"You're cute. I bet you have nice feet. Would you mind if I came in your socks and you walked around in them for me? Send me a feet pic pls" .
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This is one of the most stupid fetishes ever lol. But then again, who am I to complain. I like like 10 of them lol.
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Which type of came is that? Is that came as in go into your socks or the other came that involves white stuff o.o?
Do I want to know?
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I'm guessing he means the white stuffs xD!
& LOL right @ Shad0WeN O_O
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I sorta imagined him becoming mini sized, going into her socks, and having her walk around with him in the socks. The other thing didn't cross my mind til I read that xD
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Lol, I kind of interpreted that as him wearing her socks. I missed the "you" in there. Kind of important.
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I couldn't. I had no clue what to say to that.. >_<
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Reminded me this: I think what she says its a little NSFW
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Oh god, I didn't thought anyone else received that kind of messages.
On facebook a guy sent me a message telling me he's at a hotel in my city, and wanted to pay me if I go there and let him lick my feet. Even sent me room number and all. God that creeped me out..
My facebook is now completely private,and no messages from strangers <.<
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Well, there's quite a few disturbing comments I saw... Of course, there's always the usual "I love you" from someone you don't know, always feel awkward...
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I can't recall exact words, because it was many years ago. But the woman I loved and after over 8 years I still can't forget and stop thinking about, told me that she loves me, but she can't be with me, because she doesn't see the future in this relationship. My life was disaster back then, no job, no money, couldn't move out for half a year because I had to finish my university studies and she lived 250 km from me. To spice things up, I had divorce in progress and a child from that marriage (if you start thinking with stereotypes now, I'd like you to know that I was thrown out with just one bag of personal belongings).
I got my life straight. It's nothing great but I came out of the woods. But in the meantime the love of my life found some nice guy with a good job, and while still indirectly suggesting that she loved me, she married him.
What makes this so disturbing to me is that I have been unable to build any other relationship due to the feelings I still have for her. And she still contacts me from time to time, bringing new waves of nostalgia.
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Block her and move on? I do not see the appeal. She choose money over you, she decided your future is not good enough for her. 8 years is a long time and the only way you will move on is if you stop having her in your life. Just saying, either way I feel sorry for you. awkward man hugs
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I know that a comment from a random internet guy wont have any impact on you but i dont care, i m telling you anyway. Get out of your 8 years old limbo and move on. Maybe you saw the world in her eyes but from the things you said she only saw the $$ that you dont have in yours. If not having money is enough for a woman to leave you then she doesnt worth a penny. And that things she tells you that she loves you and shit it looks more like a power game she does rather than she truly loves you. If she loved you she would be with you right know.
From my point of you the best thing you can do is to put the past in the past instead of living in it.
As wardeathfun said, block her and move on. There are plenty woman in this shitty world that worth your time and thoughts.
Dont know if i said things as i wanted to, but i tried.
Move on.
joins the bro hug
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Thanks guys. I've been trying all the time to do exactly what you said. In the conscious level I know it's long over. She's not even the person I fallen in love anymore, nor I am the man she was passionately fascinated with. But in my heart I'm unable to make a difference. And she was good, really good, any other women that showed interest in me so far looked pale in comparison.
And there's some scary shit - I could block her out for months - two years tops - but sooner or later we keep bumping on each other on the Internet. I changed accounts and she changes hers frequently, we have so many common interests - games being the only exception - and know each other good enough, that many times I went into discussion with someone and after two or three posts I found out it was her or she found out it was me, resulting in some awkward moments. I'd have to stop talking about my hobbies and interests on the web, and I refuse to do this. I'd rather risk another stupid moment.
I keep hoping to live long enough to meet someone as good for me if not better, but for the time being it is as it is.
Thanks once again for the compassion.
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A few things to remind yourself of, every now and then:
1) Love (the real thing) is based on knowing someone and respecting who they are. If someone doesn't know you, or doesn't respect you for who you truly are, that's not love.
2) Love is not enough. To be a good match with someone, you have to be able to sync up your lives. After all, you are sharing who you are, not abandoning it.
3) When we first meet someone we like, we often twist the image we have of them in our mind to fit the fantasy we've been looking for. Instead of that, focus on who they really are. It may not be as exciting as the dream, but reality is usually much more satisfying over time.
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This. And I'd like to tack on a few things, since I've been there, as well. My last relationship ended about 7 or 8 years ago. I've passively talked to people, but never found anything serious. I spent a lot of that time living in my past because I dreaded the future I couldn't see. I thought I had to work through what I was experiencing before I could move on. Honestly? - that actually kept me back much longer than it should have, I think. I wasn't working through the past...I was reliving it and dwelling on it. May I possibly make a few suggestions?
