My friend bought me this game. We are no longer friends.
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That's awesome, as a reviewer I'd love to meet them both.
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No :)
A game so bad that it has been removed from steam:
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It wasn't removed because it was bad. Valve don't give a shit about that.
It was removed because of review manipulation. And Valve do give a shit about people who push bad inputs into their crappy precious bot algorithms. (Or people who stir up enough of a public controversy, but that's a slightly different topic).
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well, there was also quite a lot of public controversy regarding this particular game ;p They've sent out review copies to YouTubers, but when found out reviews were negative they falsely DMCA'ed the very channels they've sent copies in the first place. It ended up with quite a lot of outrage afair.
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"How do you remove a game from your library? Im afraid my friends will abandon me if they know I own this...."
same game
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Uninstallation went suprisingly well!!!
I'm fond of that one from that game, myself. =P
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lol, even "positive" review sound like these:
Like Masturbating with sandpaper 10/10
...
If your The warden of a prison, use this as a alternative method for The electric chair.
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The "my friend got banned" ones are not brutal. Especially since the "friend" is usually "me on my other account".
I'd say a brutal review's minimum requirement is being angry but still cohesive. I did it only once, but the game kinda begged for it. A brutal review is something you would say "it is like as if Jim Sterling wrote it!" Something that tears into the game and the people who made it. Bitching like a spoiled sissy boy over personal petty grievances is not brutal, it is usually just pathetic.
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Why did you give it 3%? I've seen a fair few people who use very small decimals to rate games, but I never understand why. Do you have a system where each category has a certain percentage that it can get? What makes a game 2% and not 3% or even 1%?
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It is usually just a gut feeling, also takes into account the game genre and tries to position it inside said genre. Also has kind of an eyperience thing in it, I also did quite a few reviews on the old Reflexive Arcade before it bit the dust.
In this case, the last sentence explains the 3% though. =)
Nowadays I try to round it to 5%, with a not-so-great success. Unlike Angry Joe, I do not think that a x/10 or x/20 system can differentiate games enough.
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I don't usually shill my own stuff, but for me, this might be a "brutal" review. Basically i got the game for free and even when buying, it would've been only a dollar. Yet I still basically dismantled most of it while giving the whole "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed" routine.
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Oh man, I love writing ranting negative reviews when I find truly awful games. I try to give good attention and love to the great indie games I find, but when you get to the awful stuff... well...
Green Moon
Rescue Lucy
GooCubelets
Only If
Summer Nightmare
There's others, but those ought to get the idea across.
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I actually look forward to reading your negative reviews and funny screenshots :P
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I appreciate that! =D It helps to have people enjoy them!
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Christ, you played a game that can last 7 minutes? The things you have gone through, man.
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What's that a reference to, Rescue Lucy? You can speedrun it in that time, I'm sure, but when you're walking around and trying to figure out what's going on without any prior knowledge, it's likely to take a bit longer. =P Doesn't change the fact that it's a terrible game~
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April 1st is a nice day to write a review, because this game is a joke.
(review actually posted on April 1st, of course)
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All of that is pretty pathetic. Watch a Razörfist video review if you want some verbal violence.
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If its a negative review, i think the least i can do is offer some constructive criticism. So i often ignore writing for trash games that cannot be salvage. with that said, if i'm ever in a bad mood, i´ll just write insults towards Microids, i hate that publisher!
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I think it's worth writing for trash games as well to point out why they are as bad as they are. It can help educate people on what not to do for games. I also like warning other people to not buy or waste their time on said games.
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Ok - that's new for me. People usually hate EA or Ubisoft. Why Microids?
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Microids hold some classic IPs and have done nothing with them besides bad games and broken ports.
I still hate the fact that steam didnt remove Motoracer collection for having missing files. Someone posted a fix for that collection that is nothing more than some files and an actual launcher window that was taken from GOG (different publisher), thats just glorified pirating.
Games like Garfield kart dont even run at a stable frame rate, but apparently where good enough in their eyes. They will publish just about anything
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Games with missing files? I thought that only small and shady devs do things like that. Apparently they really don't care xD
Steam could use some real quality control. Heh.
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For me, one of the games didnt work, the other stutters, and the anniversary is just a mobile port.
The GOG version runs at 60fps, while the steam version seems to be locked, that is, if its even working.
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That is just plain stupid. So they are able to make game run properly... but for steam version they don't care. Maybe because GOG is much more "brutal" when it comes to introducing game to their store. For steam it's like: "pay 100$ and you can sell your game, even if executable is sold as separate dlc".
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Exactly,GOG as standards.
Through some search, it seems Microids was aquired by Anuman. The team that ports and publishes these games on GOG.So to be more accurate, i think i hate them. Not the old Microids that doesn't exist since 2010.
What i dont understand is why they have different ports and versions of the same game.
Dracula trilogy is yet another that came to the Steam store with missing cutscenes, but its perfectly fine on GOG.
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Maybe that's some twisted way of increasing income?
"Lets sell crippled games on steam. People will read that they work on another store and they will buy them there for second time."
Heh - yet another case that convinces me to not buy games on steam.
