From Poland with Love

We in Poland have a little summary why Russian army is the weakest but also the most funny army in the world and why Ukraine is awesome and their soldiers and civilians are GIGACHADs.

If there are any errors in translation please tell me. The list will be updated each day with more stupid things that Russian army do.

If someone is offended we are really rally really not sorry.

1. Russians asks for food from the inhabitants of the occupied country.
2. Turbo-elite Chechens smashed like shit on the field in hours.
3. Gypsies captured the Russian tank.
4. Polish hackers did broadcast disco-polo on Russian TV.
5. The Russians asked the policemen from the police station in Ukraine for fuel. Got arrested.
6. Kiev tracksuits beat up the crew of an armored vehicle and gave it to their army.
7. The Russians drowned the tanks because they had driven onto a wooden bridge.
8. the Russians abandoned tanks and armored vehicles because they ran into the mud.
9. Volodymyr Zelenskyy (President of Ukraine) cannot be evacuated because his balls do not fit thru any door.
10. Russian ship wanted to refuel. The Georgians, like the border guards on Snake Island, told him where he can go and that they can use oars.
11. Ukrainian activists and LGBTQ+ people beat up the Russians and took them prisoner.
12. DICKtin's biggest fan, the leader of the turbo-elite Chechens from no, 2, Kadyrov, demands that Ukraine and it soldiers surrender by February 31st.
13. Radio communication of the Russians disrupted by hackers who played Barka in the electro version just for them.
14. The farmer used the tractor and took a Russian rocket launcher as his air defense. They much have big crows in Ukraine.
15. The Ukrainians, under the pretext of a lost road, asked Russians on the radio to tell them where the Russian vehicles are - of course, they revealed their location and were blown up.
16. Russian armored brigade fought a battle with the monument.
17. Russian saboteur was caught, marking the positions for bombing, his pants were removed and he was firmly attached to the pole with foil. There he waited for the police to arrive.
18. Some Ukrainian Chuck Norris carried a Russian mine he found on the bridge in his hands into the forest to dispose of it, smoldering a pet in his mouth. His pace was measured and heavy, because it is not easy to walk with such large balls.
19. Russians were caught driving an armored car aimlessly around the huts. When asked what they were doing, they replied: we do not want to fight, but we have to burn the fuel.
20. The same gypsies, from point no. 3, put up for sale a catalyst cut out of that tank.
21. The Russian Navy shot down their own plane.
22. Russians soldiers' food rations are only 7 years past due. Yummy!
23. Russian tik-toker is viral again, because she shows in her materials how to drive a Russian vehicle.
24. An elderly Ukrainian woman handed the Russian soldiers sunflower seeds so that they would grow into something nice after they are killed.
25. The president of Belarus, Vladimir's super friend from Russia, explained the plan to attack Ukraine at a turbo-secret briefing for commanders. After that he uploaded the photos to the internet.
26. Before the warm reception of the turbo-elite Chechens, Ukrainian soldiers smeared the ammunition with pig lard. The chances of 72 virgins after death decrease.
27. At the request of Russian armored vehicle operators, Ukrainian railroad workers gave directions. They led them down to a dead end and captured two of the four.
28. A Ukrainian old woman served the invading Russian soldiers a stew, to which she added something from her old good heart that made Russians run fast to toilet. Then she set fire to the toilet door while the Russians argued about the priority of invading the hole in the ground.
29. When the store was plundered by Russian Kiev invasion specialists, they did not know what mandarins were and in the end they did not take them.
30. The Ukrainian anti-corruption office informed that the enemy's valuables and equipment won in battle will not be subject to tax returns. Gypsies and Ukrainian farmers are happy.
31. Battle with the Techno House door. A crushing win for security doors.
32. Ukraine is the world champion in the explosive tank turret throw from a Russian tank. The turret covered a distance of 30 meters.
33. DICKtin claims that there is no war at all and all this is anti-Russian propaganda.
34. The bodies of Russian soldiers who, of course, were not killed, because there was no war (see above), were transported to crematoria in Belarus.
35. DICKtin has so much support that even AI creates pro-Russian journalists so that there is someone left that can speak positively about him.
36. The Russian ruble is so strong that it begins to compete with Żabka's żapps and Stokrotka's petals (loyalty program points in shops).