Try new things. Yes, you love your current hobbies and I'm not saying give them up. If that's where you keep "running into her", though...maybe try taking a step away from that. Come up with something fun, exciting, and completely out of the norm for you. Distract yourself by finding another side to who you are. Our hobbies, loves and tastes are only limited by what we know. If you can't think of anything you may want to do, dream something completely new up and test it.
Surround yourself with people who truly love you. Friends, family...and just really amazing strangers. Be grateful that they're there and be willing to do something crazy with them. Be social. Find out what's great about being single. Remind yourself of these things all the time. If you surround yourself with people who truly love you and support you, it may help you keep that in mind.
Finally, I'd suggest ridding yourself of expectations. Hold yourself to your values (if that means no one-night-stands or whatnot), but don't go into relationships with your perfect-eyes. Friendships and families aren't perfect. Why do we expect relationships to be? If you find yourself drawn to someone, talk to them. Don't look for the next thing out there...but don't shut yourself off from it, either.
It took me quite a while to get to that point. I'm still not there 100%, but most of this is reflection on when I'd consider myself happy in the past few years. I don't mean happy as in "not sad", but actually smiling, laughing, and brazenly happy.
You may need to involve alcohol. And you may need to involve your friends. But it's completely worth it when you have that moment where everything is perfect. It never lasts...and it will always fade in the morning, but those perfect moments...those that aren't dependent on a significant other and that won't be tainted years from now...those are completely worth it.
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Actually, it sometimes does. I know it's very, very politically incorrect, but the truth is, without a little intoxication I wouldn't open up to other people after two heartbreaks in little over a year for a much longer time. I was very open, trusting and straightforward person before, but after I became exact opposite. There are times when you need to lose control just a little. Actually, I wasn't 100% sober last night when I made my confession - I wouldn't write a thing without those two beers I had. I don't regret what I wrote and I was completely honest. But in my daily routine I'm too closed and distrustful and therefore I wouldn't say a thing unless directly asked.
So, not everything that goes with alcohol is bad.
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The problem is how easy it is to get carried away. 1 very bad day,no one to watch over you,and some bottles in the refrigerator isn't an unrealistic situation. Say you bump into her again and you just decide to drink a bit to keep your mind of that. I'm not saying that alcohol in general should not be consumed by anyone,but I feel like todays society has the approach of 'it's just alcohol,not drugs' while it can be equally addicting. I can't really see how suggesting alcohol to someone who is currently not emotionally stable is worth the risk.
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Yes, I've been there and done that. I do not claim that I came out clean as saint. I got drunk quite few times, got a depression episode (mostly due to long unemployment, not the girl). But when I look back I think it couldn't be different. Some motions you just have to go through.
BTW, technically alcohol IS a narcotic and depressant drug, and not even a mildest one.
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Well, alcohol does lower inhibitions. I didn't include alcohol in there as a, "Drink your cares away every night and drown your sorrows in liquor." It was more of an occasional, "When you're out with close friends, some alcohol may not be a bad idea." For me, when I'm stone sober, I'm not very personable. I was trying to figure out a way to explain why I'm not too sociable when I'm sober and I think...
I think my problem is that I am not confident in myself and I have a negative self-image. With that said, I automatically believe that if I'm myself around others, they will see me as I see myself. When I have a few drinks, I usually bypass whatever negative inhibitors exist in my brain, so I'm much more sociable and, honestly, probably a bit funnier.
It's the side of me I wish I were more often, but feel too pressured to show.
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Not at all, simply because I am both people. It isn't that I can't be that sociable, fun girl without alcohol. It just takes longer for people to get past that quiet, withdrawn girl...or it takes a special sort of person or environment. For example, most of my jobs I've held, particularly desk jobs, have fostered this quiet persona where I keep my head down. When I work retail, I'm much more outgoing. I usually expect it to take a day or week or so for me to adjust to it, but one of my recent retail positions was almost instantaneous because of the people I was working with.
There is more to me than what you see in any given instant. I think that's true for pretty much everyone. So occasionally taking advantage of alcohol to give you a boost in self-confidence and lower your social inhibitions doesn't mean you're lying to people or showing them a side of yourself that's present only when you drink. I don't have to drink to enjoy myself and have fun. It's just easier for me to get to that point quicker when I drink.
