Weird Internet Connection Issue

Greetings, Steamgiftians. It is I, Zed the Dead, return to the forums because of an important question that I'm not quite sure how to ask anywhere else so screw it it's going here.

I'm staying in a dorm over the summer. While the accommodations are decent, there is a killer problem: The internet is... weird. It's not slow; things download quite quickly on Steam and I don't have any problems with browsing the internet or even using Skype. The issue is that in any game I play I just... stutter. Terribly. Every few seconds goes something like this:
Half second of input.
Second of freeze.
Half second of input.
Second of freeze.
I've noticed this stuttering on other things, but none of it is as disruptive as when I'm trying to play a game. There will be times where the connection clears up for a few seconds or minutes and everything is flawless... and then it suddenly regresses in quality and I'm in the land of dial-up.

Here are a couple of things to consider:
My wifi signal seems strong. The indicator is at full strength, and I have a strong, reliable even (in that it reliably doesn't work, but it's not like noise where sometimes it will be slightly affected, it's all or nothing) connection.
I don't have access to the router, an ethernet port, or an alternative connection.
Skype, for some magic witchcraft reason, is usually fine. Occasionally it will struggle a bit, but only after performance in other things has reached a particular low point. I mean to say that it's not affected by the connection issues, even when everything else is crawling, even things that ostensibly have little or next to no traffic usage.

Things I've tried:
Using a VPN. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it hurts, and I don't think it actually has any impact on the situation in terms of traffic. If anything, it usually causes Skype to suffer from connectivity issues, but it's hard to tell because dial-up mode can cause that anyway.
Speed tests: Ping is very low, often below 1ms (which seems impossible, but that's the result I'm getting).
Blood rituals. I even used a darn good goat. Rest in pieces.

If anyone has any ideas (or knows any games that wouldn't be affected by such an odd issue) let me know! I'll take basically anything. Alternatively, I'll just find some place to leech good internet, but that might take days and be rather inconvenient.

Giveaway: https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/RVdog/steamworld-heist

Update: I believe I've found a solution using a VPN and some settings. The issue seems to be traffic shaping, but using a VPN I was able to circumvent the throttling and gain +2 evil points for intentionally bypassing a network security setting.

Update 2: Checking with Archi, he suspects the issue is UDP throttling. When setting up my VPN, I set it to use TCP ports, which increased latency but also probably bypassed the throttling on accident.