He went to go get milk but forgot where to go after he left the store.
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He tried going around the world in 80 days, but didn't succeed.
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his plane crashed in the middle of the ocean and he was lost at sea.. living on a raft he found in the plane door for 2 days eating raw fish to survive..
he then washed ashore on a deserted and long forgotten Island where the natives found him and was about to cook him... to save his life he used the skills he learned on Steamgifts and build the First computer they ever found there...
and then he made a small turbine in the local river to power his computer.
internet was then the 2nd problem..
he found out that lighting strikes during rain grant 30mins of Free internet so he made a Long Metal pole..
and he comes online when a storm hits that island. to use steam and steamgifts..
sadly he fell in love with one of the natives so he dsnt want to contact for help using the internet he rarely gets
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He was stuck in traffic for a REALLY long time.
Cxiong visited China and accidentally stumbled into a opium den. The inhabitants of the den took a liking to this silly person and gave him all the free opium he desired, which apparently was a lot. Several hours turned into several days which then turned into several months as Cxiong remained in an opium induced state until one day he got the craving for some cheetos, the hot ones, cause those are pretty good, so he left the den to get some and he finally came down and realized he needed to get back to civilization and see if he had actually won the giveaways he entered before he left.
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The current cxiong is not the real cxiong. He's an imposter!!!!
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He was a juror sequestered during the Whitey Bulger trial.
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The important thing is that he's back. Now we need to find other missing members like Kaitlyn and Marumisu.
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Now that one of the more prolific members is back in the fold, I figure it's okay to have fun with his past hiatus ...
Steamgifts Community, post your wildest theories of cxiong's whereabouts for the last few months. Remember, they have to address BOTH his long disappearance and his apparent lack of Internet access.
Here are my two:
1) He was busy saving lives, serving as a village doctor in the deepest jungles of South America. Dude is the MacGyver of medicine. He made his surgical tools from carved tree branches, sap and villagers' pubic hair (don't ask me; some weird local superstition). Because of his good deeds and god-like status, the villagers took him to see the long lost Aztec city of gold. To the villagers, the gold contained therein is just pretty decoration, but cxiong snuck a few coins into his pocket on the way out and can now afford to buy the entire Steam library thousands of times over.
2) While walking through a quiet, sunny meadow, cxiong mistakenly crossed over into the Fairy Kingdom, where he was abducted by Titania's personal guard and made to serve as Titania's human sex slave. Months later, he final escaped when she was too "exhausted" to move. His plan was to get a job in the game development industry, perhaps helping the Faerie Solitaire 2 team to craft card backs that feature Titania is various sexual poses. Unfortunately, his memory of his time (and pleasures) in the Fairy Kingdom are mysteriously fading away ...
Edit: thejadefalcon, I'm going to warn you now ... none of your gay porn stories here starring cxiong.
Edit 2: Okay, maybe just one.
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