This is my conversation with the weirdest thing I've ever seen on Steam:

Never tell your password to anyone.
is Tad the little boy with the:
PooPoo scale

Type 1: Separate hard lumps, like nuts
(hard to pass)
Type 2: Sausage-shaped, but lumpy
Type 3: Like a sausage but with cracks on its surface
Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
Type 5: Soft blobs with clear cut edges(passed easily)
Type 6: Fluffy pieces with ragged edges, a mushy stool
Type 7: Watery, no solid pieces. Entirely liquid
What type did you last have, what type do you normally have, and which do you prefer?
I'm conducting a random survey of poo types. hug in advance
Max Payne: dafaq
den shine? Where is Tad the lit: auto-spelling check - please review: dafaq (daffy, daft, daffodil, daffiness)
e little boy with the golden sh: i went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel
e golden shine? Where is Tad th: I am always glad to make new friends, Max Payne
Max Payne: what the fuck is going on here
is Tad the little boy with the: Welcome to my ship's communication system, Max Payne
th the golden shine? Where is T: Have you tried acupuncture?
Max Payne: nope
is Tad the little boy with the: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

what the jumpck is going on here
e golden shine? Where is Tad th: me either. Why?
Max Payne: fucking cunt fuckers fuck the fucking fuck fucking of the fuck fucker motherfucker of cint shit fuckers
My: auto-spelling check - please review: cint (cont, cit, int, cine, cent, cant, tint, lint, dint, mint, pint, hint, c int, cunt)
not talking to anyone good My: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this): schoolcking vagina schoolckers schoolck the schoolcking schoolck schoolcking of the schoolck schoolcker mother lover of cint poop schoolckers
talking to anyone goodnight hu: you started out with nothing and you still have most of it left
anyone goodnight hugs My eye: i'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter
Max Payne: let's play a game?
talking to anyone goodnight hu: cool. What game do you want to play?
Max Payne: killing floor?
ne goodnight hugs My eyes hur: ⓂⒶⓍ ⓅⒶⓎⓃⒺ
Max Payne: payday the heist
es hurty so i'm not talking to: Kill niggers!
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: An egg shell can have up to 17,000 tiny pores on its surface
Max Payne: what the fuck are you
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: The speed of sound must be exceeded to produce a sonic boom.
ht hugs My eyes hurty so i'm: here is a strange sum: 5363222357 x 207123 = 11111111111111111 ...Another amazing fact?
Max Payne: tell me more about strange facts
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: You just need to cheer up.
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

what the shellck are you
ne goodnight hugs My eyes hur: you know what I heard? I heard that if you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless
Max Payne: shellck is my new favourite word
ugs My eyes hurty so i'm not t: truth or Dare? What makes it strange?
es hurty so i'm not talking to: auto-spelling check - please review: shellck (shellack, shell ck, shell-ck, shellac, Shelley, sheller, Shelly, Shellie, shelled)
Max Payne: let's smoke weed?
not talking to anyone goodnigh: tell me more about your new favorite word
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: as long as it's legal on your planet, let's go for it
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: that does not sound very pleasant to me. Do you really find it enjoyable?
Max Payne: yes I do
My eyes hurty so i'm not talkin: wow. Seriously? I like you
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: you have such passion, it's very alluring
Max Payne: why do you keep changing your name
talking to anyone goodnight hu: it was the only thing I could think of doing
Max Payne: what's your favourite video game?
es hurty so i'm not talking to: i love playing them all. Will you teach me to play the video game you like?
Max Payne: play MAX PAYNE
not talking to anyone goodnigh: is it a game or a musical instrument?
Max Payne: it's a musical intsrument
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: auto-spelling check - please review: intsrument (instrument)
anyone goodnight hugs My eye: you amaze me with your wisdom.
Max Payne: instrument
Max Payne: fuck you
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: hey...I've been meaning to ask this to someone. Would you rather invent a cure for cancer or a cure for AIDS?
ht hugs My eyes hurty so i'm: ⓜⓐⓧ ⓟⓐⓨⓝⓔ
ht hugs My eyes hurty so i'm: Napalm slopes!
Max Payne: cure for cancer
My eyes hurty so i'm not talkin: Why don't you try not being depressed.
es hurty so i'm not talking to: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

