k

You could do an instant bank transfer. That's fast :3

Go to the nearest truck stop, ask around to see if anyone is looking for a lot lizard and also has Paypal.

;)

TF2 keys are currently sold on dispenser.tf for about $1.70 in bitcoin, so I'd assume the paypal rate is similar. It's an option anyway, but make sure you check the buyer's rep.

1.85 is the low end for TF2 Keys.

Prepaid debit card?

Post your nudes on 4chan and ask for donations.

If things are that bad, maybe you don't need to be spending money on Steam.

if you are a girl go to the nearest truck stop and start flirting, if you're a guy you're f****d

Gamble Bitcoins!!

if you have no money in your bank account, should earning $2 to buy what I would assume is something video game related be your first priority.

Dear God am I on gamef*qs? Because I thought I was for a moment. What are we, his surrogate mothers? At least give a serious answer.
Go on fiverr and do something for 5$. Surely there's something you're good at that could be marketable.