37. Russians do not open the stock exchange to protect their interests, which is extremely effective. Sberbank, Lukoil, Gazprom lose more than 95% of their value.
38. Russians oligarchs are extremely happy that the whole world is able to track all their flights.
39. Russians still do not understand why peace negotiations are not based on demanding unconditional surrender.
40. Russian soldiers know so much about maps and driving that they collide with each other and create a traffic jam for many kilometers.
41. Russians continue the action of littering the roads of Ukraine with their burnt vehicles.
42. Russians do not understand what happened to their electric cars charging stations and why they display words telling DICKtin where he should go.
43. Russians increase the amount of propaganda on the Internet by 20,000%. The world laughs even harder.
44. Ukrainian soldiers use the newest equipment (NLAW, JAVELIN, STINGER, GROM) to take stunning photos of Russian soldiers and their equipment from the 1980s. Both sides say it is a great explosive success.
45. Ukrainian farmers acquire so much Russian equipment that they may soon threaten numerous regions of the Russian Federation with their military power.
46. Russians created their own SWIFT. It does not work.
47. Russians denies that their military vehicles were put together thanks to glue and duct tape. They also do not confirm that everything that was valuable in them was sold long ago by senior Russian soldiers to earn some extra money.
48. Russian soldiers going to the "exercises" in Ukraine have a problem with avoiding all the burnt vehicles of all other Russian "exercises" before them. Ukrainian farmers are eagerly clearing the roads so that the soldiers and their vehicles can join their colleagues on the sides of the roads.
49. Russians called Ukrainians pigs, so Ukrainians wanted to express their respect to Russia and flooded the Internet with memes, videos and songs about how the pigs were fu**ing Russia.
50. Employees of the Ukrainian road infrastructure decided to help the invaders and corrected road signs. Now every Russian can easily read the direction in which they should go to get to Russia.
51. Gypsies, so far one of the greatest nemesis of Russians in this conflict, again on the attack. This time they decided to stole missiles from Russian soldiers. They were spotted running with Russian rockets on their shoulder.
52. OnlyFans blocked the "content creators" from withdrawing funds in Russia. Some ladies in panic and a sense of hopelessness, because instead of showing their booty, they will show only empty pots.
53. As a result of the hacker attack on the Russian space infrastructure, Russian specialists in the rapid conquests of Ukraine are no longer able to see via satellites how their units are blown up.
54. Anonymous is offering $$$ for each tank donated by Russian soldiers to Ukrainians. The amount of $$$ is about 2 containers rubles so volunteers can show up quickly.
55. The Ministry of Digital Transformation of Ukraine proudly announced that the collection entitled "Send Putin to Jupiter" has raised over $ 2 million. The Internet advises to buy sunglasses in the near future, thanks to which the sun will not blind us from looking at the rocket.
56. A rally of witches who were to curse Russia's enemies was held in Moscow. It seems they have confused the Ukra-Kadabra with Hokus-Cyganus.
57. Russians could not resist the wave of general world mobilization and presented the Ukrainians with more tanks from the latest collection, abandoning them in the field.
58. Putin's friends are real gold. One of them: Alexander Konanykhin gives $ 1,000,000 to talk face to face with DICKtin. Wladimir may not necessarily be present with the rest of the body.
59. Ukrainian village with another subsidy. This time, a brand new anti-aircraft missile launcher, worth $ 25 million, has entered the budget. All, again, thanks to the Russian Fund of Abandoned Military Equipment.
60. Someone is jealous of the Chechens. The elite 1st Panzer Army, known mainly for the annual parade on Red Square in Moscow, was defeated near Kharkiv. Probably the movement of tanks was slowed down by the number of medals pinned to each of the soldiers.
61. A gentleman in a Russian uniform from a popular movie, where he enjoyed the whistle of rockets, suddenly changed his mind and claims that DICKtin is a bastard. His opinion, perhaps, but only perhaps, was influenced by the fact that he was surrounded by not very cheerful gentlemen in Ukrainian uniforms.
62. In the films, the Ukrainians showed the equipment of their invader's backpack. Among the equipment (however) older than the dietary ration are crayons, markers, compasses and rulers. Tip for Russians: since you really say that you are in "training", then make notes on yellow paper. It cannot be copied.
