So?
I didn't believe in it until I found it. I went from literally not believing in the point of marriage to being engaged in under two months.
If/when you meet the right person, everything changes.
And no, it's nothing like what you may think it'll be like
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This pretty much, it's very easy to feel like it doesn't exist, because the amount of decent people you meet for certain standards decline heavily the closer and higher you get to purity, innocence, romance, etc. At the moment I'm single as well, looking for true love. I say looking, but there's a degree of knowing that what you're looking for is a two way thing that can't ever be controlled naturally Just live life the way it makes you happy, pursue whatever other goals you have and hope for the best. Life is very harsh, if you give it your full attention, you'll lose your sanity eventually. .
Apologies if thoughts are random and scattered, didn't really put much time into it in addition to being distracted. :P
I don't believe there's a single person meant for you. There's just more than a few folks that have a high compatibility with you, some extremely high, such that you almost feel like the same person. This can easily work and also easily fall apart. This is also why you get blown away, if you believed such things couldn't happen. When it does, the best thing to do is take things as they are and appreciate them.
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Yeah, I think that'd be a better description, "true love" is kinda stupid.
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you did notice the "typo"?
found try love
sorry ;)
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That's the way it usually is I believe. Relationships are rarely equal. Liking people really sucks.
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A lot of men seem to lack the ability to understand a woman's reactions and mistake kindness for more than it is.
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I mean, I wasn't even talking about romantic relationship or what one party recieves as romantic and the other not. I have "friends" who claim they're my friends or they like me then ignore me 80% of the time. And they flirt and talk to and hang out with each other all the time and just ignore me.
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Hmm... that's not good if they're friends... I too had friends that only know you if they need something. Really sucks...
"combined with my social anxiety and shitty personality I doubt I'll find anything close to what I hope for nor an unexpected relationship either."
Social anxiety can be sort-of-trained. Over here we've got a site to meet up with people and just do things (see a movie, go to a dance, go karting, take a walk, anything). It helped me to improve my social skills. And shitty personality? Unless you're beating up everybody you see I'm sure you have bright spots as well!
For me starting Salsa classes helped a lot! I meet new people,and just have fun dancing. And I met my current girlfriend through salsa (and me previous girlfriend through that site where you can meet up and do things with unknown people).
" I have a crush right now but that relationship would never work so I won't pursue it. "
As I said in my own post, if you're connecting with somebody, thinking it won't work out and don't pursue it you'll be presenting your true self which may just help! Unless you're crush is married or something. That would be difficult ;)
You're cute. I'm sure you'll stumble onto somebody when you least expect it!
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Well I can't even open the door rn, so I got a long way to work and not a lot of time.
And I am usually self defeating, but this crush alreaey has 2 partners and I'm not poly as much as I wish I was so.
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What is love~~? Nah, i think love is an human invention, just chemical stuff :p
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Cant hurt you if you dont join the chat
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You can join the chat too! :o (i meant quips chat, since Max abandoned us)
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Eh, I never know what to say. Also, I don't think I ever even opened a group chat!
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Well, if you dont scare of lewd stuff (thanks archibot and delta) is a nice place :p Also you can just read, a lot of people do that xD
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Yeah, let me rephrase that, Love,for me , is the sweet term designed to dessire another human being :p (yeah, im excluding waifus and apache helicopters)
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Heh. Sounds like something Static-X would sing. :P
R.I.P. Wayne Static
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If by true love you mean romantic love then no, I don't believe it exists. Being in a relationship is much more than romance or infatuation and in the long run it consists in wanting to share yourself and what you have with someone else and being the happier for it.
I've been in plenty of relationships and I've been over the top in love with some people for a little while but that state of things never lasts for long in my case. At the moment I can say I am very happy with my 6 year long relationship (a record for me) and I can't see that change in the foreseeable future.
In the end, the most sincere cases of "true love" I've experienced in my life was with my first cat while growing up and now with my 15 months old daughter :)
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Whatever you want to call it.. I do think I that found it. I have been with this amazing girl for over 3 years, then I proposed to her. It has been a year since the engagement and our wedding is planned for this September. I make her happy, she makes me happy and we want to keep it that way for as long as we will be able to :)
Oh and the "funny" thing is that we are each others first real partner excluding highschool crushes. Neither of us were searching yet we found each other and it just happened!
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Wow. I Made this thread to bitch and moan 'cuase I'm a cynical mofo, but it's nice too read something good. Congrats and good luck and good fortune with your lives.
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Haha dont worry about it. I can see exactly where you are coming from. The skepticism / cynicism is quite understandable.
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Not sure about what true love is... but over the last few weeks I've stumbled into a relationship with a woman which I never thought would work... Neither of us thought we'd fall in love and have a relationship... but we just did. Probably because we both weren't pursuing it, we acted natural and that did the trick.
Is it true love? Will we get married and have kids? Time will tell.
But for now, it feels nothing like my previous relationships. The connection is much stronger.
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I was with a girl about 10 years ago who made me feel buzzed, like an alcohol buzz, any time we were close.
Not sure if that was love, but I do wish I would have pursued it further.
I'm happy now and to be honest I don't even remember her name or think about her, but it's a "could have been" for sure.
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I believe in soulmates, being drawn together, the connection, i met mine.
But it doesn't automatically mean you are destined to be in this life together though, you might be spending (past) lifes on dancing around eachother.
I don't know if there is 1 soulmate or more in one's life, i think often that's why relationships crash, because they just think they be alone (for the rest of their life) otherwise, they will just take someone, and i will pass on such relationships, i need to feel something special, and it's not often i feel that for someone.
