Factorys?

Got Kitten Workers and Kitten engineers upgrade so far.

those are the only 2 kittens.
Kittens are unlocked at 25 and 50 achievements unlocked

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

Chirimorin (11 months ago)

All 72 achievements as found in the game code.
Please note that I didn't bother to make it look nice.

thanks, I don't like those that require the save to be reset and the one where you need to cheat... bullshit achievements...

Kiru

(11 months ago)

yeah wtf

Luller

(11 months ago)

The clicking one also requires cheating (autoclicker) as you need to click 130 times in a second.

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

I got that through regular clicking. No autoclicker required, if you're fast enough.

Edit: I'm not sure where you're getting "130 times in a second", it's just two clicks in a small time window. Here's the code:

if (new Date().getTime()-Game.lastClick<1000/250) Game.Win('Uncanny clicker');

Double edit: It's been updated again. New code:

if (new Date().getTime()-Game.lastClick<1000/200) Game.Win('Uncanny clicker');

It seems like it's getting easier, so maybe it was 130 times in a second before?

q00u

(11 months ago*)

Very annoying.

Osiris11235

(11 months ago)

Ouch, so I won't be able to get some of these unless I start over :C

Blackker

(11 months ago)

Personally I started over. Now the devs trolled by removing the achievements so I cheated to get back to approximately where I was before resetting.

Luller

(11 months ago)

JoeyBeanz (11 months ago)

How the hell do you "hack" in some cookies?

I'll figure out if my 'easy' way works for this ;)

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

Chirimorin (11 months ago*)

My easy guide to cheating the cookies achievement without actually cheating too much!

Open the javascript console of your browser (for Chrome: press F12 and then click console, for other browsers: google it :D)
Note your cookies baked (all time) in the stats tab.
Now pick a number higher then that (2 times as much should work)

Add this line into the console:
Game.cookiesEarned -= X; (replace X with your number)
Note how your total earned cookies goes into the negatives, this is intended.

After you get the achievement, insert this into the console
Game.cookiesEarned += X; (Use the exact number you used before)

This returns your cookies earned back to normal, so your end result is completely legit.

Edit: Changed 10 times to 2 times, less likely to fuck up stats then.

thanks! how to get the Uncanny clicker then, I'm not familiar with autoclickers?

Luller

(11 months ago)

I get it by using 2xclick and normal click on my mouse at the same time

BuldogPLay

(11 months ago)

you got 130 clicks per second with this method?

Luller

(11 months ago)

Where is this 130 number coming from?

Edit: Just did Uncanny again in a fresh window. Held the mouse steady with one hand, clicked with the other. 24 clicks total, not that I know which one hit the achievement.

It doesn't need 130 clicks per second. It doesn't need 130 clicks at all.

q00u

(11 months ago*)

from Chirimorin's comment before...why exactly are you asking when you already know the answer?

Luller

(11 months ago*)

The number comes from the code of the game.
However, it is used in a different manner.

Instead of counting the amount of clicks, it checks the delay. If the delay is smaller then 1/130th of a second, you get the achievement.

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

Where are you getting 1/130th of a second?

q00u

(11 months ago)

Once again, the game code.
Since that version, the requirement has been updated to 1/250th of a second. (or 4 ms)

Code:
if (new Date().getTime()-Game.lastClick<1000/250) Game.Win('Uncanny clicker');

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

If you have a Microsoft mouse (I'm sure it's similar for Logitech), go into the driver software, and re-assign a button (perhaps the wheel-click) to a macro of a left-click that auto-repeats.

Osiris11235

(11 months ago*)

okay that did it thanks

Luller

(11 months ago)

It probably doesn't count save editing as hacking. You can just convert the save to plain text (it's encoded with Base64, just remove %21END%21 from the end) and just change a few numbers to add buildings.

EDIT: I tested it and it does give you the achievement.

Desidiosus

(11 months ago*)

It literally checks your current cookies against total cookies.
So anything that achieves that, will work. My method is just no weird stuff and won't fuck up stats

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

TortisVamp (11 months ago)

this shouldn't be addicting

JoeyBeanz (11 months ago)

Anyone know what the hell I am missing? http://i.imgur.com/pWRY9f8.jpg

I think you're missing two upgrades that makes gold cookies appear twice more often. They're linked to the related achievements. You need to click on 10 and 50 golden cookies.

Luller

(11 months ago*)

Actually, the upgrades appear at 7 and 27 golden cookies. (at least when I checked)

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

oh ok...so unrelated to the achievements then

Luller

(11 months ago)

Great... now I actually have to stay on the tab and watch for cookies :(

This is most unsettling

JoeyBeanz

(11 months ago*)

7 and 27 though, not 10 and 50

Luller

(11 months ago)

mercer88 (11 months ago)

"Forgive me..."

...NO!

ChrisITA (11 months ago)

dafuq is milk

A tasty drink from the gods.

thejadefalcon (Support)

(11 months ago)

CHTonRage (11 months ago)

Why is there an achievement for cheating!? This doesn't make sense.

It's optional now, doesn't count towards the achievement total.

JoeyBeanz

(11 months ago)

snowleopard1024 (11 months ago)

Played Cookie Clicker for like ... a week. Solid. Then was over it, so decided to write something awesome. Behold!

Really? I got most of the stuff unlocked in like a day.

