Did you ever encountered similar things?
You have alot more patience than I do, but I am a very confrontational person when I get angered. Me, I would of sucker punched him then proceeded to beat some respect into him. He most likely wasn't taught respect for others or decent behavior as a child, so he feels he doesnt have to be respectful to anyone. All it'll take is one good ass whoopin to make him see the light.
Im glad you're free of the ass now, good luck in your studies :)
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i think the same thing but if i would start the fight i would be the one getting kicked out. This was the only way of getting rid of him. But i know that some day he will get a good beating of someone and then he will realise what kind of person he is. Thank you for the great wishes :D
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i think you can clearly tell if you are the asshole or the good guy. If people always report you or tell you not to do this or this or in my case tells you why you refuse to clean your own shit and dont follow the rules then a intelligent person would realise that he is the piece of shit. xD But there are many cartmans out there who are good at mental gymnastics.
In my time in this apartment noone ever said anything bad about me even the toxic one. because he had nothing to say. he just said i should chill and live my life and that this place is a prison with all the rules. he didnt evn read the rules he had to sign before entering the apartment. he was shocked when i read it loud xD
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Oh damn.. that sounds like a real pain in the ass human being..
I just wonder, wether these people are simply with mental problems or such behavior is result of horrible parenting..
Anyhow - such a person would probably be picking up his teeth after several times of ruining other peoples living experiance in student hotel I live at..
I thankfully live with two of my best buddies. We game together, get drunk together but never get on nerves of my fellow students who live in other rooms. So does people around us.. Mutual respect its called - thing that these days seems to be fading day by day.
Oh, and answering your poll... When I was in vacational school (at 16 or 17 yo). There was one guy with serious mental problems. He was like over 2 meters high. Fat and with decent amount of muscle. He somehow maneged to finish the school. And he was training in rugby just for the sake of breaking someones hand or leg. Complite psychopath. Once he got drunk, broke into many rooms and was being aggressive while playing with knifes.. Motherfucker always slipped the manegement and no one really called police cause those morons dont do anything neither. Hated him with every fiber in my body.. But these speciments still are considered part of society.. Such instances is why I am really losing my faith in humanity or that anything will be better.
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i think the same. i had a theory that his country is not so free and his parents restricted him a lot and raised him wrong. Coming into a free country made him go crazy kind of not realising that his freedom ends where my starts. But soon he will learn i think.
Also the person you met is waay crazier then what i experienced. The cops should do their job. thats crazy.
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Well, its just one of those cases where no one has been hurt and you cant just arrest someone for "looking" threatening..
Because word would get out who reported him and most likely that someone would end up with broken legs.. Yep, where I live its this crazy and idiotic..
One guy had to move away to another country because he was forced to rat out a marihuana dealer..He didnt get a sentence, but the dealers (pretty mcuh orginised crime here) would have got him..
Of course its not like that everywhere and day in day out, my country is pretty normal not some backalley where everyones a drug dealer or psychopath.. But you know, such cases do come up..
In my native city there was a boxing club.. Where almost all the boxers where with mental issues.. Fighting on streets, beating up random people, going in a club and beating everyone up including security.. And police ? Th box club bought everyone off.. No one was never sentenced for nothing.. Luckely this shit-show broke up and there hasnt been any such cases... Just wanted to share this too, while talking about retards among us.. :/
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this is crazy. glad that this is over. the police told me that even he threatens us or makes noises at night we could call them and they will arrest him depending on what he did. threats will get you punished with keeping them at the police and noises will get fined depending on how often he does it. if he is totally uncorporative they would take his stuff like music player/ tv.
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Perhaps it is a person from another country ...?
Usually, when visiting other countries, we respect and adhere to the rules of that country.
However, people in special countries bring their rules to other countries and invite them to act like their own country.
There seems to be no workaround.
That's actually there.
I write what I should not do on paper and post it.
The penalties accompanying it are also described.
(It seems to be a general act in their country)
They will keep what is written. It seems like it.
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yes he is from a foreign country with totally different culture and religion but i didnt want to generalise because i have neighbour who is from the same country like the toxic one and he is one of the nicest persons i have ever met. i think its his way of being raised and he being not able to handle all the freedom he gets from here.
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true, some people are a threat to a healthy society and just damage build up relations. the first experiences made me kind of having prejudice towards some people from some countries but i learned to not generalise. I think that racism comes from this bad experiences with some people but i now know it better and just judge individuals :D
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I have found that the best way to deal with such people is to avoid having them in your life. Failing that, you have the option of recording their behavior (video, taped conversations, etc.) for use in court if you are in America. If you decide to involve the police, you have evidence to press charges and they will go to jail. You can also sue for damages in court, but success is based on your evidence. (You have to prove the behavior exists, and that it has harmed you in some way.) Of course, you want to consider whether or not that would be a good thing. At bare minimum, however, you may present the evidence to whomever is in charge of the building and have that person evicted ("kicked out").
