Life is full of humor....

Police found a man drowned in a bowl of muesli, the coroner report said he was dragged down by a strong currant.

>this thread
I am humorless, I had to go to Hogwarts for some Skelegrow to regrow a humerus.

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Sometimes I drink water; just to surprise my liver.

I like that picture :D

Did you hear about the two men from the monastery who opened a fast-food seafood restaurant? One was the fish friar, the other was the chip monk.

That pun is so bad :D

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Bump!

The flasher was considering retiring, but then he decided to stick it out for another year.

Bump

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a Siberian Lynx in the front seat. "What are you doing with that Siberian Lynx?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the cat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. "I thought you were going to take that cat to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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Working the cash register the other day a 50-something year old man approaches me and asks how to buy one get one free on our screwdriver special.

My friend didn't get either joke, can someone explain those to him?

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"Life is so strange.", says a prisoner walking frantically in the cell, while his cellmate is on the can. "You're sitting down and I'm standing up, but we are both lying at the same time!"

Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight?

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Two grandma's were sitting in the dark, knitting. Came the third and turns the light on.

Took me way too long.

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These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Bump!

Bump! :3