Hello Steamgifters, Please Help Me With GF Problems

Honestly, we can't say for sure that she's cheating or not because we only know your side of the story. It's highly biased. You could be right but here's another point of view:

Maybe she lost her trust in you because you snooped on her FB. A lot of girls have close guy friends. Just because she's dating you doesn't mean she need to cut off her guy friends. In fact, the way you seem to pressure her into doing so is probably why she's so secretive. When you ask "were you talking to a guy?" she sure as hell does not want to answer truthfully because she feels like you're going to make a big deal about it. And just because you're a couple doesn't mean people shouldn't have privacy. There doesn't need to be anything suspicious for a person to just want conversations to be private. Your snooping tendencies is probably why she feels the need to delete everything. You might take an innocent off-hand remark and turn it into a big deal. You said yourself a relationship is nothing without trust... and you broke that trust first yourself.

Again, I want to stress that it's very hard for anyone on the internet to help you without knowing this girl, or you for that matter, at all. Take what you read on here with a grain of salt.

Hmmmm...

Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that, as you get older and have more experience, dealing with the fairer sex will get easier and easier. This will result in a lot less stress and more happiness, thereby improving the overall quality of your life. The bad news is that it will probably take you a while to get to that point. Exactly how long will depend upon how quickly you learn from your elders who have "already figured it out."

Now, back to your current situation...

1) You and your girlfriend are not married. Because you are not married, there is no formal contract of you two being a "couple." You're only dating. She can see anyone she wants, go out with anyone she wants, sleep with anyone she wants, and it's her choice. (The same applies to you.) If you don't like her choices, don't go out with her. Pick a different girlfriend, one whose behavior is more in line with yours, and date her, instead. If you ever find one whose personality and lifestyle fit yours, marry her and become a couple.

2) A long-term relationship requires three things to be happy: love, trust, and lifestyle compatibility. Love (as opposed to infatuation) requires both knowledge and respect of the other person, and the fact that you two disrespect each other is a bad sign. Trust requires both honesty and a respect for the other person's privacy, so you can see how that's going. As for compatibility, that's what makes people a possible "match," but it means nothing without love and trust. Bottom line: fix the main issues of respect and trust or abandon ship.

3) It is important for you to understand that privacy exists even between married couples. It exists because there is trust, and also because both people understand that they don't need to know everything about the other. Believe me, if there is something your partner wants you to know, he or she will make sure you find out about it. Otherwise, keep your nose out. Half of successful living is leaving alone those matters which do not concern you. (Being able to identify which matters those are comes with experience.) Snooping and spying on your partner and trying to catch them in a lie are indicators of distrust. (See #2.)

There's a lot more going on, here, but I think I've said enough for now.

Maybe for the best it to talk with her about your feelings about this topic, I know that you tried but if you don't tell her how you feel about this it's only going to get worst. Do you know her guy friends? If you do, do you trust them? I think you both need a serious talk about the things that makes both of you uneasy and only when you have that talk you could see if you two will stick together or the things may not work. Hope that you can do the best mate.

buy a new gf

Talk to her about it. A relationship won't last with lack of trust. You don't trust her and she doesn't trust you it seems. Make some time and sit with her one day and tell her. Tell her you knew she lied to you, tell her you don't mind her talking to other guys but that she has to be honest with you and you will do the same. And tell her that neither of you will be happy in the relationship if it continues like this. That's the adult way to do things. It will only work if both of you are mature about it.

Im sure shes cheatin hard

1. Relax before you become controlling.
2. Don't do stupid childish crap to get back at her, get her attention, give her a taste of her own medicine. That's dumb. Be mature.
3. Who cares what her god dam texts say, as long as she isn't chomping some guys meat and is behaving, let her have her privacy. You don't expect to have access to her emails, her hand-posted mail, her bills, etc, do you? o.O. No, then why txt messages.

QUIT BEING NOSEY DUDE. You dun goofed already with Facebook. Stahp it or enjoy your hand.

Clearly, you don't trust each other. If that doesn't/can't change, you might as well break everything off now: it's not going to work out.

Well, I'm pretty against people snooping on my messages unless I let them. Not because I have anything to hide, because I don't, but I find it really invasive (I get just annoyed by people going through my things without asking). In this case not only because it's my privacy, but also the other person's privacy. I mean, if you told me a secret and I let my boyfriend read it afterwards, you wouldn't be happy, would you?

Dating someone doesn't make them my Siamese twin and grants them all the rights in the world and if you're with someone it should be someone you trust. And truthfully, after I found a boyfriend was snooping a lot (and even got into fights with me for really nonsensical things), I stopped trusting him too, and password protected EVERYTHING (we lived together, and before that I'd just leave everything logged on. I didn't mind if he read a thing or two, I understand some times curiosity gets the best of us, but he went all "I'm digging until I get to China" there). I still have nothing to hide, but what he did made him lose his right of having access to that part of my life.

BUT based on what you're saying, she's already lying to you from the start. Of course, there must be a reason for that... Perhaps she's hiding something, or perhaps she's just really insecure and think you won't understand that she has male friends. I doubt "Getting back at her" by doing the same will make things much better though. Doesn't necessarily mean she'll lie about something bigger, but it's not cool and she's breaking your trust every time she does that.. and in a way, manipulating you by making you think you're the bad guy when you try to ask her nicely about it (you are being nice about it, right?).

And you shouldn't get her too used on the 'not talking to girls thing'. From what you say it didn't help, and if she's too insecure she probably won't realize it until it's too late. She needs to trust to you, and she needs to be okay with something like that. Or else you might end up feeling bitter years later when you realized the people you lost because of her. Someone you can't fully trust, and who doesn't seem to trust you either...