The person's country of origin makes no difference. Unfortunately, such people exist in every country. P
There was one time when I was having serious issues with a guy and asked the people who knew him personally to intervene. One of them responded, "You cannot expect to fix someone's behavior if he never learned it at home." (paraphrased) I have found that to be largely true of such people. One of the most undervalued blessings in life is having good neighbors.
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true, but thankfully we 3 got together and wrote a letter to the people in charge of the building and they believed us. The police also didnt need any evidence because it was 3 people reporting. But if noone believed me i would definetly recorded it. i had enough time and ocassions to prove what kind of hypocrite asshole he is.
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I believe that depends on the state. Each state has different laws regarding recording with or without consent.
https://www.rcfp.org/reporters-recording-guide/state-state-guide
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As Carefree noted, it depends. If the person is notified (e.g. "I am being recorded. If you continue, your participation is consensual."), or if interaction is initiated by that person in a context where being witnessed is presumed (e.g. on a public street, or speaking to a phone answering machine), then it should be OK for the purpose of evidence. Distribution of said recording is an entirely different matter, however.
Regardless, there are other things you can do to protect yourself, such as a simple contract to which the various parties have agreed and signed. (e.g. "Each person will keep their private space reasonably clean.") In situations like the one described in the OP, extremely anti-social behavior is usually in violation of the lease agreement signed before moving into the domicile. Property managers like to protect themselves from ungovernable tenants.
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It's a lot worse when your sibling (that still goes to school) behaves like this because you cannot kick her out. Believe me, my parents tried (like, talked to people who know about stuff. much description, very precise, I know).
How I / we handled the situation? Well, I finally got to move out. My parents still have to deal with her and quite frankly, I have no idea how they manage it. I also have no idea how she turned out like that. Like, I'm fine and we have the same parents? Sometimes I think it's just the person and their personality or whatever, nothing you can really change through parenting.
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i made the observation that friends have a huge impact on young children. especially ones in puberty. And i had some friends who joined bad friends with bad habbits and our ways got split apart because of it. some people have high self estem and dont need the attention or the group of friends who kind of control the behaviour. But others do and because of that they want to be part of them and change. And of course some things cant be changed.
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Yeah, that does actually make a hell lot of sense. Oh well. I guess things just are as they are now.
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Haben deine Eltern ggf. mal beim (sozial)psychologischer Dienst der Stadt/des Kreises nachgefragt?
Nach meiner Erfahrung ist das in ca. 50% (gefühlter Wert) der Eltern-Kind Konflikte eine gute Anlaufstelle.
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Mein Vater war beim Jugendamt, aber ohne Erfolg (siehe oben). Meine Schwester übrigens auch, unabhängig. Wer seine Mutter als "Hure" beschimpft uns seinem Vater hinterherbrüllt, er solle doch endlich verrecken, sich nimmt, was er gerade zuhause so findet (Lebensmittel, technische Geräte, auch Geld aus Geldbörsen etc. ), dem ist nicht mehr zu helfen. An sich ist mir die auch eigentlich komplett egal. Bin froh, wenn ich nicht an die denken muss, geschweige denn sie sehen muss. Nur für meine Eltern tuts mir leid. War erst wieder für paar Tage dort. Es hat sich rein gar nichts geändert. Die verhält sich immer noch als wäre sie Queen und alle müssten sich nach ihr richten.
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Deine Eltern müssen wohl mit ihr weiter leben bis 18te Lebenjahr . Dann aus den Hause , lass Sie mal sehen wie sie allein klar kommt
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Leider nein, leider bis sie mit der Schule fertig ist. (Frag mich nicht, meinte das Jugendamt aber wohl damals.) Und selbst dann seh ich die die nicht rauswerfen. Aber wer weiß. Ich bin gespannt.
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Hört sich heftig an.
Aus der Ferne hört sich das Verhalten und die Ausbrüche nach psychischer Störung und/oder Drogenkonsum an. Falls eins der beiden zutrifft könnten sich deine Eltern über Therapien informieren, ggf. auch welche gegen den Willen deiner Schwester.
Auch wenn es beim eigenen Kind sehr hart klingt: Bei Diebstahl anzeigen, damit deine Schwester externe Konsequenzen zu spüren bekommt.
Ich habe bei meinem Job als Lehrer schon einige Jugendliche erlebt, die psychisch am Ende waren, wegen Probleme zu Hause oder mit Freunden, und aus falschen Gründen die Hilfsangebote nicht annehmen wollten. Selbst diejenigen, die Hilfe angenommen haben, hatten häufig Rückfälle in ihr Verhalten, wenn bestimmte Trigger vorlagen (Telefonat/Chat mit Eltern, ehemaligen Freunden, ...).
