Your thoughts on marriage?

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It's especially funny that they chose a derivation of 'exodus' to describe their nonsense, since both genders were presumably equal in rights and standing in Ancient Egypt. And the word 'sexodus' is simply funny af xD.

View attached image.

I would like to get married and have a family, but, ahem, I've never had a girlfriend, I'm not rich, I'm unemployed, and, let's say, 'not handsome'.
I think I live in a 'lucky' family, since my parents and none of my uncles ever divorced (actually, my father was married to another woman before my mother, but they were somewhat forced to marry by his grandfather because they lived together in the same house... she was actually only a girlfriend and they didn't have a problem divorcing when my father met my mother). So we and all our cousins never experimented the parents' divorce.
I've actually seen very few divorces, compared to the statistics.
Point is, besides those situations where (usually, roles may be inverted sometimes) the man needs to pay for the ex wife and the kids while the woman stays at home and the man lives at his parents' or under a bridge without seeing the kids, which are an abomination in my opinion (kick in the ass and go to work yourself), I don't see why not marrying. It's, among other things, somewhat an incentive to stay with that person, trying to solve problems instead of simply leaving them behind.
There are economical benefits too, one among all: the widow's benefits (they should need to put some limits to abuses, like those funny situations where the old man marries the young caregiver and this lady gets the widow's undeserved benefits for the remaining of her life). I'll tell you a small anecdote.

Recently, a friend's mom suddenly died (blood clot due to complications of a surgery, a trial will follow), leaving two daughters and their father. She was a housewife, he is a policeman. Speaking with a relative of mine who was very friend to her and watched her die, I got to know that the two weren't married. Everyone kept suggesting them to marry, but they kept procrastinating for some reason. I mean, he is a policeman, always around with the car... an accident could always happen. If something happened to him, instead of her, she wouldn't have gotten the widow's benefits (only the minimal pension since she never, or almost never, worked).
Just a simple thing, like signing some papers, can make a difference in your life.

I think marriage is a good step when you find the right person. I'm in marriage with my wife about 7 years and we have a great time together. Having fun, making love, playing games, drink alcohol together!
But not all marriages are happy. My friend wansn't so lucky and proposed to girlfriend after 3 months. Now he have a wife and she is an angry b*tch.
I waited 2 years before purpose.
Just no need to rush.

It can turn out to be heaven but it can also turn out to be much less so. Two couples in the general area where I live have been married and divorced in less than 3 months apart. Marriage is something of a higher level than having a relationship and in these times, one or a few arguments can turn out to be the seed of a divorce. I guess al lot of these troubles could be avoided if people would think things through and really know each other before getting married.

As long as my partner's family wouldn't be able to kick me out of flat I lived with them for x years and take all my belongings "they belonged to them, you're not married, so stuff our son / daughter owned is ours" I'm fine to not be marry. Maybe if it'd be more beneficial to be married to have tax benefits, but I don't like official ceremonies. That's only reason why I'm "against" marriage - official ceremonies where you can mess stuff and they will have it on the video.

So if I will be able to go to hospital and get info about their health, not being forced to take testimony against them in court, can buy car or flat together and it'd belong to both of us (so all this stuff marriages gives you), then I'm fine without marriage. But only then. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to live with someone for 5 - 10 - 15 years in one flat.

Don't rush it, and don't consider it a "forever" deal. If it does last forever, great but if not, it's not the end of the world, either.
People change, Life happens and couples grow apart.

Did a long-distance relationship for 2 years, then moved together for another 4 before we got married. Been married for 2 years now and hopefully there are many more to come. I didn't want to get married but it's so much easier for legal reasons, tax breaks, etc.

Also, if you're not religious you can have a nondenominational ceremony, we didn't get married in a church but had a pastor and she didn't mention God, once ;)

I do not believe there is any need to make a formal commitment with society and announce it to the world that you are together with someone, at least in the western european society I belong to - under other legal and social structures I think it is probably quite essential.

I do not consider getting married myself. I’ve been together with my partner for 7 years, living with her for 5, we have a 2 year old daughter, and I don’t see our relationship change in foreseen future (with the exception of additional children). Several people pressure us to get married but we’ll probably only do that if we face some situation in which being married makes things a lot easier.

However, I do not understand why you consider it risky to get married… the point is quite the contrary, in my opinion. You have a lot less protection when you are together without getting married. In my case I quit my job to take care of our daughter and have become, to an extent, dependant on my partner for my livelihood (I still do some part-time translation/editing work when time allows it). This could prove to be a challenge in the future but it is a risk I’m willing to make.

i am currently getting divorced. my advice would be: if you can avoid it, don't marry. too much of a hassle in case it goes south some day. but if the woman demands it, go for it. not worth losing a great woman over stupid principles. ;)

Well, the question is why would you like to marry ?
If the cons are only for the financial aspects, you can always choose prenuptial agreements that preserve separation of or regulate financial assets and incomes.
Also, depending on your country, there are alternative contracts too, that gives you fiscal advantages, if you live with someone, while preserving some of rights in case one of you dies, for children for example.
Also, you won't get in jail if you can't pay child support ;-) it is always relative to your incomes.

