(1/22/2022) Alright, I won't be checking the messages here anymore. Thank you all so much for the uplifting and kind words you've shared with me and candid advice. I really appreciate it! I hope maybe you guys can use this thread as a place to talk about moving forward in your lives, whatever that means to you. I wish you all well! thank you for the 8 years of games, threads and discussions, and community posts! Good bye everyone!

Since my post's blowing up, i'm putting these here for some people who want a frank, candid, brutal talk about life.

Clean, facts-based, rated E for everyone informational: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXeJANDKwDc

Grim, filthy, crude, rated R for Adults version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H285s4HYv3c

There's a lot to criticize about the lather, but I think it's important to use it for what it's worth. It's very raw, and raw things aren't meant to be pretty to look at.
I recommend the former, but I recognize the lather can be useful for some people. It's a great wake-up call video

I know nobody really knows me or anything, but i'm leaving SG.

Over the past year of my life i've been finally taking the time to seriously look myself in the face and ask myself what I want from life, what I want to do with my life.
It's so incredibly easy to just keep exchanging time for comfort when you're young, because at that point in life you're rich with the stuff.

But i'm nearing 30 and like, I recognize I have not only nothing to show for it, but all my years of self-pitying and wishing and wanting but inaction and indecision to actually try to carve anything worth a damn out in this life worth experiencing has left me ten years down the track that I minds as well have not even bothered existing.

I'm doing a major restructuring of my life and letting go of the past and trying to figure out what I want to actually achieve and get out of life.

Money and fancy tvs, nice cars, expensive clothes, has never been a motivator for me in life, i'm much more of a person who lives for the experiences I share with people I care about.
It's all super confusing for me and i'm not sure where to start, but I know I need to start, and so start I have been doing.

I have so much pointless excess in my life, from video games, to books and graphic novels, worthless plastic figures and all this stupid junk I surround myself with that adds nothing to my life but be a vain attempt to fill a hole i've been neglecting to meaningfully fill within myself for years.

So in all that excess, i've been getting rid of a TON of my belongings over the past months, and videogames has been up and coming on that chopping block for awhile. It started with deleting my fanatical account, cutting my wishlist from a massive 300+ games to a cool 33 (trying to make it lower!), and now i'm deleting my humble bundle account and leaving here as well. After this i'm gonna go through my library and delete a s-ton of games that I don't think would be meaningful to me and interesting uses of my hobby time.

So, this is farewell guys. I've been frequenting this website ever since I was a teenager in college, but it's time I open a new chapter in my life and find something worth doing this thing called life for.
Nothing scares me more than the fact of how much time we all waste every single day, and I want to find a life that's more interesting and meaningful to me than the endless rat race and grind that is modern work culture. I get to everyone it's just some fairytale dream, and I know it's not going to be as cracked up as movies and media portray a alternative life style to be and i'm still going to have to work just as hard for it. But still I just think there has to be a life out there that's more worth it than the crap i'm doing right now, because I just can't face myself and the grave of living a passive empty life like I have.

I wish you well everyone! Here's some GA's for the road!

https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/iQYOe/rad
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/iVH9M/brothers-a-tale-of-two-sons

3 months ago*

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Sorry to see you go but I wish you all the best on your journey to self discovery and fullfilment.

Money and fancy tvs, nice cars, expensive clothes, has never been a motivator for me in life, i'm much more of a person who lives for the experiences I share with people I care about.

Looks like you got a good start right there :)

I have way too much junk myself and it's not easy to let go of things and of the past. Sounds like you're doing well so keep going.

I hope you find the meaning you are looking for and that you enjoy the many experiences that await you down the road.

3 months ago*
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Thank you! I'm incredibly scared and I have absolutely no idea wtf i'm doing! But I just want to find answers, and find something better than my life up to this point.

3 months ago
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Don't be scared. You're listening to the inner voice that says "get off your ass and do something instead of watching life pass you by", it's a great thing. You'll find your way.

Be good to yourself and if you're struggling to know where to start, try being of service to others, it can be a satisfying and meaningful way to fill idle times while you think of what you're going to do next.

3 months ago
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Yee. Thank you! I really appreciate your kind words : )

3 months ago
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Good luck.

I know the feeling, and i am even older then you.
Life isn't about material (says he with 10000+ games, thus perhaps where it goes wrong), it's about love, first of all yourself, then perhaps a partner and kids.

