6 years ago*

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Men of SG: have you ever mistreated women?

View Results
Yes, I have.
I am part of the problem.
But I want to be part of the solution.

Some of these points are valid, but most are just sexist. How about we treat all people "better" (=equal), regardless of their sex, race, beliefs, diet, operating system, and stop pointing fingers all around, but start from ourselves instead?

6 years ago*
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I agree with all but operating systems. Mac sucks!

6 years ago
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Low capital letter users are just as worthy as ones with capitalized names!

6 years ago
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Hmm... I always wonder the reaction if you would swap men and woman in these ;D

6 years ago
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Don’t read a list like this and think that most of these don’t apply to you.

Maybe you should swap those genders around, and read the list back to yourself.

Don’t need to literally witness a man being horrible in order to believe that he’s horrible. Trust and believe women.

What is wrong with you? Automatically assuming that a man is horrible, based on the gender of the accuser?? It's that sort of thinking that leads to false rape allegations that brutally destroy people's lives.

Sit in the corner and have a little think to yourself.

6 years ago
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The underlying problem is that society is in a transitional state. Women used to have privileges to compensate for lower social status. However, they now have equal status (some would say more than equal status) yet have retained their old privileges too. Simply put, they are enjoying the best of both worlds while men have to endure the worst of both worlds.

6 years ago
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I don't want to launch an endless debate or be aggressive here but what privileges exactly are you talking about?
I'm not trolling or anything, I'm just curious.

6 years ago
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Unfortunately I'm a bit short on time these days, so here are just a few:

  • child custody & alimony most often benefit women (even those who are far from resourceless)
  • women-only shelters (way fewer homeless women than men)
  • women-only anti-domestic abuse hotlines / not being systematically considered as the abuser whenever there's a fight in a couple

Cf also https://thoughtcatalog.com/mark-saunders/2014/04/18-things-females-seem-to-not-understand-because-female-privilege/ (which very unsurprisingly got attributed a big fat warning that you shouldn't read it - I suppose I should be "thankful" that it wasn't just purely deleted...)

6 years ago
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In understand your point, however those advantages exist because men often abuse women in those cases. Child custody is because most of the time the father is the absent one, women-only shelters are because being on the street is often more dangerous for women (because of sexual abuses). As for the last one, it's because it's more often men who are indeed faulty when it comes to family. And there also exist men-only hotlines.
Now I didn't say men are always the bad guys in those cases. Every situation and person is different. The fact is most of the time in these cases the man is the faulty one. Not because men (nor women) are evil or stupid or plotting against the other sex, but because it's a problem in our societies and the way children are raised.

I think it's about time we stop saying "men do this", "women do that", "men are like this", "women are like that" and start treating everybody just the same way.

6 years ago
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I'd just like to add this: the fact that fathers are absent does not mean that they would not prefer otherwise. This may only serve as anecdotal evidence, but to me, it shows that this issue is not as simple as you might think:

My father was absent during my childhood. It was not because he left, but rather it was because my mother left him. She left without a word and didn't tell him where she was going or how to get in touch, not even giving him a chance. And so, when he tried to get help with this and find out where we'd gone to arrange to see us, there was virtually nothing he could do. On top of this, moment he tried to go through official channels, they automatically started taking money from his wages as child support (which is fair enough - if you make a child, it's your responsibility to support it).

My mother then met another man and we moved in with him. They had a child and my little sister was born. Soon after, we again left - this time my sister being even younger than I was when my mother left my father. A while after being in a homeless unit with her 4 children, my mother finally got a council house in a crappy area and was supported by child support payments from three men (my older brother's father was a different man too) as well as government benefits.

Now the thing is, my sister's father's family was more well off, so they had the resources to commit to finding us - a process that again started child support payments, but progressed further - especially since we were only a city over this time instead of having moved across a country border. So what happened when he tried to resolve this outside of the court after learning our location? It was "harassment" and he got a restraining order. And then what happened in the court despite his family being wealthier and more stable? My mother was given preference.
In the end - after my sister got a bit older - my siblings and I cooperated with him (something made easier by the advent of things like Facebook) and she was secretly spending time with him and his family without my mother's knowledge. My younger brother and I also met our father when we were teenagers (without our mother's knowledge beforehand). My older brother did the same with his father and we were all able to have normal relationships.

