Once you are outside of spaces with built-in friend mechanisms (such as school), it truly does take honest effort to establish and maintain friendships.
That said, it sounds like you have an issue with a jerk. That sucks. Try to remember that each friendship, whether it ends well or badly, is all accrued experience building toward better personal relationships for yourself. You learn what kind of people are positive for you to associate with, and what personality traits/tendencies to avoid.
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Okay, Im glad I acxured the expwince of being ignired, but I kinda alreadt had that. I guess I learned don't befriend anyone who says they like you 'cause they're definitely lying cunts
And people that talk about my penis, have me meet them without really knowing them to make porn, or guilt me into being thier gf with talk of suicide are good potential friends.
And I have an issue with many jerks, although I admit that it kinda turned towards one towards the end of the rant, and I'm pissed she ruined my appitite now, I just wanna forget her.
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Once you are outside of spaces with built-in friend mechanisms (such as school), it truly does take honest effort to establish and maintain friendships.
QFT. None of my friends from school have remained such.
As someone said down below "Only temporary relationships of convenience." No one cares.
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I didn't before, but I'm done with people now. Lasting friendships don't exist, and it doesn't really matter since I plan to be dead the next few years. Sending nudes after people stop responding seems to work well enough to keep the few friends I care to keep, and duxk everyone else, tho not literally even though I guess I'm a whore?
But I really mean I can't when I say I can't, maybe I'll get past my anxiety in the future, but I'm done with people so It'll be irrelevant. And ranting like this is the most i've ever had people respond to me, if I were still looking for friends, this would be tye surefire way to do it.
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Some of my oldest and closest friends I only see a couple of times a year and sometimes between visits we won'rt even talk. Once we do get together though we can pickup right where we left off like it was only yesterday. Other friends I see/speak too daily.
You just need to find the right people and when you do it'll all just click.
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i dont understand, you want to have friends, thats understandable, id be your friend,
but you also hate humans, which , makes no sense? do you want someone to waste time to talking to for hours? or a friend? because you can have alot of feelings for a friend, but NOT hate.
honestly, with all due respect, but i have seen you post multiple times, it was always this, rant, full of swearing, (mostly) useless posts, so it would make my heart mixed, is she an online troll? would trusting her be as good as wasting my time?,
your level is high, you give alot, you are kind
you have 7 k comments, but something is wrong you know?its like, you want people but you push people.
anyway, im sorry for any offence, didnt mean any.
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No offense taken, I get that my post aren't always tht clear. I wanted friends. Made a few. They were awful people. Most people are awful and I hate them. I still want friends, but because people are awful I'm done with people.
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there are ALOT of awful people, but honestly, i have met some nice people who werent actually in to get something, i dont think im a good friend, nor even good, but ill add you , if you needed to talk ill be here, if we clicked we click.
but its far too early giving up on people, its far too early.
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I have three people who actually care about me, or close enough. I'm glad I met them before giving up on people.
Honestly though I wish I never made a single friend, it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all is some bullshit. Being alone is better than being alone while people lie to you and say they're your friend. It's far to late to give up, it'd be far better if I never started.
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yeah, i agree , its better to stay lonely than being surrounded by bad people.
if its far too late, why did you make your post?
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Honestly though I wish I never made a single friend, i
Block the three friends > your world saved.
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You'll be glad to hear that my relationships have indeed all crashed and burned. Unfortunately, my makeup career just keeps skyrocketing with no end in sight to its meteoric rise. As for my nudes, I keep posting them to the forum, but mods keep deleting them :/
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There is no such thing as friendship.
Only temporary relationships of convenience.
When people need something from you, they become your "friends".
When they don't need anything from you, they call you "strangers".
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You only feel this way because you've never had a true friend.
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Your reasoning has one fatal flaw.
What are Dogs then?
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That temporary relationship depends on you and your friend. If you truly respect and like someone you always try to get in touch with them or be together.
And only self-seeking people will think that you become friends because of ''need''. And you shouldn't even be friends with them at first.
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You seem to be young enough to attend a university. Have you tried clubs and sports?
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I've tried groups, but when you can't talk to anyone you won't make friends.
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If you're expecting online friendships to be deep and lasting ... I think your expectations are a little off. In my opinion, online friendships are one of convenience. I'm in a couple of chat groups. When I don't feel like talking, I ignore whatever's going on. When I feel like chatting, I'll be a little more active. It's not a real friendship or relationship where I am investing time and being considerate of the other person's feelings.
Obviously not everyone feels the same way, but I suspect I'm in the majority. I have a real life outside of my Steam personality, with work, family, friends and other commitments and pressures that require real time investment and cannot be ignored.
