has anyone actually figured out how dota 2 is played because its the one game i cant figure out

check out this, it should explain it for you:
http://www.purgegamers.com/welcome-to-dota-you-suck#.UT2KElccOIk
Definitely worth sticking it out.

Your first time playing a ARTS/MOBA/Dota-style game?

This is what most people recommend for newcomers.
http://www.purgegamers.com/welcome-to-dota-you-suck#.UT2J9hyUcrw (same link as above)

There's also a loads of videos (DotaCinema & PurgeGamers comes to mind) & guides (DotaFire or even ingame guides). The tutorial system for the game is still a work in progress, which is one of the main reasons the game is still in beta, while the mentoring system hasn't been implemented yet.

To start off, after completing the first stage of the tutorial (only stage you can access at the moment), play with & against AI bots (choose the easiest difficulty 'Passive' to gauge how good you are, before gradually increasing the difficulty all the way up to 'Unfair'). You can also play co-op games against bots, where it'll be 5 actual players (you included) against bots, which will help familiarise you with communicating and reacting (bots can't do that properly).

If you can, play with friends of similar skill to you or a notch above you, so that they can help guide you, as well as facilitate a easier and more relaxed game, rather than one where you're spat on by your team.