Maybe. Does having no social life makes you nihilistic?
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I'm a fake socialite.
I.e. personally, I'm not too social and prefer keeping to myself, but if I do end up in a social encounter, I handle myself pretty well.
It went to the point where a few of my fellow anti-social acquaintances nicknamed me "two-face"
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Depression mostly, I don't feel like leaving the house even tho I know it would make me feel better. I've been struggling with this crap for years now but this year has by far been one of the worst, I've lost contact with most of my friends, I'm unemployed and don't try to get a new job even tho I know I need to, and quited college again. I'm tired of this circle of BS but lack the motivation to get up and do something.
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excluding online interactions my social life typically consists of two things:
dreaded family get togethers
finding a hookup when i feel lonely
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It's cool. :P There are 2 problems though:
1) I kinda hate talking through the phone and I prefer chatting with them on facebook or face to face instead. So, because they tend to call me a lot, especially my best friend, I avoid calling them by myself, to balance the time lost during this torture. xD
2) My insensitivity keeps annoying them, to the point they keep judging me about that.
So, what can I do about these 2 problems? Can anyone help? :)
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Cancel your phone subscription :P
Or just bum around all day at their place!
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No phone at all? That wouldn't be that wise. :/
Bumming around all day at their place? That would make them hate me. xD
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I suppose that makes problem 2 worse, eh? LOL
OK, if they live close enough, every time they call you start walking to their place while on the phone!
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My advice is to spend more time hanging around with your friend. Enlist his help in learning how to "read" people better so that you do not come across as "insensitive."
P.S.(Don't worry about the phone thing. You are not required to enjoy being on the phone. Just invite people to speak with you personally.)
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I'm not having a problem in learning people, I'm just having a problem to show that I care about them. You know, when they tell me something sad and I'm trying to react, but I hardly even show that I care.
Whenever he's not busy, we always go out or visit each other's houses. Same goes with some other of my friends too. :/ It's just that they tend to use the phone a lot.
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Well, the idea is to pick up mannerisms from the people around you. You do not have to feel what others feel, necessarily, but there are multiple ways to express understanding and empathy in those situations when you do not. These behaviors are learned, which is why they call them "Social Skills."
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At first, I wanted to answer something like: "You're telling me that I'm not having social skills?". xD
But now that I'm thinking about it, I kinda struggle to show empathy to others. While I can use words to show empathy, my "face" isn't really looking like it's showing any signs of empathy. So, this may make me look like I'm a bad person, but I am not. :'( Some people understand this, some others don't. You are always giving wise answers, by the way. ^_^
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Speaking from my own experience, it is best to avoid "faking" feelings you do not have. Just because you do not feel sadness does not mean you do not empathize, however. Knowing the right thing to say goes a long way in comforting a friend. (e.g. "Oh, that sounds so sad. Are you alright?")
I do my best to be helpful. I don't always succeed, but I feel the effort is worthwhile.
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3 years of university 0 friends , im socially invisible ,
Hi.
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My bottle of wine is about half empty right now, having a great start of the weekend here as well so I think I will be finishing it today. Having friends does not necessarily mean that the bad thoughts and times will go away, it helps though (not today).
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But why ? At the beginning I had some what similar situation..
I personally am quit shy and unsocial.. but I volunteered as head of my class (to try to step up and fight my insecurities) And got to know everyone and became friend and advisor for many. A friend for those who dont have a friend (I try to be friendly to everyone)
And then I went to student union and became part of it to try to get better at socialising.
Thats over the 3 years Ive been studying.
I think that if you try to get out of your comfort zone you can accomplish a lot and get friends too. I understand its difficult at times.
Anyway - good luck fighting insecurities and trying to get friends :) Anyway - Im up for discussions ;)
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Well, I hope you get over this and start talking to people. Worse thats going to happen is the other person just wont talk to you. The same what hapens if you avoid the situation..
Nothing else.. I know, its easier said than done.. but anyway - good luck keeping it positive :)
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Easiest way I found to make friends in Uni was to hang around the departmental lounge to do homework.
