Three statisticians go hunting.
First one takes a shot and misses 10 inches to the right
Second one takes a shot and misses 10 inches to the left
Third one throws his rifle down, pumps his fist in the air and says "I hit it!"
A male and female whale were swimming together when the male spotted a boat of poachers. Then the male asked the female to work together and capsize the boat by using jets of water out of their blowholes. Soon the ship was sinking and the men were in the water. Not content that the task was complete, the male whale urged the female to help him eat the sailors. However, she replied, "I agreed to the blow job, but there's no way that I'm swallowing seamen."
"Hello, 911!? My wife wanted to cook me my favorite potato-stew for my birthday, but fell down the basement stairs and stopped breathing!"
"Stay calm, mister. An ambulance is on its way."
"What should I do?"
"I dunno. Spaghetti?"
My girlfriend's dog died recently, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one.
She became very mad, then screamed "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Four nuns die in a car crash and end up at the Pearly Gates where they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Before any of you can enter Heaven, I must ask you a question. Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
The first nun lowers her eyes and softly replies, "I did touch one with my finger one time." "OK," says St. Peter, "dip your finger in this pail of holy water and you can go inside."
He then asks the second nun, "Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
The second nun solemnly replies, "Yes, St. Peter, I touched one with my hand one time." "Ok, dip your hand in this pail of holy water and you can go inside," says St. Peter.
St. Peter then turns to the third nun and asks, "Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
Before she has a chance to answer, the fourth nun pushes the third nun aside and stands in front of St. Peter.
Shocked, St. Peter asks the fourth nun, "What are you doing? Why did you push this other nun aside and cut in front of her?"
"I wanted to get my drink before she has to stick her ass in there!!" replied the fourth nun."
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GoT quote ≠ joke
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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
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Math jokes are for nerds. Joke rating π/10.
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Three statisticians go hunting.
First one takes a shot and misses 10 inches to the right
Second one takes a shot and misses 10 inches to the left
Third one throws his rifle down, pumps his fist in the air and says "I hit it!"
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It's ok. Joke rating √25/10
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Too bad. I had a good knock knock joke. Now you'll never know. :P
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The joke is that you think you have a good knock knock joke.
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If you steal my glasses, I will find you. I have contacts.
🥸
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It counts as a joke. My rating 4/10
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You must have great joke tastes. Please share a 10/10 joke for this lowly peasant.
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No. My job was the giveaway, your job was the joke. Your new rating is 1/10 for questioning me.
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A male and female whale were swimming together when the male spotted a boat of poachers. Then the male asked the female to work together and capsize the boat by using jets of water out of their blowholes. Soon the ship was sinking and the men were in the water. Not content that the task was complete, the male whale urged the female to help him eat the sailors. However, she replied, "I agreed to the blow job, but there's no way that I'm swallowing seamen."
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Good joke. 8/10
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Thanks!
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Don't get the joke. 0/10
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why was six afraid of seven?
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Please don't be the 4chan version.
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because hes a regis.... Seven Eight nine....
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You had potential but then missed it. Joke rating 2/10
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do you really want me to finish the joke?
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Of course.
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Thanks for the giveaway!
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No joke? Rating 0/10
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"Hello, 911!? My wife wanted to cook me my favorite potato-stew for my birthday, but fell down the basement stairs and stopped breathing!"
"Stay calm, mister. An ambulance is on its way."
"What should I do?"
"I dunno. Spaghetti?"
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Good one. 8/10
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My girlfriend's dog died recently, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one.
She became very mad, then screamed "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
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Good joke. 8/10
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Do you know a fine 9/10 joke? I could need a laugh today.
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Four nuns die in a car crash and end up at the Pearly Gates where they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Before any of you can enter Heaven, I must ask you a question. Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
The first nun lowers her eyes and softly replies, "I did touch one with my finger one time." "OK," says St. Peter, "dip your finger in this pail of holy water and you can go inside."
He then asks the second nun, "Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
The second nun solemnly replies, "Yes, St. Peter, I touched one with my hand one time." "Ok, dip your hand in this pail of holy water and you can go inside," says St. Peter.
St. Peter then turns to the third nun and asks, "Has any part of your body ever touched a man's penis?"
Before she has a chance to answer, the fourth nun pushes the third nun aside and stands in front of St. Peter.
Shocked, St. Peter asks the fourth nun, "What are you doing? Why did you push this other nun aside and cut in front of her?"
"I wanted to get my drink before she has to stick her ass in there!!" replied the fourth nun."
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xD thats good one.
Love it. That made my day.
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Now you owe me tree fiddy.
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One of the few non-habit building vices: stalling at 300 feet.
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5/10
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Harrison Ford has somehow made a habit of it.
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There are 10 types of persons: those who know binary, those who do not and those that mistake it for ternary.
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Meh. 4/10
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Thx for the giveaway
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No joke. 0/10
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I feel bad for the clownfish.
All he wants is a friend, but all he ever seems to find is anemone.
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You can do better. 3/10
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