A men enter in a coffee........ splash!

(in italian, a coffee is "the drink" and "the coffee house". :P

bye!

These are going to be terrible, sorry.

I can't swim so I always carry a bar of soap. If I ever fall in I can wash myself ashore.

Did you hear about the guy who was kicked out of the Jedi Order? He just wasn't forceful enough.

Something's been bothering Bob ever since he lost both hands in a work accident but he can't quite put his finger on it.

hurries off stage

What do you call someone without a body and a nose?
Nobody knows

Two tomatoes were walking, one got left behind so the other told him to ketchup.

I'm almost bearly legal so please, try to bear with me, even tho that might be impawsible

puns :
Try tasting the potatoes, you'll like it.
Good thing shes not outside or the baby might think its a tit bit nippley.

Some scienterrific additions:

Says one electron to the other "Why are you so negative ?"
The neutron asked the proton "are you sure ?", to which the proton replied "I'm positive"
Iron Man is a Fe male

Ah, this thread made me remember this stupid joke I heard a long time ago. I hope it does classify as pun:

A man is taking a walk outside on the fields as he is spotting a giant ladder so high he can't see it's end. Curious and brave he decides to climb it. After a while he gets to a cloud where a normal looking woman is laying. She says: "Screw me or climb the ladder to sucess". The man still curious decides to climb the ladder farther and soon after he reaches a second cloud. A good looking woman is laying there repeating the line from before: "Screw me or climb the ladder to sucess." The man thinks shortly but makes a bet for himself and decides to climb the ladder again coming to the next cloud. Here he meets a really beautiful awesome looking woman repeating once again: "Screw me or climb the ladder to sucess." Enthutiastic for what is coming next he decides to climb once again and finally reaches the top. Coming there the ladder behind him is vanishing. Irritated he starts looking around and finally he sees someone, a really fat, sweaty, hairy and ugly man greeting him: "Hello, I'm Cess."

I've just started an electronics store, I tech things seriously. D:

I thought religious mocking or anything relevant to religious is not allowed in the forums ... Why is this thread still open?

One of my favourites: the hissing booth
I'm too tired at this point to try to find/figure out another one.

Ever heard of gravity field? Wonder if they grow gravity there...

Teacher: Johnny, use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Johnny: My sister's sweater has ten buttons, but her cans are so big she can only fascinate.

How doe Nasa organize a party?

They Planet.

Sir Lancelot once had a very bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the nobel prize?

He was out standing in his field!

Buns??

My friend's bakery burned down last night. :(
Now his business is toast.