Female Steamgifters - I need your help

To start off, the answers to your questions will probably change on not only the personality of the girl/woman, but also her age, at least from my perspective. I'm in college now (21), and I know that my answers would be slightly different had I answered these questions 5+ years ago. Just something to keep in mind, when transitioning from a mid-teen to a young adult character~

What are common qualities that girls/women are attracted to in men?

Even though I know that I'm not ready to have kids of my own anytime soon, if I see guys that have that "paternal" quality (good with kids, patience, disciplinary, etc.), it makes my heart melt. It's easy to test it out if either you or the guy has young siblings, nieces/nephews, or if a friend has recently had a child. Even casually asking the opinion of what the guy thinks about a child throwing a tantrum in the aisle over at any store is usually enough to get a feel on where he stands. Not sure if it's common though, as I know females who can't stand kids, so they probably wouldn't be looking for this trait. Common qualities that most females do seem to like though (based on my experience from talking with my friends over the years) would be those such as confidence, a sense of humour and romantic.

How do girls think about guys that they like/are attracted to/are dating?

Not sure if I understand this question, as it's phrased somewhat awkwardly, but I'm assuming you're asking what do girls think about in regards to the guy she likes. In my case, I like to daydream a future with the guy I'm with, assuming that it's a serious relationship. Not necessarily envisioning the wedding, as is commonly portrayed in movies, but more so living together and day-to-day activities. Typical things you may expect in the future, such as visiting the relatives, traditions, children, pets, vacations, or even common household tasks, such as cooking together. If it's early in the stages of dating, I'm thinking about if I'm being treated correctly, if he's serious about wanting a relationship or if he's just looking to hookup, and if he makes me happy.

What physical features do girls notice the most on a guy?

I may be generalizing here, but I think (and in my case as well) most girls notice either the eyes or the smile first.

How would you describe romance from a female perspective?

From my experience, males tend to view romance as either a sexual thing or just gifting chocolates/flowers/jewellery. To me, personally, romance are those small expressions of love that should already be present in most relationships. A compliment, communication, showing interest in what I have to say, doing small favours that help me out without being asked, cuddling, or even trusting me enough to open up about their feelings/fears/dreams. Regarding the last point, I was surprised as to how many guys try to act all tough and keep their emotions bottled up inside. There's also been situations regarding my friends' relationships where the guy opens up more to his friends about his problems while his girlfriend has no clue about any of his concerns.

Now I'm glad I took up painting - worrying about what females are thinking is stressful enough in real life without bringing it into a hobby. Bumping in the hope that someone else will help you though, and thank you for the giveaways!

ugh i don't really understand romance from a female perspective either. :<
have a bump?

Women are pepole. Just write them as people and you're fine. Don't start trying to write "female" cause that is where you'll F it up.

Yes, what AvidWriter said!

I'm the 'other kind' of a female -- you know the type that doesn't talk about feeling all the time (or at all), doesn't see having kids as a raison d'etre, doesn't know how to do a girly flirt -- and I'm often annoyed by female characters written as female first and foremost. (Hint: the second word is more important.)

I tried to answer the op questions but ugh... Like pornography, I know it when I see it?

xMisu's answer was nice as well. ^^

I'll try to come up with something concrete if I can

yes, yes, all those questions are purely for writing purposes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

On sincere feelings.

As an older female, I can assure you that women are looking for exactly the same things men are - a loving, trustworthy, truthful, caring partner that generally puts their needs in front of their own - or carefully considers how their actions might help or harm their partner. Open communication, love of similar things like travel or food or hiking or entertainment, on the same page about having and raising kids, spending (or not spending) money, ownership of a house, and heck, even where to live. The more you have in common, the easier it's going to be - especially when life throws curveballs and it always does.

When two people meet, the process of discovering who the other person is plus all those various things listed above begins - so if you're writing about relationships and exclude this process.. well anyway, you get the point. And while teenagers might not be asking each other about having kids someday - this process is exactly the same - similar tastes in music, clothes, communication styles yada...

As to what do women notice - that depends on the person but I'd agree with xMisiu - do I like their eyes, are they communicating something that I can trust and like? And do they have a sense of humor and do I enjoy their laugh? Personally, I don't have strong "looks" preferences - it's all about who they are as a person but I know women that are extremely picky (though I suspect their relationships either don't last or aren't as happy as they could be but hey, I have been known to be wrong :-p).

