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Because I'm tired of getting catcalled and watching others in the street receive the same treatment, I decided to share some information with everyone in SG hoping that they can stop doing it and/or talk to their friends to make them reconsider their behavior.

Street harassment is unwanted and unwelcomed public attention, most often directed at women, which is demeaning and damaging. It’s not a private matter but one that should concern everyone.
If you have trouble empathising with strangers, then think about your mother, sister, or girlfriend. Would you enjoy watching people catcalling and telling them nasty things? How do you think they would feel about it?

On an average day I go out twice and I get at least one guaranteed catcall. On weekends or when I go out, for example to a club, it gets worse because groups of people feel more empowered to do so.

A few months ago I was walking with a friend and one guy said things and started to follow us. After a while it ended with me turning around and pepper-spraying his face, then running away in case he could fight back. This is the kind of violence it generates.
We had a rough rest of the day and were shaken up. I didn't enjoy doing that at all, but he had to be stopped. I also like to think the guy didn't enjoy it either.
So in the end, what did he achieve? Nothing.


Edit
OK, I'm gonna clear this up since some people like to assume things just to blame me for defending myself.

A few months ago I was walking with a friend and one guy said things...

For the backward people, this was in june when I wasn't wearing "provocative shorts and t-shirts" clothes. These are the "nice compliments" I got amongst others i don't even want to repeat here and/or I want to forget:

hey girl nice butt
does your friend wanna F with me too?
hey reply bitch
come here lesbos!
GONNA EAT YOUR ASS

...and started to follow us.

Walked one block with that guy which was 1 meter away from us. He wasn't shouting from the other side of the street, he wasn't half a block away, he wasn't sitting in the sidewalk. He was right behind us.

...After a while it ended with me turning around and pepper-spraying his face, then running away in case he could fight back...

He got warned to leave us alone during the whole 1-block fast-paced walk. I didn't stop to "discuss" because I'm not a 1.9 meters 120kg guy, so I'm not putting my friend and I at risk at 8:30pm in the street.

You read the "You're not alone" thread?
Well, most of the stuff that I shared about me is linked directly to an experience related to this, but I wasn't walking with a friend and there were two guys instead of one following me. You can guess what happened next since I wasn't able to defend myself.

But of course, street harassment is harmless and nothing else can go wrong, nor it can trigger unhappy memories from past experiences.
Think a bit before judging others so quickly assuming they overreact when they feel in danger.~


I know I probably won't convince anyone catcalling to stop by posting this (it doesn't hurt to try), but if your friends or co-workers do it, you can persuade or talk to them and see if they get it. There's nothing worse than being in a group of friends and allowing them to act like idiots.

It's disgusting and demeaning, stop it. You're hurting people with your actions and makes you look like a fool.


❀️️ FAQ, in case you're gonna post one of these comments I get all the time.

- But some women like to be catcalled!
Yes, there's also men that like to get hit in the face with a hammer. So using the same logic, I should go out and hit all men with a hammer in hopes they enjoy it?

- Don't be so sensitive, ignore it.
No, it reaches a point it can't be ignored. It's not an isolated issue once per month or in certain situations so you can avoid it. It also affects me a lot depending on my mood, so when you feel like crap and you get catcalled, things get worse.

- So you want others to come to your rescue when some stranger catcalls you? That will end up with me getting in a fight!
I'm not asking people to fight for me, just them to stop doing it, spread the word, and discourage people in their group of friends from being disrespectful.

- If you don't want to get catcalled, dress appropriately!
1: Don't blame the victim.
2: I dress as I please. It's my body, not someone else's.
3: It doesn't matter if it's winter and I'm wearing a jacket, or summer with shorts and a t-shirt. Some people will be idiots anyway and say things.

- I bet you like it when a handsome guy catcalls you!
Irrelevant. I expect respect from everyone.

