If EO4 appeals to you more, I know which one I would pick. Also its slightly cheaper.
I have FE:A, but the reason I got it was the fact that I love the FE series. If a game appeals to you more than the other, then get that one.
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Edit: My bad, I read DS.
I never got around to ET. I have both, but I gotta say the FE was only because I'm a huge fan of the series; it's a remake of the NES version.
I recommend Valkyrie Profile. I'm not done with that either (my backlog transcends system). But it's multipath (huge plus from me) and well built so far.
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Prices: A new copy of Etrian Odyssey IV is $44 AUD, while Fire Emblem: Awakening is $64 AUD new & $58 AUD preowned (Overseas copy is $54 AUD).
I've tried both demos, and for some reason the EO4 demo seems to appeal to me more (I guess part of the reason would be that the EO4 demo seems to offer a lot more bar the fact that you can only try it out 3 times as opposed to FE:A's 10 times - I really wish EO4 had at least 10 tries).
I'm pretty much a novice when it comes to both games (I've can't even get past 3 days on the first stage in Lunatic mode for FE:A, while I've deliberately ran into those big bunnies and kangaroos in EO4 for stupid reasons). Even then, despite me being a total noob at both games, I've quite enjoyed both demos (though I'm not sure how much of a representation the demos are of the full games).
For those that own one of the two or both, what have your experiences been with the two games?
(I posted this to r/3ds but no one answered...so I'll try here for suggestions/recommendations)
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