Good job with all that, gurl. I have severe anxiety too. Probably more personal than social, though... Hard to tell since I literally have only 1 friend and no social life.
PS. why not wear the shirt over top of something else instead of going to all the trouble of sewing it? Just curious.
Comment has been collapsed.
Because it was an L size men's shirt and I'm kind of careful about how I look, don't really want to wear wrong size items or anything like that...
Comment has been collapsed.
I almost missed seeing Megadeth when I went to their concert once. The venue had 3 stages and I didn't know the third stage even existed, and thought it was just taking a really long time for them to set up their gear at the second stage. We ended up finding the third stage right as they started their set. I did miss Fear Factory and Dream Theatre's sets though out of my stupidity. :(
Comment has been collapsed.
Also, I started taking Lexapro for anxiety recently, it seems to help a little bit, but I think I need a slightly higher dose.
Comment has been collapsed.
I have anxiety all the time too, too hard to talk to people when I don't know anybody unless I have a bunch of friends around.
Comment has been collapsed.
If a guy walks over to you to chat and be friendly, that means he thinks you look friendly (and your hair hasn't scared him off). If he hangs around for more than a minute, it means he thinks you're nice and wants to know more about you. If he leaves reluctantly/slowly (e.g. talks about having to leave, but is still hanging around), it's because he'd rather stay with you instead of whatever is dragging him away. If you're the one who walks away, he will follow you with his eyes if he likes you.
Compare that to...
If I guy doesn't come over to you, but you come over to him, instead, he will smile and say, "Hi" if he is friendly. If he turns back to the people he was with instead of talking to you, it means you should excuse yourself when you get the chance. If you stick around and he quickly finds a reason to leave, he is uninterested in you and trying to get away. If you continue to follow him (Why in the world would you do that?), he will either make it clear he's not available to talk, or he will turn his back on you and ignore you. Either way, you should get the hint.
Guys don't walk over to girls unless they have a reason to do so. They are not thinking about your hair, nor are they noticing all of those imperfections in your appearance. Most often, they are noticing the color of your eyes and how often you smile. (Half of them are also undressing you with their eyes, but you can usually tell that type of guy fairly quickly.) Guys are incredibly easy to deal with and "read." All a woman really needs to know to take :"the measure" of a guy is two things: a) how much of his focus is on you; and b) how considerate he is in his behavior toward others. The first tells you whether or not you have his attention. The second tells you whether or not his attention is a good thing to have.
Comment has been collapsed.
that means he thinks you look friendly
That can't be... I have a natural bitchface so there's no chance that I'd look friendly at any time...
But thanks for the tutorial, it will help my dudewatching. :3
Comment has been collapsed.
There's a lot more to seeming "friendly" than the expression on one's face. If you're coming across as "unfriendly," most guys will steer clear. (Some guys go looking for trouble.)
Comment has been collapsed.
I have a natural bitchface
Just based on the pic you posted, I'd disagree with that. You look more... maybe focused? Maybe a little intense, just a little? But definitely not bitchy. I would definitely walk over to talk to a girl who looked like you, if I had the nerve anyway (I tend to have a bit of social anxiety as well, especially re: pretty girls). You shouldn't be so hard on yourself!
Comment has been collapsed.
I guess people interpret it differently. Could be mad, or sad... but "what's wrong" is really the one universal question they always ask me.
Comment has been collapsed.
If that's all you got out of my reply, you weren't paying attention. It's true that guys always want sex, but there is much more to life than sex. It is for that very reason that I left sexuality out of my reply. As the switch is always in the "on." position, that variable can be ignored. Only the immature, underdeveloped types can't focus on anything else. The rest of us do our thinking with the big head instead of the small one.
Comment has been collapsed.
True, I can't speak for others, but I do have at least 45 years of experience with males from all around the globe, in a variety of different environments and situations, backed up by years of study in Psychology, Social Psychology, Anthropology, Sociology, and in-depth study. so I'm not totally spouting nonsense..
Comment has been collapsed.
I found a comic about anxiety while browsing stupid shit today, but didn't save it because it wasn't particularly funny, and I don't like metal so I also can't deliver on the second thing. I don't got memes, and I've dongered myself out with my copypasta thread, so you can this poser donger ರ_ರ
and some lizards because they're as cold blooded as you.