Marriage is unnecessary nowadays (in Western society at least) and I don't consider it sacred in any way (and sure as hell I'm not religious), but I think with the right guy it still might be nice some day. I just refuse thinking of commitment by one's own choice as a bad thing. Also, if someone told me he doesn't want to get married because as a man it's too risky, I'd advise this person reconsidering the whole relationship-thing for themself, since distrust hasn't any place in a serious relationship in my opinion.

As for such a list:

As a man, I think it's too risky, in the future I don't want to lose half my income, my house, my children, going to jail if you can't pay child support

Don't you think having children together is a little bit more binding than a marriage?

The reason marriage is "on the decline" among Western men has everything to do with Western women. They have forgotten much that their ancestors knew.

(Western men are similarly ignorant, but men do not call the shots in the male-female relationship.)

i really don't know and i don't spend time thinking about that.

in my life i met one woman i had considered to marry but guess what happened.
another woman proposed to me two or three times (seriously, no kidding) but i said 'no' since i was sure she wasn't the real deal. and in fact it didn't take too long before that became overly obvious.

i really don't care much about getting married. i get the impression a lot of people do it to save money on taxes and insurances.
i guess i could if i find the perfect match and i'm sure enough to have children.
which would in fact be biggest decision of all. not thinking about getting married but thinking about having children.
if you're sure enough to have children you could as well get married, donate your kidney to him / her and what not.

but until then i couldn't care less.

I don't ever want to get married for the same reason as you. Most people divorce, and I would hate to lose half of everything I own for something that doesn't seem worth it. I'm doing really well on my own. If I want love, I will hug my dogs. And honestly, I don't understand how people can trust each other so much. And I really, really don't want children.

I think back in the day getting married was a romantic gesture. When there werern't many divorces.
Now marriage looks more like a financial contract.

when i find the perfect girl i will marry her for sure

I don't see the point or appeal of marriage. Successful and loving relationship and parenthood don't require the stamp of approval of the state or one's religion, and I can say this from experience :-)

100% of divorces are caused by marriages: stay away from them!

Well, marriage is awesome cuz my wife is the best... since I’m the one who got her... I can’t say for everyone else... they just missed out!

This has been an interesting reading.A lot of opinions and, for some, the insertion of religion in the topic. Well first of, I don't think religion has some matters here. Yes you could say it's because of religion that exists, but I don't care.
If it was because of religion, it would be of one religion(or from religions that have the same source, e.g.: Abrahamic religions since it is believed it started from the same person, Abraham) but is not what we see in history. Eastern religions also believe in marriage, and they never any contact with westerns religions til fairly recently(as recent I mean like at least a couple centuries). You could also say that this man talked with this man, that talked with this man, that talked again to another, all the way around the globe. But is honestly something hard to believe.

Topic closed about religion? Yes? Awesome let's talk now about marriage.

I believe marriage is a beautiful institution. Yes, an institution. But Ruaben, you're crazy or Dude, you're taking the magic out it(yes I have too many voices in my head).
Well, it's a institution based, or founded and funded, on love and trust. If this institution runs out of funding, it goes bankrupt, or more specific to this topic, divorce, or worse, home violence.

Yes, this might be a cold way to look at this, but I like to compare things to others things that we are more familiar with.

What's the point of this institution? To support each other in the many difficulties or challenges in life. But Ruaben,that's what friends are for Yes, but you can not say "I'm yours" to your friends(unless you're a really weird guy)! Also this institution was so that the children can grow and live and learn with their parents taking responsability. Children have always been our future. In the end they will be the ones changing our diapers. And my diaper better be the best diaper in the block!
Sure, we can raise children without being married. But nowadays it has been a big problem to have children without a mom or a dad. That's sad, this kid is not getting enough attention for his needs. This is because the act of going bang bang(I like to say things in a funny way, but for those who don't get my lame jokes, I meant sex) is now acceptable without commintment. This means if something starts beating, it's no one's responsability. Is now something casual and fun to do(which is true, it's fun).

The olds saw this coming. And for that, they created a solution! Marriage!

Also is not just for the children, it's for ourselves. If we go bang bang on everything, we are degrading what we are. Our body is unique. We should keep this way. We should ourselves clean, just the same way we take care of health. I'm not just saying for you to not get sexual things, but to not share what is ours and only ours.