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Used to be very friendly and go out almost every day with other people. Never had problems interacting with others, to be honest.
Nowadays I am very focused on my family (in particular my partner and daughter) and the vast majority of my social life is with the parents of the other kids at the park or at other group activities. Being a stay at home father for a soon to be 2 year old girl is a little taxing on my social life. It's worth it, though :D
I still get to see my friends from time to time...
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excluding online interactions my social life typically consists in:
nonexistent
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Pretty bad, once a week i'll go watch a movie, have a beer.
A result of dropping contact with every person i found egocentric, always had as a consequence, more people ignoring me in result of just one person.
I've also since my teenage years been fighting off my Cynicism and fear of constant failure. I feel things have been looking better, sad that i already practically isolated myself :D
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I dont have much of a social life, but its mostly by choice. Outside of hanging out with my boyfriend and his family, I like keeping to myself. I have pretty bad social anxiety, and socializing gets to be very draining, very quickly for me. So I like keeping my group of friends pretty slim so Im not overwhelming myself, or neglecting too many people at once.
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Hmm... people have social lives? I guess I used to, but after 26 days in the hospital for a ruptured appendix and complications following that (which robbed me of my immune system ), going out in public is scary. Luckily I work from home and like games.
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Pretty horrible. I have one friend I talk to regularly and that's it. The fact that it doesn't bother me and I'm not lonely sometimes makes me feel like there's something wrong with me, like I should be miserable about my social situation. Like I'm continuously being told that it's weird and not healthy that I never talk to or hang out with anyone. I should be going out and making friends, but I'm just not. And when I do have to talk to people or go out, I'm really friendly and I do okay socializing. I just prefer being alone, probably to an unhealthy point.
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Thanks for sharing. Don't judge on yourself so hard and don't let other people judge you - take constructive criticism from people that actually care about you and filter all the rest. If you're fine with the way you're dealing with people and you are emotionally stable, it's really fine, at least from my point of view.
Keep a keen eye for "the tipping point" though - when and if you feel like you actually need people around you but you're already so detached that you don't have the will or strength do get to make friends with people anymore.
Best wishes!
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I'm not being judged too harshly, it's mostly the people who care about me expressing these concerns. I made it sound like I'm beating myself up about it but I'm not. I see the validity of their concerns but for now going out and making friends and being social isn't my biggest priority. When I do have to go out I'm not exactly a wallflower either, extreme introversion is just my way of being right now. But I get that needs to change eventually and it will. But I really don't care enough to put the effort in (in order to meet people I'd have to join extracurriculars and just generally seek it out, that's boring and exhausting). When I move away from home I'll have no choice so that's definitely a big motivator.
Definitely thinking about that tipping point. I have a (very small) support system if I need it, but as long as I have one friend and a couple of other people I occasionally talk to I think I'm good. If that changes I'll change my outlook on all this too.
Thank you!
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Definitely - Its alright for person to be introverted.
It is of course suggestable that you do go out and try to socialise. But you dont have to do something your not comfortible with. Expecially if you dont want it yourself..
It depends wether this kind of inwardness has suicidal thoughts or not. If yes - you should definitely talk to others and try to get healthy. But if not - nothing wrong with having one good friend.
Anyway - there are probably like minded people you would find friend - worthy.. Dont discard everyone :)
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Yeah, I realize that I definitely need to go out and socialize more. Right now it's not a priority or something I feel like I need though. Doesn't help that I go to an extremely small school so if I wanted to make new friends I'd have to actively seek out extracurricular stuff and I'm not about that. However once I move away from home most of that'll change.
No suicidal thoughts though, don't worry!
And I don't dislike people, I just put in no effort whatsoever in making friends. So if I happen to become good friends with someone then nice, if not that's also nice :)
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Hey guys,
one thing we always should take care of is ourselves. So - how are you doing? Are your okay? Do you have social issues which you'd rather bottle up than solute professionally?
You know, I know how hard it is to be honest to yourself. But we gamers need to stick together. :)
Please do not consider this as a try to be semi-professional. I just want people to be able to enjoy their lives. :)
Have a great day!
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