So you might think "Well why did your mother leave all those men? Surely they must have been abusive!". It's actually the opposite. My older brother's father was a sweet man with a good job from all accounts of him (was before I was born). My father was physically and verbally abused by my mother when they both drank, which ended up with him restraining her and then she'd call the police. Multiple exchanges like this made him an irritable person until the relationship began to break down.

My mother had many relationships after this - she even got married briefly - but none of them lasted. All of them were abusive and after my older brother was kicked out at 16, I became the one that had to try and restrain her. She would throw ashtrays and slap all the men around and they'd not be able to defend themselves. Sometimes, the men did bad things too (never anything violent mind you); for example, some of them would move in and then be kicked out and not be allowed back to get their stuff, so they'd break windows and such.

And yes, despite all this, I do love my mother. You can't not love your mother. But it just goes to show that things aren't always as simple as "well the fathers are absent - it's their fault!".

Sadly enough, the same thing has now happened to my older brother. He was living with his girlfriend and their 4 kids. She cheated on him and HE was kicked out. Again, after "harassing" her by calling multiple times late at night without success (probably out of anger - something we tried to advise against), he got arrested (He was living with me - the police turned up at my door) and got a restraining order that specified that he can't go near the house or contact his children in ANY way. Not once did he even go round there because he knew he'd be way too angry and didn't want the kids to be part of it. And not once in the past has he endangered or physically hurt his girlfriend or children, but he somehow still got this order from the police. So you have no idea the kind of mental stress and depression this created in him; to lose his girlfriend and kids of 16 years, his home and be treated like he was the one in the wrong for it all.
Now, were there problems with my brother before all this happened? There certainly were - he went a long time without a job and he was depressed. But he did not deserve that. We're now trying to help him back onto his feet and get access to my nephews and nieces.

It's clear to me personally that women get preferential treatment in general, so I can't help but agree with DingDong. And it's not limited to domestic cases - the same thing can happen at work too. Though I believe that men do also get preferential treatment at some companies the higher you go; I don't know why this is (again, just anecdotal evidence based on my own experience, so can't be sure), but I believe it to be changing (at least where I live), as evidenced by the greater amounts of women in upper management than I perceived before entering the workforce.

I wholeheartedly agree with your last statement too ^^ It can be kind of difficult when some percentage of half the population thinks you should apologise for being male though, and some of the other half state you don't get a say because you happen to be straight and white too :(
A good place to start might be: "Treat others how you wish to be treated", but we still need a good adage for what to do when someone exploits that, unless you concede that you would wish to be isolated or ridiculed for treating someone badly. That's probably what makes forgiveness difficult too - the fear of being exploited (again?). If only "kill it with kindness" worked 100% of the time. Oh well, I'd rather try than not, and make my assessments on an individual basis instead of paint a whole group with one person's characteristics.

Long post is long.

View attached image.
6 years ago
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I wrote a lengthy answer to you, then acidentaly hit "back" and lost everything... T_T
To make short then: I hope everything is better for you now and it sucks that the case of your family was teated this way. Unfortunately mistakes and misjudgements happen and will always happen.

I live by the mantra "talk and behave with everyone as equals" and I hope most people do :)

6 years ago*
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Aw, I know the feeling. It's probably why I now have the odd habit of ctrl-A, ctrl-C at regular intervals... just in case.
And thanks for your thoughts and time regardless ^^ Have a nice day.