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It's likely that there is a reason for you not being too sociable. I'd say that normally appearing as a quiet and withdrawn person is a protective mechanism,aiming for example not to create relationships with people you don't trust. You'd rather observe their behavior for a while until you get a broad 'behavior profile' of sorts(=are they patient? do they get angry over every little thing? etc). If you believe this is true,you shouldn't drink to become friendly with people you don't know. You would only end up hurting yourself. If you're using alcohol to open up faster to your friends,then you should work on doing so without the use of it(even if you can already do it,but it just takes more time),because in the long run,your friends will expect you to be open when they need you to,not after you take time to do so.
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+1
I have a negative self-image problem too. I was many times surprised when I found out someone really likes me. And often I instinctively take a sign of sympathy for a hidden agenda. A consequence of being fooled and used too many times.
Girls have it easier in my society, because they're not expected to show initiative and not condemned if they do. Well, I'm incapable if initiative when I'm entirely sober, so where does it leave me?
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I don't know that it's necessarily being fooled and used too many times. I think it's more of truly loving the people that would do that to you. As for initiative, I can't do it anymore. It was extremely difficult the few times I managed it. Ideally, I'd be friends with the guy and just happen to fall into a relationship. No real approach by either of us. But that's not really realistic. If I do get approached by a guy I'm sorta-interested in, I'll over-think it and go back and forth without giving him a solid "go" sign. I'm weird...
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It's not weird. If I'm correct,you're simply unsure on whatever you could become friends with that person. Society may expect you to give your decision immediately,while you're simply not the type of person that can make a choice like that. If possible you only want to hang around him more,see how much of your initial impressions were true,learn more about him before you can decide if this is a person you'd be happy or not being in a relationship with.
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Eight years is a long time for your heartstrings to become thoroughly entangled in someone, and it can take equally as long to unravel them. When that person is still in contact with you, even sporadically, it tends to slow down the healing process. It's kind of like a wound trying to heal while a knife is still embedded in it. Even if she is very careful with her words and only has the best of intentions, even her distant presence will be like a roadblock to your progress.
You need time to fully mourn the end of the relationship, which is a painful process, but while she remains in your life as an intermittent friendly voice, it adds a foreign element to the mix and makes it even more difficult. Heartbreak is one of the hardest things a person will ever have to endure in life, more-so when you end up realising you have to push away their attempts at being friendly for your own mental/emotional health. You don't even have to cut her out of your life forever, but you need to give yourself ample time without contact with her to start moving on. If you have to, you can explain this rather directly : "Listen, sorry this is going to sound harsh, but I'm really not over you leaving me. It hurt like hell, and I know you're just trying to be friendly, but I need time without you in my life so I can try to move on. These phone-calls are nice but they're killing me. Hearing the woman I love being happy and content with another man is murdering me. I can't do this right now."
Then whenever you feel far more grounded and feel like she hasn't left a gaping hole in you (6 months+, probably), then you can ring her at some point to try pick up again. She left you at her own convenience, and while she is trying to be nice about it, you also need to place yourself first for a change. Right now, you need your health, and this issue would drive any man to massive despair. The "just move on" thing people may vomit at you is a complete joke. You need time. Lots of time. Time where you aren't haunted by the sound of her voice, or the poisonous honey of the idea she loves you in some distant, unobtainable form. You need time to navigate the shitty labyrinth that is heartbreak, but without the extra burdens.
You'll find your way, eventually.
But I really don't envy how you must feel.
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Oh, we've been through "we need to stop talking/writing" process a few times already. It all started with "let's be friends" paradigm, but there was too much emotion involved from both sides. We're not talking on the phone for years anymore. I avoid the city she lives in, she doesn't go on vacation anywhere near my town. But we still ridiculously keep bumping on each other on the Internet. Also, I'm consequent in my decision not to ever write any private messages to her, but she seem to have her own moments of nostalgia, and then she breaks and writes me an email or PM on some forum we bump into. And then she seems to miss me in some way.
It all turned out pretty silly, we both just thought we can avoid each other and became adamant about not mentioning any feelings we still have. I admit that only now, having written about it - which I had not done in years - I began to see how stupid it all looks. Looking back, it would be probably better if we put the cards on the table right away. Now the whole thing got so complicated... Anyways, I don't know about her, but me, if I just found my heart for someone else... That's what I look for. Cautiously.
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To be honest, I really don't think it's silly at all.
