I wandered around with my flashlight, then got killed by a couple of zombies. Anyone want to tell me stuff that will keep me around longer?

Have a cat for your time

11 years ago*

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Don't get killed by zombies.

11 years ago
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CATS!!! :3

11 years ago
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/delete local content

11 years ago
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I want to try it for a while at least. It was an early birthday gift from a friend.

It was this game because he is unemployed and had nothing else in the inventory. :P

11 years ago
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My advice was good, his advice is better:p Also the CATS!!!:3 guy might be on to something.

11 years ago
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Follow these instructions fully and carefully for max possible enjoyment of the game:

1) Luck out on a decent spawn location.
2) Walk around as slowly and carefully as humanly possible while constantly scanning your surroundings in 360 degree spins.
3) If you see a zombie, stay FAR away, do NOT make any noise, unless you are SURE you can draw it towards you and away from any other potentially nearby zombies.
4) If you manage to lure 1 solitary zombie towards you and isolate it, smack it with your flash-light until it dies. You'll have to keep walking backwards as you swing so the zombie doesn't hit you; the hit detection on this is balls, so good luck not getting hit while still hitting the zombie, and already losing your shit right here. Mind - this takes about half an hour to accomplish.
5) Look around for any indoor location that might house a weapon. There's a bigger chance, though, that you'll get some apples, a can of coke, and maybe a baseball bat (which does almost no more damage than a flash-light), if you're lucky.
6) Wonder around a bit, aimlessly, trying to find more random items, as you slowly try to make your way to a neutral area, using the terrain for cover as best as possible.
7) Walk into an old house, find a basic pistol and some ammo, and feel good about your accomplishment (which took an hour or two, so far).
8) Walk back outside as you're close to a neutral zone and might as well get in it ASAP, and get your head blown off as soon as you pop out to find your bearings by an asshat with a rifle with an 8x scope somewhere off in the distance where you can't even see one pixel of him.
9) Find out your character is dead for a day, unless you pay to insta-res them.
10) Realise what a pathetic, steaming, hot carl of a "game" this is as it's just taken a fresh dump on your chest.
11) Beat your chest and bang your clenched fists on the desk in frustration, trying not to damage your keyboard, and wonder what you're doing with your time.
12) Uninstall this garbage, and try to recover from your wasted evening and high levels of adrenaline-fueled frustration.
13) Wonder how on earth anyone can enjoy this. Sit there with a dropped jaw in stunned disbelief.

There. An in-depth guide to the rip-off / scam / bore, nay - the terror, that is War Z.

11 years ago
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Follow these instructions fully and carefully for max possible enjoyment of the game:

1) Do not install the game
2) Play something else

11 years ago
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Let me just say one word and hope you get my drift:

Wargames

11 years ago
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The only winning move is not to play. ;)

11 years ago
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Airland Battles?

11 years ago
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I think you're too young to get the reference. Watch the movie I mentioned (it's a classic), you'll get it, then ;).

11 years ago
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... that makes me feel old. I love that movie!

11 years ago
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Hello, would you like to play a game of Thermonuclear Warfare?

11 years ago
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I'll try the first 7 steps. For now, I'm able to play with my friend and his clan, and one of them springs for a private server. No player killing, just zombies.

Time zones will keep me from playing at the same time as most of them though, so eh.

11 years ago
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Well at least you have a server where you'll be safe from jackasses. Good luck though, on not having your gamer sensibilities and taste befouled. Should you get driven insane by this, come hang out in my main group some time, play some (good) games with us, watch a stream or so ;)

11 years ago
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Also, thank you for that cat site. Sheer genius!!

11 years ago
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Yeah, its damn great. Have another.

11 years ago
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HAHAHAHHAHAHA IT'S AS IF THE KITTEHS ARE DESTINY'S CHILD SINGING :D

11 years ago
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PERFECTION

EDIT: I mean

PURRRFECTION

same link
11 years ago
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+1 To you for the awesome guide! You should upload this to Steam Community Guides and GameFAQs :P

11 years ago
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They couldn't handle the truth.

11 years ago
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who else kept thinking he said "flesh-light" lmao...was it just me?

11 years ago
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Then the game, might be a little more entertaining.

11 years ago
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Funny, it looks similar to DayZ guide...

11 years ago
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xD

11 years ago
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That was almost as good as gaben

11 years ago
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One ] too many

11 years ago
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Thank you for all the cat's. it means a lot

11 years ago
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I have just heard such bad things about war z.

11 years ago
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See my comment.

11 years ago
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Well any game COULD be fun lol. I just think games should be fun more often then not.

11 years ago
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"than"

11 years ago
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Thank god a local grammar Nazi was here to save the day.

