Well, I'm sure your mom appreciated the time you spend together and your efforts regardless of whether you're always able to fulfill what you had in mind or not. The most protect thing is that you seem to have the right outlook on this
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Thank you.
Yeah i got my own stuff, but i also worry too much and take it on my shoulder the worries of everyone around me, i think it's my nature and sign (virgo) and you wish you had this magic wand that you could take away people's problems, and while money doesn't bring you happyness you sure can bring a smile to people's faces if you would win a large sum.
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Hope the answers are of a good nature and as such would put a spin on ur steps as u might deliver the news visiting ur mom, also congrats on the new TV, and tbh I think the 55 would be quite enough as I don't think u would be having much space to like distance urself from the tv(for da eyes!)if Imy recollection ur house's measurements are indeed correct lol :P
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Thank you.
Yeah you are correct, the store that i got the tv from had this link that said how much space you should keep between your tv versus inch. Even with 55 inch you need 2,5-3 meter, 3 meter is already over half of my living room and reaching my desk chair (which i want to keep a clear path and some room), also a somewhat clear path to the balcony that when i just woken up i can easily wake up with cups of tea and coffee without having to worry bumping into stuff. :p
I haven't counted all the measurements up but with a cabinet, a table in front of it and then the couch, i hope to make that 2 meter, then they also suggested a mere 35-40 inch tv but i am also trying to plan ahead suppose i do move again in the future (i hope, although not the moving itself part, moving all the heavy stuff, especially alone) with more room that i don't have to rebuy a tv again.
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People do tend to hang them on the wall, but you need sturdy grips and it will cost 200 euro, but it's not as easy in a rental apartment as a normal house.
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200€ is nothing compared to the price of tv or the price of picking up the t in pieces from the floor
but i hate drilling holes through walls as they are full of iron reinforcements and the cement is tough
some flimsy drill wont work, you need a powerful one
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Anything is much, when you are on wellfare, it's not like i needed a bigger one, more like i needed a second one, my old one is in the bedroom and i also do want to watch some tv before going to sleep.
I saw a video of a guy with those things on a wall and he was doing pushups on them, he wanted to show it had so much grip.
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I saw people hanging tv's on drywalls like this
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Talking to moms can be hard. But at least try to say hello now and then. Thanks for the giveaways
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Yeah she always had/has stuff (especially when i just moved in and had a cat) it's on my way to the grocery store, but usually i come back with heavy bags of 15+ kg (lemonade, oranges, lots of cottage cheese) and it's 4km (back and forth) sometimes i go twice so pretty knackered by that itself, last summer i went 4-5 times with ease and could stay there longer, but since january i wake up tired a lot plus wiith the rest my energy is quickly drained.
thanks.
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You're very empathetic, and that's a great quality!
I think everyone has (or will have) regrets about their parents, about how they could have done things better, or not done things at all.
But you also have to try and remember the good things, because (normally) there were good things too.
I have mixed memories of my father, but I try to counterbalance that with more positive things.
And in a way, it's also thanks to or because of that that you are who you are today.
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I am, thank you.
Yeah although there are really worse parents out there, but i was blessed that they loved me even though they didn't really say it, but they come from a generation their parents didn't say it to them (but if i ever still may have children i will definitely tell them that i love them).
Even though they had their heated discussions (my bedroom was above the living room) my dad had to stop when he had heart problems, but then my niece with mental issues lived with us and my dad always choose her side, which my mom and i didn't always agree with.
Due all sorts of factors things are getting harder to keep positive, but not that i ever was a half glass full type, but i am wating on hypnosis (they could have started january already) and i hope that can also make change a bit in that aspect, but i also worry that perhaps my stubborn streak is counteracting it and if that isn't going to help, then i think nothing will.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8yuyvu 9:00 it's the soap piece i am talking about, the son says i hope i even half the man you used to be, i hope so too for myself, i think so.
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I was wondering something. have you thought about putting everything you express in your threads on paper (or to music)? I say this because many artists use their pain to create art. And you seem to me to have all the qualities to do exactly that.
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Write a book about my lifestory, i am like who wants to read it?