- What about men? They also get harassed!
I'm very aware guys also get harassed by both men and women, but this thread is about girls. Feel free to create another thread for that issue, and I will support it.

- So this is just a misandrist rant!
It's not. If you feel targeted by anything I said, then it's not because you're a man, it's because you actions ressemble what it's said here.

- Meh, it could be worse.
It could be worse, but it SHOULD be better. Also, normalizing this behavior makes it even more painful for victims.

- Women also catcall!
I never said they don't, but for each woman that catcalls me, i get 500 guys. So the issue at hand is the one I shared.

- This thread offends me!
That tells a lot about you. Log off, take your time, and think about it.

- This thread is inappropriate for SG, please close and delete it!
Go tell that to all other threads about awareness, politics, religion, sports, disasters, etc.


πŸ’™ Some info and articles:

Stop Street Harassment
Wikipedia definition
Documenting women's stories of street harassment
Why we need to take street harassment seriously
Dutch woman faces down her catcallers by posting selfies with them

πŸ’š Videos:

Au bout de la rue (Court-mΓ©trage) - france
10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - usa
Woman is filmed walking London's streets for secret documentary - uk
Male actor dresses as woman to experience sexual harassment - egypt
Sons React to Their Moms Getting Catcalled - usa


Finished Giveaways By Ended (last month) πŸ”ΌπŸ”Ό
Broken Sword 5 - the Serpent's Curse lv1 mully december 15
Panzer Corps lv1 mully december 15
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition lv1 mully december 15
Insurgency lv1 mully december 15
Doodle Kingdom lv1 mully december 15
Doodle Mafia lv1 mully december 15
Farmington Tales lv1 mully december 15
Air Combat Arena lv1 mully december 15
Apocalypse (Showcase) lv1 mully december 15
Depopulation lv1 mully december 15
Beholder Lv3 Corran December 21
Sniper Elite V2 Lv3 Corran December 21
Resident Evil Revelations / Biohazard Revelations Lv3 Corran December 21
Evil Genius Lv1 HA December 25
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered Lv1 HA December 25
Quarantine Lv1 HA December 25
Tower 57 Lv1 HA December 25
Puzzle Chronicles Lv1 HA December 25
Yooka-Laylee Lv1 HA December 25
Surgeon Simulator Lv1 HA December 25
Operation Flashpoint: Red River Lv1 HA December 25
Streets of Rage Lv1 HA December 25
Stronghold Crusader 2 Lv1 HA December 25
SOMA Lv1 HA December 25
Cornerstone: The Song of Tyrim Lv1 HA December 25
Tick's Tales Lv1 HA December 25
Lost Civilization Lv1 HA December 25
Heroes & Legends: Conquerors of Kolhar Lv1 HA December 25
Cognition: An Erica Reed Thriller - Season One + OST Vol 1 Lv1 HA December 25
Quest for Infamy Lv1 HA December 25
Supreme League of Patriots Season Pass Lv1 HA December 25
Moebius: Empire Rising Lv1 HA December 25
The Last Door - Collector's Edition Lv1 HA December 25
The Last Door: Season 2 - Collector's Edition Lv1 HA December 25
The Story Goes On Lv1 Fluffster December 25
Super Splatters Lv1 pookysan December 26
Retool Lv 2 sgtools igel2005 December 26
Hearts of Iron Collection III Lv2 Harry December 26

πŸ’› And some pictures:

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6 years ago*

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Capitalization is a waste of time

View Results
yes
No

As a guy, I witnessed a lot of these and I agree, it is pathetic. Not sure how a (obviously broken) mind can imagine that harassing someone will make that person start to like you or get friendly.
Doubt it will help the lost souls get nicer with women, but here's something I saw recently for the more mannered and where is still hope:
How to behave

6 years ago
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in a perfect world everyone would be the rock ;_;

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6 years ago
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I can understand everything except that poll how its related to this topic :3

6 years ago
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It's not :D

6 years ago
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i never use capitalization ^^

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6 years ago
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In first place I thought about this

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6 years ago*
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I never knew how often things like this happen, until my wife told me, how many times she and her friends were harrased when they were in school. I didn't even know how many flashers and masturbators existed in my city.
This (as we call them here) "cattle" are even loving to touch butts. This is just ridiculous, and women should be tought to kick some idiots in the nuts, if thats the only language they understand.

