Hey there everyone, I have come across a very beautiful, nice and super sweet cashier at a Frys food store that i think is extremely cute that just started working there. I got to talking to her cause she carded me for an alcohol purchase i made, well she had noticed that i am already 21 and that she is going to be 21 this Sunday. On top of that she had said she just moved here from Montana and doesn't know anyone other than her family. Id really like to take the steps necessary to show her im interested in getting to know her without sounding like a creep or a stalker lol.

Does anyone have any ideas on how i should go about potentially asking her out or even a way that i should ask if shed like to do something special for her 21? I have never been in this position before and im really wanting to make an attempt at a friendship or even a relationship. im not used to the whole dating thing and how it goes lol. I would loved to have given her my number but at the time i had no clue if that was the right step lol.

Any help would be much appreciated :D

Update on how things went:

Well just an update as to what has happened recently. The cashier did turn me down. But im honestly very glad it happened cause i was introduced to a girl by a friend and we hit it off very well. since this post ive gone on 2 dates with an amazing girl with a great heart and she is just as into me as i am with her, Today i was invited by her family to be apart of a family only bbq so i feel very special. Even though things didnt work out with the girl i had originally posted about things happened in an even better way. It just goes to show that everything happens for a reason even if you expect it or not. in my case it was something that happened when i least expected it and couldnt be happier

9 years ago*

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I would avoid suggesting doing something special for her b-day right away. That'd be kinda weird. You've just met, so you should just ask her out for this friday or something. Talk to her then, and ask what she's planning to do.

9 years ago
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very true. thanks for the imput

9 years ago
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It sounds like everything's going your way. She's new there, so you can just suggest to show her the town.

9 years ago
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that would be cool. i afterall i do have a vehicle now

9 years ago
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offer to show her around since shes new. take her someplace active or fun. "hey i was thinking of heading out to (enter some place here) this weekend did you want to join me?"

the only real regrets we have are the things we didn't do.

9 years ago
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Ask first what her plans are for her birthday (preferably without being obvious :P).

9 years ago
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I'm going for a beer later. do you want to join me?

the trick is not to rehearse, cause than you'll forgot your lines ;)

9 years ago
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first things first: NEVER expect NOTHING from NO ONE. you only get deception when you expect anything from someone else.
go to her considering that she might not want any kinda relationship (even friendship).
if she wants anything, lucky you. if she doesn't, you already antecipated it...
this tip will help you act cool, with no pushing, bad acceptance, deception or anything inconvenient like that.
once you been thru the very basics, just go foward and do what you want to do in your own style. :)

9 years ago
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I understand, thank you

9 years ago
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Triple negation? Clever!

9 years ago
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NEVER expect NOTHING from NO ONE

YES! A triple negative! So I guess you should always expect something from someone?

Anyway, "Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment".

9 years ago
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Close. NEVER expect NOTHING = ALWAYS expect SOMETHING is correct, so the full statement would be equal to
ALWAYS expect SOMETHING from NO ONE.
This statement only regards the subset of NO ONE, therefore it actually says nothing about the actual set of ANYONE.
(Expecting something from no one doesn't affect whether we expect anything from anyone.)

9 years ago
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Mathematically you would be correct, but to be fair a "normal" triple negative would give a different connotation to a phrase.

For example, "I don't think this is not unusual" would mean that I don't think it's usual, or that I think it's unusual. It was seen sometimes in the Victorian Era when idioms such as "not unseldom" were in use (although not very common I presume).

So the last part is made positive by the double negative, but then turned negative by the first negative -- in our friend's case, "never".
It would read "Never expect something from someone". Which, if you ask me, still does not make much sense.

Well, that's at least in British English as far as I know... no idea if the Americans have their own triple negative rules.

View attached image.
9 years ago
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Your example is a true triple negative, while the one that OP used is more like a double negative combined with the set "no one". So I think we're both correct, but your example cannot be applied directly to OP. :)

9 years ago
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boohoo. my keyboard, my rules.

9 years ago
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I thought that was a Brazillian keyboard. It should follow Brazillian rules. :D

9 years ago
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I think my cellphone oppened a reply box to the wrong comment xD
brazilian rules means no rules at all but shhhhh it's secret

9 years ago
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first things first: NEVER expect NOTHING from NO ONE. you only get deception when you expect anything from someone else.

oh my, that's what i do when entering giveaways :3

9 years ago
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Just do it! She's new - you have large preference. But I think she will celebrate her BD with family so try to catch her on the evening and show best place in town like a present.

9 years ago
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very likely, so just ask her if shed like to hang out sometime?

