Starship captains do everything on impulse.

,

thanks <3

Joke

If there will ever be a Minecraft movie, then it would be a blockbuster.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

Thanks :D !

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

Here's a joke: me.

Thanks!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

uh i know good jokes only in my language, and i don't know english too much, i cant translate :(

My friend, an intern, was given $50 to get the chairman of the bank some lunch. Told to get himself something, he bought a shirt.

Thanks :)

iam not funny

Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"

Doctor: "Nine..."

(Funny joke) :p

https://twitter.com/NoMansSky/status/764165793940516864

ty

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while 
applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two 
police officers and a psychiatrist.

Thank you.

thanks for the chance

Thanks a lot! :D

My salary.