Metro 2033 giveaway (Make me laugh to win) (Someone already made me laugh

here, theres a video of a chimpanzee riding on a segway when you here someone sing "chimpanzee riding on a segway"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPGUIpv-JxI

and here is a picture: http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/5966868_700b.jpg

This is one of little johnny's jokes :)

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

Why did sally fall of the swingset?

here you go

Potato.

-tickles the OP-

Okay... This statement is FALSE!

dontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutitdontthinkaboutit

Whats the difference between a 1000 dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage...jk. I will tell a real joke

Tom was a man of faith, and a man of the golf course. He played golf every Sunday religiously, but only after attending church services.
Tom was getting on in years, and one day after feeling ill, he said to his wife, "I sure hope there is golf in the afterlife. I feel terrible!"

His wife told him not to overreact with talk about the afterlife. "Go to church and say a little prayer," she suggested, "and you'll feel better."

So Tom headed to church. As he kneeled at the pew, Tom whispered a prayer: "Oh Lord, thank you for everything - my health, my wife and my golf game. I hope that when I reach Heaven I can still play golf."

As soon as he finished, a voice thundered: "Tom, this is the Lord. I hear you and will answer your question. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?"

Tom was startled. "Well, give me the good news," he said.

The Lord replied, "The good news is that in Heaven, we have thousands of championship golf courses, play is never slow, it's always free and you will never lose a golf ball."

Tom was ecstatic, "That's wonderful! You've answered my prayer! But what is the bad news?"

The Lord replied, "You tee off tomorrow at 9 a.m."

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGELp8MT1uY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LykQHEMGhWM

Check out my other videos if you want a laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Leon0101/videos?view=0
http://steamcommunity.com/id/leon0101/

Alright, let me crack into my good jokes book.
A man is at a pharmacy. He looks at all the condoms that they are selling. He is confused by all the sizes and colors. He goes up to a pharmacist, and asks "What condoms do you think I should get? I am going to my girlfriends tonight for the first time"
The pharmacist picked a type, and the man checked out and went to his house to prepare for dinner at his girlfriends.
When he got there, the mother brought out the food, and the man began to pray. He looked up, surprised no one else prayed, and his girlfriend said, "Hu, I didn't know you were Christian," and the man replied, "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist."

Well, after looking at everyone's posts, I gotta say everything was hilarious, but one joke in particular made me laugh a bit harder than the rest. Winner, I have hidden the key deep within your steam profile, but that shouldn't be a problem for you since you should get a notification about it anyway. Congrats and thanks everyone for participating!