It's the singular big problem with falling in love : it does the strangest of things to otherwise totally rational and chill people! Some people say that "love doesn't have to be complex", but I think that's totally overlooking the human part of the equation. PEOPLE are complex, no matter how adult or intelligent they are, and strong emotions are like a miniature tornado that completely turns your world upside down. When you get into the "what-ifs", you can never begin to predict how things would have turned out. Let's say that one or both of you were 100% honest and open after the break-up, and put all your cards on the table outright, you can't really predict if one of you would have been hurt by the little revelations and ended up turning things sour. In the end, you both sound like good people, but in an unavoidable situation. Something tells me that no matter what you could have done would have changed her mind. What happened, happened. For better or worse, you're free to find someone worth keeping. Having the patience to ride out the ache of these old scars is going to suck, but you sound like a pretty grounded guy. You'll be okay.
Ah well, I suppose if life were simple and easy, it would be kind of boring, wouldn't it? :)
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Guys, my heart hurts for both of you (Uroboros and Ahmeni) as well as Khalaq. Love is different for everyone. People feel it differently. And Uroboros's words are probably the truest and most mature understanding of love...of relationships, that I've heard in a while. Feel free to keep talking. I'll keep wishing I could give ya'll hugs.
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Time to move on man, seriously. You can't hang on to someone for 8 years, it's just not healthy. I've been through what you've been through, my ex and I were together for almost 6 years, 2 kids, it's rough.
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So... do you believe in some kind of destiny? You have no idea of the effect this post and its replies are having on me... im in a completely different and at the same time very similar situation.
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I don't believe in things that must happen. But I believe in something like currents, something that pushes us in some direction unless actively opposed. You try to avoid some, fight some and utilize another.
And while I'm at it, I didn't believe in so called twin souls. Then she proved me wrong. She often followed the same thought patterns as me, had the same interests. We regularly really could end each other sentences. And she was everything I needed and wanted from woman back then. I can't judge now, but back then she really was my twin soul.
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A girl once said to me "I like you".
Everyone knows that she likes me and it was no mystery to me. I just don't know how to react to that. So I guess it was rather disturbing. I guess I turned her down and we never talked again after she spilled her gut out.
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Pretty sure everyone has heard this at least once in life.
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"You're smart but you're not studying"
Bitch, I'm not studying because I'm smart enough to get high grades without studying.I want to punch those people in the face(excluding my mom, including all my teachers) -_-
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Not really disturbing, but this :P Atleast some of my teachers understand it... and luckily my mom stopped saying that xD
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After 12 years my mom stopped asking me to study too.But still, when I get 95/100 she says "Why not 100/100 ?".
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME WOMAN, I'M SUCCESSFULL LEAVE ME ALONE !11!one
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High grades, that can generally be higher with study~
You can only get so far with intellect and mental dexterity, but unfortunately, those finals used to be more about memorisation of subjects and specific points (then wording them a certain way) rather than trying to intuit the best answer to a scenario. All it can take is a single curve-ball in a final to drop even an intelligent person's final grades.
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The things that disturbs me the most is when someone tells me "Say something" or "Why you dont talk?" or anything similar.
Well, i m always about to tell them that they aren't intelligent enough for me but i dont want to offend them so i and up with a "Cause i dont want to. Fuck off." and i leave :D (kidding)
I just stare at them speechless till they feel awkward or change the subject.
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I answer " I have nothing to say " . And if they follow up, I say vague stuff like " we'll see " , " who knows what it'll be " . That gets on some a little, but tbh, I don't give a damn, I have more important matters. I'm fine with saying anything that gets them away from me, and doesn't give them a Casus belli
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Another dude told me "Wow you have some nice muscles. I bet you could rough me up alittle." Then proceeded to wink at me. I hope he was just real life trolling me or I need to look in the mirror and figure out what attracts the wrong kind of attention.
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I got proposed by gay guys a few times and one even tried to kiss me. I was disturbed at first, but then I figured, girls have to live with things like that all the time, so I can too. So I just say sorry, not interested, and that was enough to close the subject so far.
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Pretty much this. So long as they're not being outright obnoxious, it's just turning down a random advance from someone. If anything, it's worth taking it as flattery that someone is attracted enough to dare approach you, even if it's a little brazen.
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Same. So long as they stop when you tell them that you're not interested, I couldn't care less who flirts with me.
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"If i win, would you pee on my vagina?" Then i felt funny in my pants.
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"You know you look like the sweetest and most innocent girl on the outside ... but you have the eyes of a sociopath."
Well, thanks mom.
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At a party I lost track of my gf, and when I found her I told her to the ear "hey, what about we leave and censored" then she turned to me and she wasn't my gf so I said "Sorry, I thought you were my gf" and she replied "I could be if you wanted" winks bites lip.