63. Professor Maksim Mironow, a Russian finance specialist and a doctor from the University of Chicago, very scientifically described the state of his country's finances after the sanctions as A GLORIOUS SHITSHOW AND BIG PIŹDZIEC.
64. The great Ukrainian action to transform damaged Russian tanks into toilets has started. Other cities can apply to the program to receive additional toilets from the Russians. The only caveat of the participants is that the toilet are smelling badly like Russians footwraps.
65. Russians decided to strengthen their vehicles with the latest wood-from-forest armor called Putinium Woodinium or DICKinium for short. It is said to be an upgraded version of Stalinium. Unofficially, we learned that it was supposed to be immune to outbursts of rocket joy and welcome Molotov cocktails during their visit to Ukraine.
66. Russian forces are so great in their training on Ukrainian territory that they attacked and destroyed other Russian forces.
67. Ukrainian women can fight too, and whatever they take in their hands, it turns into a weapon. A Ukrainian woman knocked down a Russian drone throwing a jar of pickled cucumbers at it in anger. After breaking the jar, the cucumbers were still suitable for eating. After hitting the ground, the drone was no longer suitable for flying.
68. The song Bayraktar has the potential to become an international hit and could secure Ukraine a victory at Eurovision in the future.
69. Russian soldiers that surrendered are treated fairly and were provided with fresh hot food and allowed to call their parents. Ukrainian civilians that wanted to get to safety by a humanitarian corridor were shot at by Russians. Many civilians died. Russia closed down humanitarian corridor so they can burn the bodies.
70. Russian propaganda is so bad and useless that they had to censour the Russian Internet from Facebook to keep Russian from organizing and revolting.
71. We asked the Russian commanders how much the Russian tank burns. They replied that it is mostly 3 crew members.
72. 7 tanks were going by Pryluky and they eagerly wanted to deliver fuel to the Russian tanks, but for some reason they just burned down and left only scrap metal.
73. The Russian police very efficiently painted the ice on the river and wiped the snow off the monument to blur the expressions of lack of support for DICKtin.
74. In order to ensure the safety of escaping civilians, the Russians mined the humanitarian corridor at Melitopol. Many civilians died.
75. In order to ensure the safety of escaping civilians, the Russians launched a missile on the humanitarian corridor in Irpien. The attack was recorded by cameras of international journalists. A family with two children died. This is another war crime Russia has committed in last days.
76. Russia hates Nazism so much that they have decided to replace the swastika on the flags and armbands with Z. The number of Nazis and fascists in Russia is constantly growing. Currently, Russia is ranked as 1st in the world with the most amount of Nazism and fascism supported and encouraged by the government.
77. The Ukrainian military confirms that it is getting harder and harder to find a place where they can bury the bodies of Russian soldiers that DICKtin does not want to be reminded of.
78. OMON was sent to Ukraine to attack civilians and to suppress riots in the Russian military, but along the way they suffered from sudden lead poisoning and spilled out of the trucks carrying them onto the road. It appears that anti-riot gear does not work against automatic rifles. The losses were estimated at 5 rubles and dirty road.
79. Russian logistics is so strong and wonderful that they are hauling civilian cars to supply their great army. There is still no information as to whether they will know which way to go despite all the signs telling them that.
80. We heard of a plan to smelt the scrap metal from Russian tanks left in Ukraine into a huge dildo and dump it on the DICKtin Palace. The whole world is preparing popcorn.
81. Russians are getting ready for the future. They are using Yandex to find the answer for: How people live in North Korea? We can only hope the answers they find are as great as Russian propaganda.
82. Less and less people are buying Russian oil. Shell decided to stop buying from Russia. They are also planing to stop any transactions with Russia and no longer buy any gas from them. Russians are happy that they will have so many resources no one will want to buy.
83. Head of Russian space agency wanted to be as crazy as DICKtin so he said they can drop ISS on China or India or USA and that their astronauts would gladly sacrifice themselves. Russian astronauts said that the best they can do is drop ISS on DICKtin head.
84. Russians said that they will conquest Ukraine in 2 days. Oh sorry now they said it will be in 10 days. Again new information says they plan to do it before year 2025. Russian war machine is truly a powerful thing just super slow and flammable.
85. The head of the Russian Church blames LGBTQ+ for the war in Ukraine. It appears that he thinks that anal sex someone had in the wast world is the reason why DICKtin has to kill civilians and bomb cities in Ukraine. We don't know if it was DICKtin who had bad anal sex or someone else. Patriarch Cyril smiles when we mention anal sex but is silent when we ask if it was with DICKtin.