I don't know how to draw/paint, i thought about music but it would help if you could voice yourself on acoustic guitar or just be a songwriter but it's just too hard to get in that world, and sometimes i got an idea for a song and just forget it again.
I do think i make a good shrink or some sort of coach, but i am afraid with my age it's too late and also my current physical state won't let me.
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You know, most book authors do exactly that, except that it's more fictionalised.
Not saying you must do that, but you look like you could do that. And you said yourself : Music soothes the savage beast. (even if it' probably not the best quote, as it has 2 meanings :p)
But i know how you feel, i always wanted to write something and never managed to do so because....life probably.
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Telling life stories and actually writing a book in such a constructed way it would interest people are also two different things, why here you have several biography writers that write a biography about famous dutch people, but then again so are there unknown people that write their lifestory themselves.
Also our new government wants to tax books at 21%, but i also seen the charts on how much each one involved are earning on a book, and it's the writers themselves that earn the least.
That saying always remind me of this game: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE9h2JMvXnI&ab_channel=Highretrogamelord my dad and i struggled for a long time getting that.
And i wish it would come to gog/steam (they got les manley, so it's possible) maybe if you are an american this is a kids game, but my dad and me were very well known with english, but many puzzles still stumped us, even in school i secretly tried working on some of them, but many times my dad and i brainstormed together, that was a fond memory.
Yeah but if i do that, it must have a purpose, like i never felt i had purpose, how many kids aren't asked what you wanna be when you get older? I never knew, and still don't. Then i am "better off" just keep on clearing my backlog i guess, and the older you get the less time you feel you have.
I mean the opinions on my singing are varied, so going acapella i shouldn't, if i had that acoustic backing me up then perhaps some people say hey this is really nice and it can catch on (these days it's really a stroke of luck).
It's mentioned before i do really care about people, am empathic i want to help them, be it with advice. Or if i would win the jackpot be a filantropist, go in december dressing up like santa claus and hand out enveloppes with money to strangers, or when you read in the news someone's scootmobile or special van been stolen, and get them a new one, that sort of stuff.
As a very young kid i actually made a small book (i don't think it exist anymore or somewhere stashed under my sisters old bed that is just full of junk), i also did try to write some science finction with this song in mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQB2-Kmiic in the year 2525 i couldn't even get further then 1 page.
But most most of all i just really wish and hope children are still in my future (and with that offcourse a partner) and just teach them my life lessons, play with them, love them, cherish them, then really anything else can be stolen, i would even give up my 11700 games steam account for it.
Then i gonna go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCJLOXqnT2I :p "As long as we're together
The rest can go to hell". Nothing in life is more important then love.
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At the end of the day, it all revolves around the same thing. Can we handle the loneliness? In our European countries, I think this is probably a big concern, as we are culturally not so tied to family or community.
And when you're in a relationship, it solves many issues, but not all of them.
It's a complicated question, and it's not the same for everyone.
At least I hope you find what you are currently missing in life, who knows? It may be sooner than expected !
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I can't handle the loneliness, when i moved i was 1 year sober, and it hit me like a brick wall (same for my mother) i took a cat Bowy which i told about here, because it helped so many people with mental issues, but it didn't tackle my germphobia nor the loneliness, and i even sought refuge in alcohol again (i am now sober since november) and it's so easy to get some mental rest and have a bit of wine or whatever but i refuse, also because physical issues, if it weren't for them perhaps i would have taken a drink.
And yes love is tricky, finding it and keeping it, i don't really believe in monogamy either, i mean if you meet at 20 and you become 100, you spend 80 years together and for some that can work, but many relationships end up in a friendship and they got used to eachother instead of still real love. And there is this woman in my life with this super spiritual bond, but for various reasons she can't commit to me, which is a book on itself.
And they say you need to be happy first to make another happy, i think i am happy (beside from the physical stuff which is just waiting and hoping they can all fix it) but the only thing missing yeah is some friendship/love (in whatever form).
People keep saying that, but why hasn't it happened for so long? When i was in my mid twenties i gotten several female friendships who persued me, through myspace, an online game, facebook and through a spiritual chatroom (the only remaining friend) the others watered down, also because 2 are living in the UK, but i can't explain why that happened then, and 20 years after never even just once.