3 months ago
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nods

3 months ago
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You should look into tiny houses, it's a house but just alot smaller.
A normal house is 350000!! euro. on average these days here, a tiny house is 40-60000 euro, alot more affordable, i wouldn't mind one myself, but downside is i am 193cm, i'd bump my head everywhere. I would need a big tiny house. :p

3 months ago*
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I hope you find what you are looking for. All the best to you.

3 months ago
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Well, you know what, that was encouraging.
I think you can be proud about yourself making this step.

Best of luck on you endevour!

And since you encouraged me i'm gonna do the same.

Take care you all!

3 months ago
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I went out for my first run today! And it totally sucked! But i'm super glad I did it! I'm really looking forward to when my body starts feeling more limber and riper as I do it more : )

Definitely hang in there and try not to focus on all the stuff beyond your current goals. Your goal for that day is all that matters, focus on achieving it and don't get caught up in all the nuance and confusion of what's beyond your goals.

Also remember that some days of inactivity and even not achieving your goals are a part of the flow, what matters is you swinging back into it after days like that. Don't beat yourself up! It's not going to all go smoothly : )

3 months ago
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That's some golden advice all around, it doesn't matter how little you did, all that matters is you did something. I used to put off running and general exercise for a really long time, until I found out that even doing small little things improves your health a lot, it's totally not necessary to become a dedicated gym nut to achieve good health.

And some days of inactivity is not only part of the flow, but also necessary. If you set your goals to be something that involves doing an activity every day, not only will you get burned out quickly, but it'll lead to that trap where one missed day makes you heavily demotivated to continue until suddenly that one missed day turns into months.

Take breaks, do it whenever you feel like, but be honest with yourself and don't let the breaks extend too long. Set your goals low, like doing something for just five or ten minutes or so, anything that at least gets you started, and then you just continue from there

3 months ago
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Tbh, when I got the advice that "health isn't that complicated, you just need to pick up things and put them down, and run certain distances and stay away from certain types of food and you'll be good to go." Changed my entire perspective on the matter. Especially the "You just need to pick things up and put them down." part That's just such a incredibly plain and factual break down of the issue.

Also I think the goal setting part is important, right now i'm pulling myself out of a wicked funk and i'm terrified of going back there, it's just so goddamn easy to fall into a slump and stay there. It asks nothing of you except that you lay in bed all day. Incredibly intoxicating and easy of a routine to get into.

I'm still new to this all, so i'm sure the stresses of how to deal and work with all of this will come and go. But hanging on and staying on is all that's important to me right now.

3 months ago
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Meditate daily

3 months ago
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Good luck with everything. Big changes can be hard, hope everything will turn out good for you.

3 months ago
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Thank you! Me too! I'm sure it'll be rough here and there, but ultimately I hope what I actually want in life falls into it finally.

3 months ago
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3 months ago
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Having grown up in an Eastern Orthodox church when I was young, it's interesting hearing a mix of Gregorian Chant and Pop instruments lol.

3 months ago
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Just be honest with yourself, and may you find strenght to follow your dream. Godspeed =)

3 months ago
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Good luck and I hope you manage to keep that strong will and achieve what you want. To be honest I'm a bit jealous, I came around the same realization but when I tried to do something about it it crashed and burned something fierce, and I'm still recovering from it almost 10 years later. Let's hope you fare better.

3 months ago
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nods If you don't mind me asking, what happened? I don't want to pretend it'll be all sunshine and rainbows, I know life can get pretty damn bad if i'm not cautious and aware of things. Hence why i'm asking

3 months ago
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Breakup turning into depression combined with a pretty grim outlook on life basically. I don't want to ruin your motivation, I think what you're trying to do is admirable and probably the right thing. I wish you all the best :)

3 months ago
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Honestly, it's ironic you say that.

I used to be in a toxic relationship with someone I loved so much I wanted to marry. But I was a total bag of garbage and was incredibly poisonous.
We broke up some years ago and we still talk, but i'm constantly living in the shadow of who I used to be during that relationship.
I've made great strides to change who I am for years, and major changes came about in the past 2 years.

And I just, there's so much bad stuff that happened to me in life, bad stuff that I did, and bad stuff that I saw. I carried them with me everywhere.

And one day I just, they said something and that was it for me. Told them that i'm not living in the shadow of who I used to be anymore. If they want to keep seeing me that way, that's ok. But i'm not going to be around someone who makes me feel like i'm still the demon I was when we were dating. And then just, a whole cascade happened.

