Apparently support does...
Please refrain from using pejorative terms within the community. We do not tolerate the use of ethnic or homophobic slurs.
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The support are actually neutral. If someone got offended by a word you used and reported you, you'd get punished. But if it comes to the case where no one paid attention, you're safe, indefinitely.
Edit: notice I said indefinitely, because there are some people who would literally go through all your comments in the past 500 years just to get a reason to report you.
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What? Sounds like you said I'm simultaneously safe forever and not safe at all ?:/
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Not really. I literally mean what I say there. You have the right to be offended by my correct use of punctuation, or my avi, or my lack of a 6-pack.
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I've had that sort of thing happen to me a few times, not anymore now that I've put a password on my computer though. I'm glad everything got sorted out.
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I don't really think saying your friend posted it is taking full responsibility.
Also I don't really know who this apology is aimed at, I forgive you I guess?
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I'm saying that any consequences are rightfully deserved/given (already got a 2 day ban). Just because he posted it doesn't excuse the fact that it was posted to my account. It's aimed at anyone who cares.
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You made excuses. "Faggot ain't really offensive," and "I didn't post the message." Adding those excusees doesn't seem like an apology or you taking responsibility for your actions to me.
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I think the latter is a relevant thing. The first not so much. It's simply bringing out the facts (assuming he is telling the truth ofc). I would never blacklist someone who didn't personally write such a comment, because they really did absolutely nothing wrong.
I was once suspended because I posted a link to a pic in tinypic, and someone else had added rude tags there. Support didn't know anyone could add the tags and thought it was me. My suspension ended right there, rightfully.
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a guy that sits next to me in class did it while I took a dump
We all know this is untrue. No one goes to take a dump without their phone.
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I'd like to say that I'm sorry that I left my laptop open and that someone used it to insult someone else.
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I'd say it is. I just don't want people thinking it was me, because it wasn't. I can still be sorry for what someone else has done lol.
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YEAH! People should feel marginalized AND LIKE IT!
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oh cmon now. thats not what im saying at all. but all this, oh you cant say or do that, you might offend someone is bullshit. youre offended? you have two choices do something about it, or not. but to say 'im offended' is just like whining, it serves no purpose.
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I'm mainly apologizing because apparently this is a big no no. At least according to a support member.
Please refrain from using pejorative terms within the community. We do not tolerate the use of ethnic or homophobic slurs.
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I was recently told I can no longer discuss politics at work, because the fact I dont like the candidate most of my work prefers, offends them. I told HR to piss up a rope, and try to actually limit my right to free speech. The PC mentatlity, and this tiptoe through the tulips so we dont fracture some precious little snowflakes view of the backyardigans world they imagine life to be, has gone too far.
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To be fair, discussing personal politics at work has always been a dumb idea.
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I agree, but after listening to hours upon hours of kids who barely understand personal finance of their own yet, tout the amazing world we would live in if we had a socialist president, sometimes you just gotta slap them with reality. Im not a trump supporter either before anyone starts in.
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...and discussing it on a video game forum is a close second.
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I'm mainly apologizing because apparently this is a big no no. At least according to a support member.
Please refrain from using pejorative terms within the community. We do not tolerate the use of ethnic or homophobic slurs.
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You do realize that political correctness can only exist in a society where first there is some sort of consideration of the marginalized and excluded, right?
The reason why PC culture didn't exist years ago is because everyone who was marginalized and excluded was just supposed to take it.
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Perhaps so, that does not however make it a good thing. Besides, dont you like know who the racists, bigots, sexists, etc are right up front, instead of thinking someones a great person only later to discover, they are actually walking sacks of crap, because they start to feel comfortable around you and let the real them out?
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No one said it's a good thing. Political correctness is responsible for a lot of ills. But political correctness is the side effect of inclusivity--not the goal. It is not the disease--it is a side effect of the cure.
That's not to say that there aren't sometimes ridiculous incidents that defy common sense--there are. But to go with my medical analogies a bit more, too much of a medicine that is very good at treating a serious condition may be harmful--even fatal. Still, an overdose that leads to a death shouldn't allow us to condemn the use of that useful medication entirely. That wouldn't make sense.