11 years ago
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Because a small correction with no hint of sarcasm or insult meant to genuinely inform and better the person you're replying to must mean you're a condescending jackass deserving of the moniker "grammar nazi" along with a snarky tone, right?

Also, to be precise, it's more of a usage problem than a grammar issue.

11 years ago
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Boy oh boy thanks mister

11 years ago
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You can stop acting like a douche now, you know.

11 years ago
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That is being a douche? Are you new to the internet or something? :P

11 years ago
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.. Oh piss off. You're acting snarky, sarcastic and facetious. Internet or not, if you said that out loud and in person, anyone listening would think you'd be acting like a douche. Period. All this "oh buy it's the internet bro, relax bro" bullshit really needs to stop. Communication is communication.

You felt insulted by my correction, shoved the role of "condescending jerk" into my shoes, then acted like a sarcastic twerp.

11 years ago
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Oh please :P lighten up kid. I wasn't even mad that you corrected me XD Do you need a hug?

11 years ago
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And yes it is a blatant rip-off but I so is the dead linger in a way. Just in a less douchey and money grabby way :P

11 years ago
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Do not shoot the zombies, shoot the humans.. yes.. do that.

11 years ago
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yes, here's the only tip you'll need: don't install it.

11 years ago
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Oh god... what have you done... My life is now lost to the infinite number of gif cats.... -

11 years ago
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Brother.. Is that you? I see your upper lip is still as hairless as the day we were born.

11 years ago
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Brother... how do you know I am your brother? I could be your sister, and perhaps that's the reason I look physically immature to be a man. Have you ever thought about that, brother? HAVE YOU EVER?! I now remember why I left. u.u

11 years ago
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No you just had a hormonal disorder!! That's why mom always loved you more!

11 years ago
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Email steam support and get them to remove it from your account, I heard that helped out a lot of new players.

11 years ago
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this.
also get State of Decay if you are not much into PvP stuff or Arma Operation Arrowhead and play DayZ.

11 years ago
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Play DayZ.

11 years ago
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+999999999999999999

11 years ago
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That cat site is brilliant xD

11 years ago
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11 years ago
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watch this
then uninstall the game

11 years ago
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Video uploader played Fez --> Bad video --> Bad person

11 years ago
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If it's anything like Dayz:

1) Patience, the game is slow, you need to gather resources and plan every single step

2) Play with friends, alone you're dead.

3) Get used to the fact that IT'S HARD.

4)You're not saving the world, you're saving your ass, sometimes just not starving is a huuuge accomplishment ;)

In the end it's a lot of fun, but you need to play it in the right way, forget BF4 or COD :D

11 years ago
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1) Bullshit if you know where to go

2) Bullshit if you know how to play

3) Partially bullshit

4) Bullshit, food isn't scarce

11 years ago
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Mmmm, your ability to express yourself seems a little bit limited...

1)BS, this game is slower than the average, saying the opposite is a monumental BS (slow != bad)

2-3) Your internet penis is -huge-.

4)That was an example to convey the notion that in this game you're not an hero, you're a survivor, and that's what you're trying to do, survive, but I guess you were already on the BS train and couldn't stop...

11 years ago
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The BS train sounds like fun at least. The thought also gave me flashbacks of a series of games I once played, and a rather unique bus within those games.

11 years ago
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Which series? Now I'm curious!

I haven't played WarZ so I don't know if it's anything like Dayz, which I find pretty funny, it require more practice\patience than the average game, but it can be really rewarding, you're really a survivor, not a (serious) Sam, just a regular guy trying to save his ass.

This explain really well the feeling that permeate it

If WarZ is anything like this, you should definitely spent some time playing it!

11 years ago
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Warz Sadlly is not, DayZ is better, way better.

11 years ago
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A series of H-games called X-Change.

I would not recommend looking up the bus.

11 years ago
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i cant help but imagine this is something like the helpful bus

MIGHT be considered nsfw... not really...

11 years ago
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The main character turns into a female after a machine built by Chisato explodes during an experiment.

Japan, where people change sex through explosion!

11 years ago
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I have played DayZ, the "learn how to play this game" way, not the "lol lets play and fail everytime because fuck learning effect" - way

but then again I forget who I am to disagree with someone who has played the game/mod excessively..
In be4 shitstorm:
You might have played the game using external programs that don't require the knowdlege on how to isntall mods for Arma, or you might have played it simply without Steam, all the facts I have though are that you haven't played Arma much.

