Hello dear community,

i dont do much post about my private life but i found this morning that i shoud share my joy !!

Despite i wanted a girl (i was selectionning girl first name mostly in fact), the result came from the echography:
a boy...
I feel relieved for now everything is fine and OK after the fifth month echography :-)

If you have any advice please feel free to reply.

  • about sleeping a child
  • about feeeding a child
  • about nursing a child
  • about using a disposable nappy (washable or not) heard about 4 tons used for one child !!!
  • about giving him most of what i can without putting him to much pressure...
  • about making him a good person
  • about everything ;-)

Thank you

Here is some GA mostly free games but there are great games. Start adventure here:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/EqIOx/shadowrun-hong-kong-extended-edition

1 month ago

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Congrats! Here's a neat little trick for calming down a crying baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2C8MkY7Co8

1 month ago
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Thank you for the video :-)

1 month ago
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congrats

1 month ago
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bump, grats

1 month ago
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What a wonderful news, Congratulations!

Concerning your questions... Quintovir, Eindirk and Azraeil gave some great advice, I can tell you how I feel and what I did (I have 4 kids), but in the end, your gut will tell you lots more ;)

One thing I would like to add to their advice is this: Don't let anyone (so called specialists as well) bully you into doing something you feel isn't right for your child...

Oh, and don't fall into the trap of baby formula's, they're overpriced and not nearly as good as they claim: my oldest daughter couldn't digest them (even the anti regurgit types) and was always hungry until I switched to non skimmed milk and Bambix -you have that in France, I know, used to shop a lot in Auchan Ronc- when she was about 5/6 weeks, and it was the first time she felt satisfied after a bottle -I was a single father until she was 3, as the "mother" left us-... All the so called 'specialists" prophesied me hell and Armageddon if I'd do it, but, in the end it was the best thing I could do for my child at that time... And now she's a wonderful 14 year old teenager, so she didn't die, and neither did her three other siblings who never tasted that crap in their life :p

Enjoy letting your boy fall to sleep in your arms (nothing feels better), and don't worry too much, every child has its own little things they like, and none of my four children had the same approach working for them...

1 month ago
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Thank you :-)
Wooow a single father : total respect !!

1 month ago
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congrats and bump!

1 month ago
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Congratulations!

1 month ago
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Congrats and thx for the GA :)

1 month ago
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Congratulations :o)

A own child was the best i experienced in my life and much better then expectedt.
I made myself crazy with reading a lot of books, to do all "right", and the books tell a lot of crap. One book say do X the other say X is wrong do Y.
His mother, that had 3 kids before, was much more relaxed.
So my first advice is don't read books/magazines to it.
You will know the needed things by yourself and from thinking with normal human acting/behavior, as soon as you need it.
I known exactly what my son wanted when he cried and squeezed one of my fingers he grabbed with his hand That was enough to know if he was hungry, have pain, the pampers was full -normaly you smell that too :-D- or something else.

My second advice and from my point of view one of the most important, is that you use each day the same rules. Not one day this way, next day different, next day again different.
Kids need fixed rules to orientate on it.

That will be, partly, stressful because kids hate rules :-D BUT in the end much more relaxed for the child AND you.
Without it you need to fight each day what is allowed and what isn't and that is really energy consuming.
The child will test from time to time if the rules have, magically, changed (if it gets now 2 icecreams or a big bag of sweets without to question or something else^^) but if you have fixed rules that will be only half hearted attempts to riot :-D

Try to buy a lot second hand or you are very fast poor. They need sooooo much clothes stuff and it change so often from the size that nearly all second hand stuff is in very good condition (in germany you get the second hand stuff for around 10-20% of the new price).

Take yourself time for and with the child and not life completly in a hurry each day.

When they are older i advice that they must help in the flat/house/garden. Not much but a bit to see that nothing comes without effort and that they must do a bit if they want a nice room and toys.
And adding a reward system on top of it if they (want to) do more is great too. So they see they get something if they do more as the minimum.
It isn't so important as the rewards are sweets, tv time, a special game or something else.. its partly a teaching for later when they must stand on their own feets.

Accept that the child will fall, make mistakes and all that. It will happen and you can't prevent all -but can be around to help after it happened-. They will learn from it as each one of us in later years too.

Let them help at cooking was a very good thing too. They liked the result much more, been proud on it, more hungry and eat a lot more of the stuff they don't wanted before.
At the begin they make more work as they help (at the cooking too) but easy stuff as to stir in a sauce are a safe thing (normaly not needed but they can't make something wrong^^)

And mostly don't give much on the pedagogues oppinions. I seen soooo many that talked crap and thinked they know all at least in germany are much of them overwhelmed with their own child(s) and have only knowledge in theory but fail in practice. That doesn't counts for all but if they have own childs look how they treat them and if that doesn't fits then their advices doesn't fit too.

It would give so much more advices but i think hundreds will write you now and you will need much time to read all :)

EDIT:
It gave a great quote to childs

"Don't give me what i want,
give me what i need"

That's the most important advice.