Romance - hmmmm, for years my hubby left me short, funny but usually "terrible" poems by the coffee maker if I wasn't awake when he left. I am not about flowers and candy - though certainly gifts are appreciated but those horribly rhymed, hysterically funny poems always made me feel loved. And it's those moments when he takes my hand when we're walking after years of being together. Sure, grand gestures for box birthdays are wonderful but it's those little, daily things that truly constitute true romance. As to my teen years, it was that perfect stuffed animal or a book by an author I loved or some silly thing the guy made in art class- give your characters something quirky that helps describe their personality.

Lastly, does he take personal responsibility and can he admit when he's wrong. If I don't get that about a guy right off the bat, I can pretty much tell that it isn't going to work in the long run no matter how attracted I am.

I remember when I was in high school drama club, we were at competition and watching the other schools' plays before we went onstage. In between plays, a guy from the school that was about to go on walked across the stage, and my friend sitting next to me said, in this dreamy tone of voice, "Oh my god. His muscles. He's a redhead. He's so hot..."

And I didn't really get it, because he wasn't my type at all. Lots of muscles = turn-off. The reactions of the other girls (and one of the guys) ranged from "SAME" to "meh."

Women aren't some sort of monolith that have the exact same feelings and tastes in partners...I could tell you what I look for in a man, but that wouldn't accomplish anything besides giving you way more info about myself than I'm comfortable with, because I and all of my female friends have different tastes. You can ask 50 different women what they look for in a man and you'll get at least 50 different answers (including at least one "sorry, I'm a lesbian, can't help you").

For example, a lot of people say that women look for men who would be good fathers, but I hate dealing with kids--whether someone would be a good parent is irrelevant to me, since I don't want kids. Even if someone was really nice and supportive and funny and fit the rest of my desires, if they insisted on having children in the future...we wouldn't be a good fit. I could definitely date someone who didn't fit my physical "type" if they were otherwise perfect for me, but not someone who fit my physical type and didn't agree with me on anything at all.

Also, not all women are straight. I used to live in a town known as the local lesbian mecca and I can say that their tastes are as varied as everyone else's. One of my high school friends likes curvy, slightly androgynous girls, a girl in my college D&D club likes masculine girls, one of my friends goes ♥♥ over tall feminine girls--I could go on. I'm bi and my taste in men is different from my taste in women, even though that makes no sense whatsoever. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ And I have a friend who isn't interested in romantic relationships at all and wants to stay single forever.

My advice to you is not to get hung up over What Women Want, because there is no single Ideal Man (or Ideal Woman or other Ideal Partner) that all women are looking for. If you're still having trouble, you can take what other women are saying about their tastes and mix and match them, making sure all your characters are unique.

Thanks for the giveaways, btw.

When I look for a guy, I'm looking for someone with similar ideas and viewpoints. For example, sarcastic and dry humor is amusing. As for the guy I'm currently with, I think about him often, what he is doing, how his day is going, when he is coming home, if he actually stopped at the stop signs, etc... Some physical features that I tend to notice more and look for is how soft they look, because I enjoy cuddling, and rocks don't feel comfy. I also look for good hygiene, and fluffy hair, as well as a decent style of dressing. Describing romance from a female perspective? Not entirely sure. For me, it's not flowers, sunshine and rainbows. Romance is liking being around them and not wanting to make an excuse to leave; wanting to hang out just a little more,wanting to go places with them.
I also ask a series of questions to filter out the majority, of course. ;P

EDIT: Also, can I read what your writing? A title would be appreciated.
EDIT: Forgot to mention that I have absolutely no idea how other women think. Once met a girl who had a love hate relationship with her self-proclaimed boyfriend, and he didn't care about her or what she thought. Everyone is weird.

It's fiction. You're supposed to tell the characters how to behave. Isn't it more fun that way? If your characters in the story do something it should be because of how they are and how you made them, not because someone on a forum told you how girls in general (or themselves) act.

I'm not saying asking advice it's a BAD idea, I'm just saying you don't need it.

Bump and meow. You might like to read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

For me, looks do matter to a degree, but if you had an amazing personality and were a genuinely great guy I wouldn't care if you were the ugliest person in the world. I have a type of course, everyone does, but what ultimately matters is how well I get along with the person and not what they look like. What I mostly would look for would be someone with a similar personality and similar ideals to mine.

