Fuck yes
Have you ever 46845313254654324551203218125151 with 3554546 654 546498432132345454846?
You must be a real 132167655748954 if you have never 47878777788896656541326984 it.
Comment has been collapsed.
no i only did 68+1 sawwy broh :(
did u ever feel like you were falling in your sleep only to wake up grabbing on to your bed, realising you weren't really falling? XD
Comment has been collapsed.
No (not sure if I understood the question)
Have you been in a relationship longer than two years?
Comment has been collapsed.
Murrr, ye... oh, wait, no! No!
Were you ever close to drowning?
Comment has been collapsed.
I Like Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for 5ยข a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.
I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.
I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals
I Like Monkeys
Comment has been collapsed.
70 Comments - Last post 22 minutes ago by Chris76de
46,903 Comments - Last post 2 hours ago by Bominus5
24 Comments - Last post 2 hours ago by jh82
1,179 Comments - Last post 4 hours ago by Southrobin
15,623 Comments - Last post 4 hours ago by Carenard
1,147 Comments - Last post 4 hours ago by jzone55
5 Comments - Last post 5 hours ago by digitaligor
270 Comments - Last post 1 minute ago by APocketfulofStars
29 Comments - Last post 4 minutes ago by Thexder
19 Comments - Last post 8 minutes ago by FranckCastle
2,465 Comments - Last post 33 minutes ago by softbearcas
52 Comments - Last post 34 minutes ago by mourinhos86
61 Comments - Last post 37 minutes ago by UnbakedBacon
7,265 Comments - Last post 1 hour ago by heroicGift
Okay so the idea is that a person asks a Yes or No question, and the person below must answer it and make a
new question for the next guy :)
i'll start:
Did you ever drop your smartphone on your face while lying in bed?
Comment has been collapsed.