EDIT: Thanks for everyone's opinions. Most people on this site are very insightful, and that's what makes discussions like this fun.
Feel free to continue talking amongst yourselves, Thanks again!

So today I heard from my girlfriend that she's had 2 or 3 dreams of flirting with another guy.

This all happened while we were together, and has even happened recently. This other guy is a good friend of hers, and she has confessed to having a crush on him at some point before we were together.

So my questions are:
-Would you be bothered by your partner having a dream of not being faithful to you?
-If the answer is no, then would it bother you if they dreamt they had sex with someone else, or something else more serious?

She said she felt kinda crap after waking up about it, which is nice.

I want to make it clear that I'm not upset at her, because I understand that dreams aren't chosen. It's just sometimes dreams can represent sub-conscious thoughts, and it doesn't help that she had a crush on this guy at some point in the past.

I still love her so obviously this won't be a problem, just wanted to hear your thoughts :)

9 years ago*

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The fact that your girlfriend feels comfortable enough telling you about her dream just means she's unlikely to act on any of these impulses. If she seriously considered leaving you or cheating on you, she surely wouldn't drop hints ahead of time. You don't have anything to worry about. We've all had strange dreams, most of which don't make any sense even whilst in the dream.

9 years ago
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This comment was deleted 5 years ago.

9 years ago
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No, I wouldn't be bothered by either because as you mentioned dreams are out of our control and are basically just the subconscious doing whatever the hell it wants, often impossible things that shatter reality.

However I would be bothered if my partner told me because this means that they attached more importance to it than there should ever be.

On the one hand it may be good, you may have a very pure partner who feels incredibly bad about such a thing to the point the partner simply can't stay quiet about it or it would eat them up inside as if they stabbed you in the back and that's great.
It's the other option that's the problem. The one where the partner tries to gauge your reaction to the revelation. It could just be just the tiniest bit of insecurity or doubt that may or may not fester...or it could be major doubt the right choice was made or even a test that ruins the relationship.

I'd probably just choose to shrug it off and keep going as if it was never mentioned (other than mentioning you just consider dreams to be dream and nothing more). This sort of thing isn't important enough to affect a relationship...and if the other party thinks it is then the sooner this ends the better so one shouldn't fight it either.

9 years ago*
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Yeah, The question is not what the dream means, the question is - what did she mean by telling about this dream? Maybe she is preparing him for some news...

9 years ago
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dreams are like Vegas
Edit: Keep up the good work with Crash :D

9 years ago
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Wow, totally didn't expect someone to check out my videos from this thread xD Thanks for taking the time to check out the thread.... and the channel :P

9 years ago
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I've been stalking you for a while already.
Nothing like a slice of lamb next to my chips xD

9 years ago
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I've had fucked up dreams about things I'd never even think of doing. I won't even tell you about it...
The point is, the human brain and its consciousness is a mysterious thing. We can't control it while sleeping; or at least, we rarely can.

When you are having a dream, it does not necessarily means that the dream reflects anything you would want to happen in real life. As an example, when we are having nightmares, it isn't because we want it to happen, but because it is a simple accumulation of thoughts about anything you have seen, or could imagine in your life.

Her dream was most likely an accumulation of thoughts from the past; having a crush on another person. It is nothing but memories running through her mind subconsciously, memories from either the past, or simple imagination.
Dreams do not represent the real world in any way. They simply reflect it.

9 years ago
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I used to be able to control my dreams. It was a lot of fun! Basically, my mind would setup the parameters of the dreams, and then I would exploit like Neo in the Matrix (years before The Matrix). Going to sleep was like playing a video game!

9 years ago
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Partner being unfaithful in dreams = will be unfaithful in reality

She even told you that? Be sure that she does not think only of you during the day

9 years ago
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A dream is a dream is a dream. I have done naughty things in dreams and I have done terrible things in dreams and I don't give a second thought to it because that is exactly what they are, dreams. Of course it feels nice if you feel you are close to someone in a dream and it feels horrible if you kill someone in a dream and so on; does it mean something? Not really.

9 years ago
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Its too late, you have to end the relationship, Im sorry...

:(

9 years ago
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In my opinion

I almost always dream of people being mad at me or me screwing something up.

Often when I'm awake I have trouble remembering that bad thing wasn't real.

99% of the time you have no control over whats going on in your dreams.

Tomorrow you'll probably dream about french fries is potato land.

Stop worrying. The brain is weird.

9 years ago
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My honest answers would be slight concern for both. I've had plenty of my own dreams that really worry myself and don't even know why they happen. I've had dreams where I can actually feel everything happening. Control over dreams would be nice but not everyone can do them and not all dreams can be desirable. All I know is that if it were to happen in my own relationship then I would want to talk about it a bit.

9 years ago
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Closed 9 years ago by MrWoodenSheep.