6 years ago
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that's another issue in this whole mess. it's not just terrible for grown women, girls also get harassed.
it's plain sick seeing a 12 years old girl getting comments about her butt... *facepalm*

6 years ago
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So, I have some thoughts and questions.

To start off, I think we could both say that we know of each other. And you've never given me at least a reason to doubt you or not believe you. While I think that the whole catcalling thing is overblown to an extent (a mix of negative bias and the unreliable eye witness testimonies), you've made me think that it might actually be bigger than I've made it out to be in my mind. From what I've seen of your posts and comments, you don't seem to have much of an agenda behind you, meaning that I doubt that you'd make this up for attention or raising awareness for your specific political or social cause and to villanize another group.

If this is true (and I haven't really got a reason to think otherwise), then to start off, I'm sorry. It must really suck. Personally, in my whole life (as a man) I've seen this happen only once when I was walking around with a woman. In that case, I just stopped, tried to look intimidating, told him to act like a big boy with actual cojones. In response he started slagging me off, at which point, I pretended to take something out of my inside coat pocket at which point he seemed spooked enough, saying that he was just joking around and that I'm overreacting.
While this might sound like one of those "Reddit power fantasy stories", I swear by it.

Personally, the women I've spoken to about this topic don't seem to have much of an issue. Maybe a separated case here or there. Now, I think the statistics here would be lower, considering that most of our population is introverted and shy. Maybe it's the weather or just the culture. Not sure. If you're from a southern culture, then I can most definitely agree with you, considering that I've heard stories from my sisters (from their vacations to places like Turkey, Spain and Egypt) that made my blood boil. Men there just seem to be much more aggressive. So, please understand why northern countries would find it hard to believe you. Their problems lie in the party-going-douchebags that are just unavoidable, idiotic manchildren that won't really learn.

So, I just started thinking and now I know that I've actually catcalled before. I think it was only once considering that I can't remember more and I've usually pretty timid and held back. I was walking my dog when a pretty damn attractive woman came to close her window upstairs... naked. I was listening to music, looking around, waiting for my dog to sniff her scents and I caught her doing so. Instinctively, I just said "woah". She felt embarrassed, but laughed. She found me on Facebook, we chatted and got coffee a week later. We forgot to ask each other's age and when we found out the difference, we both felt uncomfortable about it (well, she did, but I wasn't going to force it.). She probably had a proper look at me and wanted out as quickly as possible anyways. Once again, sounds like some "Reddit power fantasy", but as with the previous story, I stand by it.
So... would that be actually catcalling? In which case, was what I did bad and would I be on a list of shame?

And my last question. Catcalling's a thing you don't find acceptable. What about people who check you out when you walk by? Example, you walk past a man and he just quickly has a look at you, not really by accident but more like by getting a glimpse of you and then just giving you a bit of a longer glimpse?
Like, are the catcalls the thing that angers you or is it just checking out in general? Personally, one I'd perceive as a compliment, the other I'd perceive as a dick move.

Thanks for reading :)

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6 years ago
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I don't think this is cat calling, just an awkward situation that sort of worked out xD That's cool of you guys to be so chill about that. Sorry it didn't work out in the end though xD

But in terms of your question. I stated previously I've never seen or experienced cat calling in the UK but as a girl I will admit I check people out. In very general terms we are animals and we go off instinct. However, vocalizing this is not acceptable. I have actually been spanked on a night out once and it was disgusting and I felt horrible. I left early that night. It's a mood killer and it's not attractive.

