Capitalization is a waste of time
Well, in my opinion, the best way to "don't be harassed" is to have a real man near you.
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Are you a fucking troll? Or are you just that much of an ignorant asshole?
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I think the best way to not be harassed is to not accept behavior when someone harass me and have society that is not fine with it.
Same as the best thing you can do against bullying in school is to tell bullies to stop acting like that, and punish them if they don't stop. Instead of telling victims they should avoid bullies or defend themselves, answering aggression with aggression.
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It's true. But if you are a week woman (or a week kid in bully version), you can't do anything (well, theoretically you can, but practically... ) to your "enemy". That's why you need somebody strong to help you to deal with "aggressor".
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But why go for "answer aggression with aggression" option, when we could simply teach young boys it's not ok to harass others, and punish "grown up" men for doing so?
It's better to get rid of root of the problem instead of trimming branches and complain our work is never done, as main stem and roots are left intact. And will create more branches just like weeds that spread around if not removed properly.
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Of course you can. But what about boys with "bad" parents? Father's example make all your education useless, because family are most important part in education. It's like about smoking - you can tell and tell and tell, that it's bad, but if boy's father smoke, there are 90% that boy will too.
And what about boys from ghetto or "bad" districts? There are too different life rules to teach them that it's good to be good.
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Everyone else that wasn't raised with "bad example". And society as a whole has as much influence as your family. Because you spend a lot of time among people in schools, in shops, out in public.
Same as you call out and chase pickpocket that stole someone's purse. You don't give them free pass "because their father raised them that way", you call them out and react.
People don't smoke "because their parents smoke". They smoke because their friends do this "to be cool". That's why most of people start to smoke when they are teenagers. So this argument is not valid here :P
And "people from ghetto" should be called out by people that aren't from those ghettos. So like pretty much whole society, those "bad areas" are minority.
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"And society as a whole has as much influence as your family.". No, it's not. Otherway I have to be very bad man. =)
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Thank you for your post on this, I know my response was crude, so thank you for taking the high road and actually explaining the real lesson to be learned.
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Holy shit you are an idiot. You tell me to go to school and don't even spell the word "weak" correctly. You shouldn't have to rely on one person to protect you, you should feel like society as a whole supports you. Even having people with you doesn't stop shitheads like you from doing stupid stuff like catcalling. It's okay to not be smart, but its not okay to remain ignorant and bigoted.
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That's why I say "go to school" to you, kid. You can't take a part in discussion, May be you learn how to do it in school. May be not. Second, i think. Because you IQ is quite low.
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I'll keep it short, but I think this thread is great and has a really important message, and fuck anyone who complains about it. Catcalling is a shitty thing to do, but people can be assholes. I'm a dude so I can't empathize very well (it would be insult if I said I could), but I do sympathize.
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Something for some boops for the thread.
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Here too? Sure!
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Bump for awareness, good job in raising and highlighting such issues.
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few days ago, Fyantastic-o-Ei-fu-Mod, used the word "empathy".
we all need more empathy.
[Toazzle](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/MYEVQ/toazzle) Lv5 | caio | July 13
[Elbub](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/U2al3/elbub) Lv5 | caio | July 13Comment has been collapsed.
Sorry for the late reply. Steam Summer events took up much of my time last week and I did not want to write a simple reply. My personal experience isn't much of Catcalling but it was a bad harassment experience.
I have a "neighbor" whom lives in same block of apartments, still does. Sometime ago, I used to greet anyone sharing the same lift with me out of courtesy. Slowly this "neighbor" whom lived in a higher floor, starts trying to talk to me more. He even mentioned he was a "friend" of my father, not that it even matters to me. He never once visited my apartment. I asked my dad and he mentioned, just a neighbor like anyone else not "friends".
One fine day, I was at the bottom of my block going to shop for groceries and I met this "neighbor". He called out to me but I decide to ignore as I am starting to feel uncomfortable with his constant greetings and extended "chat". Out of surprise, he actually grabbed my elbow from behind, tried to stop me and wanted to talk to me. I pulled my arm away, looked back and started walking away. He was saying that he's a friend of my dad's why am I being so unfriendly.
By then you might have thought he would have learnt that I have no intentions of speaking further with him. I even tried different timings to go out to avoid the chance of bumping into him as it would be awkward. However, whenever I go out for groceries at different times. I still managed to see him. He would called out to me repeatedly "Hello" since he asked for my name but I declined previously.
