You won't like my advice. But if there's ever been a more fitting use for this quote:
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were..
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This is a piece of shit advice. I will always disagree with it. If you dont chase what you want it will fly away.
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Err - it's a relationship, not a hunt. You can't force someone to love you.
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I don't mean chase her with a chainsaw and threat her to love you.
I mean make an effort. Tell your feelings. I don't like the idea of leaving it to luck. The other party might be more aggressive and he will lose his opportunity.
In Greece there is a saying: " Even if the gods help you, you need to move your hands to take that help"
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well, nothing to do here but to let go & keep friendly, might as well change her mind sometime.. hold on!)
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Without actually knowing her, you and what really happened between you, it's difficult to give sound advice.
Maybe you interpreted her reaction wrong, because it's what you wanted to happen/see. Maybe you are right.
It also depends what kind of relation you don't want to lose. Would you at least want your friendship to survive or would you risk it all for a relationship?
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I am honestly not interested in friendship with her. She want to keep our relation to the level it is right now, but this can't simply be.
If I find someone else I want to be with then I can't think of being so close to her without harming my life.
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Well then tell her that in a reasonable way. That your friendship would end anyway, if she refuses to give your relation a chance, so that there is nothing she could risk by trying it.
But if she accepts that and still does not want a relation, you should really be prepared to accept that as well. Then it wasn't meant to be and she really has no similar feelings for you, whatever signals you thought to see.
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Then leave her. Maybe in a few years you guys will go back to one another. She obviously is MORE interested in someone else than you. Sometimes people have to shop around to know they had it good before, but don't wait for her.
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You've been friendzoned, once you're in there there's no way out. Best move on.
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Totally disagree.
Women can put someone there to protect themselves and the other, if they don't want to admit to any potential romantic feelings but if she says to herself "we are just friends" then they can justify it. Not saying it's the same in this case, but it happens.
Also relationships can form from a friendship, i mean if you are in a relationship and you aren't even friends, what relationship is that?
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I'm not the right person to give relationship advices, so just have a bump ;)
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Hard to say bro. Maybe better be friends then lose her forever. You said she is bisexual - She can be more attractive to women then man :/. Has she ever had relationship with boy? EDIT: I see... I missed that part with colleague in the work: strange.
I suggest: try to be friend and do not make pressure at her and maybe she will fell in love with you as well.
GL and thanks for GA!
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Maybe better be friends then lose her forever.
4 years ago I said, I would rather lose her than to be stuck with her forever, being friends when she is everything I wanted from my life. It still makes me feel sad today that I lost her. But looking back, I see today how she made me such a pathetic person back then. Letting her go was one of the best decisions I made in my life.
I think he should just forget her, coming from someone who experienced the situation first hand.
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Well... maybe you are right but there is still a chance she will fell in love with him. It is hard to give advice when we dont know both of them.
But he has to make right decision.
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You've made your feelings clear and been persistent but as someone else has already mentioned, you can't force her to want to be in a relationship with you.
I don't think the fact that she was very quick to think about a relationship with her colleague but slower to come round to you is a good sign.
It would be a shame to lose a friend, but I guess it will be difficult to change your feelings if you've fallen for her.
No solutions, but personally I'd try to stay friends but with a little more distance for a while. The space will help you to both work out what you really want and to put things into perspective.
Good luck!
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She could struggle with the bisexual thing, but doesn't explain why she would seek a relationship with another man, just after she kissed you.
Unless a woman is completely drunk in a bar or someone that does it with just anyone, they usually just don't kiss anyone, for some women kissing is even worse cheating then sex, because they feel it's more intimate.
If i were you i'd really just have a talk with her, and ask her why you both kissed then and if it really didn't mean anything, look into her eyes when she says it and you will tell if she is lying or not.
If it meant nothing and she wants to stay friends, while you still remain to have feelings, trust me, it's gonna be hard for you.
Your head will say it's better to quit this, while you heart says to stay around her, decision only you can make but if you stay, do it because you want to keep the friendship and not the hope it might still work out to something more maybe someday.
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I am really not interested in friendship, it couldn't last I can feel it. The problem is not her, it's me. I did not imagine her reaction after the kiss, she was really desiring me so I can't understand how things changed in 2 days
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Then simply just ask.