6 years ago
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men often abuse women in those cases

The difference isn't that big https://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence / http://www.oneinthree.com.au/overview/ (NB: unfortunately, that's stats on victims, not abusers, I don't have it handy but I remember reading things about abuser stats being even more balanced, due to a larger proportion of violence within lesbian couples, in which case both the abuser and victim are female, obviously)

But even then, as you say, every situation and person is different: just because there are a bit more male abusers than women doesn't justify a systematic bias against men as we see now. Justice is supposed to be tailored to the individual (that's "justice"), not the group ("group justice" aka "social justice"): https://youtu.be/9Xb9ohiU-9A?t=2m35s (cf ~2m35s, although the rest is nice too)

And there also exist men-only hotlines

That really depends on the country... I wish I could find it again, but I once saw an ad campaign for a domestic violence hotline which basically said "women, call us to get help against abuse; men, call us to get help to stop abusing your wife/gf" :x
Still, whenever there's a men-only online, there's also a women-only one while the reverse ins't true. Why not just have one non gender-specific hotline in every case?

I think it's about time we stop saying "men do this", "women do that", "men are like this", "women are like that" and start treating everybody just the same way

+1, that's what equality is (or should be...) about

6 years ago
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The difference isn't that big

I think the difference is bigger than it seems because women are taught to shut up and often don't talk when abused. Look at the recent scandal with Harvey Wenstein: all those women have been silent about their agressions for years!

Justice is supposed to be tailored to the individual

I definetly agree with you on what justice should be, and I dare hope it' how it's done in most cases. There are people doing investigations in abuses cases, and therefore trying to determine who is the faulty one. I didn't notice a particular tendency to systematically say the man is guilty.

women, call us to get help against abuse; men, call us to get help to stop abusing your wife/gf

Yeah that was an akward way of advertising their hotline...

+1, that's what equality is (or should be...) about

Well, not only. I think it's first and foremost about raising boys and girls the same way. We won't be able to treat everyone the same way until people are raised to be individuals and not some shade of a gender archetype.

6 years ago
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I think the difference is bigger than it seems because women are taught to shut up and often don't talk when abused

Actually, many men don't talk when abused either, out of fear of not being believed, or even getting in trouble (law enforcement bias...), or just out of shame (again, I guess it would make sense to blame this on the patriarchy culture: it's not something that only benefits men, it's something that assigns gender roles, with benefits and drawbacks for both genders).
All in all, I think it's hard to say which kind of abuse (against women or against men) is the most under-reported...

I definitely agree with you on what justice should be, and I dare hope it' how it's done in most cases

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4541874/lavinia-woodward-oxford-university-stabbing-boyfriend-student-suspended-sentence/
Of course, that's only one case and detailed stats would be much better, but I don't remember ever reading a case of a physically violent man who stabbed his gf being spared jail or at least some kind of big monetary compensation... Usually, men are kicked out of their football team for just being accused of violence, before the trial is even finished (innocent until proven guilty, eh...).

6 years ago*
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If you are asked to be on a panel/team and see that it’s all men, say something. Maybe even refuse the spot!

The only same-sex group I know of at the workplace is all-female. Should I demand from the company head (also a woman) to hire a male in that team then?

If a woman says no to a date, don’t ask her again.

Did that. Three months later the girl reprimanded me that I never asked her out again and we were together for some while after that.

Be aware of your inherent power in situations and use it to protect women, especially via talking to other men.

Best advice to cull the population.

If a woman is really drunk, she cannot consent to you and she also cannot consent to your buddy who seems to be trying something. Your buddy is your responsibility, so say something and intervene.

If an adult drinks herself to the point where she does not know what she is doing, then it is her responsibility as an adult and not mine. If I switch around this, then you are telling me that a woman is not mature enough to know when to stop drinking and it is up to me as a male to protect her like some helpless child. Empowerment at its best.

6 years ago
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The only same-sex group I know of at the workplace is all-female

https://twitter.com/lheron/status/733758898855940098 👀

6 years ago
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I agree with most points, but I think this one is not helpful:

Learn to read a fucking room.

It's not a matter of decision, unlike most of the other points. Some people are naturally better at this than others, and it's not necessarily a skill that anyone can easily acquire to an effective degree.

Don’t need to literally witness a man being horrible in order to believe that he’s horrible. Trust and believe women.

It depends on the story and the credibility of the person (not just woman) who tells it. I don't automatically accept stories as true. At the same time, I don't automatically think that a negative story about a reputable person is not true. Take stories seriously, double check if possible, and don't assume.