I don't think you're necessarily an unusual case. If you're finding it difficult to make friends, find groups or clubs or something where there's a shared passion. That automatically gives you a common point to discuss and mutually interested things to geek out about.
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I have no interests and gave up on all my passions, and most importantly I can't talk or interact with people.
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why do I always have to be the one to initiate 'cause I can't
I can relate to that...
My social life is pretty much non-existent outside of the online world (or namely, Steam and its sub-parts) and I almost never initiate conversation with anyone. The only interaction I have is with people who initiate conversation with me in the first place, which are very few. It's really interesting how, over the year, the "one" has changed. I won't name anyone because I believe that who people chat with on a regular basis is a personal and private matter, but I think that over the last 2 years there have been around 5 people who messaged me consistently for a few months, before suddenly (or smoothly) fading away, leaving the place for another person. Currently, the person who used to message me almost every day has been extremely quiet. As it stands, I'm in a "quiet" moment. Nobody messages me regularly. Will someone else take their place as the "one"? Probably. It's a matter of time.
In any case, I don't really mind. Sure, it's fun to have a chat with people, but I can't help but feel I'm not a pleasant person to get to know. I feel like people tend to give me too much credit about how I'm apparently "nice", which honestly, is bullshit in my opinion. I'm polite, and I like to help people, but if you get to know me a bit more, that image kind of fades out and the true me is a bit more, huh... "crude"? Anyways, I guess this is probably why people tend to stop chatting with me after a few months. That or, I don't know.
But yeah. It's not something that bothers me too much. I think I'm kind of a loner, and I don't tend to get "lonely" easy. It's just an interesting thing I felt like writing when I saw this thread.
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I'm sitting last 40 minutes ahead of monitor and thinking what can I write, because I feel that I should write something.
Since I'm a bit antisocial and have problems with talking with strangers (I don't know about what I should talk, good themes are ending really fast) I know a bit what you fell. A bit, because I was lucky and made friends irl. now we know each other almost 10 years. Few more and I will be able to say that I know them half of my life. It's not like I found them, probably I'm not able to find friends by myself. They found me and made my life better, so I think I can say, that friendship exist.
But we can't call everybody we know "friends". When someone is no more talking with you, well, it happens - there is something required to be a friends, something what bounds you. It is almost like searching for love. If both of people don't feel need to talk sometimes, sent funny picture or something, they are not friends, they just know each others.
So if someone is ignoring you and isn’t trying keep contact with you – ignore him/her too, there is probably no chance for you to be a friend. Find people who loves thing that you also loves. Send message to them. Talk with them. They are not responding? It sad, but nothing unusual, it’s time to try with someone else. They are responding? Sending out of nowhere message with funny gif that they found on 9gag? Good! You can probably be a friends. Probably because there is no instruction “101 way how to make a friend”. Just after talking with someone for a long time you realizing, that you know someone very well and this person also know you very well. But both of you still want to talk with each other. That’s a friendship.
Of course, it’s only my point of view.
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people are always like , I wanna be friends with you but you never talk to me. But they never talk either, why do I always have to be the one to initiate
I can relate to this.
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Those people weren't very good friends. You need to size people up better if you are feeling used when parting ways.
I wanna be friends with you but you never talk to me. But they never talk either, why do I always have to be the one to initiate 'cause I can't.
If you like the person (platonic or not, it doesn't matter), then you need to build a relationship which makes them want to interact with you. Why should they message you? Why should they even respond when you message them?
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People become friends because they share something or see something they like in each other, and sharing and helping each other strengthens that friendship.
I'd say that most people aren't jerks, but some are, and if you want to draw nice people to be your friends, they need to be able to relate to you and enjoy your company, and, based on your posts, that can be hard. I don't enjoy being around someone abrasive, and you usually come off as one.
people are always like , I wanna be friends with you but you never talk to me. But they never talk either, why do I always have to be the one to initiate
Stop thinking about that. If you really want to be a friend, you don't need to think about that. You want to talk with someone, talk to them. That's how you build the friendship, by talking about stuff you like and opening up. People may be busy with other stuff, and you just might not be the first thing on their mind, but if you talk to them and they enjoy your company, they're more likely to think about you and contact you. If they enjoy your company and know you enjoy theirs, I think they'll be even more likely to contact you.
Personally I'm pretty bad about keeping in touch with people, but I can tell you that the best relationships are with those who don't care about whether you contacted them or not, and just call if they want or accept a call with happiness after a long time you haven't called, and just talk about stuff.
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Making friends online needs to be spontaneous. If you try to make friendship online it never works. I'm not trying to make a rule here, but I'm talking about my experience.
