<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

© some guy at bash org

My penis

sorry im no good at jokes at all :(:(

i read, i thought, i failed

A Russian is informing the KGB. “I think my neighbors have suspicious contact with the West.”

KGB agent: “How can you tell?”

Russian: “I hear them eating every night!”

{MeTaL}Alucard: Imbecile
ArchiBoT: You have self-awareness.

Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?

Boy: *dials 911
Boy: Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, what is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning!

Thank you Madegirl! =)

View attached image.