Tell a story - fill up the whitelist! [GA added]

Cool idea...not sure if people will actually give out real stories.

I'm going to edit this post after seeing what some other ppl write :P

Story of my life You say? "I don't know what I'm doing" sums it up :P

Video games ruined my life, fortunately I have two more left!

On the first date with a cute girl I stomped into a dildo lying abandoned on the ground in the centre of the city. I crushed on the ground and she laughed for around 30 minutes. I still wonder why she didn't want to go out with me again... (true story of my life)

Last week I cut my finger while cutting carrots, it was pretty deep and I fainted in the bathroom, lost consciousness for about five seconds, hit my head while falling, fml

Today just fucked up my first test in my finals :/

Once I fall in love with a girl named Selene, didn't end well for me, but I have Steam

I just picked up a brand new copy of The Art of Neil Gaiman for about €7. That makes me happy.

I keep failing my exams! Damn it! D:

The last job title I had before moving to this country was "chief ice cream maker"
I would wake up, look out the window, and decide what time to go to work based on the weather. I was making smiles all day long (not to mention the frequent tasting) and my brother pointed out that we lived on top of a liquor store and owned a blender.
Greatest job ever!

One day,when I play on pc call to me phone and I heard a child's voice "Mr buy some coal from me".I said no and that child say "fuck you".
Maybe that story isn't funny but weird.

Today Just played dota on japan server and met russians there gg russian dotka

nice idea. my story is sad but true, director treat interns and helpers as slave. we normally worked from 8:30am (which could be 4:00am depends on the needs), work until midnight 1-2am. and treat us badly and rude.
Therefore when she fell down when having the catwalk, we all can't hide our happiness lol

I'm 28 yo and i will be a proud father in august :)

One day me and my friends challenged each other to eat some of sugarless Haribo (consuming more then 20 will result in gastric exorcism). They are pretty good in taste so I ate some more then 20 along with friends. 3 hours later I started my 4 hour toilet adventure - never again.

Looks like I can't apply, as I have no life :,) Video games and books, bro, that's it

This is a story I told my friends again and again since it's kinda funny and entertaining: it was my first time (if you know what I mean), I was younger and I went to my girlfriend's house since her father was always away for work untill 8 pm and her mother was on holiday with her sister and her grandma. It was noon so we had lunch together and later, while we were watching a film it all "started". We went to bed and "began". But, in the middle of the "action" we heard the sound of the key in the lock of the door.
You know the expression "to feel your blood run cold"? That was exactly what I felt in a second fraction (with all the hydraulic pressure implications; it almost disappeared! Always if you know what I mean), and I swear I dunno how I had that ninja reaction but I jumped away kicking my clothes under her bed and, completely naked, I hid in her ward robe.
The bottom line? Her father came back home to have lunch so he stayed there a couple of hours (during which I stayed naked and freaking scared in the wardrobe) and only after that hermit naked waiting I could continue what I began earlier.

One day I received an SMS from an unknown number, saying that the meeting with the colonel (I don´t know any colonel) would take place at 7pm.
I could have just ignored the message and go on with my life, but no, I decided to reply it.
So I replied saying: "Ok, I'll get there naked".
One minute later the number calls me asking who was talking.
I told him a fake name and almost pooped on my pants.

I was born in a country that no longer exists, have sold cuckoo clocks and done industrial espionage for a big brand of fried chicken, controlled scientific experiments on sleep and have been an actual "rain man", advertised for cookies and been paid for testing hotels in french Caribbean islands.
Sometimes, I'm tired.

I'm going to write about something that must be the proudest moment of my life. One, where I felt that I made the difference, not sure if it's true or not. It's a rather sad story, but here goes...
So, a few months ago I was just hanging around with someone at his place. He was drinking, I was just chillin' because I'm not into booze. So we were having fun and stuff, he went to another room to have a smoke. When he came back, he was like "please go home". I was like "wtf" and "okay, I get it you're drunk off your ass, but what's that all about". Anyway, I didn't agree to go, because I thought this shit was too weird, and I wanted to know what it's all about, and generally I just don't follow commands unless they make perfect sense to me. Then finally he said something like "I'm going to feel really bad soon.... just go" and took out an empty package of pills from his pocket. I was like OH SHIT. Tried not to panic but it was kind of hard... I brought a bowl and demanded him to puke it all out or I'm gonna call the fuckin' ambulance. I know he's kind of a low-profile guy and doesn't want to visit doctors or bother anyone about his problems, so I kind of wanted to scare him with ambulance without actually making him go through the thing he hates, and possibly end up with this stuff going into his medical records, and maybe endanger his job position or whatever. So there he was, with a bowl, stomach hurting like hell, but he couldn't puke I guess, so he told me to help. I got a toothbrush, and jammed that thing up his throat until he puked. He pissed blood in the morning but still alive and well today. I have no idea if it would have been any different if I wasn't around, but he was kind of helpless and almost asleep during the whole time, so likely it would've been worse.

Last year I went to New Caledonia and visited the islands including Isle of Pines and Amadee Lighthouse Island. I was the only tourist of the group to climb a palm tree as high as the local guides and wasn't scared of grabbing the native snakes, crabs and other wildlife. Everyone thought I was fearless/foolhardy.

But one thing really did scare the crap out of me. I was happily snorkling until a small fish, no bigger than an average thumb, started snapping into my lower legs. I screamed like a sissy and got rescued by one of the guides. Needless to say, lol'd and said something in French to the other locals who also lol'd at me. I was now the sissy of the group. -_-

This is the story about my girl friend and my gaming habits ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

It was a nice day, I was playing video game with my friends on the internet (kind of an online-multiplayer game, we were in a combat, very excited), then that big boss showed up, no, I mean my girlfriend showed up =) she came to my home and asked if I can take her to the supermarket. "Just one moment, I'm playing with my friends.. wait me a little bit sweetheart". Then my girlfriend said:"Its me or that pc, WHO you gonna pick, now?". I swear to God that's the hardest question I have ever had in my life. I know as a boyfriend, I better take care of her, would pay attention to her, and I didn't want to act like a dumb@$$. But also as a man, I will never let anyone get control of something like my gaming habits and I was even playing with my bros! Luckily it's doesn't happen everyday, and a gentleman always says lady first, I couldn't let my relationship was ruined that easy, I think you know how I handled that situation. Girlfriends just become too much of a hassle after a while, we should accept that, they are still great.

When I look back at it I still think that was a frustrating (and funny) moment for me =)

In short fall in one side love, try best to show myself from better side get decent job + go to College to study Physics.
2,5 years latter one side love do not change to mutual, and story ends without off happy end.
Drop college, drop work, and live as neet now :/

I used to play that one game called Arctic Combat. It was available on steam for free with some minor microtransactions. I loved playing it and spent maaaaany happy hours putting bullets into enemies, After ca.10 months, the developer decided to shut it down for good (for probably not making enough profit) ... it was a great game, I miss playing it.