Romance from my perspective, at this point in my life, would suck. I don't have the time or energy for someone that I would have to constantly pay attention to. I'm sure later in life I would have a different view on dating but right now it's the last thing I want.

Well, here are a couple of links and two images that could help in identifying gender differences. However, I should note that these are heavily stereotypical and (naturally) conditioned by society, meaning that a girl may have traits that are nothing like the ones described in these; it all depends on a vast number of factors, culture being one of them (for example, if you leave the United States, which is a mostly homogenous country throughout, - at least in terms of culture and social relationships - and end up in the context of a matriarchal society, girls will display very different psychological and social characteristics; not saying all of them would be different, of course). More on this here.
As such, I think you should portray girls by taking into account their own backstories and circumstances in the plot, as opposed to relying on stereotypical attributes. It's all about using your imagination, identifying and interpreting human traits. Sure, you know how you, as a male, would act, but you have to look at other people, not just at yourself. None of this is black and white; we're the same species, which means there's plenty of overlapping - a man does not have 100% "male" characteristics and a woman does not have 100% "female" characteristics. Of course, there are obvious biological constraints to each sex (also consider gender dysphoria, which has to do with this as well), but it's also true that social traits are developed throughout life and not born with you.
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I noticed I went on a bit of a rant here and didn't answer any of your questions... I think a trip to Yahoo Answers or a similar site would definitely give you a good insight into romance-specific issues, especially from the demographic you mentioned. Be wary that it mostly doesn't showcase any of what I just told you, but "western society"-specific situations treated with the usual teenage naïveté instead, lol. Popular surveys concerning this topic in particular could also help; here's an example. Hopefully, this helped you out a bit!

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Not all women are the same. Instead of thinking in terms of 'X' is female so she MUST like insertthinghere, I suggest thinking more along the lines of:

Alright you want a character that likes A (muscular, skinny, intelligent types etc), who happens to be female. If said character had B personality traits (moody, energetic etc etc) , C interests (gardening, gambling etc etc) and D external/internal factors (home life, job etc), how would that affect the romance you're planning?

Ok pal, just wondering... If this is actually a post to find out what women like and is more of a "not asking for me it's for a friend" kinda deal, I wrote a very long-winded response to cheer you up. I'm an EXTREMELY PC kinda guy, I don't even buy into the whole cisgender binary and I feel like love can come in many forms. For me personally, I want one of two things out of life; a wife and a kid, or my own clone. Damn government won't let me do the latter, so I'm pretty much just hoping that I still have enough time at 38 to convince someone they could do a whole lot worse.

As I said, I'm very PC, but being PC kind of got thrown out the window when I thought this was more about a young man finding love than a writing project, and I swear I did not have a drop of alcohol when I wrote any of these words. Just read and please reserve judgment as my interest was only to look out for a brother who might be hurting right now. Again I could be way off base and I usually am..

Okay,,, here is my suportive Bronswer (bro answer, but you knew that you're smart)

romance from a female perspective --- a supportive response that never was

-What are common qualities that girls/women are attracted to in men?
what I wish was the answer=kindness, is he good with kids, is he funny, is he good in bed,is he fun to be around
what I think is the real answer=money, how much does he have now, how much will he have in the future

Okay have we gotten offensive yet? Well it gets worse.

-How do girls think about guys that they like/are attracted to/are dating?
what I wish=would he be the coolest father in the world or what?
reality=how much money, nay how much life essence can i squeeze from this man before he either dies or curls up into a ball and wants nothing more to do with the world

Sorry kid I'm just looking out for you for when this rosy cheery crap people tell you doesn't work out and you end up falling flat on your face because you were an honest decent person in a world full of dog excrement.

-What physical features do girls notice the most on a guy?
I wish= The body, the face, the smile, the er um, you know,
Reality-Here my opinion on what I'd like them to notice is dead on, and I don't really have any problems with the way I look like I did when I was a teenager. If you're young and worried about what they think is attractive, just keep in mind that all those cool guys from HS are gonna end up bald with huge beer guts, it never fails. This would make things awesome but see all of this is superseded by one thing, the size of your wallet. Again these are only my opinions. Listen to someone else who wants to hand you rose colored glasses first, then come back here to have a whiskey to be consoled later. None for me I don't drink anymore, but a good bender is better than doing something stupid over a girl not liking you. No woman is ever worth that. No dude is worth that either if you feel like experimenting in college. Go ahead, everyone else did.