9 years ago
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Yeah, ask her what she likes, say that you like it too and look for nice place for warm conversation. I don't recommend to hurry cuz you can scary her if she's shy but use your chance.

9 years ago
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very true, when she had said she just moved here and doesn't know anyone i had instantly related to her cause i know what that feels like. if anything i would love to be a friend so that she doesnt think everyone here is a jerk lol.

9 years ago
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Good luck, mate. You know what to do. Have a sunshine Sunday ;-)

9 years ago
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thx, i appreciate it

9 years ago
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Only piece of advice I can give is that if I make another post in this thread with an advice of any kind you should do the exact opposite. Sorry.

9 years ago
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ok haha the opposite got it :P

9 years ago
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+1 Everything that everyone has said already.

But if she's talking to you already and chatting with you, not necessarily a bad thing. :)
Just be natural and ask her to hangout with you sometime so you can show her around....
Worst case scenario, she says no.
Best case scenario, she says yes.
Greatest Scenario, she likes you :)

Just remember, be natural. Otherwise it's a deception in the long run.

9 years ago
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yeah, you are right, its just a No, nothing to be afraid of there lol

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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LOL

9 years ago
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You could invite her to some event that's going on around your area, and at the same time take the opportunity to show her around. It's worth a shot if you're interested, rather than regretting it afterwards

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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As keohookalani said, be natural, don't pose, don't fake to impress. If you want a real beautiful friendship/relationship you must show exactly what you are, otherwise it will come back to haunt you. Don't rush it. With great things you must have patience. Don't try to do something special before having a relationship of any kind, it's awkward. And also be positive, treat every no as new opportunity for a yes somewhere else. Now I start to sound like a mom :). Good luck!

9 years ago
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that is awesome, thanks for the wise words lol :D ill make sure if she does wanna hang out that she does see the real me, not some fake person.

9 years ago
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all of that in like 10 seconds, thats the time for a girl to decide if you go to the friendzone or no

9 years ago
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Whitelist her

9 years ago
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Well meme'd!

9 years ago
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+1

9 years ago
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9 years ago
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that was good lol

9 years ago
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Kinda missed your best shot when she said she doesn't know anyone there. Could have offered her a tour of the town ^^

9 years ago
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Agreed, she already put it out there and you missed the early window. This being said, there is still hope for redemption, but you are going to need to be cool about it.

Hopefully you left a positive memorable impression on her one way or another... women tend to remember little things like body language and if you smiled with your teeth or not.

Yes, they are crazy.

9 years ago
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Simple, just be your self and ask her out nicely as a friend and get to know her. Then just move forward from there.

And please for the love of all things holy, don't rush anything or try to do anything special for her birthday or anything. She is (at the most) an acquaintance. Doing stuff like that will come off as creepy ( and frankly speaking it is ).

You said she is new right? So take her around and help her get used to the place or something. Become a friend first, so even if things don't work out as a relationship, you still get a friend out of it ( which you can never have enough of ). Someone new to place would be more interested in friends before jumping into any relationship anyway.

Cheers and good luck!

9 years ago
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"Hey, would you like to get a coffee?"

9 years ago
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Well, the first and most important part of attracting a female is body language. You must caper up to the female, all while elevating your tail and slightly curving your neck. This confident body language clearly expresses your mating preparedness. To seal the deal and make extra sure she realizes what you want, you can also make neighing sounds and thump your legs onto the ground.

Sorry no real advice. I'm 16 and have never dated :p

9 years ago
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use this gif, it never fails (at least for me :3 )

View attached image.
9 years ago
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worked for me too XD

9 years ago
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Have a friend kidnap her and then save her right before he murders her. Use a real gun for the best effect. After that, asking her out is like a walk in the park.

9 years ago*
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+1, the best advice so far.

9 years ago
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9 years ago*
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Just ask her on a date. Avoid her birthday in any possible way, she will probably have other plans if not, you two sill don't know each other that well. Also, no city tours... you want to be her boyfriend, not helping hand when she needs something. State your true intentions as soon as possible, and get on with a life in one or other way. This is because girls tend to think you want to be friend with them. You can ask her on date to some nice spot in your town as romantic gesture....

Just don't stall and good luck....

9 years ago
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10/10 she has a boyfriend.

I once met a girl who "just moved from X" and I asked her out next day for a coffee, she said " sorry, you're really sweet but I have a bf". FFS I fucking hate girls that makes a BF the second they get alone. I lost all my interest in her after that anyway but if you NEED a BF then I certainly have no interest in you.