Don't let one bad relationship dictate the rest of your relations, especially make the same mistake over and over (like women going from one bad abusive relationship to another), learn from it.
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Love? ain't got time for that, there are videogames to be played!!!
;_;
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That's about as depressing as something the author who wrote the book I stole my screen name from said about it. I don't remember the exact wording, but he described the person you love (or the need for someone to love) as the need for a combined:
"A pillow to cry on and a mast***n tool"
I try to not be quite that pessimistic, but love is at least not like in the movies ;)
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I agree with you (and the song), but I think it can be approached from two different angles, one made because you really like the other person and want to spend a lot of time together with them, and one because you fear being alone and not finding anyone else who will spend time with you.
Sadly a lot of people go for the later, and stay in relationship for far too long because of this fear.
And the "forever single" often does the opposite mistake, they are so concerned with finding the perfect partner who they unconditionally love, and who unconditionally loves them back, that they do end up being lonely, because they don't take the opportunities that are presented to them, always finding reasons for why they should not (try to) get together with someone.
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He argued that the need for a relationship pretty and the feeling of love was pretty much the same thing. Or well, at least his character did. I'm not sure how much of those were his own views, but considering it was a recurring theme in his books, it's probably not too far from his own views.
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I don't agree with him either, the song lyrics just reminded me of what he said about love. Sadly he passed away 10 years ago, so we can't really ask him for clarification either.
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True love? Hmm, no idea what that even means. Love is love.
Do I believe some love is stronger and better for you than others? Sure.
Obviously some people are going to be better suited for one another.
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True love is reciprocal and close to equal In my mind. But yeah using that phrase did not make the question as clear like I hoped it would be.
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Okay, as long as you said "close to equal", I guess I can say I believe in true love by your definition.
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I believe in true love, but I'm no longer going to look for it.
The only way I'm going to be in a relationship of that nature is if a woman confesses to me this time.
My last one lasted 3.5 years and she broke my heart and shattered my soul.
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True love is reciprocal and close to equal I guess? And love like those may still be valid but not necessarily good. Tho tbh im not sure they're necessarily bad either. The happiest I've ever been was being taken advantage of by a manipulative sexually abusive girl. I felt loved and cared for even if it wasn't true and destroyed my soul, body, and morality. It made me happy so why is it wrong?
"Good" relationships are so much pain and I always fuck them up or am discarded for someone they care about more. I'm always left, I'm only good for a distraction when they can use one. Why should I go for that? How is that better than fake love?
And my crush wouldn't work for many reasons. She's poly and I unfortunately am not. We also have different goals in life. Well actually we have the same goal but wanna liveon opposite sides of the country, and I plan on dyingin 12 years also so. And as of now I can't support myself and I don't expect them to support me so I gotta get a job.
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I believe "true" love, by my own definition, exist, . Though sometimes it isn't something you just find and strike you, it is sometimes something you build.
Personnaly i am not searching anymore for it, i wasted enough time on girl who in the end were not worth it in my opinion, and i have yet to meet someone corresponding to my criteria so i am just enjoying things like they are while just hoping the slight chance that i met someone happen.
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I also believe, that true love exists but not in a sense, that if you found that special person you will spend the rest of your life with them and it will be the most fulfilling interpersonal relationship you could experience, but rather in a sense that it can be found in the moment.
I think that people have the capacity to change themselves and that your feelings towards the other person might evolve into something different or fade. That still wouldn't change what you felt and experienced in the past. I think you could have more than one "true" love during your lifetime if you don't focus on a fixed idea of what love truly must be like.
TL;DR: Ramble.
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What is true love? You must first define what you mean before I can comment on it.
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True love is reciprocal and close to equal I guess? Just pretend I said love instead.
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Sure I believe that exists, it can be pretty much demonstrated that it does. What you describe I would call a healty relationship.
I do think that if you geniunly believe you will never find it you need some work on your self esteem. I worked on that almost a year ago and what happens is you stop caring so much about what other people think. You make decisions more based on what you want instead of what you think others would like you to do. To quote the song everybody's free to wear sunscreen, "do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly."
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No such thing, it's just chemicals in our brains that get us on a natural high.
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The most important step to make somebody love you is to make YOU love you. Once you'll love yourself other people will follow - trust me, I've been there too.
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I hope not, 'cause that'd be an unfortunate stalemate. I think I need otgers to love me before I can love myself.
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Others do love you. The thing is whatever they're gonna do to prove it to you, you won't believe them if you won't start love yourself first.
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Found it, messed it up, probably not finding it again. But I had my chance. So good luck for finding it and doing it right then!
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I am still trying, I believe in it, but I am not trust anyone anymore.(
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I will let the great poet Haddaway explain:
I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong?
Gimme a signAs for true love, just because I can't see, feel or touch it or have any evidence of it, doesn't mean it can't exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I've felt it once, then it slipped through my fingers, and now I think I'll never find it again.
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I was inspired by this thread. I'm interested in ppeople's veiws on relationships, not just their plan for them.
Have you found try love? If you haven't, do you think you will? Do you even think it exists?
I believe that "true love" exists. That there is someone that adds value to your life and genuinely lives and cares for you and you for them. I don't believe it's destined with soulmates or anything tho. There are many people that you would have that relationship with, you just have to find them.
But For me, I'd don't believe I ever will find it. The relationship I dream about is so fantastically improbable and combined with my social anxiety and shitty personality I doubt I'll find anything close to what I hope for nor an unexpected relationship either. I have a crush right now but that relationship would never work so I won't pursue it.
Honestly tho I don't care to find true love. The happiest I've ever been was in an fucked up lie of a relationship. I'd rather that fake love because it felt so good while real love hurts so fucking much.
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