With that said, good post. I hope people actually read the entire OP.

Edit: I agree with many of the posters that the tone of this post is counterproductive and alienating, and that the same points could have been communicated better.

6 years ago*
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I just hope they read the reserved reply, hnng.
(spoilers : Almost nobody will. The bait was too perfect, it succeeded beyond expectations)

6 years ago
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I saw the gif in the Reserved reply, and as far as I'm concerned what I wrote above still stands.

6 years ago
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" ideas on how you should treat women better"
Pay women as much as you pay men.

Implying they aren't , what about this Yirg ?

6 years ago
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Not sure I understand what is here to question. Women of equal experience and abilities are paid less than men, frequently significantly less. This absolutely has to change, and employers that would fix their ways and start paying their women employees equally would as a result treat women better.

6 years ago
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"Women of equal experience and abilities are paid less than men"

can i get more info on this ? is it illegal to pay women less

6 years ago
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It's probably illegal in most countries, but it's difficult to enforce because most people don't share how much they're paid with their colleagues, so it'll be difficult for a woman to prove she is being paid less. In addition, the employer (at least in private companies) can always claim that salaries are not fixed but are negotiated, and that the woman just didn't negotiate as effectively has her male counterpart.

It's difficult to fix this problem, but if you're an employer (or will be in the future), keep it in mind and do the right thing - pay employees based on merit, not gender.

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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If you're trying to find research that "proves" there's no gap, you'll find it. Just like you'll find research that "proves" that humanity does not contribute greatly to climate change. After all, if 3% of climate "experts" claim this, it must be true. I can only wonder what percentage of "experts" claim there is no such salary gap between the genders...

Your claim about CEOs and billionaires is irrelevant. There's plenty of research that shows that the median salary of men is higher than that of women, and this is after adjusting for working hours and education to be equal.

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6 years ago*
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It may be illegal, but mountains of research show it's the norm in most countries.

Yes, it's unlikely you'll see gaps in minimum wage jobs like those offered by fast food or store chains. Same for state or government jobs, where salary is very regulated. But when the salary and terms are open for discussion and negotiation, the end result is that women get less.

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6 years ago*
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Again with the CEOs? I feel like we're in a loop.

People who just finished their studies, and it doesn't matter if they studied to become a lawyer, a programmer or an accountant, they want to get started with their career. When offered a job they usually won't negotiate too hard because they're afraid to miss the opportunity. Frequently their negotiation for their first job will get them something trivial like a couple of extra vacation days, but not a significant change in the base salary that is offered to them. Unlike employees who are already established and are looking for a better job or a raise, those who just started are more likely to take whatever base salary is offered to them. And guess what? The employer can and do offer a different base salary to men and women, and since it's all "negotiable" and not exactly a subject employees talk about between them, it would never end up in court. It will only show up in research that checks the actual salary of men and women.

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6 years ago
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On average it clearly goes against women, as is evident by women on average making less for the same job (hour adjusted etc).

6 years ago
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And to answer the points you added later:

Your example about Mike and Sally is irrelevant to what I wrote. Quote from my previous post: "this is after adjusting for working hours and education to be equal."

It doesn't need to be 20-30% gap to be unjust and morally wrong. Even 5% advantage, just for being a man, is infuriating. It would have been equally infuriating if it was the opposite, but I don't think there's any country in the world where women get paid more for the same job/hours/skills.

Where did I say anything about positions requiring one to be male or female to apply? I didn't say this, I don't claim this, and it has nothing to do with what I do say, and that is that when comparing men and women who do the same job, with the same skills and for the same amount of hours, the women on average get paid less.

6 years ago
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6 years ago*
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Where did I say women should be paid more? Please scroll above to where I specifically wrote "pay employees based on merit, not gender." Did you miss this part? Please don't twist my words. This is exactly what I wrote:

It doesn't need to be 20-30% gap to be unjust and morally wrong. Even 5% advantage, just for being a man, is infuriating. It would have been equally infuriating if it was the opposite, but I don't think there's any country in the world where women get paid more for the same job/hours/skills.

