Hear about the guy who had his left side cut off? He's all right now.
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"Are you sure this is a pun thread?"
"I'm a frayed knot."
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To the guy who invented Zero... Thanks for nothing!
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Whoever stole my copy of MS Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.
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Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
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I was playing Terraria with my partner and I picked up a bone pickaxe. So I told her "I've got a bone to pick with you".
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I was going to buy some salmon yesterday but put it back because it smelled fishy. (True story!)
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I got carded when I tried to attend a music festival. They were showing a lot of sax and violins.
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Back when I played WoW, I always intended to start a guild called "Cheeses of Azeroth". All the ranks would be based on the shop in Stormwind, and we'd we would all just look confused and hurt if anyone complained it was blasphemous.
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What happens when you put jam on a magnet?
It gets jammed
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What does a pirate say when he turns eighty?
Ay Matey!
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Ah puns the lowest form of humor... I approve!
here is one I heard in the 90s
why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
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sure it is, slide sounds like side, clearly a play on words basted on the clasich joke about chickens crossing roads.
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I misread slide. My apologies. Second time I apologized tonight. I've reached my limit.
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It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
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I love puns!
Here are a few I made up myself, but could very well have been said by someone else before.
"Wait, you mean to say that bartenders aren't granola bars?"
It is proven fact that a gardener can grow a decent salary.
A man enters a pawn shop with a flip-knife.
The employee: "Hello sir, how may I help you?"
The man: "I bought this flip-knife here yesterday but I don't want it anymore. It's pointless."
The employee: "But sir, we cannot refund items that weren't broken upon purchase."
The man: "No, you don't understand. It's literally pointless, the tip is broken."
"I installed Java on this computer. Now I can't put it to sleep..."
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Prepare yourself, we have a punderstorm watch in effect.
(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)
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A boiled egg every morning is hard to beat!
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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A man fell into an upholstery machine last week. He's now fully recovered.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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This is a pun thread. make a pun.
When Isaac Newton gets thirsty, he has a cup of graviTEA.
The flatworm punished his son for slicing itself in half, he was a real disciplanaria.
Yup. Making bad puns in this thread.
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