1 month ago*
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Very nice of you :-)
Thank you

1 month ago
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Congratulations!
I have no advice, so here's a Bump~ :)

1 month ago
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Congratulations!

1 month ago
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Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! I wish him a long and happy life! :DD

1 month ago
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Amazing, man! I'm still a bit far from being a dad but I wish you nothing but the best on this amazing journey!!
It's really not the same but I help take care of 3 nieces and the advice I could give you is that sometimes it will seem they've gone rogue and eveything is out of control - then you need to press this red button and rationalize the situation:

View attached image.
1 month ago
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:-D
i dont for now !! ;-)

1 month ago
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Congrats and bump!

1 month ago
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Congrats! As I am not a father I can´t speak for experience but as someone who watched cousins grow my advice to you is to be patient.
Whenever you have the time play with your child just have fun with him and that will be like a base for him to grow happy and most important a good person in the future

1 month ago
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Thank you :-)

1 month ago
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Congrats :)

1 month ago
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Congrats!

1 month ago
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Congratulations. Maybe it's a unusual advice, but it's sooo important for him and for the perents: Always be consequent. If you say No to him, it is a no. If you promise to play with him a game, play with him game. Children needs consequent parents and they need reliability and rituals. I know it's often easyer to be inconseqent - but only for now.
Childrens are no adults, we often forget that. But if you will lead your heart the way, it can't be too wrong. I'm sure, if you love your little prince (and sometimes feed him and change the diapers) he gets all he need to make a good start in a wonderful and positive life. Believe in you!
I wish you all the best! 💖

1 month ago
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Thank you very much :-)

1 month ago
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Congrats! I'm not a parent or a would-be parent myself but from what I heard, it's best to catch up on the Zees before your child is born. The first few months - up to a year can be quite rough and if you're already severely sleep deprived before then, you'll feel the negative effects (such as irritability) a lot quickly when you have the baby.

Wishing you the best for the next chapter of your life's journey! :)

1 month ago
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Thank you. Yes the mack of sleep will be present but it is OK for me (i hope :-D )

1 month ago
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No solid advise from me, I pass you a very general one from a recent mother:

Don't get to much advise, it makes you crazy - buy one or two children books at max (or a trustworthy internet source) and stick to it.
A lot of stuff in unnecessary, contradicts itself to much detail if you inform yourself => you will become crazy by trying to be perfect.

All our ancestors survived as well


AS said I'm just passing on what was told, no personal experience ;)
Last but not least. Congratulations! You can do it!

1 month ago
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BUMP

1 month ago
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I have a 1 month old boy. If I could give you just one advice then it would be "dont overdo it and dont overthink it". Internet is full of advices that often contradict each other. Just take it easy, it will all come naturally but it will take time.

It is also essential that you find at least a little bit of free time for your boyfriend/husband and so does he. He should also help as much as possible with anything that you ask of him. I try to help my wife as much as I can so she always bas af least an hour of time just for herself. It does wonders and keeps her sane :)

1 month ago*
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Easy and cool is the mother. For my part i quite always like too much to anticipate, i will do my best to keep it cool

1 month ago
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So sorry, somehow I thought you were the mother ^^

1 month ago
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;-)

1 month ago
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Good bye, free time..) Congratulations, Khayolin! I hope you could use some help from your parents, their good and expert advice, specially while your boy is still so small <3

1 month ago
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Congratulations! :)

1 month ago
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Congrats, my best friend have 3 boys. I don't have kids so I can't really comment. But one thing I will say is you love them but even as a baby, just because they cry, don't always run to them right away and pick them up all the time. Otherwise, the kid won't ever learn to put himself to sleep and you'll never get rest. Can't always pick them up (the kid can't be carried forever in life).

1 month ago
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TKS

1 month ago
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your welcome

1 month ago
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Congratulations!!
The best advice I can give you is: expect to lose your temper, and know there's nothing wrong with that. Your patience will be tested, and sleep deprivation and other factors will prevent you from being your best self. So allow yourself to get mad and lose your temper. You're not a monster because you do, as long as you control what you do in that state.
There's a lot of pressure around you, expecting you to be perfect, and think the baby is perfect, and that you should not be mad and always love him. Well, the truth is that's a load of bullshit. Never stop loving and taking care of him, but know you're not perfect and you're going to get angry at him from time to time and that doesn't make you a bad parent.

It may seem like a stupid piece of advice, but trust me, it's not. Our mental health as parents is often overlooked, and it shouldn't be. Parenting is extremely taxing on your mental health. Society puts too much pressure on you to be the perfect parent, and the reality is you won't be. You'll have to LEARN, and in that process you'll make mistakes. ACCEPTING that you're not the best parent is difficult, and I guess that's the advice I'm really giving you here. Allow yourself to learn and get better.

I wish you the best of luck, you're taking your first steps into a wonderful journey

1 month ago
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Thank you for this kind words :-)

1 month ago
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