Edit: I was wearing black skinny jeans, converse and a dressy top with no skin showing but my arms... it can happen with anyone. I wasn't dancing I was walking to the toilet...

6 years ago
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That sounds to me that the creep drank too much. A random woman stuck her tongue in my friend's throat, saying that she's excited for their wedding. He was not her husband/fiancee. A lot of people get touchy-feely when drunk. If you know them, address them with it. It's embarrassing, but I think it'd help him learn from that which could've easily been them just either making a mistake or letting alcohol control them too much.
I have a friend who, when drunk, becomes very.... close with you. He literally gets in your face and asks you the dumbest shit like "Do you think conservatism is the reason why canned fish (conserved fish for us) is becoming more expensive????????". It's annoying and he never learns, so people stay away from him when it comes to drinking now. But some people do learn.

6 years ago
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i don't mind if they take a look at me, i also do it just to know who's getting near me. but when they stare at me, that's gets uncomfortable.

6 years ago
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That was the answer I was hoping for. One, so I wouldn't be labeled as some creep, but also because I think that'd bee too far.
Thank you for the response. I recommend pepper spray, just in case.

6 years ago
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yes, i always carry spray. pity it needs to be used at all.

6 years ago
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It's a pity, but it's the world tbh. Just as there will always be wars in the world, there will also be assholes. It's just the human race. We can try and improve it, but it's almost impossible to get rid of it entirely :/
Hope you won't have to use it though.

6 years ago
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You know, I've been sitting here, going through comments and seeing many others say they don't really see it where they live; and I've been agreeing with them all. I think I've only ever heard it a few times over the years, and they were mostly limited to whistles instead of anything obscene. All of them were either drinking/partying or acting as a giddy group (usually a group of girls - but you get giddy groups of teenage boys that think they're cool too, hah).

The most obscene shouting I've heard was from a group of partying girls that looked to be on some sort of hen night; and though it's annoying to deal with a loud pack of girls, you can't expect anything else when they're partying to celebrate the night before a marriage, and you happen to be cutting through town around all the clubs.

But then reading your points on southern (warmer) countries, I recalled my time in Greece. There were groups of young men (still adolescent I'd say) that were being pretty obscene in broken English to pretty tourists - it was quite jarring to me as it was in the middle of the day and they were completely sober - I remember having a low opinion of them. So I wonder if it's just part of a more outrageous outgoing culture that some people do not click well with.

Thinking about it, I know people that are anxious when interacting with strangers in relatively timid ways, so it follows that others feel the same sorts of anxiety when interacting with strangers in ways that don't mesh with their personality - whether it's this more outrageous cat-calling or not (though I still personally dislike the thought of it).

On your encounter with the woman at the window. It surprised and maybe shocked you a little. I'd say your "whoa!" was an appropriate response, hahaha. You can't really be blamed when she was the one to expose herself at the window, and it sounds like she had a good chuckle over it too.

As for checking out people, there's nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Though if you notice there's a wedding ring, maybe it would be a bit more respectful of you to cease! Interesting distinction though. To me, it's not the "showing interest" that's bad, it's just the vulgarity and disrespect of the more obscene shouts.

6 years ago
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I wonder if it's the climate or something with those cultures? More sun, more warmth tends to energize people more. Seems like it's just excess energy or something that they're misusing.
But you do have a good point that it's most likely also a personality clash. Extremely outgoing people will probably not mesh with introverts and that's just how it is. I know women who revel in the the fact that in a night club she might get a few free drinks or a quick little "Hey, you look hot". Well, 2 women, but still :D
I think the wedding ring rule is a good one. Though it shouldn't be a social no-no, it shouldn't be socially encouraged for sure.