Randomacts

(11 months ago)

I had to keep reloading it (laptop, to and from work) so it kept patching. Kept things interesting for a while.

snowleopard1024

(11 months ago)

A script? you just need to modify an attribute to unlock everything, 2 minutes work.

Kappei

(11 months ago)

This was the culmination of all my messing around, making specific script calls to try and break things, or get things a certain way.

snowleopard1024

(11 months ago)

Osiris11235 (11 months ago)

Does anyone know what the achievement after "A world filled with cookies" is? I couldn't find it in the achievement list above.

Let's never bake again.
1,000,000,000 cps.

cams02

(11 months ago)

Wow! That'll be hard unless we get some better CPS stats soon!

Osiris11235

(11 months ago)

godprobe (11 months ago)

dammit... got Uncanny Clicker on a new incognito tab, but can't manage it on my main tab :(
@125,786,244CpS (closed the window for like a day once, and sold everything twice)

Got this on my main tab with a non-cheating "cheat" now... when adding a new cursor, there's a significant delay on my end while it calculates the new values. So... click a few times to add more cursors, then immediately click a bunch of times on the cookie. While the browser processes new values, it'll hopefully be queuing up the new clicks and send them to the game in a small burst once the values catch up.

godprobe

(11 months ago)

CHTonRage (11 months ago)

After some bunch of cookie stat modding, I finally cleared all the achievements and have gotten all the upgrades. Blame me if you want. I don't care what you say.

I'll blame you and your need for validation :)

Kind of being sarcastic/sardonic/kidding...

Osiris11235

(11 months ago)

jatan11t (11 months ago)

Wow, epic update today.

I had already resetted my game so I don't think it's that epic:D

Luller

(11 months ago)

Signorino (11 months ago)

It says I have 50/54 upgrades unlocked, but there aren't anymore available for me to buy. Do I have to do something to get the other ones available? Here is my current list of upgrades.

You need more Cursors, more Time Machines and to catch more golden Cookies (the ones apearing for a short time)

GrimSqueaker

(11 months ago)

Truepicasso (11 months ago)

it doesn't work for me sadly! on chrome nor firefox

Aneszej (11 months ago)

Oh so this is from where Obama and Putin get the cookies! :D

insane7 (11 months ago)

I think its getting more laggy with every update. Not sure if only me.

just deactivate all those stupid effects

Kiru

(11 months ago*)

Kiru (11 months ago*)

(Missed golden cookies : 12)

Can't look at that shit all the time :D

Here's a better achievement listing.

aargh they just had to add that

Luller

(11 months ago)

I just missed another one. XD

Kiru

(11 months ago)

Luller (11 months ago)

anyone know what the last achievement is? The "???"

You mean this one perhaps ? "Let's never bake again - Bake 1,000,000,000 cookies per second."

Kiru

(11 months ago)

No I mean the one named "???". I have 76/72 so I'm missing one.

Luller

(11 months ago)

Just look through that list.
EDIT: I just realized that you have a newer update lol

Kiru

(11 months ago*)

yeah 1.03 is the new one

Luller

(11 months ago)

Cookie-Dunker
"Dunk the cookie"

cams02

(11 months ago)

Chirimorin (11 months ago*)

Updated list of achievements!

This time with better formatting

Last achievement is much easier than you think. Hint: milk stays at the same level from the bottom of the screen when resizing. The cookie does not.

Edit: Appearantly there is a wiki now clicky
It includes a list of the achievements too, so I'll stop making these pastebins with them

I might still throw out hints or maybe even update the wiki when I feel like it

hah that was it lol, thanks!

Luller

(11 months ago*)

Thanks for the tip.

Kiru

(11 months ago)

varil (11 months ago)

Anybody got all 54 upgrades? I am missing 2

you're probably missing the upgrades you get at 7 and 27 golden cookies

Chirimorin

(11 months ago)

cams02 (11 months ago*)

Eventually used cheats to get some achivements.
It'd just take forever to buy 200 cursors and 100 time machines.
Got everything else legit and I'm planning to get 1,000,000,000 cps achivement legit too. But I'll need more updates for that.

The 101th time machine costs 144,976,967,902,966. That alone is about half of what I got legit since the beginning.
Think 100 time machines are just too unrealistic to get it patiently.

Yeah personally I also had this need to finish the achievements. After that I sold the extra cursors and machines and then set my cookie amount to 0.

Luller

(11 months ago)

You both fail! Cheated Cookies taste awful! :P

Kiru

(11 months ago)

Lol I only cheated and reseted to begin with to get the 5 achievements:D

Luller

(11 months ago*)

You're still trying to get them legit?
Good luck! :)

cams02

(11 months ago)

Damn right! Thanks! :)

Kiru

(11 months ago)

Qrkus (11 months ago)

NOOOOOO! COOKIES DIED :<

MrD (11 months ago)

The game just resetted itself. Is this supposed to be happen with the new update?

Luller

(11 months ago)

Did you make any backup saves?

Osiris11235

(11 months ago)

Sadly no. I had no idea, I will need one. *sad lol *

MrD

(11 months ago)

q00u (11 months ago)

Did we hug the server too hard?

Osiris11235 (11 months ago)

Why is my milk raspberry juice?

You milked your berries too hard?

ACorpse

(11 months ago)

That's funny, never happened to me before...

thejadefalcon (Support)

(11 months ago)

ChrisITA (11 months ago)

We killed the server :(

This topic is now closed.