86. Russia is losing their generals. First Andriej Suchowiecki was shot by a sniper now Witalij Gierasimow is reported dead case yet unknown. Probably fast flying lead poisoning. People say that when you listen closely the angels above Ukraine are listening to Another One Bites the Dust and Fire Water Burn
87. 5 Russian soldiers really wanted to get to the roof of the skyscraper to set up an observation and sniper post there. Unfortunately, Ukraine cut off the power supply to the elevator and all the Russian soldiers could do was surrender. Once again, dreams of greatness collided with harsh reality.
88. Alexander Butmanov, a Russian trader and economic expert, took advantage of an invitation to the RBK channel, which discussed the closing of the Russian stock exchange. During an interview on the live program, when asked what he would do after the stock market closed, he said that he could now work as Grandfather Frost, then opened a bottle of water and raised a toast to the death of the Russian stock exchange. Alexander Butmanov lost all the money he had in one day. The reporter did not know how to behave and if DICKtin was watching TV and whether she will be shot together with Alexander Butmanov.
89. A Russian soldier broke into a liquor store in Ukraine and was defeated there by the alcohol. He was captured with a great hangover.
90. Army generals are afraid of DICKtin. Therefore, they do not inform him about their failures and do not inform him that they are losing or the scale of the failures. DICKtin is also very angry that the soldiers used the most expensive rockets to attack the airport. The rockets also did not destroy the runway at all.
91. Activision apologizes for the Russians being the antagonists in their Call of Duty games. They claim that if they knew the truth, the antagonists would be a more competent army like from Cuba or Laos.
92. The professor, who died in 2019, signed an open letter supporting the invasion from Russian scientific circles. As you can see, Russia has mastered necromancy and the huge losses are probably part of the strategy. Thousands of zombies resurrected behind enemy lines will wreak havoc and panic...
93. Russia wanted to make a theater on its TV with one of the presenters showing support for Ukraine on the air. As vigilant observers noted, such programs are recorded much earlier and are not broadcast live on Russian TV. Likewise, the presenter received an astonishingly low penalty and is now free, while protesters with a much smaller media coverage are sentenced to 15 years in prison. Experts point out that it was a trick aimed at distracting the world from the murders that the russians are carrying out on civilians in Ukraine and slowing down the speed of the sanctions by showing a "normal Russian" with whom the West could identify.
94. Russia in its wisdom imposed a sanctions on Father of Joe Biden, who has died 20 years ago. Losses were estimated at $0.
95. Russia has imposed a sanctions on the Ukrainian Congress in Canada. Congress's response was: LOL.
96. Russia wanted to show how effective their defense system is. They shot down their own drone by mistake. Then they claimed it was a bayraktar by pasting photos of a downed bayraktar from Syria. Similarly, in 2014, Russia flooded social media claiming that they shot down the Ukrainian IL76 and 30 minutes later it turned out that they shot down the MH17.
97. Another Russian general bites the dust. He has been the 3rd Russian general killed since the beginning of the war. The generals that got shot were: Andrei Kolesnikov, Vitaliy Gerasimov and Andrei Suchowiecki.
98. Experts indicate that Russian generals on the front lines and their deaths in Ukraine means that Russian communication is not working, or Russia is using the tactics from 1980s. It also means that the reported casualties by Russia of only 500 killed is an impossible number, while every few days a new general dies there who would be well protected by numerous military, therefore the number of 13,000 given by Ukraine is much closer to the truth than the Russian 500.
99. People create games where you can kill DICKtin or fly bayraktars and attack the columns of the Russian military. Such games are becoming more and more popular, especially if they have cutscenes from the current war.
100. People say Z stands for Ztupid, V stands for Very Ztupid, O for Overly Ztupid, A for Average Ztupid and X stands for Already Dead Ztupid.
101. Rossgram is to be launched in Russia instead of Instagram. We suppose that instead of FaceBook there will be Kniga Twojego Lica and instead of OnlyFans it will be OnlySaszaandWania.
102. Russians did a deepfake with Volodymyr Zelenskyy. This is the worst and most ridiculed deepfake ever. Its level is comparable to that of the Russian army.