Of just, accepting me, who I am RIGHT NOW. I am not the person who went through so much abuse when I was a kid, the person who was homeless a couple of times, the person who ruined relationships with people who meant the most to me in life.
Those things DID happen, but they are gone, in the dust of the past. And much like wounds that heal, the scars are there, but the wound isn't. They no longer define who I am in this moment, I define that, and I decide who I want to be.

And it just, changed everything for me. Closing the chapter on those years from 11 to now. And trying to be here, in this moment. Doing what I can to keep the people I find who fall into my life near.

I know your situation is complicated and has a lot of reasons for the struggle you're currently experiencing.

But for me, it helps to just remember it's the past now. There is nothing I can do about it or change it, and constantly ruminating on that fact will cost me the present and even the future.
Take your time, find the help you need if you still need it. But remember that you are who you are now, and you can redefine and change that. Don't forfeit the opportunities of the present for the remembrance of the past. Life keeps flowing, and you must too.

3 months ago
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just want to say i really admire that you recognize behavior that was detrimental and have worked to change it. not everyone has it in them to do that.

3 months ago
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I just like. I know for me in the beginning, what started it all was just. Watching a friend who was all smiles and happy around me; became that I could see the fear in their face. The sadness and pain I bring them. The stress I bring into their life. That sucked, a lot.

Ever since that day I have been working to be a better person. It's been like, I think 6 years now, maybe 7. It's been hard, and i've lost pretty much every relationship that meant something to me.

I'm happy for where I am, I just wish I didn't lose everything in the process. That's the hardest part of it all for me.

3 months ago
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I still don't know "where" or "who" I am right now, even less "where" or "who" I want to be in the future but at least I managed to leave that relationship behind, even though it took years. There are still a lot of things, related or not, that hold me back but at least I've managed to let go of that. Now if those opportunities you mentioned could be a bit more frequent and obvious, it would be nice :x

3 months ago
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"Now if those opportunities you mentioned could be a bit more frequent and obvious, it would be nice :x"

I feel you on that ; ~ ;

Also nods to the rest of your comment

3 months ago
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I hope things are looking better for you now, and maybe some day in the future you can try again but with smaller steps, playing it safe and all that.

I don't think there's anything wrong with failing, or trying again, or taking your time and doing it later. Every missed step is an opportunity to learn and grow, and every painful moment is a medal of proof that you can handle whatever life throws at you. As long as you've got air going through your lungs, it's not too late.

I hope I don't sound too cheesy or like it's some meaningless generic motivational words, I really do mean it all, and I sincerely wish you all the best in your life and your goals ❤️

3 months ago
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+1

As someone who's taken a lot of L's in life, I'm trying to tell myself and remind myself of this. Nothing's worse than just stopping and robbing yourself of something better that you deserve.

3 months ago
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Don't worry, I think at least some things are better now than they were then. You're not the first to tell me this and I definitely agree, it's just that those steps I'm taking feel like baby steps and sometimes they even feel like backsteps altogether. Nonetheless I thank you for your kind words :)

3 months ago
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i hear that; i've crashed out too from putting effort into being more ambitious about life. there's nothing wrong with taking it easy if you're able to.

3 months ago
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Good luck on your journey through this next stage of life! Continue to work on areas of your life where you find contentment and fulfillment. A change of pace sometimes necessary, especially when things become too repetitive. I wish you the best, and thank you for being a part of the community while you were here!

3 months ago
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nods thank you! I hope all the games I gave to people get played, my only worry XD

I worry about the will and drive fading and not super sure what to do about it when it happens, i'm assuming you just stay focused on a goal and force yourself to get up and keep moving towards it anyways. Remembering why you're doing it in the first place.

3 months ago
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I have to say from experience that sometimes life events hit you, and sometimes you will want to lose hope. When that happens, I allow myself to have 2-3 days at most to come to terms with the event, and then determine what next steps are. If it's in my control, I can work to re-align goals to ensure they are still feasible. Adaptability is very important in goal setting, as being too rigid can make things come crumbling down without a backup or alternate route.

If the event is not in my control, then why worry? Taking time to cope is important, but don't let things you cannot control weigh you down. Again, adapt if necessary, but don't stagnate for more than the time it takes to devise an alternate plan and deal with the mental health effects of the event.

