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8 years ago*

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Potato?

View Results
Potatoooooooooooo!!
Patataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
Kartoffelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!
土豆!!
감자!!
Pomme de Terreeeeeeeeeee!
ポテト !
картофель !
krumpir!

x) Batata

8 years ago
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I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.

8 years ago
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17

8 years ago
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So two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff…

View attached image.
8 years ago
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sorry, coudn't hold that

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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18

8 years ago
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19

8 years ago
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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam!

8 years ago
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20

8 years ago
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An optimist and a pessimist are talking to each other. The pessimist says, "Man, things can't get any worse." And the optimist says, "Yes they can."

8 years ago
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Q: What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a
hooker with diarrhea?

A: The epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits.

8 years ago
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Tell me a joke...

My social life.

8 years ago
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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

— Steven Wright

8 years ago
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knock knock.... fuck you copers...pew pew pew

8 years ago
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The greatest joke of all? Life.

8 years ago
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they finally dropped the charges against the guy accused of stealing all those flowers
turned out the evidence had been planted

8 years ago
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My life, ba da dum.

8 years ago
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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office and asks to see the podiatrist as soon as possible. The podiatrist takes the moth into his office and asks, "What seems to be the problem, Mr. Moth?"

The moth sighs heavily, pressing his fingers to his temples. Finally, choking back tears, he answers. "What seems to be the problem? Where do I even start? I work for Gregory Illvanivich down at the shoe factory, and all day long I work. I've been in the same position on the conveyer line for years, and Mr. Illvanivich continually passes over me to promote some bright young man or pretty young lady. I don't know what I'm still doing there, but in this economy I can't find another job that pays as well. I do know that he enjoys stringing me along like this. It's a power trip, you see. He enjoys this power he has over me. I work all day, then when I finally get home late at night I can barely sleep. Sometimes I look over and see this ugly old hag on the other side of the bed, and then I realize that this is the woman I married. The woman I'd loved so long ago. Our daughter, Rebecca Liliana Andreyushkin, was hit hard by the cold winter we went through. I mean, the whole village was hit hard by it, but Rebecca was hit the worst. She's so sickly these days, I dread that she won't survive to see the next winter. And this is the worst part, doc, but my son -- Vereshchagin Golovanov Andreyushkin -- I no longer love him. Whenever I look into his eyes, I just see the same cowardice and weakness that I see whenever I look into the mirror. I sometimes -- no, oftentimes -- wish that it was him and not Rebecca who was dying. In short, doc, I'm not doing too well."

The podiatrist furrowed his brow. "Wow, Mr. Moth, you're troubled. I don't really know how to help you. I mean, you need a psychiatrist or a psychologist or, hell, even a therapist would be able to help you more than a podiatrist. Why'd you come here, anyway?"

The moth replied, "Because your light was on."

8 years ago
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One thing that annoys me a lot is that I say and think up a crapload of jokes but can never, I repeat, NEVER fucking think of one to tell when someone asks. I think I'm just fated to be known as "that guy who's funny all the time except when people actually wants him to be funny". ._.

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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What did the one cabbage say to the other cabbage?

Lettuce be friends.;)

8 years ago
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Closed 8 years ago by Hiperdoll.