Also, I'm not sure what you mean by the second sentence.
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Ohhh, with two G's....I was wondering why you'd call someone a woodwind instrument
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So it wasn't you--it was your friend, and also that normally you'd tell people to get over the use of a term like that, but you respect people's right to be offended by "literally anything," but really it wasn't you and you're sorry that you left your laptop unsecured, but you like totally take full responsibility.
Legit apology.
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of course not.
But let's say you are offended when people wear red trousers; then you go out (like what would you even go out in the first place when we all have internet at home, but whatever, for the sake of the argument) and someone is wearing red trousers. Should that person apologize to you because they are offensive to you?
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No, but they should apologize if their red trousers called me a slur.
This is why tangential metaphors do not often work when explaining things.
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Knowingly doing something that will cause another individual notable distress or discomfort based on a belief system, cultural system, or their biology.
It's a bit more detailed than that, but, suffice it to say, it's a phenomenally simple concept.
If it's important to someone else, don't shit on it, and don't intentionally try to demean or insult or attack who someone else is, just for the sake of being an ass.
Is there any other merit to you calling someone an [eg, faggot]? No? Then you're doing it just for the sake of using it as a slur, meaning you're intentionally doing it to harm someone or get a rise out of them.
Don't try playing it off as being complicated, because people that use slurs (that they are aware are slurs) damn well know when and why they're doing it.
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Oh, sorry, you're poking at the exact phrasing?
Then no, I'll agree, getting offended over anything [without justification] is just entitlement or dickery, it's not in any way admirable.
Put in perspective, the kind of person that does get offended over anything, is the stereotypical rich person insulting their help because their pudding isn't the right firmness, their chair isn't the right softness, etc.
Clearly that's not admirable behavior.
I think, though, the initial statement you're trying to poke at was intended to only be directed toward the specific matter of slurs, at least in how it was perceived by commenters.
Though I'm hardly one to pick at someone for taking things too literally, so by all means, do make your point. :)
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"This is totally offtopic, but I couldn't dissagree more with you when you say people have the right to be offended on anything they want.". That was my first post. I thought it was clear but now I'm not sure anymore. What I wanted to comment was that that kind of attitude (getting offended by "literally anything") is not right at all. Something by the way that unfortunately I see way too often lately, not here on SG but on real life.
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It's more complicated than that.
Some of it is actual entitlement, sure. Others are gunshy over having been made feel helpless or demeaned regularly in life, often by the same people who are dismissing the right not to be slurred against. Some of it is society moving forward into being more respectful toward others on the whole, an old guard refusing to update their thinking to be more open-minded, and people feeling they need to be defensive of that progression because of the negativity the old guard gives it.
And, of course, there's actual critical concepts that aren't 'about anything' that people feel the need to defend, and that others dismiss just because they haven't gotten as good coverage as other slurs.
For example, Retard is not only a clear insult toward people with developmental issues, but it's also a severe insult toward people with Traumatic Brain Injury (ie, brain damage). So, is that less of a slur than faggot or nigger? To the contrary, it may even be worse, since TBI is something those suffering from it already feel helpless about, and it was inflicted upon them externally- there's no way to take pride in your status there, as there is with ethnicity and the like. So it pokes the very most vulnerable spots and defecates all over them.
I've found that, as long as you don't let it escalate, and take a moment to try and figure out the other person's perspective, then you'll usually be able to settle things to a more reasonable interpretation of matters
And, well, if you can't, then you just learn the other person isn't willing to try and develop mutual respect- that in itself is valuable, since you can then limit your interactions with that person, rather than risking future conflicts.
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What if you come from a culture where red clothing after a death means that the person is insulting your passed loved one, AND the person in question is fully aware of your beliefs?
Except, putting on clothing is something casual and indirect, and you could easily have not thought ahead about meeting up with the person later on, despite the significance of their recent loss.
