Patrick Bateman: Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?

Paul Allen: They're OK.

Patrick Bateman: Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.

Paul Allen: Hey Halberstram.

Patrick Bateman: Yes, Allen?

Paul Allen: Why are there copies of the style section all over the place, d-do you have a dog? A little chow or something?

Patrick Bateman: No, Allen.

Paul Allen: Is that a rain coat?

Patrick Bateman: Yes it is! In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

[raises axe above head]

Patrick Bateman: Hey Paul!

[he bashes Allen in the head with the axe, and blood splatters over him]

Patrick Bateman: TRY GETTING A RESERVATION AT DORSIA NOW, YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD! YOU, FUCKING BASTARD!