Keep moving forward as you say, and continue to keep that reason along with the goal. The What and the Why :)

3 months ago
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Honestly thanks for saying this. I'll keep this comment with me. It sounds important to remember.

3 months ago
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Wrote this long message to tell you how I'm the same and I should do something before I hit 24 but couldn't post it so yea ........

Imma throw some things out Good luck

3 months ago
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Even so, I still appreciate the thought. Just, whatever you do, remember that whenever you're in comfort, you're still spending something.

The money in the wallet of time feels rich at the start, but not only do you find that you will have less and less of it to spend each year, but that a realization that you can be mugged or have time stolen from your wallet at any moment. Make use of the time while you still have it, please.
It's really easy to feel like you're entitled to living deep into the years of life, but you could die next week, or in 2 years, you never know.

So whatever you spend that time, make sure it's worth it to you, if it's not. You gotta go grab that thing you want and appreciate it for all it's worth.

You can do it. Don't let the weight and pressure this fact bog you down, fight on and ignore it, push it out of the way and get your times worth!

3 months ago
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Best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

View attached image.
View attached image.
3 months ago
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Exactly what this is XD I figured if I said i'm having a quarter life crisis straight out, everyone would roll their eyes and shame me and be all elitist and superior. Even though it's a genuine extremely important problem that shouldn't be brushed off or shamed.

Also thank you for the links!

3 months ago
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If quarter life crisis starts at 25, then I wonder what the hell I went through at 17 XD

3 months ago
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The terms "midlife crisis" and "quarter life crisis" exist because they are real situations that we face in our life. There are similarities between the two, and I'm not claiming to be an expert in any way, but we each may experience them at different times in our life (and in different intensities). My only word of advice is to be cautious which belongings you get rid of. If something brings you joy, it may be worth keeping (it is okay to keep some stuff). Other than that, I will leave you with this quote I enjoy about growth:

"The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

3 months ago
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Yeah! i've been carefully discerning that between the things I throw out. And being honest with myself about the items in question. So far I have a pretty good collection of stuff I actually want to keep around, and whenever I look at the stuff i'm getting rid of, I generally feel nothing, except the occasional feeling of FOMO. "Yeah but... wait if I DO like it?"

I came to realization that we can't enjoy and see everything on earth. It sucks that there's just so much amazing stuff out there. Especially with video games, god damn they just crank out banger after banger these days.

But I can't play every single video game, and as much as it hurts, I gotta let some go and appreciate the ones I do have the time to invest in and enjoy.

So that knowledge has helped the process too, that yeah. I DO enjoy some of these things i'm getting rid of, but I also have a lot of other things I enjoy and as much as I don't want to, I gotta let it go and that's ok.

But thanks for the quote! I constantly doubt myself and worry but I just want to make a real decision for once, and feel something. Be something. Something more than what i've been this past decade.

3 months ago
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off topic but 35 is considered midlife crisis age? yikes

3 months ago
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I hadn't noticed that when I shared that picture, but yea that would be a bit young for "midlife" crisis. The main purpose of that 2nd image is the "It's Never Too Late"

According to wikipedia page for quarter life crisis: "a quarter-life crisis is a crisis 'involving anxiety over the direction and quality of one's life' which is most commonly experienced in a period ranging from a person's early twenties up to their mid-thirties[1][2] (although a quarter-life crisis can begin as early as 18)."

3 months ago
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This post is kind of eye-opening, I think about the passage of time and the things I do, and I try to evaluate what parts of it is wasted and what parts of it bring value to my life. Many times a year I purge my Youtube to unsubscribe from channels that waste my time and just don't provide much value to my life, and I try to assess if some games I play really bring me fulfillment or if they take up too much of my free time.

And you made me realize, that SteamGifts does take up a lot of my time, about an hour a day or sometimes two. I'm pretty new here and haven't really gotten much done, it was really exciting at first and fun to make giveaways and join them, but my last batch of giveaways didn't really give me that happy feeling and joining giveaways doesn't bring me excitement anymore either.

So perhaps I should quit while I'm ahead so to speak. Thank you for making your post, it gave me pretty early clarity, I'm sure I would've made this conclusion sooner or later, but sooner is always better than later. I might still visit occasionally like once or twice a year, maybe I'll make SteamGifts a December-only activity for myself. We'll see.