We should keep out little sticks inside our pants until we find someone that, if something happens, it's our responsability(see the "our" here, it's important).
Sure we can look at each other and say "let's be together forever". Yeah, you can do it. But without witnesses or a form of a "contract", I can just bail out, with no negative consequenses. With witnesses, a signature, and the commintment of both of us, it puts more responsability in our shoulders.

Well, I could talk more about the topic, but I'm tired of typing, and honestly, coming at me with arguments will not chance my opinion. Heck it might actually support it without you thinking too much.

In the end of the day, do the f* you want. We live in a free world(well mostly free), so if you want, other people's opinions can be just ignored.
My last words is that the truth hurts. Responsability ain't easy, it's hard it sucks.

Yes divorce sucks. I come from a broken family and I can see the importance of this crap. But if you don't wan't to get married because the divorce is expensive, just shoot yourself. You're not trying to change the picture, just crap on it and saying that it sucks. What makes you better?

TL;DR version
Marriage can be good. But if you and your BF/GF are not ready, don't do it.

Just for the record, I'm not married, ot dating anyone as of right now. This knowledge comes from many observations and study(yes I like to study sociology for the fun of it).

What is the main point here? The legal status, wich is different by country? The societal one, wich is already less and less relevant currently? The commitment to share a life, wich doesn't require a formal marriage? Or maybe even the ritual and its symbolic value? I know a couple of women who don't care about the legal formality but would enjoy the ritual for example. Theres even more sides then the ones i listed.
Also i don't fall in the binary pool so i didn't vote.

Here beyond 5 or so years living together its legally treated akin to marriage on most things- the ones that aren't are open to legal pursuit by case. That makes discussions about it less relevant, i guess.

Marriage isn't something i oppose to nor look foward. I do have some criticism on the industry, costs and expectations culturally cultivated around its rituals and festivities but i can appreciate commemorating and formally saying to the world your commitment- but i personally see no need nor feel the pressure to do either.

For me all that matters is between the lovers. Formality is... formality. I actually see formal legal bindings as devaluating the trust and social contract innherent on a relationship- come on, needing the law to intercede, legally bind, needing witnesses... the ideal relationship should have trust in itself and not need mechanisms to ensure anything.

I tend towards 'non marriage' because of how quickly many get married. The number of people ive seen, from my generation, newer and so many older that didn't really knew each other when they married is starring. My family is full examples, closes case being my mom and stepdad- 11 years living together to figure out it wasn't meant to be. Looking back that could have been 6 years- and they could have felt obliged to press on living unhappily with each other for longer if they had 'formal legal marriage' above their heads.

If and when someone i love wants to marry i will give it time if i can. Logically i only see downsides- any and everything in favor it comes just from its symbolic and cultural value. The extras are historically much more a source of problens then otherwise.

And come on- marriage had much more of meaning when few women worked if at all. Its mechanisms were fair to someone who could live decades depending on someone to suddenly find herself helpess. It doesn't resonate with modern society as it did and to this day makes way for ill intended people (young guy marrying someone older then their grandma... it happens, both genders, most of the time finantial interest).

Where state need to intervene and keep doing is on childrens welfare- but that already is set apart from marriage so... whats the point?

Why did you leave out option "I'm already married"?

It depends, I would like to marry someday but definetely after living with the girl for at least 1 or 2 years, if everything goes well and I find that she's not shallow enough for wanting a diamond ring and a huge ass luxurious party then I will seriously think of marriage.

Only time will tell, if I meet such gal and she doesn't want to marry then perhaps I won't either, I don't ponder much on such distant things in my life :]

Yeah, why not? I would marry if I feel like I found the right person. That said, I haven't been in any sort of relationship for half a decade and I might just do my life by my own, I miss sex but I can live without it.

highly important. more for it being functional to the figure of traditional family and the sacredness of family unity than it per se. the religiosity of the rite is of course subject to the culture and the region of the individuals involved, but for that matter no less important as the family unity find its peak in a social context exquisitely tribalistic and ethnocentric.

Imho, I do not want to ever get married. As a man, I think it's too risky, in the future I don't want to lose half my income, my house, my children, going to jail if you can't pay child support. All of that hanging over your head at any day, and for what benefit?

understandable. the law, at least around here, is structured in way that in whatever way you put it, the reasons for the end of a marriage are attributed to the male. you can say that from the very first moment a man and a woman get married, the woman got him by the balls for the rest of his life. and this would be nothing but the cherry on top of the cake. liberalism has been planting the seed of individualism in the mind of the masses for many generations now and the result can be seen clearly around us, men being reduced to walking credit cards and women to glorified thots. both subhumans, both byproducts of turbocapitalism, just like feminism and MGTOW are. although i understand your position on this i will always condemn it, i truly wish you to find a good woman worthy of being defined as one to put up a family together (or, to put it in the most pessimistic way possible, find someone for whom you are willing to take the risk of ending up as homeless :v), and you to be worthy of her.