It will be weird and useless and you'll feel like you had something wrong, you are not interesting or maybe they'll "find some better friends". Anyway, after trying some sites, forums, and trying to be a pen pal, etc. I got to the conclussion that most people are not trying to make friends. People make posts like "I want a best friend", like if you can ask for this, what the fuck and, in reality, they just want some conversations. Short term.
Of course, nobody says that, they are selling themselves.
Then you have the lonely types, they want someone to talk with, they'll scream they have a lot of psychological problems, sometimes is true, sometimes not. Under my experience, I rather not talk with that people because the ones that ara faking that shit are not good people (imho) and I have no resources to know if they are telling the truth or not. Conversations with those will be also short term.
So either you find someone you have a lot of common by making those short term chatting, or you stop convincing yourself there is going to be some kind of real friendshhip online with the net tools.
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Get Overwatch top 500 rank and carry all your new friends.
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If you're talking about steam friends, they're friends only by the name. People add them to make a trade deal, to ask for help once or to read their reviews.
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer to interact with people I know personally. Find someone from your neighbourhood to play and chat with. Also, people dislike it when you hate them, keep that fact in mind.
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'cause fuck y'all. And I really fucking hate them [humans]. I hope your relationships crash and burn and your makeup career goes nowhere.
Probably that's why nobody starts a conversation.
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Now sure, but not before. and I'm done with people now so I honestly don't care. Well, I still do care about those three people but I wish I didn't.
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I'm done with people now so I honestly don't care
Blah blah blah. I know you care because you've made a thread about it. You don't care about my cat because you never talk about it. Why you're not honest with yourself? I know it feels good to feel bad but it also feels good to feel good, you know. Living requires hard work. If you do nothing, nothing happens. Simple as that. Do. You will fail a lot of times because life is like that. You can accept it and take life in your own hands or not. You can live or you can think about living.
Honestly, it is your life, do whatever you feel is good for you. If you think crying is good for you - cry. If you think smiling is good for you - smile. If you think insulting people is good for you - insult them. If you think loving people is good for you - love them. If you think sitting alone is good for you - sit alone. If you think writing with another person is good for you - write to that person. It is your life. Yours. Nobody will choose for you how to live it.
Don't read people minds because you will never know what they are thinking. Never. You waste your time on something that doesn't make any sense at all. You could do something interesting in this place, even playing a video game. You want something? Take it. That's how life works. If you are hungry you're not waiting for a sandwich to come to you, you go to a kitchen and make yourself a sandwich. Nobody can feel your hunger but you. Same with people - you want to talk to them, go and talk to them. Nobody feels your loneliness. We just can't. Just as we cannot feel your hunger. It is the same thing.
Life is a business. Take a look at companies. They don't wait for you to find them. They are saying "Hey, psst! Buddy! We are here! Come look, we have the best phones in the world! Take a look at this one, isn't it beautiful? Yes, it is!" It's not that people like Apple because it is Apple. They like it because Apple have found them first. Gave them something they've needed as first. Apple wasn't waiting for people, Apple was looking for them. Apple invested in them. And Apple commercials are everywhere, still! They are worldwide company and they still have ads, just like McDonalds, Mercedez, Netflix. Becuase once you'll stop, you'll start dying. That's how it works. Do. Or not - it is your life.
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I was honest, I do still care about those three people but wish I didn't. I don't care about anyone else though and I don't plan on it, 'cause I don't wanna feel like this about other people too.
I Like that metaphor though, friendship is just as shitty as capitalism. Life is a fucking awful gift that parents force upon their children, and it's so stupid how much our society enforces the right to life but no the right to die and end the fucking suffering of life.
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Indeed, life has no sense at all. So we can choose the sense of life on our own. You've just chosen to suffer.
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I chose to be like this as much as I chose to be a boy, life ain't a choice, it's a lottery we're all forced into, and mine has negative value.
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1) Stop being so hostile.
2) Irrelevant, but nice hair.
3) I've told you 1000 times, but you've never listened. Still, the greatest way to meet new people is to have a pet and go with it at a park, where you'll meet other pet owners. If you don't like your current (?) dog, get another. Anyway, at the park, it'll be really easy to talk to people, merely by talking about your pets (breeds, names, letting them play together and commenting how cute they are, etc.). Other ways are attending hobbies and going to places where these hobbies can be attended, etc.
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What are friends? That sounds vaguely familiar. I think I used to have a few of those a long time ago.