At 1st I thought he was just being too friendly. At times I would take an alternative route to get my groceries but somehow when I look around the surroundings he was loitering around. I feel he was following me. There was instances when he was returning from a market nearby but I am going to. He would turn around, follow me, try to strike a conversation and kept talking. He may also be across the street, start calling out and wave at me. That is easier to avoid though.
There is an instance when I was walking towards the market, he was walking his dog. I decide to go to the direction without detouring as I feel I will just ignore him as usual and go on my way. This time round there was 2 ladies in my way and I had to slow my pace down. He went on with his "hellos", both the 2 ladies turned and looked at me, I just pretended I did not hear anything. Man was that awkward, I am not the person that did the awkward but I was feeling very awkward in the end.
I, simply to this day Do NOT understand why he was so persistent and simply Do Not understand I do not want to strike a conversation with him. The last straw came when I was wearing a sleeveless top as it was a hot day. Coming back from groceries shopping he came up to me keep talking away. Then he mentioned it seems I have been exercising and touched my shoulder. I walked up the stairs and he was looking up the stairs even when I totally ignored him.
He grabbed me once, touched my shoulder without consent, even if he is an elder "neighbor". Gives him no right to do what he does. He is just being creepy. All this happened for a period of 2 years. I have told my parents about it. You might ask why don't I just Man-UP! The reason being I have lived in the estate for a long time and will continue to do so. It is pretty obvious to Everyone except him that I Do Not feel comfortable. His "hellos" kind of gave me shivers when I hear others say "hello", thus I kind of relate it to Catcalling. I finally told my dad to tell him if you try touching me one more time, I will call the cops. No more "good" neighbor.
After that warning, I happened to bump into him again. This time he looked at me in disgust, tore a piece of paper in his hands and cursed in my direction. At that moment, I was very happy from my heart and was relieved. In 2 years time, the kind of harassment that I had to go through had finally ended. All this was because I live in a good neighborhood and want to carry on with being a good neighbor.
Looking back, there are funny instances where I can laugh about it but it is also the mental harassment that bothered me for a while.
In the End, I will like to extend Respect and Love to Anyone whom experienced any form of harassment. Cheers <3
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yeah, that's creepy. the fact the guy didn't get a hint you didn't want to talk at all just shows he doesn't care what you think, and on top he grabbed you... π€¦ββοΈ
hopefully you won't have to deal with him any more.
thanks for sharing your experience! β€οΈοΈ
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Yes, and I am a guy. I consider myself to have a friendly look as everyone seems to think I am approachable and friendly. I met him and his family one night when I was out with my father. Seems to have a perfect family. As much as a lady feels uncomfortable about with awkward approaches, same goes with me. Yes, he got physical too, if he was not my neighbor I would have reacted angrily.
I . . . still have to deal with him. Time to time I still see him, both of us still stay on the same block. Just that if he tries to approach me again I would tell him off in the face instead. The relief I get from this episode, noone should experience any sort of harassment and should speak out or speak to someone.
Thank you for giving me a chance to share my experience and the awareness too!
Loves and Cheers,
Cruse~
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better bump now before sg--morality-police bans it! π±
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[Morningstar: Descent to Deadrock](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/R24DV/morningstar-descent-to-deadrock) Lv1 | canis39 | August 9
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π Giveaways (moved to top for convenient leeching π):
If you want to share giveaways, please use this template:
copy everything inside the ` (even the opening/closing `grave accents`), edit and and paste it in your reply
Please use the format provided above! It's easier for me to copy-paste multiple giveaways in this thread. π€
It will take me a few days to update the list. To avoid having your giveaway not "showcased" set its duration to more than 5 days (unless you don't care, it's up to you).
Because I'm tired of getting catcalled and watching others in the street receive the same treatment, I decided to share some information with everyone in SG hoping that they can stop doing it and/or talk to their friends to make them reconsider their behavior.
Street harassment is unwanted and unwelcomed public attention, most often directed at women, which is demeaning and damaging. Itβs not a private matter but one that should concern everyone.
If you have trouble empathising with strangers, then think about your mother, sister, or girlfriend. Would you enjoy watching people catcalling and telling them nasty things? How do you think they would feel about it?