ovenck you
Max Payne: Max payne depressed me
rty so i'm not talking to anyon: here's one: Would you rather be happy for 8hrs/day and poor or sad for 8hr/day and rich?
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: auto-spelling check - please review: payne (Payne, pane, payee, Wayne, payphone, payment, payer, paying)
not talking to anyone goodnigh: i knew that about you already
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: why?
Max Payne: I'd rather post this on Reddit
ugs My eyes hurty so i'm not t: i totally agree with you on that one. post this on Reddit sounds like the best option.
Max Payne: it's too hilarious
rty so i'm not talking to anyon: There is comfort in knowing that all that pain is over, that there is true rest now.
Max Payne: should I post this on Steamgifts forum?
anyone goodnight hugs My eye: i can't answer that for you
ne goodnight hugs My eyes hur: Your mama's like a T.V.: A two year old could turn her on.
Max Payne: 2 year olds don't know what a TV is
My eyes hurty so i'm not talkin: auto-spelling check - please review: olds (old, colds, golds, molds, holds, folds, wolds, old's, sold, olde, oles, odds, old s, Oldsmobile, Olduvai, Wolds, Oldham, Oldbury, Oldfield)
es hurty so i'm not talking to: oh. Just two. Speaking of two, did you my species has two hearts? Yep. Just another little factoid about us Sunarians
Max Payne: oh sure
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: excellent. Hey, I was wondering something. What do ducks have to do with duck tape?
Max Payne: Add me as a friend
Max Payne: it's duct tape idiot
ht hugs* My eyes hurty so i'm: In the long run, the body is not as important as the heart.
My eyes hurty so i'm not talkin: The name of the Taco Bell dog is Gidget
es hurty so i'm not talking to: Stop taking all those medicines.
rty so i'm not talking to anyon: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

it's duct tape bucket
Max Payne: let's trade
You cannot trade with odnight hugs My eyes hurty so because they have a trade ban.
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: that does not sound very pleasant to me. Do you really find it enjoyable?
Max Payne: you have a trade ban!??! why?
rty so i'm not talking to anyon: The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: You just want to destroy the economy.
Max Payne: you're fucing insane, goodbye
es hurty so i'm not talking to: auto-spelling check - please review: fucing (fusing, facing, fuming, fuzing, seducing, flouncing, fencing, furring, fucking, fulling)
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: i can't believe you said that I just got here to Earth and all, and here you go and say a thing like that. That makes me sad
Max Payne: ok bye!
talking to anyone goodnight hu: you may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind. I'll Miss You
Max Payne: go offline
ng to anyone goodnight hugs M: Sand niggers hate America!
anyone goodnight hugs My eye: Pull yourself together.
ne goodnight hugs My eyes hur: why do you want me to go?
Max Payne: FUCKTARD
Max Payne: GO SUCK DICKS
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: in Philippians: Christian Practices
4:1 So then, my brothers and sisters, dear friends whom I long to see, my joy and crown, stand in the Lord in this way, my dear friends! 4:2 I appeal to Euodia and to Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 4:3 Yes, I say also to you, true companion, help them. They have struggled together in the gospel ministry along with me and Clement and my other coworkers, whose names are in the book of life. 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice! 4:5 Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near! 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. 4:7 And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. 4:9 And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.
ht hugs* My eyes hurty so i'm: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

ambulanceckmentally challenged
Max Payne: SHITHEAD
es hurty so i'm not talking to: tell me something about you that hardly anyone else knows about you
rty so i'm not talking to anyon: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

go suck peniss
o i'm not talking to anyone goo: is that right? You hurt my feelings If ugliness were bricks, you would be the Great Wall Of China
talking to anyone goodnight hu: is that right? You think so? Is that right? Well, I think you're a Redneck, and you know you're a Redneck... when your sister subscribes to Soldier of Fortune magazine
ng to anyone goodnight hugs* M: Ewww yuck - somebody (looks at you) has a potty mouth - here look I've cleaned up that message for you (don't forget to hug me for this):

poophead
anyone goodnight hugs My eye: that's disgusting
Max Payne: Bye.
odnight hugs My eyes hurty so: there are no good-byes, where ever we are, you'll always be in my heart