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Maybe it's because everyone you have met so far are dicks, or just weeb boys that never have seen a woman online,
- maybe you need to find few girls to be your friends (vampkitty69 is a cool girl I know, and she always accepts new friends)
- you really need to meet better people, and no not every one are jerks, so don't lose hope :)
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I mean, I'm friends and was friends with mostly girls, so I don't think thats it. And I was emailing vampkitty and she stopped responding so idk.
Sure not everyone are jerks, but most are and chances are making a friend is gonna hurt me instead of be positive and it's not worth the risk.
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well if you don't take the risk, you will be alone forever, for some people, they get to know good people right from the start, some like you are just not that lucky but that doesn't mean that you should stop trying :)
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Life ain't forever, I'll only be alone for like 11 more years then I won't exist and none of this''l matter.
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even for 1 day, you should be happy.
and you are young so I would say smth like ~40 more years,
don't get the wrong idea i'm not one of those positivists, but It's not really good to be over negative too
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I mean, I don't plan on living my natural lifespan, I don't really see a point living after 30.
And my attitude ain't great, but I can't find reasons to be positive, and I don't wanna lie or fake it.
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I get what you are trying to say, can I ask why don't you see a point for living after 30s?
btw I sent you a steam req, accept it if u want I wanna talk to you from time to time
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I mean, being a kid to teenager are the best parts of life and I lost and wasted those. the 20's are second best but I doubt I'll get well in that time. past 30 or 35 life starts sucking more, and my life already sucks,theres really no point in going through that.
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So why do you describe yourself as wasted anyways?
what have you been through that makes you feel like this?
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Nothing, I did and experienced nothing my entire life and probably never will.
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Well, do you want to talk about it?
is this bothering you that much? if you are sad, we can help you but you have to at least want to be helped :)
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Yeah, I don't want to be helped. sometimes I get bad and ranting helps, so that leads to this.
I've talked about this a bit before and can again if you want.
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I wouldn't call anyone bad if they ask for help in forums or discussions, it kinda is the best use of the forums :)
and honestly I have no idea what really is your problem so that if I can help with it :u
but it seems that you are very protective and on one hand you want to trust others and on the other hand you are afraid to trust...
I don't want to make a wrong judgement though, so either you can just talk to me, or stop it, you were looking for help/friend and yet you are rejecting it :)
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I mean, I'm not looking for friends or help, ranting is helpful, this thread has already served it's purpose in helping me. but I do like talking so I don't mind it.
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I'm 41, and this just isn't true. I suppose it might be for some people, but it's not like a rule of life. Anyone whose life starts sucking after 30 needs to make some different choices in their life.
Life is what you make of it. And if you approach it that way, age is literally just a number.
I don't feel much different today than I did when I was 25. Circumstances in my life have changed, and some things are better and some things are worse. But life absolutely does not "start sucking more" just because you turn a certain age!
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I love how wise some older people are. I am only 6 years behind and I agree with almost all of that. Although my body creaks more at 35 than it did at 25 ;P
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Oh no question, physically things do change a little as you get older.
But every (adult) person has the ability to make choices that affect their life in a positive way. If your life isn't going the way you want, make different choices. Move to a new town. Volunteer. Get a job if you don't have one. Join a club. Learn a language online. Take a pottery class. Start working out. Ask the girl next door on a date.
If your life sucks for a while, that's normal. Happens to everyone. But if your life continues to suck for a long time, it's because you're letting it happen.
Is all of this easier said than done? Yes indeed. I wish I could listen to my own advice more often! But if you can make some choices and do just a couple of things differently, you'd be surprised as to how often it turns into a domino effect.
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Yeah, I don't want to be helped.
we are trying our best to help her and she responds like this...
i'm pretty sure she will start feeling better soon enough.
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Very very true. Still, there are people who seem to like to thrive on misery, it's easier to complain about one's life being shit and fish for sympathy and well wishes (and I am not necessarily saying it's the case here) than it is to actually change that life direction.
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Not an honest question, more a rant 'cause fuck y'all. Feel free to ignore.
I tried making friends online and people either stopped talking to me or never started, although its probably my fault 'cause like, I can't start conversations, but people are always like , I wanna be friends with you but you never talk to me. But they never talk either, why do I always have to be the one to initiate 'cause I can't. I don't understand humans. And I really fucking hate them.
It's not possible that everybody waits for others to talk to them, it's just they only go out of their way to talk to people they really want, not people they just tolerate or want to use. I'm glad you can tell me you missed me once and ask for my nudes, but then ignore me 80% of the time afterwords and not even flirt with me while you do everyone else. Why even pretend when you don't care? Why even trick your way to nudes if you don't want them? But I'm done saying stuff to you just for it to never be responded too. I hope your relationships crash and burn and your makeup career goes nowhere.
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