She does the switching, not you, the problem is her, she isn't the one being clear, and yours as in how to deal further with it.
As i said below could even be something like bipolar or something similar.
Trust me i have been through all the experiences and i even make the joke for myself i tend to fall for woman that have someone or something.
Eitherway plenty of fish in the sea, and your avatar shows you aren't exactly ugly either.
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believe me, things absolutely can change in 2 days. before you were ok with friendship and now not. before she was ok with flirting and now not. my advice is to move on.
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You can try to talk to talk to her again in a calm manner but at the end of the day if she doesn't want to be more than a friend, you can't force her. But I have to say, like I read your story, I find that she changes her mind quickly.
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Or, maybe, she doesn't know where she wants to go and what she really wants herself.
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Could be bipolar. Knew a girl that went from guy to guy (me included which i didn't know at that time) that had, dunno if that could be adressed to it or not, lost touch with the girl.
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That's possible. Bipolar disorders come with changes in someone his or her activity, behavior and sleep together with up or down mood episodes. Treatment most probably will be a combination of medication and psychotherapy.
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Yeah girl i knew, she is married now and got 2 kids, so probably got the help she needed.
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The fact that she switched so quickly towards her colleague doesn't paint nice picture about her but I don't know the background so hard to say. Be true to yourself and to her, be your best and it will work out one way or another.
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Mettiti l'anima in pace, magari continua a sentirla, ma senza insistere troppo. Se si rende conto da sola, bene, altrimenti amen, inutile dannarti. Certo, tu sembri un bel ragazzo e magari puoi anche permetterti di lanciarti, se sei proprio convinto.
Anche a me è capitato di prendermi una cotta per qualche amica, di solito basta rendersene conto e prendere un po' le distanze (un po' come gli alti e i bassi per tutte le amicizie) per farsela passare, poi riavvicinarsi e pensare "che cavolo avevo per la testa, questa stronza lunatica? ahah che scemo ero" ahahah
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Wow
I am sad for you, but :
1 choose to go on vacation with just a quick good bye to her. If you have no news from her or call, you should stop and make your life.
2 choose to stay friend
3 avoid pressure on her and have fun for yourself
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How much time ago she ended her previous relationships, wich was 5 years with her GF?
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When you have a good friend you don't want to lose him/her.
Relationships have more chances to end than a friendship and that will probably destroy the good friends you were.
Thats is how I understand the "friendzone".
So even She wants you, how friends you are can call out louder.
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They will say "We are just friends" even if you know her for like 10 minutes. That's not the reason, but it's a nice fairy tale, i like it =)
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Sometimes you don't like the person for any reasons like appearance and personality.
Saying that you are just friends is a way to don't say the true reason and try to don't hurt more the other person feelings.
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Of course, but why is your first comment so different? It's like you didn't have a clue about anything and in the second comment you are like another man O_O
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Well that sucks.
The only thing you could try to do is talk with her.
You can't force her even if she behaves like a bitch (can I say that?)
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It's about feelings... Yes, damn feelings.
So I have this long term friendship with a bisexual girl. I always taught that she had a very tough character and that we would never work togheter.
About one month ago she went out of a 5 years relationship with a girl and we started to get very close, like hearing each other every day, chatting whenever we could and so on because she needed someone close to get her out of the pain. Point is that by becoming so close I started noticing some things about her that I liked of her and in the end I fell for her. At the beginning she brutally refused me saying that we were too friends to have a relationship and could never see me as her boyfriend. I did not gave up and insisted and finally she started to change her mind a little bit.
I managed to kiss her in two occasions (on the lips) and she changed her behaviour towards me. Last saturday we went out and had fun. I managed to kiss her twice (french kiss). Depite she was not convinced at the beginning, the she started to look after me and desire me, she looked well with me. The day after we talked about it and she didn't seem to regret it, she was even sweet with me.
Monday her work colleague declared himself to her and she started thinking that it might work with him, she asked me to forget her because she sees me only as a friend. I don't know what the fck happened.
Now dear SG community, I don't want to lose her. I really care too much but I don't know how to behave and what to do. Please share your opinions with me, and in case your suggestions.
Here's the GA (hint: add a w to the link)
https://ww.steamgifts.com/giveaway/G9FC3/
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