Description

To celebrate to not having birthday this year, I giving away a dust catcher out of my inventory.

Additional to this giveaway I will give a copy of "Sanctum" or "Anomaly: Warzone Earth" to the person who posts the best joke in the comments, cause I like the idea of happy people out there ;-)

Let the fun begin!

134 Comments

Jxrdan

Happy non birthday! Thank you very much.

1 decade ago

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AyaEternal

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

1 decade ago

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dakrol

+1 everyone likes a nice joke XD

1 decade ago

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Oizo88

Some good jokes were posted, but I think I will choose this one cause my favorite bar is called "Krokodil" (Crocodile).
But let's see if there will be another good joke in the last hour.

1 decade ago

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Raziel

Thanks. No joke, though.

1 decade ago

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SuperFluffyKitty

<3 Oizo88

1 decade ago

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Cloonaid

Spanks!

1 decade ago

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BubbyBobble

Happy non birthday, then. lol And thanks for the giveaway! ^-^
Well, here's your joke. I hope you enjoy it.

Two men who were waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How did you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. Eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, .... how did you die?" "I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic and, just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the deep freezer, we'd both still be alive!"

1 decade ago

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q00u

I heard a very similar joke!

Three men who were waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. Each was trying to convince the others that his death was the worst.

The first man said: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the refridgerator and threw it over the edge where it landed on him. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

The second man pointed his finger at the first: "That was YOU?! I lived on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I did my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

The first man apologized for the misunderstanding, and agreed that the second man had a worse death. Both turned to the third man, who had gone silent. After much cajoling, he began to tell his awkward story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator..."

1 decade ago

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BubbyBobble

LMAO! That's a good one! :'D

1 decade ago

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Benexx

1 decade ago

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