(And, of course, perhaps the person in question has reason to wear red pants- it may act similar to a hijab in their culture. Respect for such things goes both ways. Of course, since its your death to manage, your sentiments ought take priority, so if the person feels they need to wear red pants, they can bloody well avoid you until the funeral is over. :X)
Meanwhile, a written or spoken slur is direct and personal and localized, so obviously it's intentional.
The problem with slurs is, they're NOT at heart related to a person getting offended. That side of the matter doesn't even need to factor in, when determining if the act is justifiable [though any empathically minded person would certainly factor such in].
What's important is, someone is deliberately saying something they know will offend and hurt.
Whether they can justify that [say, because they find 'The Religion of the Red Pants' a ridiculous concept] is irrelevant: They know they'll offend the person in question, so them acting surprised at the response is just them being an ass who wants to get away with being an ass by using broken logic to justify their actions.
tl;dr version: Intentionally being an ass means you're choosing to intentionally be an ass.
Any other factors are irrelevant to that point.
Or as another person once phrased it:
"It's not about being politically correct- it's about having a bare minimum level of respect for others."
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again, you are trying to convince me of something I agree with you :/
My point was more about, and trying with a different example:
I'm at a social meeting, and I'm making jokes about some basketball team that lost by 40 points earlier tonight, then someone gets mad at me because they are a big supporter of the team and my jokes are hurting their feelings/insulting them. Would you say they have the right to be offended and I should appologize? Because my answer is NO.
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I can't grasp social concepts like that, so I wouldn't even know what it meant to have a fondness for something like a sports team.
But I think you ought still respect the fact that they like it-
Rather, it's like saying "All RPG fans are idiots, how could they like that shit, RPGs are awful garbage".
(Actual comments Anime fans get regularly, so perhaps that's a better example :X)
Even if you don't like [that sports team], I'd assume their appreciation for the topic matter is still worthy of at least the minimal consideration of not outright disparaging the topic right in front of them, especially not in a manner that insults them as well.
Flip side, in the instance you're referring to, presumably you didn't know they were a major fan. So at that point, you apologize, clarify you didn't realize the matter was so important to them, and move on.
Or, you continue to confront them. That's up to you- but again, if you know they're going to get offended, and it's not something you gain anything by talking about, then there's really no justification for doing it unless your aim IS to antagonize them.
Rather, if you want your right to mock [which is never an admirable behavior] sports teams to be respected, why oughtn't you respect the right for others to not have you insult them over their sports teams, if you're aware of their preferences?
Two-way street of respect and all.
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in my example, it would be more like "I played Victor Vran and it totally dissapointed me, the game is super boring and after 30 minutes I closed it and asked for a refund", and then someone, who happens to be a huge fan of the game jumps on you, cause you are "insulting" something they really like.
There's no previous knowleadge that they would get "offended" by your comments, but still that person asks for some apology or whatever you want to call it.
In this specific example, which I know is stupid, even the previous knowleadge (of the person being a fan) would not be a problem for me for going ahead on the comments.
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That's not an insult, though, that's a personal opinion. Your disliking [apples] doesn't mean [apples are bad] or [people that like apples are bad]. It just means you don't like [apples].
An insult requires disparaging another person. ie, "Victor Vran sucks, so anyone that likes it must also suck."
Slurs are by nature disparaging, hence why they're an issue.
Do people have a right to get upset by disparaging comments? Yes.
Do they have a right to get upset by opinions? No, except where they devalue other people.
Either way though, while sometimes it's understandable for someone to overreact because of their previous experiences, and other times it's obvious a word would be insulting if you put the time in to think about it.
For anything else, it's not your place to have to guess what would offend them or not.
The conversation should go along the lines of:
"How could you say that!"
"I'm sorry, I don't get what you mean."
"Cockadoodle! I find that offensive, due to old linguistic roots that imply roosters are worthless creatures! And I think chickens are amazing creatures, to be respected!"