I wish you best of luck in your quest to improve your lifestyle, I hope you can pull through. It's never too late ❤️

3 months ago
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Tbh I wish I could uninstall youtube from my phone. I hate that it's just permanently on there. It would help me stop staying awake for so long at night.

Also I think it's important to acknowledge that the joy it brought you in the beginning is valid. But if it doesn't anymore, you're allowed to leave and stop. Not everything has to bring joy for a long time, and it's ok to enjoy things for only a short time!
But yeah if you feel like being here isn't for you anymore, it's ok to disengage and find something else you find more worth your time! Humans are flexible like that!

Also thank you! I really appreciate this! I keep stressing about it but it's much better than having this realization in my mid-thirties or further. Still got a bunch of time to spend more meaningfully! That's what's important!

3 months ago
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sayonara

3 months ago
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Good luck, with finding clarity and peace of soul. =)

3 months ago
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I hope you have people to accompany you in your journey. Nothing is harder than to go through life on your own. All the best.

3 months ago
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Yeah, I keep wishing I could find people to accompany me for my journey, but it just hasn't been working out.
So this april actually, i'm gonna go backpack out west on my bike and just. Go with the flow of whatever i'm feeling that day, hoping I kind find something out there that gives me a sign of where I should go or what I should do. I'm very excited for it and definitely hope I don't die :'D
Don't really know much about survival or how to take care of myself while out on the road. Might suck! But hey, at least i'm doing and feeling something.

3 months ago
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You should really learn a little about survival and make sure you have the proper equipment. Maybe take some smaller trips before the big one so you know what you are getting into. You don't want to be another Chris McCandless!

3 months ago
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Aye, I was planning to only go for a month, still a long time. But my idea is two weeks out, two weeks back. So I don't get TOO deep into it, but also can stay in the safety of human society.

3 months ago
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I'm jealous. I'll do the same once I figure out who I want to be when I grow up...
Wait.. I'm 34 xD
Shieeeeeet.

3 months ago
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Good luck on the next chapter of your life!
I'm younger than you, but I'll soon buy my first flat and live independently. That also makes me introspect and rethink what I need for my life, even if for now I'm staying on Steamgifts!

3 months ago
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Hope you find your peace mate! Take care :)

3 months ago
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so long and thanks for all the fishes

3 months ago
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That's relateable. Good luck, I wish you all the best.🤗

3 months ago
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We never met and I'm quite new here, but I get why you're feeling like this. I really hope that what you're pursuing brings you the happiness you seek.

Stay focused on your path and when things get difficult remember why you even started.

3 months ago
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If you have considered that doing certain actions has created a dependency in you and wasting your time and not focusing on more important things, perhaps parking them for a while will make you get your life back on track, but I think neither video games, nor reading, nor indulging in certain whims from time to time it is bad, rather the opposite, I think the bad thing is not to stop and make purchases impulsively, if you manage to control that aspect and focus on studying something you love to do, some hobby that you have stopped doing and maybe you can take it up again by studying to specialize in something you enjoy doing and maybe it can be related to those hobbies that you want to put aside and get your life back on track., good luck! 🙌

3 months ago
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Since you know what you want, this is all it matters!
Have a nice journey.

But don't delete stuff from your Steam library, just put them in a collection named like e.g "I do not want to play".
You never know if you want to play something in the future!

3 months ago
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A folder called "Shite Games" LOL! =)

3 months ago
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He didn't specify they are shit. He just said he would not enjoy them now.

3 months ago
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I disagree. Removing is better than possible %1 chance of playing in the future. I am definitely glad I did remove.

3 months ago
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Well, it would be a shame for the money spent.

3 months ago
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It's already a shame whether you remove or not if you have 1k games. You won't be able to play all if you don't devote your life to Steam. OP won't play those games for sure.

3 months ago
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I most definitely will not. Also I have so many games, the sheer volume of them stresses me out and they feel more like a responsibility than a enjoyable pasttime option when I look at them. Really looking forward to getting rid of them.

3 months ago
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It will be even hard to delete them, I removed around 100 games and it was enough to make me sick.

3 months ago
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I actually plan to do that at some point. I have some trash games on my account that deserve to meet the bin. lol.

I did organise my library into categories though, so I can just choose the genres I want to play instead of scrolling through hundreds and ending up playing nothing.

3 months ago
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At this point using categories is better probably. Removing 1000 games can take ages.

3 months ago
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Keep me updated about your journey!

3 months ago
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