If you're %100 sure that she has no BF; make her invite you to her b-day. Make yourself look resourceful and useful, tell her that you could buy alcohol with her if she needs someone over 21 to make the purchase. Small talk with her whenever you drop by, "Hey how you doing ? Do you need any help with anything ?" gets you a lot of points.

Worst thing you can do, which every amateur does, rush things. "HI I JUST MET YOU AND THIS IS CRAZY SO HERE'S MY NUMBER CALL ME ON YOUR BIRTHDAY TO GO SOMEWHERE TOGETHER AND DO SOMETHING." is literally the worst. She'll celebrate it with her family, just try to get an invite. If you meet her family, they all will say nice things about you to her. Unless you're a giant douchebag, every family likes young boys that shows interest in their daughter.

TL;DR, get her number (on 3rd seeing-each-other, not first or second that's a rule), make her invite you to b-day, be helpful and resourceful, be a nice gentleman near her family. Aaaaand you'll be the first mistake of her on her new life.

9 years ago
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seems you have been so single lately but i'll tell you something [yep i'm 18 and i thing im old enough to help out]
you just met her and you're going to ASK her, this might be too early for that, i guess

9 years ago
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There has already been some good advice given, but specific prompting would really depend upon what your intentions are and how serious you want the relationship to get. Getting to know someone for a long-term relationship is different than "getting a date." If you really think that this is a person you want to know for the next 20 years, then what you need are some guidelines, not tips.

  1. THERE'S NO HURRY. Your focus is on getting to know the person, not "a date." Dates will happen naturally without being forced. Keep in mind how you behave when you're making friends with a non-romantic interest to determine what is "normal" for you. There's no hurry. You can expect to see him or her, again. (e.g. Having a pleasant chat is as good as a date if you remember what you learn about her.)

  2. START SMALL. If you do "go out," it should be casual. Start small, and that will gradually lead to more involved dates. The purpose of a date is to spend time together so you can learn who the other person is. It is not some kind of do-or-die test to determine if you will ever get married. (e.g. Getting a cup of coffee, sitting together in the cafeteria, or just walking to class together can all be considered "dates.")

  3. DON'T FREAK. She has already said "Yes" to you, more than once. If she stops to talk to you, if she smiles when she sees you, if she keeps turning up in your location, she is giving you signs that she is interested in finding out more about you. There is no need to "push it" by being overly aggressive or pretending to be something you are not. She is already expressing interest in you as you really are. Keep providing opportunities for her to say "Yes." If she has to turn you down once in a while, try to have at least one alternative ready so she can say "Yes" to that, instead.

  4. BE A MAN. You are not a puppy dog following her around, nor are you her girlfriend who shares everything with her. You are a man, so act like one. If you haven't yet mastered the balance between being independent and being friendly, think of this internal monologue. "I'm going this way. If you'd like to come along, I would really enjoy your company because I like the person you are. If you'd rather not, however, that's OK, too. I am confident and happy enough with myself that I will be just fine pursuing my path without you. Should you change your mind, you can always find me here."

  5. KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. Your heart pounds, your hands sweat, your head spins, and you lose your ability to speak coherently. Yes, this is all exciting stuff, but it isn't love. It is infatuation, and it will wear off, sooner or later. Love is something completely different. Love is a calm feeling that is much stronger and more difficult to come by. Love is based upon knowledge of a person, warts and all, while still caring for, appreciating, and respecting the good qualities within. When you reach a point where you know someone and respect him or her, you make a decision (consciously or otherwise) to love that person. After that, it is a matter of nurturing that love or letting it wither and die.

9 years ago*
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Man, I would use some of this advices for myself, thanks!

9 years ago
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I'll add. Don't declare yourself EVER. Talking about love and infatuation doesn't work. The movies have ruined us. You can talk about it, AFTER you kissed her.

If a girl is interested in you, will let you get closer, and will be totally OK about be with you in private. If you cuddle a little, and she lets you, both bodies will do all the declaration of principles needed. A movie in a couch, a shared couch in a party, a walk in the park... Anything to get closer. There is no hurry, but don't expect forever. Make your moves. Small ones.

And you don't have to force any of this, if she doesn't want intimacy, you'll notice. No is no.

And if you invite her, and she says no several times, move on. She is not interested, and there is not perfect plan or a perfect phrase that changes this. Yes, you can insist, or be friendzoned, but this is not worthy of your time.

9 years ago
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Be cool and honest. Something like - Hey, I know it is your B-day this friday, and I kinda figure that you hardly know anybody here. Would be a shame not to celebrate, I mean, it is not everyday you turn 21 is it? So, if you are interested, we can hang out together? Good luck dude.

9 years ago
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Closed 8 years ago by DeathbyQuigley.