Apologies and Return.

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Hey All.
So first off i apologize for what is most likely going to be a fairly long post. i hope you can bear with me but i felt like i needed to say something :). Also this is not a call for attention or a plea for pity of any kind, more just an informational post. If you do read through, thank you, if not, thank you still. :)

So i guess it's best to start in 2018. At the time i was living in Zimbabwe and had just been retrenched due to the economic crisis, this was shortly after my Grandmother had been retired, and as such only my Mother was working. For Months i looked for work but couldn't find anything, the months turned into a year, and even longer and all the while my family's financial situation got worse and worse.

Eventually in mid 2019 we decided as a family to leave Zimbabwe and everything we knew, to move to South Africa in the hopes of a better life. After selling everything we owned, and paying off the debt we had accrued over the previous months, we had just enough to make the move, i.e. tickets etc. In early November we arrived in South Africa to, initially live with my Half Sister. Life was still tough - there were 4 of us living in a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment, and my was the only one working, but things were looking up - the economic situation here was significantly better so there was at least some hope for work.

Then things started getting worse, my mom was diagnosed with COPD shortly after we arrived and had to be temporarily hospitalized, when she left she was now on even more chronic medication, as she was already on some due to a heart attack 8 years previously. At the beginning of December my mom bumped into a side table and her leg quite literally burst open, we never got a truly satisfactory diagnoses from the public hospital but i believe it was a varicose vein under pressure, anyway this was another trip to the hospital, but thankfully very short as she was treated and stitched up and we brought her home. However 2 weeks later my mom complained of pain in the arms, and after previous experience with a heart attack we called an ambulance and she was rushed to the hospital where they confirmed she had suffered a major cardiac event and would need surgery to put in several stents. She was treated quite quickly and the surgery was performed and all seemed to be getting better. However at the beginning of March of 2020 my mother let us know that she was having extreme difficulty breathing, and despite the fact that COVID was now making its way here, we decided we had to call the ambulance, which took 4 hours to arrive. My mom was admitted to ICU with severely low blood oxygen levels, later she was confirmed to have a viral infection, and possibly pneumonia. After 10 days of extended suffering my mom developed a pulmonary embolism, and after several resuscitations she passed away in the early hours of the 14th of March, 2020. At the time her cause of death was submitted as Pulmonary embolism as a complication with COPD. At that time the Hospital had no real way of testing for COVID, however several weeks after her death we received communication from her doctors that her symptoms, while possible with her other medical issues, were also highly likely as a result of a severe case of COVID.

Anyway, after all of this, as a person who has always suffered from depression - i am, and have been for years, on Fluoxetine - i fell into a deep and sever depression, that has lasted, almost constantly, the last year. However i am attempting to pull myself out of it and try and get back to life, it is what she would have wanted.

Sp basically this post is an Apology to the community for being absent, with my reason why. I hope i can be more active within the community here on out, but beg for your patience as well.

3 years ago

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41 Comments

vitizpd

Welcome back!
You've been through a lot, hopes things get better and better.
Peace 🕊️

3 years ago