-How would you describe romance from a female perspective?
-What I wish? = does he make life exciting, is he or would he be the coolest father in the universe? (I have no children just for the record, as I have yet to meet approval for one with the board) Is he unlike every person I've ever met? Does he drive me wild?
Her answering yes to those questions is what I would like to think romance, REAL romance is from a female perspective.
-Reality = Who knows, maybe love isn't real and we are all just animals that kill and eat and take from each other. Would be nice IF SOMEONE KEEPING SCORE would occasionally poke his head out of the clouds to get decent people together, it's just that he does it so rarely. He might do it for you, just don't hold your breath, and good luck out there kiddo!!!

Some people have teamed up with other writers to write the other characters eg Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman (Dragonlance), Barb & JC Hendee (Saga of the Noble Dead) and many, many songwriters.

If you really want a character to think and act like someone else, what better way than to let somebody else write them?

Thanks! I really am a writer and really am asking for my stated purpose.

I'm happily married and have a daughter so I don't actually need this info for any other reason

Game

bump

What are common qualities that girls/women are attracted to in men?

"Common" qualities are things like sense of humor, physical attractiveness, and personality. However those are the broad general explanations. What kind of sense of humor, what kind of physical aspects, what kind of personality? That is what's going to vary from person to person. And what's going to vary over time.
So if you're story takes place over the course of several years with a character going from teen the young adult (and possibly from different romantic partners), consider evolving her sense of humor. Going from a preference for physical/gross out comedy to wry British humor, for example. The same applies to physical aspects and personality. And just to be complicated about it, what a woman is attracted to can vary over time depending on if she is with someone or not. She may grow to be attracted to some aspect of her boyfriend she didn't initially like (or grow to be un-attracted to something she initially liked) Or if she remains single she may start to look for different traits as she grows older simply because she matures from a focus on physical to a focus more on personality as she sees the relationships of her friends around her.

How do girls think about guys that they like/are attracted to/are dating?

While girls do think about the guys they like in a romantic sense, don't forget they also have libidos. So sure, they can think about a candle lit dinner on the beach, but don't be afraid of having a female character have a sexual fantasy, even if they are just a teen (I mean, come on, that's when almost everybody's libido is going crazy anyway ;) )

What physical features do girls notice the most on a guy?

Initially, since it's what they're most likely to see, any feature on the face. As they get to know the guy, they may notice other features depending on what level of undress they have seen each other in. However, even keeping everybody's cloths on, a girl may notice "little things" like the length of his fingers when they hold hands, or the broadness of his shoulders when he hugs her. And then there are physical features a girl may notice in a negative way too. That mole on his arm, that scar on his stomach, that stupid haircut he gets just when his hair is at the length she likes. And once again, depending on the level of intimacy, depth, and maturity of the relationship a girl can change her mind either way about any physical features she notices.

How would you describe romance from a female perspective?

From what I remember as a teenager, romance was grand gestures. The guy putting in a lot of effort to make one special moment. Also a lot of cheese dialogue and sweet words. Essentially, romance was focused around me. Make me happy. Fulfill my fantasies. Etc... However, now, as a happily married adult, I don't need to be "swept off my feet." I don't need those grand gestures. Those sweet words still go a long way ;) but I can do without the cheese dialogue. Just taking my hand from across the table while we wait for our food at a restaurant fills me with love. Putting his arm around me as we walk through the mall. Unexpectedly bring home flowers. That's what feels "romantic" to me now. I think as a teen/young adult some of these same gestures can go under appreciated or even flat out unrecognized as gestures of love.

Hope this helps. Just remember what others have said, women are just people, so everyone is different. This is simply my perspective. Don't be afraid to try writing gender neutral roles and then assign male and female to them.

Hope you don't mind me as a non-female throwing in my two cents:

You have to create characters that you find interesting and likeable, then put them together and see if the chemistry works. If you write to suit other's needs then it f*cked already, it will be a cardboard cutout. Everything depends on the universe as a whole, what fits in and what doesn't. Sometimes a "freak" who'se preferences go against the majority's is alot more interesting.
I'm also a sort of a hobby writer, and when I'm stuck I usually check this out, helps more than you'd first think.

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You walk the dark path.