Today is my bother's birthday.!

Sad no secret giveaway here

I just wanted you people to read my speech, that i am going to say to my brother in front of a lot of people.

"Hey!
I know, we don't much these days.
But then i just wanted you to know that you are everything to me, my brother, my father, my mother and my sister.
You are my world.
If it wasn't because of you, i wouldn't be a changed person.
You made me become a man of honor and respect and hard work.
I Love You Brother.
I wish you a very happy birthday."

Please let me know if any of these to be corrected.

9 years ago

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Only thing I can see is in the second line, you're missing a verb. You don't do what much these days? Hang out? Spend time together? Other than that looks like a nice lil speech :)

9 years ago
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Lol the word is Talk i missed it XD

9 years ago
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"then" at second line seems inappropriate as a connect, I would use "however" as you're going against the fact that you don't talk these days.

9 years ago
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Okay.
"But however, i just wanted you to"
is it looking good now.?

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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in my opinion, it would look better without but and other word. starting with "I just...".

9 years ago
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Thanks for the suggestion

9 years ago
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"f it wasn't because of you, i wouldn't be a changed person."

If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person.

9 years ago
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Please let me know what are you suggesting....i am confused :D

9 years ago
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The first line was yours.
The second line was my improved English version.

9 years ago
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Ohh alright....i will keep that in mind.

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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don't make fun of people asking help

9 years ago
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Thank you so much sir..

9 years ago
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"grammar" fyi

9 years ago
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Grammer? why no Grimer?

View attached image.
9 years ago
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Also talking seriously, "You made me become a man of honor and respect and hard work." too many "and's", the first "and" can be replaced with a coma ","

9 years ago
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Haha i know but i like it that way because of "and" i can take a pause. :)

9 years ago
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Agree with sviat...

instead of the 'and' just pause.. don't say 'and' :)

9 years ago
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hehe alrighty

9 years ago
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Just to combine a bit of suggestions others have offered:

I know we don't talk much these days.
But/however, I wanted you to know that you are everything to me, my brother, my father, my mother and my sister.
You are my world.
If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person.
You taught me the values of honor, respect, and hard work.
I Love You Brother.
I wish you a very happy birthday.

It's a very nice speech. An added thing, the line "If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person" If you are trying to emphasize that you've made positive changes thanks to them, then you could say "I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you".

Anyways, whatever you say, it's obviously coming from the heart, so they'll love it I'm sure!

9 years ago*
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That's pretty good.! :)
I will see to every suggestion :)

9 years ago
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this one is really nice! And yes, everything you say is from the heart. I'm sure your brother will love it.
Also Happy birthday to him!

9 years ago
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Thanks a lot sir.!

9 years ago
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that is very sweet of you. I'm sure your brother will notice the love, more than your grammar :)

9 years ago
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thanks sir..

9 years ago
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Closed 9 years ago by DrT3RR0R.