Comment has been collapsed.
These lizards are cute. 10/10 would cuddle like a lizard.
Comment has been collapsed.
In situations like that smoking some herb chills me right out.
Comment has been collapsed.
What karma are you talking about? xD
Comment has been collapsed.
Weirdly enough i am REALLY ancious but not when i am around peolple, when i am with people i kinda am but i just make a fool of myself and have fun with everyone and i stop worring the ancious part starts when i am alone at my house
Comment has been collapsed.
! [ ] ( https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/83/dd/7b/83dd7b0c56a1b0afe28fd4cb3099ea78.jpg )
without all the spaces :>
Comment has been collapsed.
Reminds me of the time I went to see Deftones, except I went with a (platonic) friend, and I don't look as good in a tank top.
Next month I'll get to see the horde on their way home each night, punishing themselves with late-night McDonald's and dollar pizza after attending Governors Ball Music Festival.
Glad you had a good time.
Comment has been collapsed.
I also suffer from severe anxiety when going to certain places.
Dunno why it happens, though... I wish to live a normal life sometimes, like everybody else :/
Comment has been collapsed.
Impossible... I'm so scared I wouldn't talk to them. ;_;
Comment has been collapsed.
Real metalheads are actually sensitive souls, so I'm not surprised you can get unsettled by something trivial. I hope you had a good time at the gig.
Comment has been collapsed.
I love that... Megadeth (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I really wouldn't know how to approach you, so don't worry about me
I will only look at you from behind my sunglasses
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Comment has been collapsed.
thanks for living megadeth life \m/ faith in youth restored - (lel I added this to every ga comment=
Comment has been collapsed.
I'm not young, I'm already twelve and a half!
But yeah, let's say Megadeth made their best albums around the time when I was born, or 5 years old.
Comment has been collapsed.
The fact that you went there (alone I assume?) is a great victory over anxiety! And you even talked to people and made new friends. Lord Anxiety is brooding over his failure somewhere.
Comment has been collapsed.
Yeah, I also have a hard time talking to people or being around people. I'm already pretty nervous for the Iron Maiden concert I'm going to the 8th of june...
Comment has been collapsed.
Wow, really beautiful shirt! You look awesome. ^_^ I know I can't "magically" help you get rid of your anxiety, but relax and let the others talk to you and like you. They say that we accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve more for sure. :D
Comment has been collapsed.
That's a weird topic... but the more I think about the concept of deserving love, the more I realize even though people may say I deserve it because I'm kind of reasonable and not evil on purpose, I really don't because I think it should be like a fair trade but I'm not really willing to trade my individuality and independence for good relationships... I'm just selfish... in reasonable limits, and not unfairly selfish, but I can't stand when people expect something from me...
Comment has been collapsed.
They don't want you to give them money, games, and shit. xD They just want you to talk with them, not to give them items. :P Other than that, you decide what else you want to give them. If you want to have a relationship with someone, just give him love. Still no need to do something difficult. :P (Shit, my English suck! I just read what I wrote!). o.O
Comment has been collapsed.
I didn't mean items. If they want to talk while I don't want to talk, that's already too much. I only give as much as I prefer to give, but when you form some kind of relationship/friendship with people, they will expect you to be there for them always, which is a huge responsibility.
Comment has been collapsed.
You are exaggerating. You don't have to ALWAYS be there for the others. Just listen to them when they want to talk to you. Not wanting to talk to others when they talk to you, is a bit rude, sorry. :/ As you said yourself, you sound too selfish. Have other people ever judged you about your selfishness?
Comment has been collapsed.
Not wanting to talk to others when they talk to you, is a bit rude, sorry. :/
No, it's not. If you insist it to be, then it's as rude and selfish as talking to someone who doesn't want to have conversation at the moment. if not more
You can't demand from people to give more than they are capable to.
Comment has been collapsed.
If you were talking to me and I would be like "I don't want to talk to you", how would you react? If I kept doing it, then obviously you wouldn't want to talk to me anymore. I never said about "demanding" to do something for the others, but all I said is that don't expect the others to do something for you if you act like that. Just think as both sides of the coin. And although anxiety is a serious problem that can't easily get fixed, I can't really consider selfishness as a problem that can't be fixed. Still, it's Dianatrix's choice, so I won't insist. :P
Comment has been collapsed.