Because "your ability to" ACCEPT someone elses ability is as terrible as mine, let me explain more:
1) Patience: Playing more aggressive thus more fast can lead to more results. Sprinting into the locations that hold military weapons as a fresh spawn is pretty useful, because zombies walk slower in buildings and you can escape the firehouse using the ladder outside. Waiting or having patience may lead to the same result, but with the danger of being spotted by other players, as a fresh spawn being spotted ain't much of a problem, many don't shoot fresh spawns and smart people that have gear usually stay clear of the spawn area anyway.

2) Alone works just as good, it is more fun with friends, but finding friendlies is still a thing that is possible, helping fresh spawns works, but just saying friendly when seeing someone works very often as well!.
If you stay out of dangerous areas you have no trouble being alone, plus you are just 1 so the chances of you being spotted are smaller than if you were in a big group. Staying out of trouble, checking sniper locations, observing target area a little (no contradiction to 1) works pretty good, even when alonee.

3) WHile it might be a crule game, playing Arma more and getting used to a real balistics engine works just fine in getting to understand the way the game works, compared to Battlefeel or Crap of Duty. While it might seem hard at first, after getting used to the game it gets much easier. Knowing your way around probability of ambushes/position of shooters/tactical placement/movement of your group or yourself/moving to cover etc. is pretty useful, thus military expertise or even playing paintball/softair help a lot.

4) Food isn't scarce at all, the fact that it was an example doesn't make it right.
"YOU ARE A HAMSTER" is still wrong, even if I say it is an example. You can find tons of food insupermarkets or off dead zombies, if you are a fresh spawn grabbing an alice pack and filling your bag works fine, once you have the tools and the water bottles you dont even have to go into the cities to find food/water anymore, and since animals give you a shit ton of meat and water has an infinite supply at wells or lakes, I don't see how food or water can be scarce.

11 years ago
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Yep, I use DayZ Commander to launch DayZ, and 9 times out of 10 steam doesn't recognize it or simply recognize something else (never launched Arrowhead one time in my life).
It's nice to see that you're able to explain yourself better than with BS * 4, but I think you're still not getting my point, that wasn't a Dayz's review, that was some simple advice to Delta on how to play WarZ.

0) DayZ is good, really good, not great (too many bugs), but a really fun game, nothing I wrote said the opposite.

1)Sprinting != Planning, what you wrote here:
Sprinting into the locations that hold military weapons as a fresh spawn is pretty useful, because zombies walk slower in buildings and you can escape the firehouse using the ladder outside.
It's planning.

2)Like always (even more for a newbie...don't hate me Delta) it's easier to play with friendguildgroup.
Sure, when you're an expert you can play alone, but don't forget I was talking to Delta, AKA
I wandered around with my flashlight, then got killed by a couple of zombies.

3) While it might seem hard at first, after getting used to the game it gets much easier...

I'm pretty sure this is exactly how it work with hard games, they're hard in the beginning and get easier the more you learn about them.

4)Change "food" with something you like, the meaning it's clear.

Got to go, going to respond tomorrow

11 years ago
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Since both my and your last response were not retarded I petition to let this discussion rest

11 years ago
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Petition approved.

11 years ago
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Did you even read his first sentence?

"If it's anything like Dayz:"

Relax your cock.

11 years ago
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How is my answer not appropriate if I think his idea of DayZ is not correct?

11 years ago
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1.Don't get killed by zombies.
2.do not believe anyone

11 years ago
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^

11 years ago
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^

11 years ago
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Aha, I've read so many horrible things about this developer, fortunately nobody's gifted me a copy or I'd feel obligated to play it. Good luck!

Thank you for the cat thing, all I have is a whatever this is. :)

11 years ago
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All I can say is, don't enter the cities, unless you have some equipment. Wander around is the little places first until you find stuff and the last part, don't trust whatever human, unless it's a friend.

I have tried to trust many people, but always died by them.

11 years ago
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Don't play. Simple as that. Your HD will thank you for the free space.

11 years ago
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Flashlight wrecks people, everyone will shoot on sight, there is NO friendlys in this game

11 years ago
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Thanks for the cat.

11 years ago
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I cant believe people still want to play this game after all that bullshit, dude seriouslly, make a favor to yourself stay away form this crap. There are some features that they stated as being in the game build that wasnt implemented until now, things like vehicles, servers with 150 players, stronghold servers and the list goes on so they lied about most stuff the game had, they should be removed from steam forever. Or maybe removed from this world xD

11 years ago
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See my comment.

11 years ago
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Is there vehicles now?

11 years ago
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???

11 years ago
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Just uninstall, as people should be paying you to play this game.

11 years ago
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This is the best advice.

11 years ago
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As someone who preordered it, I can only say don't play it, it will only bring frustration.

11 years ago
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my deepest condolences

11 years ago
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Closed 11 years ago by DeltaBladeX.