Aus den Erfahrungen bin ich in so Fällen der Ansicht, dass nur hilft die Jugendlichen (gilt letztendlich auch für Erwachsene) komplett aus ihrem sozialen Gefüge zu lösen und ihnen einen Neuanfang zu ermöglichen.
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Ist auch heftig. Beides gut möglich, ich hab keine Ahnung, ich hab mich mit der seit Jahren nicht unterhalten.
Vor allem wird sie erstmal richtig auf die Fresse fliegen, wenn sie denn dann mal eigenes Geld verdient und Wohnung, Strom, Wasser etc. zahlen muss. Aber gut, again, mir persönlich soll das alles egal sein, bei mir ist die unten durch, kümmert mich nicht. Und auch meine Eltern kommen an die nicht mehr ran, von daher wüsste ich auch gar nicht, wie man ihr sowas vermitteln wollen würde.
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Kann da nur noch mal auf obigen psychologischen Dienst der Stadt verweisen. Ist was anderes als Jugendamt und die können am ehesten auch beraten inwiefern Therapien gegen den Willen des Patienten möglich sind.
Wenn du willst, kannst du das deinen Eltern mal als möglichen Tipp weitergeben. Wenn du sagst du bist raus und weg, dann nicht.
Beim "auf die Fresse fliegen" ist immer die Frage ob mensch daraus was lernt oder dann in einen endgültigen Abwärtsstrudel gerät. Nach meinem Überblick sind die Hilfsangebote für Jugendliche deutlich besser als für Erwachsene.
Wie auch immer, dir noch einen schönen Abend!
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Kann ich ja mal tun, aber eigentlich haben die Eltern bei ihr eh nichts mehr zu sagen, da volljährig - also kein Jugendlicher mehr. Anyway. Danke jedenfalls und dir auch noch eine schönen Abend!
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Parents most often deal with it because we love our children unconditionally. Unfortunately people sometimes end up like this because of things in their life (such as bullying or other problems) and feel like they are unable to talk about it so act out instead.
Everyone can become better, they just need support but most importantly they have to want to become better too and sometimes that just takes time.
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they have to want to become better
Exactly. But she thinks she's 100% in the clear and what she's doing is what children are entitled to.
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Das hört sich genau an wie meine Schwester als sie so 16 Jahre alt war(in milder Form), dass hat sich heutzutage gottseidank gemäßigt ^^
Es ist deine kleine Schwester, die gibt man nicht einfach auf und lässt die links liegen, tret der innen Arsch und red mit ihr, die scheint ja offensichtlich Probleme zu haben.Glaub da hast du die besten Chancen als Schwestermit ihr zu reden.
Und geb die Hoffnung nicht auf ... die wird auch iwann erwachsen ^^
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Die wird dieses Jahr 20. Ich möchte nichts mit einer zu tun haben, die ihre Eltern aufs Übelste beschimpft, ihnen den Tod wünscht, mit nem Messer auf den Vater losgegt, sich alles im Haushalt nimmt als wäre es ihrs, absolut respektlos mit Sachen anderer umgeht, Geld klaut, alles leugnet und lügt und sich auch noch im Recht denkt. Schwester oder nicht, mit so einem Menschen kann und möchte ich nichts zu tun haben. Ich bin froh, wenn ich sie nicht sehe. Der Zug ist abgefahren. An die würde ich nicht mal mehr rankommen, wenn ich wollte.
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From what i've heard, the only reason i got the apartment when i went to University was because one of them was asked to leave after puking and burning the neighbours clothes during an house party.
Though the Landlord made it sound that him sleeping with another dude was a bigger problem
I wasnt much of a cleaner myself, i think i had to be asked everytime. Though i did clean, and i always kepts my shit cleaned and stored.
You want a better one?
I was invited to spend new years eve at a party at some dudes house.
This kitchen was so filthy we even had to clean the wall, before cooking.
There where layers on layers of filth, and in the last, there was a dead cockroach stuck to the wall. Never laughed so much in my life, some people live like fucking pigs
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Good riddance! Congrats on finally getting rid of him. I guess he was counting on the usual apathy of the authorities (he didn't come from France, by any chance? :P because that's what a-holes do here, since they know the cops or responsible people don't show up unless there is a serious injury) and to a point, he was right since it took so long to get rid of him. If it was me, someone like that gets one warning and then it's out.
My sister had a neighbor like that about 3 years back. Rich kid with attitude leaving off his parents in a nice apartment but without a job or any kind of serious occupation so nothing to do but drink and get high all day and night with his buddies. He'd play music so loud up until 6am that she could hear it through earplugs and sleeping pills (that's how she had to sleep if she was ever going to sleep). Cops did nothing. Building management did nothing. I almost punched his lights out a couple of times and I'm not violent by nature. We ended up finding out his parents address through some fluke of his mail getting in her mailbox and just wrote them a letter about how toxic their little a-hole was. Guess they didn't know and he got spanked. He actually wrote a letter of apology, never made a peep again and moved out within two months lol
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thanks, no he didnt came from france.
glad that the guy got some manners from his parents. i dont have any way of contacting his family and i dont know how they would react to it. some parents are like the ones you encountered and some would totally defend him and say that their son would never do that and i am the bad guy.
