Life Happens. Falling Down, Getting Back Up. Few Milestones covered.(Updated with last GA)

A partner definitely would make things easier.

Good luck.

Sgtools > https://www.steamgifts.com/discussion/EGOtM/evolvation-revoked-dev-is-responding-in-thread-mod-is-requesting-no-additional-support-tickets

First of all, I'd like to say that it sure sounds good hearing that your dad is getting better, and also that you are now having a higher chance at getting your life back on track. I know the feeling of thinking you're being left out, as well as having little to no money while others seem to be doing well, or at least better than you. It does get better... With time, effort, and most importantly - no surrender. :) Keep us updated on the situation and best of luck! ;)

Honestly, while my advice probably sounds bad, I know that if you want to change something, you change it - simple as that! :/ If you're unhappy doing something, stop doing it. If you want to do something, then do it. You just need the proper motivation. Just do NOT let life sort itself out, because it won't. Sorry, but a harsh truth is better than a beautiful lie. You're your own master, so start motivating yourself. Working out and going out with the other students, will do just fine for now. You can then try going out for a "girlfriend hunt". Don't worry, we've all been through harsh times and, believe me, you can overcome these obstacles. Good luck!

That sounds pretty stressful. At least your father is doing better, that must be a huge relief. Hopefully with that worry gone, you can focus more on yourself and what you need. And don't feel too bad about feeling "left behind" by your peers. I've actually found that those that take longer to get married, settle down, etc, often end up being more successful in those regards. I'm sure you're still young, with plenty of time to accomplish all those life goals.

Also, I find it amusing that you like to unwind from all that stress and anxiety by watching Black Mirror - one of the most depressing shows I've ever seen. :)

Anyway, I think you've stumbled onto one piece, that a positive attitude will help everything else. You have to be confident and believe in yourself before others will, and that positive outlook will help reduce the anxieties. Easier said than done, I know, but you just gotta take small steps. Good luck!

I'm glad your father is doing well.
It's true, life is hard. But you've got the strength needed, even if it doesn't always feel like it.
Good luck to you <3

sorry to say it like that, but finding a partner sound to me like the easy way out.
Usually stories don't go much further when one needs the othe in their existence to make it work, it should be more like "Hey, I'm doing good on my own, but you know what? Life is so much better with you in it."

You have plenty of time to focus on yourself from now own, and all the strenght needed! And most important, you have the will.
Good luck, be strong and drop Black Mirror.

I know your pain all too well. I'm also stuck in a bubble of my own. Hope you get to pop yours soon.

ik its hard, believe me ik

try to work out instead of watching netflix?
do something with someone, go to a movie.
Dont sit in ya appartment bingewatching stuff cause it wont get better then.

if these things arent things you can manage atm, try and speak to a proffesional.Might be you have a burnout ...you been trough hell and that is bound to leave some marks.

happy to hear your father is doing better, and gl on your stuff.

I don't know what useful to advise in such situation, sometimes it's really hard to change habitual way of life. Just wish your father a speedy recovery and for you positive change in your life.

well, that's easy to say 'get your shit toegether and...' . as you wrote, sometimes it is hard, so maybe the solution is baby steps.

Hey, Welcome to Singapore. ;)
Can I say I envy you to be studying in NTU? I am neither smart enough nor financial sufficient when I am at the age of university exams. Doing your Masters is Great!

From what I read about you, you are just having a hard time adjusting here and a series of issues popped out. Were you a student here before? From my understanding, master studies don't involve groups like when you are a grad. You have to do it individually most of the time preparing your papers and thesis, etc. That is one point of miscommunication.

I do not know if Master students are able to join the school club if you are able to, join one. :) Or even be involved in a student body so there are more interaction. Singapore has a great society and we have great racial harmony, I am sure you won't find it hard to find friends around the campus. Go to the gym, go workout, jog, etc. You'll meet new friends and new people along the way. Its way too stuffy to stay in the hostel or your accommodation anyway.

I understand about your father's condition. Recently I am busy accompanying my parents to clinics due to old age ailments. My father is a heavy smoker, his lungs was diagnosed to had shrunk drastically due to smoking. From few years back he had been having these period of long coughs and normally he coughs in the morning which I call it smokers' cough. To get better, he had to stop smoking but his lungs will never bloat back to its original shape. What worries me is he might eventually contract lung cancer, hopefully not. The most worrying is he does not take care of himself nor does he listen to my plea nor advice to be more healthy or take more care of his health.