Saying "I don't think there's any country in the world where women get paid more for the same job/hours/skills" doesn't mean I think there should be (I obviously don't)/. It just there to juxtapose the fact that in many (likely most) countries, women get paid less for the same work, with the same skills and for the same amount of hours. It's a sad fact of life, and being a denier doesn't help.

6 years ago
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Even 5% advantage, just for being a man, is infuriating.

Just comes down to proving that this indeed is for just being a man and not some other factor and we're all set for the changes needed.

but I don't think there's any country in the world where women get paid more for the same job/hours/skills.

This would also be illegal in most places. In the same vein, though, I think there are bigger discrepancies in earning depending on other things that should be unrelated, like e.g. length, attractiveness or charisma. Nothing is ever going to turn out exactly the same if you start comparing two group with different characteristics.

6 years ago
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Just comes down to proving that this indeed is for just being a man and not some other factor and we're all set for the changes needed.

What else would it be if all other factors are adjusted for? If equally skilled women are paid less just because the employer is prejudiced to think men have more charisma than women, it's still discrimination that does not benefit hiring the right person for the job. The employer needs to learn to adjust their prejudice and hire on merit.

This kind of discussion is exactly what needs to happen to raise awareness and make people rethink their ways.

6 years ago
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What else would it be if all other factors are adjusted for?

How can we tell?

just because the employer is prejudiced

We're never going to be able to abolish all prejudice though, or do you think we would be?

6 years ago
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We can tell based on gender being the only consistent difference after adjustment for other factors.

6 years ago
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How do we know we have adjusted for all other factors then?

6 years ago
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How? Read research papers on the subject and decide for yourself if you agree that all factors that matter were adjusted for. If the research, for example, doesn't adjust for Zodiac signs, it's up to you do decide if this is acceptable or not ;-)

6 years ago
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Oh, so you're saying any difference not already adjusted for must be because of sexism? While this may be true it sounds an awful lot like the God of the gaps argument.

6 years ago*
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gonna tag along with your last question. i have no idea.

6 years ago
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this applies also to me.

my best bets are:

  • you must be smart enough to understand when inside a room there's people fucking and not to enter and molest them.

  • you have to read the sign on the door before random opening it and entering, thus molesting the people inside, that will kindly ask you fuck off.

languege barrierr I guess

6 years ago
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Don’t punish women for witnessing your vulnerability.

Many people (women as well) aren't fond of showing weakpoints, and one of the defense mechanics is trying to push the other lower , to feel that one is still in the saddle. Movies often use it as a comedy element, when boss fucks up something, then start yelling at workers to stop looking, go back to their job or something like that. Or if you've been watching How I Met Your Mother, almost every single "Shup up Patrice" scene of Robin's is based on the same situation. Robin feels bad about herself (often in front of Patrice) so starts yelling at her, even if she wants to help and has nothing to do with the distress.

6 years ago
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6 years ago
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6 years ago
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It looks like the creator of this topic is not really serious about this.( I really hope that lol)
Both genders are need to be respected. Not just women.
And sorry everyone but you can't change an asshole into a kindful person.
EDIT: Just saw the creator's gif. Nice one man.

6 years ago*
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It's a quoted list from the internet. These are to be taken with a grain of salt on the best of days.

The list is obviously written by someone who isn't that nice, and it also covers that by saying 'Don’t expect women to be “nice”'. Well, I don't, but I certainly prefer to be around people who are nice, and I also don't think people who aren't nice should expect to be treated nicely in return (although in my experience they are often the ones who demand it).

6 years ago
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+1

6 years ago
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Ohh from.the internet...rightt.
I agree with you.
Some women are nice some aren't some men are nice some aren't... Can't blame everyone or change them.

6 years ago
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Yeah, I just heard it's the internet. Don't really know what that is. But looking at it, it's actually from The Guardian, so obviously should be read with care (and disposed of with care).

6 years ago
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This garbage shouldn't be on this forum.