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That's unfortunate. Glad it's come to an end. I don't recall ever having to deal with anyone as difficult as you described, but there have been a few acquaintances and flat mates in the past that have been difficult to deal with. It would usually just end with them or I eventually moving out and I just endured it and kept my distance until then.
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If he's going to college in a foreign country he's probably rich, and from your description he is rude and disrespectful. so based on the limited information you've given me if I absolutely had to peg him as something it would be a rich spoiled brat. As for me I commuted to college for my freshman year and didn't move to campus until I was a sophomore and although I was still required to live in University housing I was not required to have a roommate. Every year I was in school I had a single dorm and I would not have tolerated it any other way. If it's a stranger, you potentially end up with someone like that, and if you move in with a friend, you're taking a big risk that it'll kill the friendship. It is more expensive but what you save in the end (your sanity, your friendships, your life or your roommates life) makes it worth it.
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I had a similar situation where a female cousin of my roomate was living with us and she basically didn't do any chores, couldn't manage to do recycling and always let her food spoil in the fridge without throwing it out. Also, during the winter she used to leave heating on at full force all the night everyday, so we had to pay very expensive gas bills (the last one was about 300 euros) because she always felt cold - like, can't you put a warmer blanket on your bed?
Other than that she was also using our stuff even though she didn't pay for the groceries ("because i buy my own stuff!"), complete with her boyfriend stealing my perfume and deodorant and being a general nuisance when she was around. I got out from that house, but my friend still lives with her and he's hoping she's gonna get out at the end of the year.
Granted, we weren't the best roomates around (i used to play PS4 in the night, but at least i used headphones, my friend occasionally smokes pot and gets drunk), but at least we had the decency of taking care and cleaning the house and getting groceries with our money and we were pretty quiet.
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i feel your pain. some people also just used my stuff and i couldnt really blame someone without knowing 100% but i kept everything in my room until that moment.
Also if you are playing with a headset on you are not terrible because you didnt want to bother your roommates. the toxic one, thats how i call the main antagonist of my story here :D , would just blast his tv on and play fifa with 4-5 friends screaming around and music at 2 am. you have to be a real piece of *** to do this.
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I also asked this before seeing this comment. I was interested in which one because of you mentioning "not a free country". I live in "not a free country" and don't think that actually has any effect on people's manners.
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I had a room mate that would party constantly, to the point when I would actually call police to come break it up, once they left the people would return and start the party again.. so i started to leave the house and sleep in my truck.
Shortly after I had enough and moved he had a large house party that got out of hand.. the house ended up burning to the ground and killing two people, he was charged with criminal charges, drug possession, forced confinement (invite women over get them wasted and then lock them in his room) and is currently in jail serving about 10 years.
Glad I left that nonsense behind....
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I am staying at a student apartment while i study in a university. It is a apartment for 4 students with shared toilette, bathroom and kitchen. I have a toxic flat
mateenemywho came from a foreign country to study here. At the first week he came to the place where i stay he caused trouble. He refused to follow the house rules and he refused to take part in the cleaning schedule.We reported him so many times. Nothing really helped. He would follow the rules for couple of days after getting warnings and begin again his unhuman behaviour.
Couple of thing he did:
Brings 3-5 friends at midnight in his room and plays PS4/ watching movies or football games which results in screaming etc
dont cleaning after cooking and leaving a mess on the stove/oven kitchen place.
shitting and not cleaning. etc you get the idea.
taking drugs and being intoxicated and threatening us.
Also he is so rude and disrespectful to us. he wouldnt show up to meetings or blatantly lie to us and the personal from the apartments.
He threatened us and showed clear aggressions and shouted to us.
I warned him that he has to follow the rules or he will get kicked out and he laughed at me.
And now sweet karma takes into place and he will get kicked out. As a revenge he makes more noise and is a total asshole. We called the police and the personal came and talked with him.
I am just happy that he will go. But i dont understand how someone can be such a person. How did the parents of him raise him? i cant fully understand it and will never do. How someone being this rude and uncorporative can think that he will get away with it and face no consequences?
Ok, i just wanted to vent a bit and get it out of my mind. i made my exams and now staying at my parents house and dont want to see his ugly face ever again xD. So, here is a open giveaway https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2TCBd/ because i forgot to make it invite only. And people who know me here. In the next weeks i will make a huge giveaway so be prepared ;)
If you have or had anything similar happen to you please share it how you handled the situation and what happened at the end? a happy ending?
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