"Well..uh..I'm not entirely sure I follow, and I certainly don't get your perspective, but now that I'm aware of it and I'll try and keep it in mind in the future. Please feel free to remind me if I make the mistake again, and please don't take offense if I do, as it'll be on accident."
"Oh, okay. I guess I overreacted. I guess it is a bit silly, but it's important to me. Thanks for understanding."
See, ideal!
But no, obviously you're going to have even more ridiculous interactions with that. At that point it becomes a decision of what's more important to you, defusing the situation, and perhaps being able to work the person down to a more reasonable mindset on the matter, or calling them out on being absurd in their "Cockadoodle?! ONLY A MONSTER WOULD SAY THAT. APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!" response.
Though, if they're giving you that response, they're very likely not worth the massive stress and drama they'll invariably continue to produce, so you probably ought just excuse yourself and try and never interact with them again after that, anyway :X
Flip side, you ought carefully consider the matter, and see if they have justification for reacting so strongly- is there a reason they would feel that profoundly insulted?
Maybe look up 'cockadoodle'. Maybe it's as bad a slur as any other, and it's related to chicken abuse. You may not appreciate chickens near as much as the individual in question, but if that's a rare trigger for them, and a rare overreaction on their part, then you can at least respect their perspective.
Specifics are important.
If someone gets offended because you poke fun at a team's performance, that's them overreacting, even if you're the one who started it with mocking behavior. If they get offended because you insulted a team, that's a middle ground of opinion (perhaps they view it as disrespectful to the players who are trying their best. That's an admirable sentiment, I would think?), and you ought both respect the opposing viewpoint [much like fans of rival teams]. If you insult them through insulting their team, you're the one fully in the wrong.
Of course, context matters as well- is there a history of demeaning behaviors related to the word?
As far as a sports team, I personally'd think that jokes at their expense would be something to laugh off, but I wouldn't intentionally antagonize someone by insisting their team should be insulted, and that it's my right to do so.
Meanwhile, if someone asks you to stop insulting The Redskins because of their dubious name and behavior, then they in fact may be the one in the wrong.
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No. They aren't required to apologize. But I'm still allowed to think their red troser wearing assholes becasue of it..
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It doesn't much matter because that statement isn't sincere. It's just spin.
One can't respect people's right to be offended by "literally anything" and also normally shrug off a negative response to the use of a slur on a forum such as this.
It's like saying you respect someone's veganism but also that if a vegan asked why their friend invited them to dinner but didn't have any vegan options you'd say, "just shut the fuck up and eat the steak."
Doesn't go together.
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I'm sorry but english isn't my main language and I don't understand your message.
"It doesn't much matter because that statement isn't sincere. It's just spin.
One can't respect people's right to be offended by "literally anything" and also normally shrug off a negative response to the use of a slur on a forum such as this." <- don't get this part.
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You can't both respect that people have wide latitude to complain about the statements and behaviors of others and also state in the same breath that normally when you witness people make such a complaint you basically tell them to get over it. The two ideas are somewhat in conflict.
That's why I say it isn't sincere. Realistically, only one of those things can be true and I think it's the one where he tells people to get over it, it isn't a big deal.
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Words can really be offensive. I know because I have been called 50 different insults due to my religion. SG has always been a safe and friendly community. It's our responsibility to keep it that way.
It's good that you are taking responsibility. Hopefully the community will find it in its heart to forgive you!
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I'm mainly apologizing because apparently this is a big no no. At least according to a support member.
so that's the only reason you apologize
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Different words offend different people. But it's still an offensive word for the common people and it's obviously a homophobic expression. I wouldn't get offended if you would call me a faggot, but I would be terribly offended if you would call me a thief, a racist, a scammer, etc. As I said, different words offend different people, but still, it's the common sense that you shouldn't use homophobic expressions.
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“Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. I'm not sure that's the way to fight discrimination. I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech.”
George Carlin.
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Don't understand why anybody could be offended by simple insult on the internet. Especially "faggot". Isn't it normal way to call other users?
Your classmate is douchebag thou.
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Toats. He'll get a hard-boiled egg put in his bacpack. >:)
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