Then you can decide to try dating sites but for every 1 female there are 10-20 men aiming at them, not to mention the fake profiles, the average cost of 100 euro etc etc. In short they also don't just come knocking at your door, i thought about activities etc but i just can't think of something, the only thing is a board game club but it's just so far away when i got so little energy now, i was going to try it 3 years ago but then corona kicked in.
Thanks.
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Family can be hard. But I see many positive vibes in what you wrote.
Also: the TV is a nice treat for oneself. You gotta give you good things from time to time, big or small.
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Family you can't pick, only friends.. Thank you.
Yeah, and i just had a small one in my bedroom with no room for any consoles, i needed a second one, there and then i can hook up some consoles that been in a crate for a year since i moved.
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Yup, as said above, family, even the closest one, can be hard to manage. But if things are clear, it's just having the willpower to work on it, and keep all the good things as the important ones. Idk how to word it, but I think it's understandable
Also, everything and everyone has their time and pace, nobody can be everywhere at any time, no need to feel guilty or bad if the situation doesn't let you help as you want, since it's out of your hands
Thanks for the GAs Lugum <3
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Well when we were little, my aunts and uncles already stopped celebrating the birthdays of nieces and nephews, on birthdays some said just throw me out of the house (and my mom always said no i am not throwing out my kid) and now after my dad died, and she had a stroke they don't even bother to come by for a visit, so that part of the family is dead to me.
While my grandparents always had yearly get togethers, and if they knew what had happened to the family they would roll over their graves.
Also unfortunately i had a thing in september with my own sister over really nothing and she decided to spend my birthday gift on herself after just 2 days, i am like give me a new present and the situation is over but she refuses.
So basically i got my mom left and 2 nieces and nephew, offcourse you have to go with what life throws you and what you can, but my mom is not getting younger, and she feels so alone herself, like i have this female friend with pains, 60 hour work weeks, 2 kids and she all does it, yet sometimes i feel myself "complain" that certain things are already too much, maybe women are also stronger i dunno.
Everything would also be so much better to handle with a partner, that you can hug, saying cheer up harold,etc etc, but love is a tricky thing.
Thank you. <3
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Yup, that's another thing, just because they are family/relatives shouldn't force you to stay in touch, so better building a wall over that.
And it's hard not to compare to others, if they are doing better on worse and seeing how they do, then compare it to your situation. Each person copes with their problems as best as they can, maybe they are better at it, maybe worse, it depends a lot on the person, so yeah, don't feel bad if you ahve to complain at something because you are in all your rights ^^
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I see, that we are dealing here with the classic dilemma: too rock or not too rock.
Cheers :)
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"Here is a loud announcement"
"Silence in the studio!".
Up until i moved out my mom and me always had a rocky relationship, but i think she never felt comfortable in how we lived in the end.
Noone was, and her stroke combined with my moving out, and everyone abandoning her, made her really change and be very helpful and kind to me in which i am blessed, and i got some vacation money coming in and thought to treat myself on an 75 inch tv but i kinda overestimated how big that actually is (like almost my size) so i thought 55 inch was just enough as well (they got these soccer discounts so they are fairly cheap) although 65 inch could have worked if the cabinet i ordered was slightly bigger, it's 140cm and a 65inch would have been 150cm, or i had to get a 200cm cabinet, which is too big.
On the other hand, i got so much going on (since november) and hope next week going back to the hospital to finally get some permanent answers and solutions to something ailing me since, because that put a major strain on things but that made me not really have the energy at times to visit her, but we also can't really talk not sharing the same interests, i would love to do chores for her but i got 2 left hands, so yeah at times i feel guilty.
I was watching some soap, and someone's characters dad died from ALS in his sleep, the son (Michael Easton who was in a show called TWO about having an evil twin brother, you can still see it on youtube) played that scene wonderfully, but brought tears to my eyes on how i never could have said goodbye to my dad, and all the more reason i should treasure my mother as long as i can, everyone should.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8yuyvu 9:00
Now the "funny" thing is when i ordered the tv, in my emailadress it says harold, i filled in my name as harold and still the store send a confirmation mail saying dear hans (which was my fathers name) and this hasn't been the first time someone tried to call me hans.
Anyway, peace!
Alternative. Full Concert.
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