VERY disturbing. BTW the conversation is translated from my language so if it sounds weird it's because of my poor translation skills.
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Well he wasn't single, and I'm sure he didn't want to bang some random girl instead of his girlfriend.
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I don't allow myself to lie, so when someone accusing me of not being honest, it really bothers me.
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I'm pretty much the same way, except for the times that I've had to lie to keep from getting hurt, or to keep others safe. I don't like lying. And I don't go around doing bad or shameful things, so I've nothing to hide with lies.
I've had so many times to be telling the truth, only to have several people nag me about it. It had gotten easier to tolerate, but it was hell in grade school. Quite a few of my teachers assumed the worst of me. ._.
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Good for you. Being honest often takes a lot of effort and a willingness to weather the storm from those who are not. I salute you.
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When I was 12 or so, in a summer camp, on a games night, I got "selected" for one of those surprise-when-you-return kind of games. When I was waiting a girl from the 7 seven years olds camp came said something like: "Hey handsome, you wanna a piece of my pie". That was disturbing and sick.
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I was once told I had really ugly glasses.
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"You're the most fucked up person I know."
"Well, do you know a lot of people?"
"Yes."
;_;
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I had a relative tell me that they wished my mom had aborted me, because I was just "A pathetic mess". Such a nice thing to say to a child. -_-
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No, they weren't. They were quite selfish. I'm just glad that I no longer have to deal with them.
I didn't fear abandonment, because I had my mom around. I knew she'd take care of me even if the other people did not. Though it would have made things rough financially, because said relative was the one that watched me while my mother worked several jobs to support us. I know my mom would have quit one if she thought I was in trouble. ^^
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Yeppers. Even though a lot of people I've met have been utter shit to me, at least I have my mom and a few close friends.
You have someone like that, right? :<
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I wouldn't be so bitter if I had one. I have some friends,but sadly no one I can truly count on to help me when I'm down. I thought I had at least one,yet I realized this friday that he isn't. Not that he never was,but he changed. I don't think I've realised it just yet,I'm trying to give him a second chance,we've been friends ever since I was 11 - but deep inside,I knew it's over months ago.
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That's terrible. I hope you're able to find someone eventually. ^^
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"Don't you know the difference between blue and purple?" whenever I'm accidentally coloring the sky purple (just an example, that's usually not the case". "No I'm colorblind." I reply. Then they give me the blank stare, then "really?" and I'm all like "Yes, really, why would I lie about that?" to which they reply "Oh, well what color is this?" as they pick up something that's usually red and stick it in my face, at this moment I want to scream and rip their face off, but I instead inform them I am infant knowledgeable in the fact that the item is red, it's at this moment that they usually seem surprised, almost saying with their eyes that I shouldn't know that sort of thing for their own personal amusement. I again want to rip off their face. Let's just say being colorblind is an extremly rage inducing situation.
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My boyfriend's best friend is colour blind. There was a boss in a raid that required you to notice colours and stand in the correct position according to the colours. People would always tell him he fucked up and was wrong when he was actually right just to fuck with him. He's really good natured though so he just laughed with them but other people might have found that annoying.
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Generally, the most disturbing things I have heard can be found in your average youtube comments section, or in reply to things related to videogames or various fandoms. Not the perpetual try-hard taunting and smacktalk, but the few select individuals who amidst all the thinly veiled attempts to offend from people who aren't actually racist/sexist/xenophobic (only pretending to be), but the few who genuinely mean it. It disturbs me that these people are typically of voting age, and are legally allowed to have pets/children.
In every crowd of cathartic anonymous teasers, there is always at one genuine-but-camouflaged-as-just-trolling sociopath or prejudiced person. It's like "The Thing", only nobody is trying to guess who it's disguised as :S
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mmm, like the other user an i love you from a girl you just talk, that´s strange and i feel like i don´t know what do say lol
That´s maybe disturbing :p, or the other things are kisses or other things of girls you just know...
That´s... em strange lol
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The weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, was when a stranger guy started telling me "I can feel a special connection with you, I'm sure you feel it too" and proceeded to wink and smile hintingly. Very disturbing for onlookers, to see a man do that to another.
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"Boy ... mmmmm mmmm MMMMM! You got a nice behind."
I was 13. Seriously.
But then I later realized, if a black girl 3-4 years older than you is complimenting you on your ass ... you've got a great ass.
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I was going through some old things I made and found this: "Although the boobs would suffice, I am not simply lusting after your breasts. You could say I am lusting for everything you are."
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