Potato?
I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s telling me that.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKDo6g4CCeU Hope you laugh :D
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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A: Dam!
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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office and asks to see the podiatrist as soon as possible. The podiatrist takes the moth into his office and asks, "What seems to be the problem, Mr. Moth?"
The moth sighs heavily, pressing his fingers to his temples. Finally, choking back tears, he answers. "What seems to be the problem? Where do I even start? I work for Gregory Illvanivich down at the shoe factory, and all day long I work. I've been in the same position on the conveyer line for years, and Mr. Illvanivich continually passes over me to promote some bright young man or pretty young lady. I don't know what I'm still doing there, but in this economy I can't find another job that pays as well. I do know that he enjoys stringing me along like this. It's a power trip, you see. He enjoys this power he has over me. I work all day, then when I finally get home late at night I can barely sleep. Sometimes I look over and see this ugly old hag on the other side of the bed, and then I realize that this is the woman I married. The woman I'd loved so long ago. Our daughter, Rebecca Liliana Andreyushkin, was hit hard by the cold winter we went through. I mean, the whole village was hit hard by it, but Rebecca was hit the worst. She's so sickly these days, I dread that she won't survive to see the next winter. And this is the worst part, doc, but my son -- Vereshchagin Golovanov Andreyushkin -- I no longer love him. Whenever I look into his eyes, I just see the same cowardice and weakness that I see whenever I look into the mirror. I sometimes -- no, oftentimes -- wish that it was him and not Rebecca who was dying. In short, doc, I'm not doing too well."
The podiatrist furrowed his brow. "Wow, Mr. Moth, you're troubled. I don't really know how to help you. I mean, you need a psychiatrist or a psychologist or, hell, even a therapist would be able to help you more than a podiatrist. Why'd you come here, anyway?"
The moth replied, "Because your light was on."
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One thing that annoys me a lot is that I say and think up a crapload of jokes but can never, I repeat, NEVER fucking think of one to tell when someone asks. I think I'm just fated to be known as "that guy who's funny all the time except when people actually wants him to be funny". ._.
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What did the one cabbage say to the other cabbage?
Lettuce be friends.;)
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