Your momma is sooooo fat, she doesn't have stretch marks, she has harpoon scars!
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Filthy humor if you like it, make sure to see all of this filthy shit
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Something I played on loop laughing at for 30 minutes yesterday because I'm not really sane
And an attempt at a joke that is as little negative as I can think of
So, I heard Michelle was cheating on Barack with an Asian man. I guess she went from wang to Wang.
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If math wants its problems solved, it should go see a therapist not me. It's so bad it's funny.
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I'm not Jewish but you beat me to it.
+1 for buckets and wells and a jam unlike any other.
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This is one of my favorite Borat scenes, but the all-time best, in my opinion, is this one:
"I like disco dance, sunbathe, rape, and shoot dog."
"Do you mean Snoop Dog?"
"No. Shoot dog."
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Dang, and I actually like Paranautical Activity. :(
Here's a funny thing that happened while I was mountain biking.
I normally wear glasses while biking, but this time I decided not to. The glasses slide down often, so I usually push them back up with my index and middle finger at the lenses. Put that picture in your head.
So I feel some sweat sliding down my nose, and I instinctively push my glasses up. Except I'm not wearing glasses this time and I poke both of my wide open eyes with my dirty fingers. >.> Thankfully didn't fall off my bike, there were lots of thorned bushes around me.
Related
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http://i.giflike.com/UCFsupi.gif this perfectly represents the phases of me being drunk.
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Just about the funniest shows I've seen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjMsswUuwTA
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I have, for you lovely forum dwellers, 3 giveaways! ....... And because I am in a great mood, and feeling like a laugh or two, these giveaways all have something special in common:
VERY poor Steam ratings, according to Enhanced Steam
These are actually the lowest of all the games I have been hoarding for giveaways. Nothing else comes close to these. The closest to these has a 32% positive and then the next one is a 48% positive. These are the bottom of my barrel, that I have saved for just a giveaway of poorly rated games.
ANYWAYS, here is what I want, for any so inclined to give back: a joke, a funny personal story, an amusing troll, a link to a hilarious gif or meme or youtube video, etc. Share! AND sometime this weekend, I will pick 1-5 people that I enjoyed the most, then add you on Steam and give you a game. I have 101 games in key and gift form I am sitting on. Many are bundles, some aren't. If I have something that is on your wishlist, I may give you that. If I have nothing on your wishlist, I will take a look at the sort of things you like and name off some similar games I have. One winner will get a chance at a steam gift of the Viscera Clean-up Pack. AND if someone does REALLY fucking well, I just may go ahead and buy you something, because I have a little spare $$ in my steam wallet right now. Also, feel free to +1 and "up-vote" anyone else's funny if you think it was good enough, because I just might take that into account.
The giveaways are: Over, but I may do one or two more before I wrap things up here for the wkend.
XXXXXXXXX
You may now proceed with the merriment and festivities!!!
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