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I agree with you. This is especially helpful if the developer responds and uses the feedback to improve the game in future patches.
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Chrono Trigger was given a pretty flawed port (which they have been slowly patching into something better to be fair) and earned an absolutely flawless review in return.
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I wrote a not so nice review for 4x4 Hummer after I bought it 8 years ago, and recently deleted the review because the game was removed from the Steam store years ago.
It was honestly the worst racing game I have ever played, and I've played hundreds of them dating back to the late 80s. :(
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Id read it ... but any site that redirect me to an abriged version of the LoTR trlogy lenght ToS page ... i just dont visit anymore
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I'm going to guess mine here; Toki Tori 2+ applies, though you probably find more in my reviews, none probably reach this size of a rant.
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Excellent! I have not played that game, but you provided a great example of what the game did wrong.
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I can't remember what game had this review but I saved the text. It went like this:
"My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this game gave me cancer anyway."
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This sounded familiar, so I did a search on it and found it used on a game called "Amazing World". It's probably been used on other games too. It seems to be copypasta.
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One wonders why they think paying to get their games on Steam is a good idea in the first place. I guess trading cards really get you there.
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I had to write a negative review for a game recently. I won it here long ago and I thought of going 100% on each game I won here. After countless tries and getting fed up with the issues of the game I just couldn't get myself to care anymore which resulted in my review for the game.
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/567600/
Others that I could mention here are these:
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/546660/
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/539720/
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/377160/
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/433350/
https://steamcommunity.com/id/flymetothemoon/recommended/730/
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My personal fave, one I found for X-17:
"Avoid this game at all costs. Avoid this game like leprosy. Like ebola. Avoid this game like an extinction level viral infection. Do not buy this game. Do not play it. Do not attempt to reason with it or make contact with it.
This game is so horrible, so disjointed, so lacking in direction and polish...it should be a Keter class SCP."
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That is a great review for X-17. I loathe it for many reasons, especially the plagiarism, but it did lead to at least one funny set of LP videos (which is how I know about it in the first place). XD
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I've gotten a few of my negative recommendations banned. The people that put out the trashiest non games are the ones that are most sensitive about being called out for putting their garbage on steam.
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I don't understand how these weekend project developers get the money required to publish their garbage on Steam consistently.
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I don't consider it brutal necessarily, but one of mine may or may not be a candidate.
I like to try to give games a chance, especially ones that are really cheap or even spam, but this particular dev had done some things that irked me. I can remove this if it's considered calling out, but this dev also happened to be the one behind Active Shooter (name blanked out by me, just in case): ""This developer and publisher is, in fact, a person calling himself ----, who had previously been removed last fall when he was operating as '[bc]Interactive' and 'Elusive Team'," a Valve rep explained.
"He is a troll, with a history of customer abuse, publishing copyrighted material, and user review manipulation. His subsequent return under new business names was a fact that came to light as we investigated the controversy around his upcoming title. We are not going to do business with people who act like this towards our customers or Valve." "
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Calling out is for users on the site, not the trash of the industry. Ata Berdyev is already down the drain, mostly because of his horrible ethics and "games". He still has the rights to not to be personally harassed (as every person has) but otherwise he really worked for to be called troll and being infamous in the industry.
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Fair point. I was fairly certain that rule was only about users of the site, but wanted to take caution regardless (plus, for all I know, maybe he does have an account somewhere on here :p).
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Not really "brutal", but I think it's one of my best reviews, as far as how broken a game happened to be
Ultionus: A Tale of Petty Revenge
I would really give it a new try, but... just read it :D
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Here's my honest but unpopular opinion: https://steamcommunity.com/id/aalmos/recommended/17470/ . Sadly the downvote mountain was axed by volvo.
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I think this might be called brutal in some sense:
An amusing game, if you are amused by awful controls, abhorrent jumping mechanics, buggy camera, puzzles that you solve without knowing why, dull story, and unfunny jokes.
Other than that, it's rather unamusing.
However, that was written long before the frantic inundation of Steam with rabid trash, so the game is actually not so bad by today's standards.
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Bleh, Jack Keane. I pretty much abhorred the first game, so it's no surprise the second game is still quite as bad.
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Most of those reviews the person got banned or something and it was 100% their fault but they vein innocence. Much like really bad Amazon reviews with "it came broken" but the picture is clearly way too fucked up for that to happen.
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I wanted to start a fun discussion about negative steam reviews you have written yourself or found on Steam. I enjoy reading about complaints and some of them are accurate and others are just mean/brutal. Post any you find that you think are funny or just Mean/brutal. Some consistent complaints for games is boring, controls are bad, rather play xx title, and not worth the price.
I would suggest leaving off the rater's steam username unless you posted the review yourself.
Here is an article describing reviews: https://www.pcgamer.com/steam-study-finds-users-leave-negative-reviews-more-quickly-than-positive-ones/
Here is one I found for a popular Game:
This game is crap dont waste your money on this crap my friend got banned for literaly nothing he had not taken any money from hackers or even had hacks this is just stupid that how he has to restart all the way form the begining of the game.
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