Down as fuck, please cheer me up a little. :)

Is this a begging thread? Yes it is. I am begging to post some funny shit that will cheer me up. I am also begging the trolls to stay clear of posting comments.

In short:
Got sacked from work over half a year ago. Got unemployment benefit (the one you build up while working) afterwards. Ended after 3 months. Got a return from taxes afterwards that I could live from, but that also had it's limits.
Asked for social support, they told me there is a 4 weeks searching period, in which you don't get social support. Found work in a food factory after 4 weeks, so no right for social support (at least, that's what I got told during the intake conversation, but the guy today told me you can get support for that period, even if you find work within that period). So I didn't go back to social support, thinking I got a job (happy).
Turns out, they take the 'no hours guaranteed' quite literally. Had a job before where that was also the case, but never worked under 30 hours a week there. But here, I am planned to be working for the whole week, but they usually call me 3-4 times a week that I don't have to work that day.

So I went back to social; support today, turns out, I had to come back there right after those 4 weeks for having my support started at that time. So now I am back to 4 weeks searching period again. Meaning, fisrt money I can get from them is in about 6 weeks. But the catch is, I am as of today, 3 months late on rent.

So I called my landlord today, telling me to have it fixed in some way by the end of next week. He didn't quite say it with that words, but between the lines it came down to being evicted otherwise.

TL;DR I might have brought it on mysalf in part, but there is a big chance of me getting evicted soon. So yeah, I'm quite fucking down at the moment. And I would really appreciate some posts that could bring a smile on my face. :)

Don't quite know the proper words for the different kinds of social support/benefit, so forgive me on that one.

THANKS! For all the nice comments. Some really did make me laugh. Feeling a bit better now, so closing this thread before comments start to appear that won't really make me smile.