Getting Burned For Being Nice

Well, give him a POT-ato.

Friends and money are almost always a bad mix. I'm sorry you not only lost money but lost friends over their actions - but it seems you may be better off in the long run because with friends like those, who needs enemies!

I lend money to the friends I trust only. Never had any problem with them.

They're no loss, better off without them.

I actually had a similar situation in which I asked for it back and this guy ends up always saying he is going to pay it back, until its too late and end up drifting away from being friends. Its not like your story where you guys are immediately not friends anymore but still a similar situation anyway. After this happened I say never lend anyone money or anything at all really.

Once you need to reach a certain point where you dont care about money anymore.If youre calculating what you give and stuff like that there is a problem in that friendship...

I would seem they weren't actually your friends... I never had this problem, but I have only lent money to the people whom I trust.

Not your loss it would seem, well except for the money

Consider it a purchase. You've bought your way out of a false friendship that otherwise could have bit you when it really mattered.

never lend friends or family money. Its not good for either of you. Either GIVE them the money because you care about their situation or don't. But lending causes problems.

From my experience if the friend is not a best friend and you mix money in this "friendship" probably you lost them both(money and "friend")!But dont worry if you lost them!The true friends never get lost! :D

I don't lend money to Friends (with a capital F, as opposed to just friends) - if they need it, I just give it to them without wanting it back (and I often have to clash with their pride). That being said, I have a lot of friends and very little Friends, which makes things easy.

You can have friends that run of with your money but then again it can get even worse (or better depending on the situation) if they run of with your wife or girlfriend! ^ ^

In the end I personally prefer quality over quantity as some tiny gold nuggets are much better then a dump truck filled with fool's gold.

Edit: As CCL666 said just above here: one can have Friends and one can have friends!

simple solution. don't have friends. works for me.

Never lend money, only give it if you can afford to loose it. If they do return it thats just a bonus.

Sorry to say, but I think it's better that it happened. At least you know what kind of person he is. And I completely disagree with people who say that lending money can only cause troubles - there was a time when I was in really hard situation and one of my friend lend me big sum. I pay it all up, even though she wanted to reduce the debt. It's the matter of personality. Generally, sadly, people very easily get used to generosity.

That's because he wasnt a "friend" to you. People seem to misunderstand the meaning of friendship. He simply used you and then moved on when he no longer needed you. That's an asshole, not a friend.

Friend list where? Was this a real life friend?

There are a few nice sayings regarding this topic, my favourite one being:

If you lend money to a friend, you will lose both your money and your friend.

You didn't get burned for being nice. You got burned for not realizing that giving someone something with an expectation that you'll get something back is a test of trust, with a possible cost. Estimate the risk and make sure you're willing to pay the cost first. Don't beat yourself up over getting it wrong, it happens. There's no way to get close friendships without giving people the opportunity to abuse your trust. The ones that do fail the friendship test. It's not a comment on your personality.

My personal policy is to never lend money to anyone. If I give you money, I'm not expecting it back. I'll be pleased if you do give it back, and if you don't I'm not likely to ever give you anything again, but the first time's on the house as long as the house knows it can afford it.

Sorry but sounds to me you have a little bit low standards for calling someone a friend. I have a pretty small group of ppl I would actualy call friends and not acquaintances, familiars etc. If any actual friend would ask me for money - I'd give it to him no questions asked. But I also know that none of them would ask unless they would really need it nor would pull any kind of shennenigans on me.

Always think of lending money as a gift, don't ever expect to get it back. If someone is asking friends/family for money because they can't pay their bills, they obviously have a financial management problem that needs attention. Help them solve the root of the problem. Figure out why they don't have any money. They either need to earn more or spend less.

I think Movac's quote sums it up the best

never give a friend a loan that you wouldn't give as a gift

And if you grow estranged over this, then they weren't such good friends to begin with, so no big loss right?

I've lent money to close friends I really trust before. But I knew I wouldn't have to bug them to get paid back. Then again, I also paid a friend's utility bills behind her back because she refused any kind of help and was about to get disconnected.