Take this sentence for instance:
"Hey men, what are you planning to do better? Because you need to do better. Here are some ideas on how you should treat women better:"

Now replace the word men and women with another word, like inhabitants of a country or religious group.
"Hey Palestinians, what are you planning to do better? Because you need to do better. Here are some ideas on how you should treat Jews better:"

Same post, same garbage. This post should be closed for being hateful towards a group of people...

6 years ago
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If you want a good laugh, make the same list with genders switched.

Equal rights should go both ways....

6 years ago
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And i got the first blacklist for my comment. Keep them coming. xD

6 years ago
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Notice how the author of this post doesn't care to respond.
She just likes to bait people into a reaction, instead of having a discussion...

6 years ago
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Men of SG: have you ever mistreated women?
[ ] Yes, I have.
[ ] I am part of the problem.
[ ] But I want to be part of the solution.

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6 years ago*
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6 years ago
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ah yeah ... the shoe argument, gentlemen know how to use it

6 years ago
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Women deserve better than this stupid list. It's not even funny.

6 years ago
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I don't think you've had bad intentions when creating this, va3victis, but it's unfair and doesn't really propagate the idea of equality.

The thread's tone leaves no room for men to have a proper discussion and somewhat turns every argument of men into either "yes, I'm worthless" or "I'm in denial". The only ones who have a say in this based on that are women, which in discussion have gained some form of authority.

You probably know, but there are a lot of men that are fighting for equality. Maybe not the majority of them, but a lot, and the wording in this thread doesn't really show them respect.
I also do not agree with all the listed points and think they should be serving everyone, rather than only women, and I'd like to address only a particular point: respect isn't something that should only be received after showing respect, if everyone followed the "you only get my respect after showing me respect", which the thread implies women follow but men should not, no one would respect anyone. Rather, we should all treat each other respectfully before expecting anything from each other.

As someone pointed out above, if you switched genders and read this again it would sound ridiculously sexist and offensive towards women.
I know men aren't getting that oppressed in society, not by the same means, etc, but making them inferior won't solve the problem.
I'm a really firm believer in equal rights and equal treatment from and for everyone, so don't get me wrong, this just doesn't seem like the way to go about it. :)

6 years ago
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Or treat men worse, on equal footing with women.
That might be an easier path for you if you don't treat other gender well, in first place o_o

6 years ago
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Source: Nicole Silverberg

She earned with this shit too much (each cent for such bullshit is too much).
80% of the stuff is only ridiculous and far away from the real world.

Denied a job when no woman are there....
Did you see a woman at garbage collection ? I at no time in my life.
Or did you think that woman denied a hospital job when no men's are there ?

"You need to be better"
No, i need not.
When i WANT i can change anything.
When i read such stuff i am more in the direction to say "fy" to such woman (not to all).

I treat a woman how she deserves it. How she earned it.
When she treat me like a king i treat her like a queen..... very easy thing.

I make nearly no gender difference ... and that is often bad for woman because a big part of them try to reach things with the use of her body as "taunt", "maybe present" and by showing there weakness when it is helpfull -but equal is equal... not only when it brings advantages....-.

6 years ago*
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how to read a room? 🤔

6 years ago
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Learn to read a fucking room.

room = casual space ... for anything
fucking room = where you bang her ... sooner or later every room but at first it might be only the living/bed room

6 years ago
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but how to read it or this is some kind of feminism metaphor?

6 years ago
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metaphor? certainly someone writing a list to be taken seriously wouldn't
use curse words ... fucking room is rather blunt but ok, if thats what she calls it

6 years ago
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i see... soo it is just straight forward... room for sex. but why read it?
p.s. i am not a native speaker, so i can't get meaning of this phrase.

6 years ago
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Dominus is joking. The original is meant to educate you on how to behave properly. It's, of course, useless as advice and serves only as an ad hominem

6 years ago
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so she meant to clean up man's mess after yourself in the room?

6 years ago
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More like men should stop misjudging social situations so they won't do or say things that might make women feel uncomfortable. This is my interpretation at least. I could, of course, be totally wrong :)

Edit: I'm also open to the possibility that you understand this perfectly well and are just pulling my leg ^^

6 years ago*
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no, i am not pulling leg or trolling. just trying to understand what is behind phrase "read the room". nothing more.