On an average day I go out twice and I get at least one guaranteed catcall. On weekends or when I go out, for example to a club, it gets worse because groups of people feel more empowered to do so.
A few months ago I was walking with a friend and one guy said things and started to follow us. After a while it ended with me turning around and pepper-spraying his face, then running away in case he could fight back. This is the kind of violence it generates.
We had a rough rest of the day and were shaken up. I didn't enjoy doing that at all, but he had to be stopped. I also like to think the guy didn't enjoy it either.
So in the end, what did he achieve? Nothing.
Edit
OK, I'm gonna clear this up since some people like to assume things just to blame me for defending myself.
For the backward people, this was in june when I wasn't wearing "provocative shorts and t-shirts" clothes. These are the "nice compliments" I got amongst others i don't even want to repeat here and/or I want to forget:
hey girl nice butt
does your friend wanna F with me too?
hey reply bitch
come here lesbos!
GONNA EAT YOUR ASS
Walked one block with that guy which was 1 meter away from us. He wasn't shouting from the other side of the street, he wasn't half a block away, he wasn't sitting in the sidewalk. He was right behind us.
He got warned to leave us alone during the whole 1-block fast-paced walk. I didn't stop to "discuss" because I'm not a 1.9 meters 120kg guy, so I'm not putting my friend and I at risk at 8:30pm in the street.
You read the "You're not alone" thread?
Well, most of the stuff that I shared about me is linked directly to an experience related to this, but I wasn't walking with a friend and there were two guys instead of one following me. You can guess what happened next since I wasn't able to defend myself.
But of course, street harassment is harmless and nothing else can go wrong, nor it can trigger unhappy memories from past experiences.
Think a bit before judging others so quickly assuming they overreact when they feel in danger.~
I know I probably won't convince anyone catcalling to stop by posting this (it doesn't hurt to try), but if your friends or co-workers do it, you can persuade or talk to them and see if they get it. There's nothing worse than being in a group of friends and allowing them to act like idiots.
It's disgusting and demeaning, stop it. You're hurting people with your actions and makes you look like a fool.
β€οΈοΈ FAQ, in case you're gonna post one of these comments I get all the time.
- But some women like to be catcalled!
Yes, there's also men that like to get hit in the face with a hammer. So using the same logic, I should go out and hit all men with a hammer in hopes they enjoy it?
- Don't be so sensitive, ignore it.
No, it reaches a point it can't be ignored. It's not an isolated issue once per month or in certain situations so you can avoid it. It also affects me a lot depending on my mood, so when you feel like crap and you get catcalled, things get worse.
- So you want others to come to your rescue when some stranger catcalls you? That will end up with me getting in a fight!
I'm not asking people to fight for me, just them to stop doing it, spread the word, and discourage people in their group of friends from being disrespectful.
- If you don't want to get catcalled, dress appropriately!
1: Don't blame the victim.
2: I dress as I please. It's my body, not someone else's.
3: It doesn't matter if it's winter and I'm wearing a jacket, or summer with shorts and a t-shirt. Some people will be idiots anyway and say things.
- I bet you like it when a handsome guy catcalls you!
Irrelevant. I expect respect from everyone.
- What about men? They also get harassed!
I'm very aware guys also get harassed by both men and women, but this thread is about girls. Feel free to create another thread for that issue, and I will support it.
- So this is just a misandrist rant!
It's not. If you feel targeted by anything I said, then it's not because you're a man, it's because you actions ressemble what it's said here.
- Meh, it could be worse.
It could be worse, but it SHOULD be better. Also, normalizing this behavior makes it even more painful for victims.
- Women also catcall!
I never said they don't, but for each woman that catcalls me, i get 500 guys. So the issue at hand is the one I shared.
- This thread offends me!
That tells a lot about you. Log off, take your time, and think about it.
- This thread is inappropriate for SG, please close and delete it!
Go tell that to all other threads about awareness, politics, religion, sports, disasters, etc.
π Some info and articles:
Stop Street Harassment
Wikipedia definition
Documenting women's stories of street harassment
Why we need to take street harassment seriously
Dutch woman faces down her catcallers by posting selfies with them
π Videos:
Au bout de la rue (Court-mΓ©trage) - france
10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman - usa
Woman is filmed walking London's streets for secret documentary - uk
Male actor dresses as woman to experience sexual harassment - egypt
Sons React to Their Moms Getting Catcalled - usa
π And some pictures:
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