...although, that reminds me of a really weird encounter that I had a few months ago. A husband and wife (they seemed to be at least, maybe they were just really close friends) were walking past me. I'd say they were most likely in their early 50s. Anyways, while walking past, the woman literally slid her tongue on her lips while checking me out, saying to his husband, "he could join us". I held in my laughter, but jesus was that weird :D
Also, just so you know, they weren't those "good looking swingers" or whatever. They looked like quickly aged middle-aged people. To me, it was funny to see the kinkiness on some older people (I'm 18 btw... :P)

6 years ago
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considering that I've heard stories from my sisters (from their vacations to places like Turkey, Spain and Egypt) that made my blood boil. Men there just seem to be much more aggressive.

Yeah, "catcall" checked the dictionary about this word and I think it means to whistle a girl/woman with a guy with her here in Turkey and you'll unlock "broken bones" or "blood spilling from stomach" achievement. But if she is alone, god help her... I wish all harrassers die.

6 years ago
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I know it's not related to the thread much but "She found me on Facebook," How did this happen or did you skip a part? lol

6 years ago
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Right, I'm actually not 100% clear on that myself either. I never really bothered to ask, but of what she told me without asking, is that we have a common friend. We had 2 common friends at that time, so I'm guessing that what she said was actually the case. I'm pretty sure I know which one, but it's probably pointless to start giving you names :D

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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This sums up my opinion well πŸ‘

6 years ago
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Oh my god yes.

Literally I was walking home one night and it was late. It had been a 5-6 hour journey with very heavy luggage... walked past a pub and a man said "fuck sake lass crack a smile"

It's just not okay to say. I hate people who are like that

6 years ago
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this so much..

6 years ago
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I would love to watch this bit, but I can't find a video of the source. Do you by chance have the source?

6 years ago
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Sorry, I've been away for a couple of days.
I'm not sure the quote belongs to Louis, most likely someone did a meme based on his Of course... but maybe bit. Still, I haven't watched all his shows, so it's entirely possible he did say it.

6 years ago
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Because I'm tired of getting catcalled and watching others in the street receive the same treatment, I decided to share some information with everyone in SG hoping that they can stop doing it and/or talk to their friends to make them reconsider their behavior.

"Hope is a bitch." The reality is that majority of people who do that kind of thing are primitive and that's the kind of people that's very hard to reason with, it's the kind that's not very open minded and they are more likely to get annoyed or mad when you tell them that what they are doing is wrong, rather than actually reconsidering their actions and trying to understand what the issue is.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have made the thread and that this kind of threads and movements are pointless, because while they probably won't change the mindset of a lot of people, they are still worth making if they change the perspective of at least a couple of them. But yeah...

6 years ago
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I think the bigger problem is that the majority of people who do that kind of thing are actually a vast minority of all people; so you end up preaching to the choir most of the time.

Unless of course you live some place that apparently is rife with this sort of thing, but I can't personally vouch for any of that. In this case, it's probably more productive to create a discussion that's local and therefore more relevant.

6 years ago
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Bump for awareness.

6 years ago
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Come to Finland. We respect personal space and don't want to talk to strangers unless we really have to.

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6 years ago
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Sounds like a great place to live in! :D

6 years ago
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That must be some kind of dream land, especially if you can find that much personal space in the crowded cities. Population density is 2600/kmΒ² where I live...

6 years ago
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Hehe, I beat you! 2786/km2 :P

6 years ago
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Funny thing is we are from the same place :) and actually metro or district density is much higher than that like Kadikoy population density is about 19000/kmΒ²

6 years ago*
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Lol, I thought you were Russian and was wondering which Russia city is so damn crowded :D

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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Haha!

6 years ago
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seems like a very nice place ;D

6 years ago
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I agree. I find it horrible how these crazy outlanders always engage in harassment by small talk. And even savonians do this... It's unacceptable and we should take a harsh stance on this very much unwanted attention. It's just something that shouldn't happen in civilised places...

6 years ago
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I like these funny pictures, but regarding the topic, people who don't harass others tend to think that problem does not exist, when it still does. Sure, it is much better here than in a lot of places on the globe.