Depends, if we're friends and I know the reason, I'd give you as much space as you need. If not, I wouldn't bother much, 'cause I wouldn't care about you.
I agree about it being both sides of the coin, but the thing Diana agrees too, I guess (she said she thinks it should be fair trade). And she doesn't seem to expect other people to do stuff for her, she has problem with other people expecting her to do stuff for them, when she's not willing to (e.g. having others pay more than it's worth for the stuff she's willing to sell and feeling that she is expected give them something extra to balance the value, but all the stuff left is too important to her to part with it).
Comment has been collapsed.
Well, if I end up being rude when I'm just being myself, why would I have friends, then... I'd rather be myself, and not rude towards anyone. That's exactly the kind of stuff I meant.
I'm not sure if people have judged me or not... possibly have. I've been alone my whole life so I really don't have the "share always with your brothers and sisters" mentality that big families have. You could say I'm a spoiled only child, even though I was poor my whole life, raised by a mother who didn't control me as much as parents usually do, and tried to provide the best stuff for me anyway, but otherwise just let me raise myself without interfering much. So that being said, I guess it only makes sense that I continue isolating myself, because I want to be a good person, but I know I don't have the right mindset for it, so it's like a polite gesture to not let anyone become somehow attached to me to the point where it would be possible for me to accidentally be rude to them, or disappoint them, yknow?
Comment has been collapsed.
I know the feeling. I kind of avoid making 'too much' good friend, because I just don't want to spend all my time bothering about them. I pesronally really like being alone and minding my own business. So you're definitly not alone in that.
As to deserving love, well, in my opinion a person deserves as much love as other people are willing to give to them. If other people think you deserve their love, you do. Same goes the other way around.
Comment has been collapsed.
Well... there are people who will still love you no matter what kind of a douche you are to them (for example, mothers) but "deserving" to me means it's somehow justified... but really, sometimes I don't get why people think so.. and maybe to them it's justified, but still wtf.
Comment has been collapsed.
If you are having to trade your individuality and independence for good relationships, then they might not be good relationships. :-P
Comment has been collapsed.
I meant things that come naturally to other people. I want to do what I want with my life, and not sacrifice it for someone else, so let's say if a person has some kind of shit going on and they need emotional support from their best friend which would be me, but I'm in the middle of a really neat video game, I'd be probably pissed. I'd have to sacrifice my game time to cheer up a whiny friend. I'd probably do it anyway but it's the kind of limiting stuff I don't need in my life, and that's why it's better to not form some emotional bonds with people. I want my life to be truly mine.
Comment has been collapsed.
Damn, you have a face? Gotta buy myself one as well, since it seems to be mainstream :/
Comment has been collapsed.
I swear they had some kind of conspiracy against my anxiety, because for some reason everyone talked to me.
I know that feeling. Every time my anxiety is at its worse, suddenly people try to interact with me way more than usually (which is already more than I'd like), while I'm internally crying "Why me? What have I done to deserve it?" X__x
Comment has been collapsed.
Yea, I guess they want to cheer you up or something when you look like you're lost and scared. :P
Comment has been collapsed.
And they make it worse that way D: But if your theory is correct, at least they have good intentions :)
Comment has been collapsed.
I think they do. They were all very polite to me, even the most drunk guy who could barely stand on his feet, he apologized so much and all that... can't understand how so many other women have sexual harassment experiences from their nights out... maybe a cultural thing, I don't know.
Comment has been collapsed.
You were probably distancing yourself a bit from the person you were talking to. The sexual harassment (or just general drunken creepiness) tend to happen when someone reads your signals as a "yes".
Comment has been collapsed.
Hm, true, I don't send "yes" when I think "no"... Or maybe people here are just better at reading no as a no.
Comment has been collapsed.
Well, you were at a metal gig. In my experience metalheads are generally nicer people (especially to other metalheads) and are usually better at reading signals etc.
Comment has been collapsed.
+1, don't think I've ever seen any rude shit going on in this type of events.
Comment has been collapsed.