When you are the son, your words fall on deaf ears. I even got into a quarrel with him, which is common. Of course even though I am still frustrated among other things he has done at the end of the day I am still worried about him. Therefore I can understand your sense of relieve and your father had seek correct treatment.

Its not easy for you to study, and on your mind tend to someone whom is ill. Also leaving your country to a place where your friends weren't here. I am pretty sure NTU has some kind of club or counseling for foreign students. Now, I am not trying to preach at you but I feel its unfair to get a gf if the purpose is of comfort. Fall in love not for the sake of company. You can always do it with your friends or someone you met here and become close with. Have an open heart.

Focus at bringing your health back, I am sure you do not want your parents to worry about you either. Go out, ditch that netflix, while fixing your body, meet someone. Focus on your internship, who knows, you may find the special one, and best wishes on that. When that morning sun hit you in the morning, smile, greet your day! And go grow fat on the hawker foods, lol, kidding.

At the end of the day, the SG community is here for you. ;)
Cheerios, Cruse~

Binge on Netflix is always a good idea and Black Mirror is one of their best show, go for it.

First of all, you do not sound selfish because you are eager to focus on your life again now that your Dad is better. It's only natural. It's a good thing and as a stark contrast to what you went through, it may seem selfish to you but there's no guilt in needing to move on from all the tension and stress.

And believe it or not, the depressive state you're in right now is also part of what you experienced. Coming out on the other side of a traumatic period in your life, your body and your mind are going through a lot of adjustments and as eager as you are to get "back to normal", you shouldn't rush into things.

Your studies come first, I get that, because they are on their own timetable, and sure a clear head and a healthy body would help but don't do everything at once. Try to get back to a healthier routine, do a little exercise, it'll also help you relax, but don't make yourself crazy about it. Try to get enough sleep even if you feel you need to study more than sleep, you'll be more efficient if you're rested. Don't worry about eating junk food too much, if you exercise, you'll get better when you have more time.

All in all, though it comes to this: see a doctor and talk about how you feel. I know you are thinking doctors are for sick people and that you're fine, and I know it's hard to see when you're in it but you may need some help for a while to help you get your life back together. You went through traumatic times and maybe you need to talk about it to put it in your past for good or maybe you need to try some anti-depressants for a while. Only a doctor will be able to tell you.

Speaking from personal experience, it's a big adjustment to go back to "normal life" and it may feel both emotionally underwhelming and physically overwhelming after such an upheaval over a months. So ease into it and don't put any more pressure on yourself than you already have. You'll get the hang of it again, you'll see.

You can do it, stay strongg

If you’re Caucasian it’s not that hard to find a girlfriend in Singapore

That is great news about your dad's successful liver transplant!:)

As for venting, I think that we all need to do that at one point in our lives or another. Only negative things happen if one keeps bad kinds of feelings bottled up. It is only a matter of time before the pressure reaches the boiling point, and it explodes in a horrible mess!!

And we are all different. What one person goes through is never the same even if circumstances are almost identical! We all handle life (and all of its curveballs) differently. It can help having people there (either online or offline) to talk to and who can listen to what you're saying.

Maybe there is a club or something that you can join there? A place that has similar interests to you (whether that be tennis, chess, stamp collecting, comics, or anything, really)?

Take care!

Bump.

bump

I can very much relate. It's easy to just tell you to get up and do something with it but once a person settles for this kind of life it is very hard to actually get something started. It's very comfortable to just sit at home and keep oneself entertained with Netflix and Steam. At the end of the day though, I am not happy and I ponder what I could have done to make things better, promising myself to actually do it the next day, yet next morning I fall right back into the old routine.

I hope you have stronger will than I do and can actually break the cycle. :)

I can see myself in your post too! You are not alone here, remember that =)
Take care of yourself pal !

"I used to be the guy who would read such posts like this and think why do people need to write this here. Now I truly understand one needs to just vent it out somewhere.
I used to think how can people not pull their pants up and face life head on. Now I realize it sure is difficult if you are inside the bubble."

People don't truly understand what it's like to face something, until you or a close loved one faces the exact same situation.
I'm aware that it can be really tough sometimes. But chin up, you're almost there. And at the very least, I'm glad that your father's health is okay.

I am also in Singapore. If you need someone to poke to talk to, let me know. I'm not exactly doing the best myself, but at least I can lend a listening ear. I hope things will look up for you.