Then when it comes to "different" people - homosexuals, transfolk, sometimes just strangely looking persons etc., there is still a lot of harassing. Not something anyone outside of these groups can notice if not paying attention to it.
And when woman looks beautiful and groomed, it can turn just terrible. Nasty words on the street, some creeps following you. In situations when there is clearly a possibility for offender to commit a crime and likely remain unpunished, it is obviously dangerous. It is really great that most people don't try to engage in melee range in daily situations!

6 years ago
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that was my country 30-40 years ago but somewhat things changed. i suppose a dictatorship that destroyed education and cultural values kinda affected our future generations...

6 years ago
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Awareness/Attention Bump Lugum sent me. ^^

6 years ago
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I think this is cultural, this never happens where im from (Norway), I dont think I have ever seen it happen. Why? Because we dont talk to strangers.

6 years ago
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Vulgar shouts and (mostly sexual) movements are obviously a harassment which is neither nice nor tolerable and shouldn't happen but do you (people) also regard a whistle as harassment? Of course there can be types of whistling that would be considered harassment, especially if followed by some movement of the body but I can also see it as a form of appreciation, a sort of "you made my day" type of gesture..You all know that those days do happen and a pleasant presence, much like a beautiful sight, can brighten up some of the grey.. I have never whistled like that but I have witnessed an appreciation from women with either a gesture or a -hidden to the other person- smile, as a reaction to such a whistle. Mind you, it did sound more like a "thank you" whistle rather than a "get over here"(Scorpion?!) one, it wasn't followed by anything else and both parties continued on their way. Or maybe it was the exception?..

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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It's so weird to see that people have such problem in other countries. In my region everything is reversed, it's extremely rare to see anyone not just say compliments, but even talk to stranger without a really good reason. That's why I'll be single forever, it's impossible to say nice words (not harassment, just how beautiful she is today) to girl in public places, because it would immediately bring everyone's attention and you'll probably receive indifference reaction (like "okay" or "sure") from this girl at best. Our people become very self-centred and don't care about strangers, preferring to talk only with your close friends and relatives.

6 years ago
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It's a good thing. Unnecessary approaches after all is a form of harassment. It's something we should move to stop. Everyone should be left alone in public. As anything less is rude in extreme.

6 years ago
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Everyone should be left alone in public

Not directly related to the subject of this thread, but when travelling there are many opportunities to talk to strangers (both male and female), in public. If you follow the above sentence as a rule, you'd be missing out on a lot of what makes travelling interesting.

6 years ago
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But random people are harassing me we when they talk to me in public. That is something absolutely unacceptable and we should not allow it to happen.

If some people don't want to be harassed, it's small sacrifice for everyone else not to harass anyone by not making unwanted approaches towards strangers.

6 years ago
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Assuming you're not joking, I only have one question to you - have you ever started a conversation with a stranger?

6 years ago
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No, why would I be so rude and harass them?

6 years ago
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Ok.

6 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 5 years ago.

6 years ago
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I mean in general places like restaurant, public transport and public areas. Pubs might be different as those are gatherings of druggies anyway... In many cases some interaction is acceptable, like asking for directions. But even then it should be kept to minimum.

6 years ago
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So that 2 hour chat I had a few weeks ago in CΓ’rΘ›iΘ™oara (Romania), with a couple of local tourists that stayed in the room next to me, was something I should have avoided? They approached me btw. I was waiting outside my room to have some issue with the shower sorted, and they saw me and suggested a glass of wine. I guess I should have said no.

Or the long discussion I had earlier this year during a cooking class in Nyaungshwe (Myanmar) with two med students from HK, about every possible subject beside cooking, was also something I should have avoided. I should have asked for different partners (it was off season, so it was only the three of us in class).

If this is your attitude toward interaction with people, I think you're missing out a lot of what life has to offer.