But anyway. I've had people blatantly lie to me in the past too, and I chose to trust them because despite the lies being pretty big, I knew they wouldn't like about the things that really mattered. I didn't confront them directly about the lies though, I just tried my best to keep showing them I would understand, didn't care about the things they feared I'd care about, and wouldn't be mad if they eventually came clean. I figured if they were ready they'll talk to me about it. Took 3 or 4 years for that to happen (are you willing to wait that long, perhaps even longer?), and a lot of downhill struggles about their insecurities though. Can't say it was a smooth ride, and the relationships never recovered from it either. Not because of the lies, but because of those insecurities, the same one that caused the lies, because they caused so many other problems that were much worse and did in fact affect how we related to each other. Only when it was too late they realized it was their fears that caused exactly what they feared would happen. Oh, the irony.

Anyway, I'm just an outsider and don't know how much you two like each other and how well things are between you two, so I couldn't possibly give a good advice about it. It's a complicated situation, so in a way I guess you could say I was venting too, sorry about that!
I hope she comes clean eventually. And whatever you decide to do, if it makes you happy and you don't think you'll regret it, it's all fine I guess.

As a girl I can tell you she's is definitely kinda slutty. Sorry to say it but it's how it is. I am talking to my guy friends the way I think it's cool but if she is texting somebody else than you about lingerie... well this girl needs some slap.
OR!
You can do some payback to her. You should show her how it's like to be in your role. Act exactly the same as she does. I think she will definitely break up with you then, because she is ... well she is what she is.
Good luck with all this stuff and if you need some "girl" friend, you can add me. I'll try to help you with your issues.
(Btw, I did not read everything so excuse me if I said something clearly obvious)

Sounds like there are some severe trust issues.

Just leave her to her privacy, she has the right to have her own personal social life. As long as nothing is actually happening, there's nothing wrong with that. If she is talking to male friends, then you should trust her to keep them as "just friends".

As for giving her a taste of her own medicine, that's an immature approach, and nothing good will come of it. Just continue being open about your social life if you prefer being open about it, and let her be closed about it if she wants to.

And you should seriously stop snooping, it's an invasion of privacy, and she's right to not trust you consequentially.

She may be fishing on the shore next to you, but she's still looking for a better spot to fish. She's not going to give up what she has until she knows she's upgrading. She also may be chumming the waters.

"A relationship is nothing without trust."

What trust? You broke it as soon as you "snooped" the first time. Sorry mate, you need to learn to be less invasive.

"she always thinks im gonna leave her for someone else because she was my first. "
her being your first is not a legitimate reason that she thinks youll leave her. There is something else going on their that she is not telling you. (E.g. she has thoughts about leaving you so its natural for her to think that you may do the same. <- just an example). So you need to find out the REAL reason, not some lame excuse she makes up cause talking about it makes her uncomfortable.

"to make her more secure I stopped talking to girls"
NEVER do something this extreme and ridiculous. For 2 reasons:

1. You will resent her in the future. Because this is a huge sacrifice for you, you will naturally expect her to make compromises on her end. However, she still doesn't trust you, so you will be doing this for nothing.
2. She will likely see that you are willing to do extreme things in order to please her. Eventually, the appreciation will wear off and become a typical occurence in your relationship and she'll start expecting you to make other sacrifices for her.

i was like, but then I was like and completely

I agree with all those who mentioned that this is already biased by just being your side of the story. However I am picking up on things on both sides, so I will have to disagree with all those claiming its just your fault or her fault. Honestly relationships have changed and will always continue to. It would be a lie to say that technology hasn't opened the door to trust issues in general with the ability to view, talk to, delete anything you do.

As mentioned before probably (only skimmed over some of the replies, read others) you should probably sit down with her and thoroughly and deeply explain what is going on with your side. How you feel, what causes you to feel that way. Then of course respectively get her side of it as well as be prepared to intercept anything she might have to add outside of the current subject. Then comes at least in my eyes one of the more difficult parts, seeing how you both can compromise on the issue. Something along the lines of maybe she would be able to at least let you know who she is texting, rather than what she is texting, in a sense at least giving you more information than before but still remaining a sense of privacy of the subject matter of the text. And of course as I said it would be compromising as you would be entitled to do the same on your end or rather since I don't know how it effects her on this subject you could apply it towards something you do that bugs her.

If she is not willing to compromise then I would definitely begin to question the relationships probability of pulling through as she either was never willing to to begin with or the chance of such a thing happening was lost with the whole facebook thing. I know its hard and you wish it wasn't so but at this point try to make it work but don't focus on being surprised if the door slams shut either for the better.

Best of luck.

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong,at the worst possible moment. You are fucked.

Dump her.

She's a lying cheat. Time to move on.

First, you're all over her in the first place, a relationship will work if you learn how to trust. Something you already seem to acknowledge.

Second, a girl is allowed to have guy friends. WOA.

Third, she lied? Bad sign.

My advice - talk with her. Good relationship, even love is impossible when you just can't talk with your partner about your feelings. If she's simply good - she'll understand. Ask her about this situation, tell her what you think about it. If you won't build this relationship on trust and truth from the start, it can disappear later. I think that better when you know the truth now and you (with partner) can start fixing this or just find someone else than staying in sick relationship and trying to not see what she's doing. It's like some kind of hard illness, which can be only worse if you won't start the treatment right now.

shes pregnant..... (jke if u hvnt realized, no offence intended?)

Closing since OP cannot respond for a couple days.