It's, in my experience, mostly a case of drunk (and randy) people seem to read anyone being open & friendly towards them as "I want to have sex with you!". As you're an introvert, you're far less likely to come across as "open", and thus people won't go after you in that way. It's not that people who do the typical "drunken harassment" are trying to be bad, it's just that they read far too much into things when they're drunk, and behave accordingly (and thus should not drink, being drunk is not an excuse for bad behaviour).
Comment has been collapsed.
my most sexual harassment-ish experience happened during the daytime at the bakery o.o (don't ask)
I think it all varies from person to person, 'cause my friends' experiences are way different than mine.
Comment has been collapsed.
I ask! Tell me all about it. :D
Did some guy mistook your buns for the buns he came to buy from there?
Comment has been collapsed.
Ahahahaha, good one :D
Ashamed of how awkwardly I reacted to the whole thing and the culprit escaped consequences because of that T___T
Comment has been collapsed.
/sadface. Well, a learning experience, then-- something you'd handle differently if there's a next time. I sometimes wonder what it must be like to be a pretty young lady, with so many men-- including the bad ones-- attracted to you and far too many of them not afraid to show it in awkward, unsettling, annoying, or even dangerous/scary ways. It's something that no man can truly understand, I would think. Please don't be ashamed. You'd never been in a situation quite like that and 99% of people are going to wish they handled it differently in one way or another after the fact.
Comment has been collapsed.
I know, it's been years ago, now I'm grown up enough to know how to handle things, but every time something bad happens to me I don't want to something like that happen to other people and because I didn't manage to do anything in the end then, that man might've done it again to someone else D: I know I'm oversensitive when it comes to such things, but I've been avoiding the place like a plague for two months after that D:
Still, bad things like that I can count on the fingers of one hand, it's a drop in a sea. Mostly people were showing their attraction in a nice and polite way :) I still was awkward as hell when it was happening, but that's just me being me xD
Comment has been collapsed.
maybe a cultural thing
yes, there are places with more... turdish men...
Comment has been collapsed.
I wish more extroverts would know how to actually start a conversation with an introvert at a party. Don't get too close too fast, and give the introvert some conversation thread that's not too personal to start on ("Hey, do you like history?" or "Have you seen the latest Star Wars movie? What did you think of it?" are a lot better than asking "So, how are you enjoying the party?"). I've met a bunch who are good at it, but far more who are not so good at it.
Comment has been collapsed.
This. Those "how do you feel" type of questions are so bad... I usually don't really "feel" so I never know how to answer them. Would rather talk about something factual.
Comment has been collapsed.
It's been kind of a stressful day in a good and bad way, so let me just rant and give away some games.
So, I won a ticket to a little gig. Nothing huge, just a 7€ thing, but anyway, trying to balance my karma here. There were bands that played Megadeth and Sepultura covers, and some OC bands too, but the main theme of the event was Megadeth's Rust In Peace. And yeah of course I wanted to wear my Megadeth shirt there, which was more like a nightgown to me so I spent the first half of the day trying to sew it into something wearable, and worrying if it will be ready in time. Managed to finish the shirt, but unluckily kind of messed up my planned hairdo so yeah more reason to be anxious over fugly hair. Did I tell you I have like probably every kind of anxiety there is? Well yeah.
Fast forward to the event, omgsomanypeople, like10oftheminthesameroom, trying to stay calm and all that. There was like 1 dude I knew and other dudes total strangers, and I swear they had some kind of conspiracy against my anxiety, because for some reason everyone talked to me. Well it was kind of cool to be not ignored as per usual but kind of scary anyway. And I even made a new Facebook friend. Still kind of anxious and weird, trying to chill down here... meanwhile, have gibses.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/9AnZF/year-walk
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2WpnT/bloodrayne
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/nvFWm/bloodrayne-2
Edit: I just noticed my whitelist number starts with 2 now, so throwing in a little extra, and let's make it a whitelist celebration thread, too:
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/VZ1Th/krautscape
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/gxdwi/grapple
You can post memes, gifs or anything cool. Especially stuff about Megadeth or anxiety.
Pic related, this is my anxiety-ridden face in Megadeth shirt, so everyone at the party could have a reason to ask me about my face, or my music taste.
Comment has been collapsed.