6 years ago
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They absolutely should not have approached you, it was extremely rude thing to do and essentially harassment, just because you were fine with end result doesn't make it a good thing or right.

6 years ago
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The last thing you can say about this lovely and hospitable couple is that they were rude, but it's clear that the gap in our views about this subject is too big to bridge. I just hope you're content with how you do things. I know I am.

6 years ago*
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And I hope you now see the correct way to do things in future. It's just extension of what is stated in this thread. Basic logic that everyone should follow for better more inclusive world. And not too much to sacrifice for any good person.

6 years ago
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Well, then your hope is unrealistic, because I'm convinced in my ways, and in the ways of every other civilized person who doesn't only interact with people he or she already somehow knows.

6 years ago
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Yeah, and ruins the day of many who want to just to be left alone and not be harassed. Fearing for their life if they don't part take in friendly manner. As you can not have knowledge what sort of issues people approaching you these days have...

It's something that we in world should really really work on to make it better more inclusive space where people wouldn't need to fear being outside resulting in some bad people harassing them. And in the end down sides from people not harassing others in this atrocious way are absolutely non-existent.

6 years ago
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I assume you have friends? If so, how exactly did your first interaction with them go? They were strangers to you until that moment, but one of you actually had to open their mouth and say something. By your standard this makes them guilty of harassment. Luckily most of humanity doesn't share your view, or earth would be a very cold place to be.

I keep wondering if there's some communication disconnect here, because your use of the word "harassment" and the actual interaction between civilized people that I'm referring to have absolutely nothing in common.

6 years ago
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You are correct, I'm referring to interactions in places where there's an opportunity to interact, and it's not limited to the scenarios you listed. It can be a train cabin, a cooking course or any other site related activity. Obviously if the people one talks to don't show interest (hint: if they give short answers and/or if they're not smiling), one should respectfully move on. From my experience however, this doesn't happen most of the time. People are usually happy to talk to someone from a different country and a different culture. I can't count the number of times I had great conversations with people from other countries while travelling, and it's definitely one of the things I like the most about travelling.

6 years ago*
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6 years ago
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Bump for awareness!

6 years ago
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Screw you and your feminism, racist feminism in fact since all the initial street harassment video were made, debunked or even revealed by the creator to be racist oriented.

I care about world crisis, hunger, handicap, violence, rape...but damn do I not want to hear about that odious bullshit street harassment.

6 years ago
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Oh boi...

6 years ago
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Dear Mully,
I envy your braveness and your strength! To make such an awesome statement shows me, that you have been through a lot. Most people would let it go, because it's normal, which is just one way to cope with such things. But I hope, and there are many great people, who f**ked this bitch named hope, that some people will appreciate your braveness and change their behavior or gain the strength to open up too. Never stop believing and never stop to fight for your rights! Rock on!

I haven't read everything, but some people asked, why people are doing that. Well, it all comes down to one thing: power! Further more, to have power means to be in control of the situation and to feel, that actions aren't random, but created by oneself. This is a very important feeling in life, since we all want to have security and a certain amount of prediction in our life. One way of getting those feeling is due hobbies, work, relationships. Getting the feeling of doing something productive and on this way self-empowerment. Another way, and that's the case here, is to "power down" other people, to gain power. And the easiest way to do so, is to disrespect persons, who have less power then oneself. In many societies women have less power/privileges then men. Children have less power then adults. To gain power or to maintain power in this case, is with the usage of violence. But violence doesn't always mean to punch someone. Violence can be physical, psychological/emotional and of course sexual.

