Did you hear about the explosion at a shoe factory?

Oh my god why XD Puns are my weakness.

That's bad, my friend had a similar experience.

His bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

So one time i stole the banana bread my aunt made, and she thought she'd lost her mind.

You can say she went........ bananas.

That's bad. But bananas are curved. And you know how I know this? Because without geometry, life is pointless

I knew a farmer once... He had a pretty good celery.

...Yeah, I suck at puns...

[EDIT] Here's another one. I wanted to enter a giveaway on Steamgifts, but it was so pointless... So I waited a bit and entered once I had enough.

So a cop goes up to a clown and says can you tell me a joke. the clown puts his hands around the cops neck and strangles him. Then the clown says the chokes on you.

What steps were taken?

What do you call a bear in the rain?

Who will be footing the bill for the damaged goods?

Let’s talk about rights and lefts. You’re right, so I left.

Damn it's so cold in here .. i will go sit in the corner it's 90 Degress

Did you hear about the explosion at the Fish Packing Factory?

It was Sole destroying, the owner exclaimed "Oh my Cod!" - the fish got battered.

A guy liked to hop trains to get from one side of town to the other. One time he slipped and lost part of one arm and one leg. After he healed up and got his prosthetics, he started hopping trains again, just like before.

I asked him why on earth he hopping trains again. He said gas prices just cost an arm and a leg.

(This is actually based on a true story, but the idiot isn't smart enough to come up with this joke on his own.)

ALSO: If you like puns & fish themed puns, this song is FULL of them. Classic.
Wet Dreams by Kip Adotte

Don't worry. Time heels all things.

The gas tank in the basement proved to be the Achilles heel.

I don't think I can handle any more of this pun-ishment, so I'm going to plant my contribution here and leaf.

Did you hear about the Sea World trainer who tried to sue after being dunked in the pool? It turns out he dolphin the water on porpoise, so there was no point in whaling about it.

My favourite one will always be this one right here:

What does one cell say to its sister cell that just stepped on the first cell's toe?

...

...

Mitosis!

I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

You are a heel if you believe this story.

Did you hear about the gymnasts that fell during their act? It was pretty hairy.

I didn't even mean to do that, it was a slip of the tongue.

I had a bad experience at a BBQ party recently. The cook was this gambling addict who kept raising the steaks...