Was this my fault? Am I too dumb? Please help me!

You may have come off as rude, because you didn't say it as you expected her to say it. Maybe if you said, "I don't feel comfortable right now, but maybe another time" that would've helped a bit. I also think that you dodged a bullet. If she can't handle that you didn't want to send a selfie, maybe she would've tried to get you to do other things that you didn't want to do.

Also, is this IRL or online? I can't tell. If it's IRL, there's no reason for her to need pictures of you - as she sees you when she's with you. Otherwise, having an online relationship without knowing what the other person looks like is a huge difference.

Assuming this isn't a troll thread, I'd say you did nothing wrong.
You don't own anything to anyone, especially if you're uncomfortable with doing something. Based on very little of what I know about her, she seems a bit emotionally unstable for her age.

I don't think there's a good or bad, or a right or wrong here. Personally, I see relationships not as a black and white thing, but rather something much more complex than that. I think refusing to send a picture to your significant other (or anyone in a semi-serious to serious relationship) is a bit strange, but I don't think it warrants getting angry/breaking up. In the end, it just happens that the kind of person she wants and the kind of person you want don't match.

You've "dodged" a bullet in the sense that you managed to learn that she isn't the kind of person you should have a relationship with before things got too serious, and you should take that with satisfaction, not disappointment. You have every right to decide what you will and won't do, but so does she, even if that means breaking up with you over something so petty as that.

Right now, you're probably anxious about losing the company of someone you've grown to care about, but once that fades away you'll realize you did nothing wrong, and rather you've saved yourself from getting hurt later on if you had went against your will to keep this relationship going.

Refusing to send a picture seems weird to me, BUT you're comfortable with what you're comfortable, and not with what you're not, and that's totally fine. If she's that extreme about not accepting what you're uncomfortable with, that's a MUCH bigger problem, and you're better off without her.

Well there's a lot of fakers and weirdos out there on the great wide web so maybe she was simply cautious. Her reaction was definitely excessive but bad experiences tend to make people paranoid and excessive online.

This is where you send the dick pic.

I think it's a bit of an overreaction for her to cut all contact just cause you didn't want to send her a selfie, I'd understand if she had never seen you before, but since you had already met up with her I think it's kinda weird of her...

I'd say don't worry about it! Life's too short :)

Is it "weird" that you didn't want to send a picture? Probably. Is it "weird" that she had such a nuclear reaction to that? Probably.

But it is entirely your right to refuse that request if you are not comfortable with it.

In hindsight that request for selfie turned into an ultimatum. So you were forced to choose between one bad thing (taking a selfie) over another bad thing (ending this relationship). And that is a bad position to be in, and a bad position for her to put you in.

In a relationship you will do some things that you don't like, but you'll do them because it makes the other person happy. You'll know when you found the "right" person for you because you will want to do those things for them, you won't feel like you are being forced against your will. Making them happy will make you happy. And they should be doing similar selfless acts for you. You have to give to get. You must be a good friend to have a good friend.

I hate having my picture taken and don't like to do video chat/phone calls ... so I get that. Sometimes we have to do things that make us uncomfortable if we want to gain XP in the world. But it is up to you to decide when you are ready to do those things.

Anyway, I'll vote for "you probably dodged a bullet" but I know it still hurts when you had allowed yourself some hope for that relationship.

You did nothing wrong, and her reaction was ridiculous, really. To me it sounds as if she was trying to scare you to convince you to do it, but who knows, and anyway, people who act like this are never worth your time. If it hadn't been this it would have been any other little thing at some point in the future. Better to know sooner than later. Move on and take care.

if that's all it took for her to delete you she was not that invested from the start.

I usually hate having my picture taken; anyone in my life who knows me and cares about me won't ask me to take a picture more than once, just to test the waters. If she's that adamant about taking a picture with you that she'd break up with you over it, then she's either up to something sketchy or she's crazier than I am; if you ask me, you've dodged a bullet. I'm no stranger to abusive relationships, and this isn't so much of a red flag is it is one of those alarms you hear in movies or games when the enemy base is about to self destruct.

Thanks, also, for the giveaway.

If she can't get past something that insignificant then she's obviously too immature to handle a relationship anyway. "Dodged a bullet" is a good way of putting it.

So naturally, I told her "No, I won't comply, I don't feel good doing that".

Yeah that's weird. beep beep boop does not comply.

But where did you "get to know" her? Some app?
It's like 500 to 1 on any app, if she's even moderately attractive there's hundreds of other guys messaging her.

I'm trying to get an idea of the full situation.

Is this someone you've met before face to face or is this something online where she hasn't seen you?

"No, I won't comply, I don't feel good doing that"

Maybe the girl thought that you was being rude. Some girl might take that as "I won't do because I don't like you".
As other ppl stated here, you need to choose a better way of speaking something like that.

You can try to send a message like "Sorry to being rude, I wasn't comfortable and didn't knew how to say it right". Test this, for science. ;]

If she could easily give you up then she isn't worth it. Especially over something stupid like that. But in the future, maybe explain why you don't like taking pictures so they know where you are coming from. And how old is she? Pretty immature.

I once heard a story where this guy met a girl on a club and after having a good time she asked him "when do I get to know your parents?".
I don´t know... but I feel like she was desperate in some way, maybe she wanted to brag about you with someone (ex boyfriend, etc). Or maybe she wanted to make some Voodoo (Kappa). Just like most of here said, she may also have some issues. In any case you skipped lots of problems on a future relation.

The "no I won´t comply" makes me imagine a hostage situation for some reason. Use better words next time.

When you care about someone, you like them for who they are.

When you're an egocentric, manipulative, social vampire, however, you like people for what you can get out of them before they've turned into a dried husk.

Avoiding entanglement with the latter type of person s an excellent choice. No regrets. Building a relationship takes time, however, so both parties have to be willing to invest the time and energy required. From your description, it sounds like neither of you have made such a commitment . Consider this all a learning experience.

Taking pictures of yourself for other people is setting up for bad times later. I heard of women using those pictures to compare to other people in a sort of trading up boyfriend competition.

No. I'd walk away from that girl without batting an eye.

srry dont understand abrev >< what means (IF IT'S TL;DR TO YOU; GA IS AT THE BOTTOM) ?

if is relationship search website or app is because she was wanting to know how u looks for see if she will like u .-. because is hard u find someone who dont matter how u looks....

if u already showed u for her, maybe she was wanting a photo to show friends or something else .-. maybe could be a bad girl also wanting for show people to stole u @.@ or was wanting prove she could catch someone .-. like a competition XD

bro if u cant step outside ur comfort zone u aint gonna get anywhere.

if she asked for a selfie i assume you met on an app/chatroom

u shouldve swallowed ur dumass pride and sent a pic, no one cares how you look, no one is gonna keep it, at worst it was gonna yield the same result and she wouldve left you, whats ur fear? an insult? gonna scar ur confidence? a simple ur not my type and no?

u think this is her first rodeo? she probably tired looking for that someone for whatever it is. Do you know how much attention and hundrends of messages a girl can get online. It was that easy for her and she gave u a chance, and u had a good run. u failed at last boss bro...dont save scum...just level up, take this as experience and do the right thing next time.

this aint hard, we all had these encounters with many branching results, u gonna let this haunt you?? u gonna keep thinking about this moment everytime you talk to another girl? just go ahead and keep doin u bro.keep trying but dont be a dummass u feel me, i know u do

wtf is wrong with her?
If you don't feel comfortable, then yeah you shouldn't send her a picture. I wouldn't send mine to a random stranger I've barely met.