To catcall another person has always the risk to reduce the person to an object. This is independent of the persons sex and gender, but the structure of power/privileges in many societies makes it usually more easy for men to reduce women as an object than the other way around. And Mully is simply right, by calling catcalling harassment, because that's what it can be! It is really simple:
If you catcall a person and the other person likes it, it's no harassment
If you catcall a person and the other person doesn't like it, it's harassment
You want to know how you can make sure, the other person will like it? Well, you can't! And a smile or giggle doesn't automatically means, that the person liked your catcalling. It can be a smile of shame. Have you ever been in a unpleasant, shameful situation? Did you laughed? Well, it wasn't probably that funny at all. While one person gains power, the other person may lose power. THIS IS REALLY SERIOUS! Losing power means losing self-confidence. Worst case scenario is to feel powerless which can be a traumatic situation. Many people have experience mobbing in their youth. Catcalling has the same effect!

What does that all mean?
That catcalling is another way of gaining power over another person with the intention of reducing the other person to an object.

Why are people doing it?
Insecurity, the lack of self-confident. Why catcalling a person and not going to this person and talk to him/her? Because they are afraid of rejection. And rejection would mean, in their world, that they are worthless. Catcalling has nothing to do with self-confidence!

What can people do, when they see, that someone is catcalled?
Go to the person who got catcalled. Asked this person if he/she needs help or support. Too often, we're thinking about the aggressor and forget the affected person. And spread the word like Mully did! She is not alone and it's our responsibility as members of the society to fight for respectful and equal rights and behavior. The only way not to lose power in these situation is to maintain or gain power. And the only non-violent way is due to empowerment. That's what Mully did here.

And she did a great job here, now it's our turn to do something against catcalling/sexism/sexual violence.

What can I do, if I got catcalled?
You decide if it's hurtful to you or not. If it isn't: good, but don't forget that it can be hurtful for other persons. If it is hurtful, talk with people about it. Mainly people who will understand you. Think together about good solutions to maintain power in these situations. If you have no ideas or need more emotional support, you can contact counseling centers. If you live in Germany, you can contact me and I can name you a few things. But most of the time, google is a good help to find help.

Never give up, never give in.

peace

Oh, and one more thing: to say that catcalling is only or most of the time used by a certain kind of men with a specific cultural background: that's simply racism and you're doing the same thing: reducing people! Racism can't be an answer to sexism!

6 years ago*
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+∞

6 years ago
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thanks for the kind words ^^

View attached image.
6 years ago
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Bump !

6 years ago
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In my country it's pretty chronic too. I've seen guys chasing after a girl and then trying to hold her hand while he asks for her number. We're pretty culturally diverse here, so any attempt to address the issue across the colour line gets the response... "Go away, this is my culture".
Also part of that 'culture' is AIDS, orphaned children and rape apparently...

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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Catcalling is so weird to me. Like, do you really expect a random woman to be all over you just because you made some creepy comment about her or whistle after he like an animal? It's such a weird mentality, I wonder if it ever worked out for any of the guys (or gals)
I've never actually seen anyone get catcalled and don't hang out with people who would do that kind of thing (I hope not, at least). I can't really put myself in your shoes (I'm a dude, we rarely have that sort of problem, at least not where I live) but I can try to empathize. I know it's an issue and I hope we can fix it

6 years ago
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Even though mostly people who say things to me are somewhat polite or trying to be nice (exception for example was a man that was masturbating on the street in broad daylight, said something vulgar and tried to follow me), it's still quite annoying for me. When I'm outside I just want to get from point A to point B, with as little human interaction as possible. And then some people have audacity to grab my arm to get my attention >_____>

6 years ago
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I didn't read all cause just woke up, but yeah, I'm a man and it sucks. My mom could be considered a MILF and I did wanted to kill a few guys when I was younger. Almost did. But my mom told me to ignore this when it happens. My dad on the other hand, it's a different thing.
I did got my harassment quota from a few girls, years back, and it wasn't comfortable, but it's not comparable with the amount and disgusting level the woman receives every fucking day.

6 years ago
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bump

6 years ago
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love bump ! awareness rules!

6 years ago
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bump

6 years ago
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I will never have a chance to get catcalled but I can imagine how uncomfortable it is. Why would people want to do that!

6 years ago
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Closed 5 years ago by Mully.