This is an awful one(Though it did made my dad laugh)
Who can jump higher than a house? Everyone! Houses can't jump...
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You might know this skit, but even if you do, coming back to it from time to time still makes me smile/laugh/giggle, so here you go:
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Where does one go after a Peek-a-boo accident?
The ICU
*credits :p
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If you are, like me, a fan of Big Lebowski, you will enjoy this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdftbYqA_VQ
Just for context - that's how babies are baptised in Georgia:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFGHerqhSC8
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/y3dtwugWPAs
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
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You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind it's too cheesy
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In spirit of the Christmas season -
What did jolly old Nick say, when he saw Mrs. Claus getting it on with an elf?
Ho, Ho, Ho!
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Do you know which is the most read sign at Christmas?
The one that says "does not include batteries."
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A lot of people think that it 's difficult to arouse a man , but in fact , even a third-grader can handle with this.
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How did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut
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If the Pope were to bless an avocado, would that make it holy guacamole?
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What do you get if you cross a mouse into an elephant?
Mouse elephant sine theta.
What do you get if you cross a mountain climber into an elephant?
You can't, a mountain climber is a scaler.
I hope you laughed out loud. ;-)
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
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cause they are extinct, all timmys fault
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I'm wondering if you heard that joke on the same youtube video I did in the last week (I was going to use that joke myself lol)
Buy a shirt
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Nope, didn't get it from Youtube.
Is that shirt reference related to the video??
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Yeah at the end of his videos he does a "dad joke" while advertising his merch and always ends with that line. Figured if we saw the same video that line would be a dead giveaway :)
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it says here you want to divorce minnie because shes extremely silly??? NOOO, i said because shes fucking goofy!!!!!
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Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
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What does the fish say when he hit the wall ?
Dam
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you can play Fishing Simulator the whole weekend.
Have a good one by the way !
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*There Will Be No Turkey This Christmas
just because they renamed to Türkiye? :(
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Why was Tin Man such a good extortionist?
Someone was always greasing his palms
or maybe a goofy picture of one of the dogs?
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— Dad, why did you put the chocolate bar in the fridge?
— To cool it down, of course.
— But it’s white chocolate!
— Well then, let it tan!
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Why don't skeletons fight each other?
Because they don't have the guts!
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Dad: look a flock of cows!
Kid: herd of cows dad
Dad: course I’ve heard of them, there’s a flock of them right over there!
Happy holidays 🎉
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Looking to whitelist some life forms for the holiday season! Here’s what you need to qualify:
To get on the list, just post something funny—if it makes me smile, you’re in! 😊
A good dad joke will definitely get you on the list!
Holiday gifts under tree🎄:
More giveaways to come🎄✨
I'm a pretty introverted person, so I probably won't reply to a lot of people unless I find it really funny—but that doesn't mean you're not in! 😊
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