6 years ago
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Ok, I hope I was at least a bit helpful then :)

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View attached image.
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What a bigoted sexist post. Women are people too you know. If they are being assholes, they deserve to be treated as such, just like any other person. Be nice and respectful regardless of the sex of the person.

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^

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Don’t need to literally witness a man being horrible in order to believe that he’s horrible. Trust and believe women.

I just want to add a little bit to this: [...] as you would trust and believe others. I don't trust 100% anyone regardless of gender, nation, race,etc - context (good worker in job environment, expert in their field) and personal history gives trustworthiness.
Seen my fair share of trustworthy, slacking, ignorant, eager or brilliant females during my studies, so while it sounds good on paper, the whole list just assumes that all females are nice and they point out mistakes in not an absolute asshole way or style - while males tend to be openly aggressive, manipulative, malicious females are just as much of a problem and I refuse to take them into the "all women should be respected unconditionally" category.
Everyone deserves the same basic respect and intention of working with them, and while I never go out of my way just to make anyone's life harder, I try to avoid people who are a pain to communicate, work or just be in the same room with them.
I get what was your intention with this va3victis. Sorry, but it's just so cringeful how these list overgeneralizes the males as dicks, while treats every female as a misrepresented victim who should be treated better (than what? tbh they shouldn't be treated better than males or they just swap places, and there is no solution) but the "better" just hangs there, while the context misses any "real" real-life situation.

"Pay women as much as you pay men" I mean, no.. Pay woman as much as you pay men for the same, similarly well done job would be better. Still, I agree with the vast majority of the list which is just "don't be an asshole with women" but that should be universal standard towards everyone. But the list goes out such a way to express bulletpoints in a long description, meanwhile leaves others awkwardly short. Baiscally the list both wants us to treat women as their own category because women, others that we should treat them better than we do (regardless of how we do) and again, others that don't generalize women because they are unique.
Because of this, while it has correct and important points, I think many people get a feeling that the list is just.. weird. Something is not correct with it. Because it feels like someone looked up a common complaints from women-list and offered solutions/ways to avoid them to each, while not having a proper idea behind it
Now I'm off to play some Orwell, enough thinking for the morning :)

6 years ago
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'Don’t read a list like this and think that most of these don’t apply to you.'

Luckily alot of these don't apply to me for various reasons

alk to your friend who is “kind of a creep” at work.
-We don't have a creep at work

If you are asked to be on a panel/team and see that it’s all men, say something. Maybe even refuse the spot!

  • There are alot more women at my work than men, it would almost be impossible to be in a team thats all men ( unless the women decided to do boys v girls)

Don’t call women “crazy” in a professional setting.

  • The women/men at my work are close enough that we call each other names all the time and no one ever takes offense

Don’t use your “feminism” as a way to get women to trust you. Show us in your day-to-day life, not in your self-congratulatory social media.

  • I don't want to get things from women , i'm a homo
    Don’t touch women you don’t know, and honestly, ask yourself why you feel the need to touch women in general.
    -Homo

Don’t send pictures of your penis unless she just asked for them.
-homo

If a woman says no to a date, don’t ask her again.
-homo

If a woman has not given an enthusiastic “yes” to sex, back the hell off.
-homo

If a woman is really drunk, she cannot consent to you and she also cannot consent to your buddy who seems to be trying something. Your buddy is your responsibility, so say something and intervene.
-I don't really go to parties with drunk women

Involve women in your creative projects, then let them have equal part in them.
-what projects?

Pay women as much as you pay men.

  • i dont pay anyone, in fact all the women at my work get paid more than men

Don’t use your power to get women’s attention/company/sex/etc.
-homo

Be aware of your inherent power in situations and use it to protect women, especially via talking to other men.
-The women i know don't need protecting ( sometimes they protect me)

To be far, most of these can be ignored if you assume that men aren't all sexual predators

6 years ago*
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Closed 6 years ago by Cjcomplex.